Dec 08 Mums - Terrible twos already? Tears, tantrums, tiaras and tractors - and the rest!

[Beans33]

Hope this is better - sorry all!

Beans I haven't actually been to the HV for 8 (!) months I just know what she weighed 4 months ago for her hospital checkup.

Hey a question for you all - when do I get her proper shoes? Is it when she actually starts walking or should I now that she walks holding our hands?? At home she's mainly barefoot but she likes walking a bit outside now...

Kiwi - DD is in cruising shoes - Tots ones. They are great for crawling and if she starts walking, then they are fine for that too. I bought them for DD last week, just before she started walking unassisted properly, rather than a few steps at a time. Most annoying! BUT I asked them about it and they said cruising shoes are fine for when they are walking too and they don't recommend getting proper walking shoes until babies have been walking confidently for 6-8 weeks. Which is great news! BUT even these cruising shoes cost £24! It's so hideously expensive!!! But she does wear them every day and I got them in navy in case we have a boy next so he can wear them. Although her feet are only a size 2 and a 1/2, so very very small!!

kiwi, dd was also in cruising shoes once she started wanting to walk outside, eg holdin g on to the climbing frame at the park. You could probably get away with the soft-soled leather slipper types if the weather's good but because dd wanted to be on her feet in the crappy winter weather, we went for 'proper; shoes. Blimming expensive indeed, we managed to get some in the JL sales. The assistant was amazed when she asked me what styles I was interested in, and said I didn't care as long as they were the right size. Even (shock horror) boy's shoes! What really struck me is that all the girls' shoes are mary janes or little pretty things, the boys' ones are more boot-shaped and give more ankle support.

Fortifying vibes for the HV, Kiwi. I haven't had DD weighed or generally darkened her door for yonks - er...maybe ten months? I can't quite remember. She's a tiddler as well. Also, I can't stand the 'not walking yet' tut-tutting so I just avoid (though I need to get her swine flu jab done - and mine - has everyone had that now?)

JJ, that's just...potty. (Boom boom! ) Rubes and I were talking about potty training yesterday and it went something like this:

LT: When's potty training? I am dreading it. But it's not for ages, though, right?
R: (looks vague) Not sure, is it when they're about three?
LT: Haven't got a clue. Ah well.

I am not starting with DD until she understands "Do you need a poo?" and can respond appropriately. I think we're way off

Seriously, JJ, these women are nutters. Several tries of a 1 yr old's birthday cake? Bunting? It's nice to celebrate but that's serious overkill imo.

Feeling better about the MIL - had a long chat with my Mum who always says the right things. I actually think my MIL doesn't (always) mean to be malicious. She just lives in her own little bubble and is completely unaware.

lady - I haven't had swine flu jab and nor has DD. I honestly don't think it's necessary! Swine flu seems to have gone into hibernation. If it rears its ugly head again, then I will get it done for both of us - me if I'm still pregnant. DD anyway. But for now, am not bothering.

I heard potty training is some time before their 3rd birthday. That's my plan anyway.

AFter 2 and before 3rd birthday was what I meant!

Oh good, Beans, I was thinking the same but didn't know if I was being foolish/lax.

I meant about sf - NOT potty training!

I'm glad I wasn't being a thicko about the potty business. I did spot a wonderful "she who shall not be named's Potty training in a day" book at the library, perhaps a little ambitious?!

Lady v glad your mum has cheered you up.

I;m afaid we' did weigh and measure dd (at home) a few weeks ago just becasue she was popping out of her baby car seat and we wanted to know how big she actually was. There seems to have been a big growth spurt as she's suddenly up on the 91st centile line in the red book (yikes) and is out of a lot of her 12-18 month clothes. Stop growing damn you child!

(sorry for random incorrect punctuation, my computer has gone a bit mad and if I try to put the cursor somewhere, it runs away along the lines til it reaches the end. I can backspace, but nothing else. Toast crumbs under the buttons probably

Apparently that "1 day" title is quite misleading.... I've got her weaning book, which I did live by, but didn't do Gina baby for routine etc when DD was new - did Rachel Waddilove, which was ace.

Hi am posting quiclt so forgive typos!

Daisy: am thinking of you. It all sounds stressful and generally crummy. No advice but lots of warm thoughts.

