November 09 - solids and crawling underway but sleepless nights still here to stay!!

[scarlotti]

New and shiny thread

Thanks everyone. But a tired parent should not go swimming with her daughter who cannot swim on a sunday. And not put her armbands on because she can swim with her noodle. A tired parent should still be able to protect her baby girl. I told her when we first got there and she slipped in the shallow end and I caught her, i said 'you ok? its ok I am here, i will always be here to catch you' and I wasn't. I wasn't there.

Pav understand how you're feeling. Why not try to think of it this way .. agree, swimming wasn't probably the best option if you were so tired, nor taking off your glasses if you can't see that well and are sole carer for DD at that point ... so you won't do those again will you? I guess what the rest of us are saying is that there is no mileage in beating yourself up about it. You have learnt a valuable lesson from it (i.e. doing some things when tired aren't good!) and your DD is fine. She will not think now that you're not there for her so don't start down that road.

Dust yourself off, chalk it up to experience and park it. Tomorrow is another day.

Lemon - Isaac 30/9
Fruit - C 31/10
Helips - Millie 1/11
Koumak - Olivia 2/11
ursigurke - Paula 4/11
Scarlotti - Ioan - 8/11
Wook - Hedy - 9/11
SirBoob - Bryn 11/11
Tigger - Hen 11/11
Sleepless - Charlotte 13/11
Trikken - Annabelle 14/11
BeckyBendyLegs - Toby 14/11
Weston - Lexi 16/11
Wizzy - Daniel 16/11
Hobnob57 - I 22/11
Longwayaway - 25/11
Babba - bear cub 28/11
Dontworrybaby - E 29/11
MissInterpret - Rosa 3/12
Laugs - J 4/12
skorpion - Lucy 9/12

Hope everyone's ok. It's been ages since I've had chance to post, as usual, so I haven't had chance to read all 11 pages of chat. I saw what happened yesterday Pav and my heart goes out to you. That must have been terrifying but you are not a bad parent. Try to think of it as a story to tell to your daughter when she's older - my nieces and nephews are fascinated with stories about illness, broken bones, near misses etc

I had a horrible moment myself yesterday and was also beating myself up on the bad parent front. DD is now 2.8 and very independent. Unfortunately that can be a bad thing as she hates holding hands, being on reins, in pram etc and since her 4 yo cousin stayed with us last weekend, has become even more of a nightmare since she thinks she's able to do everything herself. I tried to give her a bit more freedom and have twice let her walk to the swings without holding my hand, just pushing her little baby's pram while I pushed Daniel. Both times were absolutely great and she loved walking on her own right next to me. On the way back from the swings, the road that we have to cross to get to our estate was quite busy and we waited a few minutes with DD getting increasingly fidgety. I kept telling her to wait, good girl, you're doing really well etc and that we had to wait until all the cars were gone until the next time I went to pat her shoulder reassuringly, she shrugged it off and went to storm off across the road. Right into the path of a huge 4x4. I don't know how I did it but I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and dragged her back just in time. I practically screamed at her that she must never ever cross the road unless mummy said it's safe and then, shaking like a leaf, struggled to carry her back in one arm, while juggling her pram and Daniel's pram with the other hand. I'm ashamed to have let it happen, as I'd obviously forgotten just how young she is. She was really shaken up too and I told her that she's not allowed to walk alone anymore until she's a bigger girl since she didn't wait on the pavement. I think I'll be having nightmares about that for ages...

Daniel is such a happy baby, I feel like he's my redemption for DD having been such a difficult baby with various illnesses, bad temper etc. He's really rough though and loves nothing better than to rough and tumble with DD! He doesn't crawl or bumshuffle, but lies on his back and uses his feet to propel himself backwards, lifting his bum so he looks like an upside down caterpillar! When he hits an obstacle or wants to know where he is in relation to whatever he's making a beeline for, he rolls over, has a good look around, changes direction if needs be and off he goes again! Today he sat up unaided for the first time and yesterday said "Dada" - closely followed by "num num" - DH said he was trying to call him "numbnuts!"

Can I ask a couple of questions? Sorry if these have already been brought up in my absence but I'd appreciate the advice. Is anyone else struggling with sibling rivalry? DD has been so good up til now but just lately has turned into a tantrumming nightmare, particularly since Daniel has started grabbing her toys (cue much praise if she shares and diplomacy if she doesn't). She's a thousand times worse if DH picks Daniel up...