Jj: utterly mad. I can't begin to tell you how lunatic those women are. Your dd is loved and happy, just ignore them.

Ladyt: your mil is a loon as well and I gurn in her general direction.

Oops better go!

Quicit? effie, are you talking to us in Latin? LOL at your gurning, can you do it properly? And if so, can you post a pic on your profile, please?

LadyT - cats-bum-face at your MIL and glad you had a nice day with rubes. Oh, and T did have the swine flu jab and got really sick so given the time again I wouldn't do it.

Daisy, that's so rubbish about your DH and poor DD breaking her arm at the same time. Does your DH know how far he's pushed you? Do you think he's capable of being different?

On shoes: T's been in his cruisers since November and his feet haven't grown since! But they are essential when they start walking outside, in mud etc

JJ, had to laugh at your baby signing friend. She would have been shocked at ours. Party cake from Asda and loads of Stella.

I have done too little work and study today. Html does not rock my world. Do need some more work though. Must. Plough. On.

JJ those women sound like a joke spoof yummy mummy group from a Kath Kidson book, are they mental potty training now? I started potty training DS1 at 2 and regretted it when he was 2 years and 1 day. Will wait at least another 6 months for DS2. Bugger she with her TT in one day, 7 days whatever, I'm writing a book 'TT in 3 months and how to stay sane'. And home made Bunting WTF, that is just bizarre. Seriously though I do feel sorry for their children, one day those kids are going to realise they are just a prop in their mother's theater show. DS1's first 2 birthdays were just a chance for a barby and piss up and his third was just a trip to the Thomas train thing with 2 friends and he finally had a party for his third. His first three cakes were care of the good people at waitrose (the best was a red racing car! Way better than i could do and under £8 each). And best of all DS1 enjoyed everyone of those birthdays!

Oh and we got shoes for DS2 when he wanted to walk outside and the snow was seeping through his 2 pairs of socks & foot bit of his snow suit. His shoes cost €50! But thankfully his feet don't grow as fast as DS1's did he needed new shoes every 6 weeks

at Lady and my potty training chat - we are rubbish! I think it's when they can at least communicate a bit and not until at least 2 or something right? I wouldn't be relying on ds's grunts right now to tell me a poo is coming!
JJ Wilhemina's mum would make me gag.

Back from a lovely day at the park and shops. went with 3 other lil ones. DS did his usual fence line walking searching for an open gate in the enclosed play area. Hard work as little kids keep leaving the gate open and ds seems to notice this from the other side and make a bee line for an escape opportunity. He was much better then yesterday but still hard work if in a park not enclosed with a river nearby

Lady glad you feel better about mil.

I was going to buy ds a bed soon (not right away but thinking before #2 and have been checking out one in Mothercare I wanted. managed to nab the exact one for 0.99p on Ebay! I'm so now going to spend a bit extra on a decent mattress and one of these and maybe a rail as well

not sure how long to leave it. He's a great sleeper at night but I'm a bit worried about naps as he'll get out I think

Shoes - mil wanted to get ds a pair a couple of months back. We went to Clarks and they were £30 what the heck are "cruising" shoes though?

Hi All

Daisy - I am sorry your (D)H is being such an arse. Don't feel guilty that you are so cross. Yes he has been through a hard time but that it no excuse for treating you with such little respect. Really it is NO excuse. He is a grown man who lost his mother, it was a horrible, painful thing to happen but it does happen and he can't keep using it as an excuse for treating you badly. Would you consider couples counselling?

Veggie - you are being wonderfully brave about your extended period of lone parenting with a sick and grumpy DS2. I think your attitude is amazing.

JJ - what a load of bollocks those women were spouting. Potty training at 16 months???? That's more likely to give a child issues than help them control their bladder. I potty trained DD1 at 2.5 and i know she wasn't ready earlier. Nor were any of her friends. However it was a relatively painless experience when I did try and I believe that was because she was old enough to understand what I was trying to teach her to do.

Kiwi - I did feel for you the other day when you said your DD was always grumpy. It is sooooo when they are like that. I remember Veggie once saying that her DS2's moans grinded at the core of her soul and that is exactly how I feel when DD2 has a bad day (& there are quite a few of those days!).