The other thing is Daniel seems to be obsessed with his, erm, gentleman's area . He grabs it the second his nappy comes off and yesterday I swear it did something that I didn't think baby boys bits could do. I'm too embarrassed to ask the health visitor whether that kind of reaction is normal... any ideas?

Off to eat leftover cherry pie and custard. Diet starts yet again tomorrow....

Lemon - Isaac 30/9
Fruit - C 31/10
Helips - Millie 1/11
Koumak - Olivia 2/11
ursigurke - Paula 4/11
Scarlotti - Ioan - 8/11
Wook - Hedy - 9/11
SirBoob - Bryn 11/11
Tigger - Hen 11/11
Sleepless - Charlotte 13/11
Trikken - Annabelle 14/11
BeckyBendyLegs - Toby 14/11
Weston - Lexi 16/11
Butterpie - Emmeline 16/11
Hobnob57 - I 22/11
Longwayaway - 25/11
Babba - bear cub 28/11
Dontworrybaby - E 29/11
MissInterpret - Rosa 3/12
Laugs - J 4/12
skorpion - Lucy 9/12

I'm on my way to bed, but just wanted to say, we all have bad moments, mine are always having horrifying near misses. I try to tell myself that you have to let them take risks, but it doesn't really help. But don't worry if you let your guard down and something happens, it wasn't your fault.

Wizzy I personally think that the near misses teach them more than we could ever do if they have strong personalities. Whilst it's not something you seek out to happen, the lesson learnt for them is a good one. I suspect your DD was shaken up, and now has learnt just how dangerous it is.

As for Daniel and his fascination ... comes with having a boy I'm afraid it will feel nice to him and is no different to the fascination with his hands etc. Pay no attention and he'll soon move on. If you react then chances are it will continue as he'll like your reaction iyswim. Oh, and they grow (ahem) right from day 1, again all normal although quite startling for us mums the first time it happens!

Another 5am start here poor chap was constipated again so I was bicycling legs at 5am to help him along. Going to try and get a doc appointment today as fruit, oj in water etc doesn't seem to be helping. It's the only time he really screams and it breaks my heart

Hello everybody! We are back from our trip to Vienna. It was great and exhausting. I'm catching up later but I hope you are all fine. Paula made huge progress, I guess motivated by all those other children we were visiting. Now she is crawling properly not just moving somehow. She is also sitting up by herself. That was really a surprise. I didn't see that coming. And she got a new set of teeth during the trip, so now she has 5!
I was really lucky that she was so well during the trip. Everyday she met new people but she clearly enjoyed being in the middle of attention of adults waving and smiling to her. She was more with children, especially the two loud and crazy ones of my sister. But at the end of the week, she was even jumping up and down on my arm every time we were ringing the bell of my sisters flat (as we stayed in the same house but different flat that happened several times a day) So the whole trip was a huge succes, but we are all happy as well to be home again.
Oh, but she is now really difficult when I'm not in sight. When someone else holds her but she can see me, she wants me. And today, she starts crying everytime she can't see me. That's a bit annoying. I'm not sure if it is only normal development or if it is more because of the trip (I do hope so)
Ok, need to do a zillion of washing but try to read those 11 pages later.

ursi glad you had a good trip and well done Paula on her milestones!!
Seperation anxiety starts around now - they basically realise that when they can't see you, you're not there, but haven't yet worked out that you will come back. Try calling out to her and chatting whilst you're out of eyesight so she can hear you are still around.
It's a bit tiring this one, but it does pass!

I do agree with everyone in theory, i do. But, how many of you have had their child rescued by a lifeguard ? I bet none.

I am about to call and arrange some 1:1 swimming lessons for her. We had decided she did not need them as she is so confident she would get it soon. She needs to learn now We spend a lot of time on the water (she has a life jacket for boats and by the sea that will not change) we cannot take any chances now. She is too hectic and energetic.

Bear cub has not slept very well. DH is poorly. They are both in bed asleep.

hi all, Ursi glad you had a good trip too.

Pav sorry to hear about your scare, it is horrible when things like that happen and it does shake you up but I think that there is absolutely no way we can prevent our children from ever doing dangerous things and that no matter how good a parent (or child for that matter) our children will have things happen to them like this and will be a learning curve for all involved. we have to try to keep them as safe as we can of course but if we protected them from everything they wouldnt learn about life and the world around them. dont berate yourself for what happened, you are a good mummy.

Annabelle has chicken-pox, she seems ok herself though. Just come back from the Dr's as I wanted to make sure that's what it was. I had to take her in the sling, which she actually seemed to enjoy this time so that's one good thing.

Pav no lifeguard here, but I have done a trip to A&E with DD when she was about 3 or 4. She fell on big stones and cracked all her front teeth - this was despite me standing right next to her and having told her to be careful. I was talking to my brother having turned away when it happened. Blood was everywhere, luckily the teeth re-gripped in the gums so she didn't lose them all.

Trikken sorry to hear Annabelle has chicken pox. Do you have piriton? Good for itching for little ones.

Very well said Trikken! Pav Any progress with your studying? Were you applying for funding?

Anyone else not had periods back yet? I've had an odd little feeling just under my ribs a few times which must be wind but is very similiar to those early kicks. Not enjoying this 'no period' business!

I've had one, but then none at the beginning of this month! Not sure what's happening there

I'm going to wait a fortnight and if still no period I'm going to have to do a test. Very unlikely that it would be positive but I feel like I should rule it out. Ethan has been 'sleeping through' for about 8 weeks I'd guess. Thought something would've happened by now!

DWB it took 9 months for my period to return last time. I'm hoping it'll be the same this time too.

Wizzy & pav good to hear from you Wizzy . I echo entirely what others have said. Life is full of risks, be it water, 4x4s or darned wire fence bases that almost cracked dd1's skull on Friday. I'll say it again, thank God I put her helmet on that day as I don't always bother. These things do teach them valuable lessons. DD1 won't want to go on her scooter without a helmet any more, and wizzy's dd will understand that listening to mummy about waiting by the road is actually quite important. As dd1 has grown older I've found that all the little steps to independence are wrought with risk, but you just have to guide them and then one day let them do it themselves, like walking without holding hands, riding a bike without you holding on, . And there will be accidents/incidents (like running off/cycling off, etc.). But they are necessary to help them learn. Giving your LO opportunity to assert their independence isn't bad parenthood, despite how the accidents make you feel.

Saying that, I'm feeling like a bad mummy for letting the nurse get dd1 into such a state over her jabs on Friday. I so hope she's not scarred for life about jabs. She still won't let me touch the plasters.

Tigger good to see you

ursi glad you had a lovely holiday. I. is really clingy at the moment too. She barely tolerates DH holding her if I'm in the room. And woe betide if I ever dare to leave the room! Yes, as scarlotti said, it's very tiring.

Pav I'm so sorry about your scare. I can only echo what the other ladies have said. When DS1 was a year old, we had a bad incident. We had a lamp switched on and it wasn't a safety lamp. He started to walk before he turned 1 and managed to knock the lamp over whilst it was switched on and then grabbed the bulb . I couldn't reach him quick enough and watched him grab the red hot bulb. He had 2nd degree burns on his palm and fingers. He is fine now and no sign he ever went through such an awful accident. I beat myself up for a very long time afterwards. It was just terrible. I had done a first aid course just before the incident and knew what to do. It still haunts me to this day. I have a fear of table lamps and what they can do to a young child.

Welcome back ursi. Glad you had a lovely time.

Trikken hope A gets better soon.

Welome back lemon tigger and wizzy

How is Ioan's constipation today scarlotti I think C is also struggling and he's barely eaten over the last 3-4 days. He drinks plenty of water after each meal. I think I'll be trying the apricots tomorrow.

DWB I haven't had a period either, and every time I feel anything in that region I get a little nervous!

Fruit ouch, can only begin to imagine how you felt with that one.
Another stuck nappy this morning - at 5am! Maybe that's why he woke? Anyway, cue screaming so I did the bicycling legs thing and it all came out ok. Have had a few more small dirty nappies through the day and they've not been as dry. Been and bought prune juice today so we'll be starting on that tomorrow. Nurse said they can give us medicine if need be, but I'd rather go the natural route if possisble.

Thanks for the welcome back,

On the period front, I've not had any yet but I did bleed until Hen was 12 weeks old!! So I think I deserve a break.

Ursi sounds like you've had a wonderful trip and Paula has really come on,5 teeth so soon! Hen has done similar things this week, he has sat up, crawled (commando style) out grown his 0-6 month grobags and his crib, he has also started to sleep on his tummy, oh and his 1st tooth has almost poked through! All that in a week, aren't our babies amazing!

scarlotti Your poor little man, constipation is not nice in an adult so must be terrible for little ones. I know it's not whats advised now but when ds1 was constipated at about 2 or 3 months old we had tried all the water, juices etc my Gran suggested brown sugar dissolved in warm water, we did it twice a day for 2 days and he was sorted. Not ideal if he has teeth though.

So I was wondering if anyone was pregnant again yet?????

tigger I used that with DS1 and it worked so if the prune juice doesn't shift things then I'll definitely give it a go.
Well done to Hen for all his achievements!
I can see 4 teeth in the gums here but none have broken through yet.

Trikken here btw,

Annabelle is still fairly cheerful, even with the chicken-pox but I just want to hug her all the time, now I know how you felt when Toby got it BBL!.

I got my periods back right away, as I'm not breast-feeding. They definately seem more painful now, or maybe I've become a wuss.

wizzy do you mean erections? yes, perfectly normal, it is a physiological, rather than emotional thing! And the curiosity is also normal and likely to continue for a long time .

DWB studying is on hold til next year. For several reasons. There is ONE study place for the whole thing, and unlikely to extend to part time anyway, so funding for the Masters element is an issue. I need to save for the next year just in case I do not get it. More importantly, while I am so keen to get started I am itching, I realise that while I am so tired, I will not be able to my best. DD starts new school, I go back to work and not used to the extra work that two children will have on our routines when I am at work. I think taking on postgrad study at the same time is too much. So, I shall give myself one year to get ourselves on track and we will be able to add one more thing to it. I will spend the year working hard at my job to develop the skills and experience to prove to the uni/funding people that i am the one who deserves that funding. And then once I have the Masters, I will get funding for the doctorate part for sure. If I can't get funding I can afford to pay and then prove I am worthy of doctorate funding. It is too much of a rush and pressure right now. So, the next year, planning and prep.

hobnob thank you. You make a lot of sense. I read your post to DH. Thank you everyone else too.

Wizzy boys will be boys!
Pav hope you feel calmer now and have all in perspective
Sirboob lol at Bellend on the other thread
Funeral a week tomorrow, can't believe it takes so long!

Hi all, nice to see some old familiar faces back

DWB My periods haven't returned yet although still feeding lot's in the night! However, with ds they didn't come back until he was 10 months old and he slept through at 6 weeks!

Ursi Glad you had a lovely time in Vienna visiting your family. Wow, 5 teeth already, impressive!

Pav Hope you are feeling better today after your scare yesterday.

Scarlotti your poor ds, hope he feels better and the prunes start working soon!

Well, 2 nights ago millie slept through the night, woo hoo! I thought we had turned a corner but alas no, seems it was a freak event never to happen again! She has made up for it since then by waking up several times before I have even gone to bed, then i have ended up bringing her into my bed but she still keeps waking up crying every few hours. Last night ds was poorly too so I was dealing with 2 awake children on my own (dh is in Hong Kong this week). anyway, I'm wondering if Millie is suffering with wind as the past few evenings she has had a massive dinner and I have been giving her yogurt as a dessert. Since giving her yogurt she has been very unsettled in the night and last night was wriggling around in my arms and bringing her legs up (that's a classic wind sign isn't it?) So, tonight I am going to give her dinner earlier and no yogurt, hopefully that will improve things!

Hi all, nice to see some old familiar faces back

DWB My periods haven't returned yet although still feeding lot's in the night! However, with ds they didn't come back until he was 10 months old and he slept through at 6 weeks!

Ursi Glad you had a lovely time in Vienna visiting your family. Wow, 5 teeth already, impressive!

Pav Hope you are feeling better today after your scare yesterday.

Scarlotti your poor ds, hope he feels better and the prunes start working soon!

Well, 2 nights ago millie slept through the night, woo hoo! I thought we had turned a corner but alas no, seems it was a freak event never to happen again! She has made up for it since then by waking up several times before I have even gone to bed, then i have ended up bringing her into my bed but she still keeps waking up crying every few hours. Last night ds was poorly too so I was dealing with 2 awake children on my own (dh is in Hong Kong this week). anyway, I'm wondering if Millie is suffering with wind as the past few evenings she has had a massive dinner and I have been giving her yogurt as a dessert. Since giving her yogurt she has been very unsettled in the night and last night was wriggling around in my arms and bringing her legs up (that's a classic wind sign isn't it?) So, tonight I am going to give her dinner earlier and no yogurt, hopefully that will improve things!