Dora - what a nightmare this ash is causing you. Your poor DH.

Damn, was going to post more but a putrid smell is escaping from DD2's nappy and DH is nowhere to be seen.

oh I meant to say - so sorry daisy, didn't know things were that bad

Thanks for the shoe advice! I will get her some cruising type ones. She has such tiny feet though, still fits easily in her 6-12 month soft slipper shoes from M&S! Not like my huge size 8 flippers

HV was actually amazingly cool - didn't even ask re walking and when I mentioned it said "Oh no don't even think about it until she's 18 months and even then just pop her to GP to rule out anything but it's probably just your genes i'm afraid!". Also happy w her weight - a whopping 19 1/2 lbs - still on or near her little line so that's cool. I realised that technically that means she shouldn't yet be in her car seat but I really don't think she'd even fit in her baby one, I'd have to fold her in half...!

Oh and she did something just now that almost makes up for her near permanent grumpiness.. DH said "DD do you love mummy?" and she turned round, looked at me, beamed and said "Yeah!"

That's cute, Kiwi. Hey, your HV sounds more enlightened than mine. Wanna swap? Mine's Old Skool.

This is actually a quickie for JJ to say I hope you and your DH and your DD have a fabby time in the Smoke tomorrow. Had a quick look in me books and apart from Coram Fields, I spotted Camley Street Natural Park, which has buggy access and seems to be virtually AT Kings Cross. Frogs, newts, other slimies, rabbits, pond dipping...Lunch, well, there's the North Sea Fish restaurant! Posh fish and chips.

Right, must go as DD has started lobbing food.

Hi, only popping in briefly but my advice re:potty training is wait until the child mentions it, we didnt with DS1 until he was about 2.9 months and then because he asked. I did feel really guilty not trying earlier because loads of other people were, but I couldnt manage baby + potty training TBH. Ancedotal but potty training him was a breeze, because he really wanted to learn. Friends who have tried before their children were ready seem to have more regressions. So we will wait with DS2 until he wants to do it. Competitive potty training is sad

Daisy sorry to hear about your DH. We have also considered separation. Then we had a day off from the kids and enjoyed eachothers company. I have been having some counselling/CBT and sadly when bad things happen to you it does seem to mean that you take it out on the people you love most. We wont separate but are working on spending some more time together and getting through the bad patch. Hard work though, so I sympathise.

Anyway, gotta go, being shouted at !

hello just coming on quickly as DH is making tea!

daisy nice to have you back but sorry things are so difficult. Do keep coming on here and talking to us if it helps you.

jj I am going to London on my day off in a couple of weeks and I am going to see this with my friend as she wants to see it!! Might be quite fun and the Barbican is a nice building and I imagine might have good cafes. I was most disappointed with your tale of competetiveness in that the child in question was not actually called Wilhemina. Oh re potty training were they English these mothers, as i know in Poland they potty train much earlier (A who we both know - works at the library - is getting grief from her family about potty training her 17 month DS, she doesn't want to). So could be a cultural difference.

kiwi that is cute. I was jealous so I tried asking DS the same question. He turned his back on me, got up and walked out of the room. Huh.

Oh shoes, i got some for DS ages ago as I thought he needed them for nursery. Then we lost them just after he started walking so we immediately got him some walking ones. Cruising shoes are for when they're not quite walking yet and cruising around. I imagine it's a ruse to make you buy multiple pairs of shoes as I can't see much difference and DS wears his cruising shoes now still (they turned up - typical!).

Right gotta go, tea ready.

Oh of course JJ Camley St is a lovely idea, specially in the current weather. As for lunch actually in Kings Cross there are quite a few places but the best hidden gem is 6 Chad Place - posting on iPhone but google it and you shall find.. Mind you the cafe downstairs in mu building ain't bad and always has lots of mum and babies hanging out (that's Kings Place) though if you go there you have to call me!! fb me for mobile...

hello.
daisy that's so hard for you. I'm praying for you and your dh. Does he know you're thinking along those lines? Would he be prepared to go to Relate or something? Or does your church do any kind of relationship counselling?
And NJAN sounds tough for you too Glad to hear the time together is positive - hope it keeps improving with the effort you're putting in.
Rubs that bed cover thing looks cool! When L was moving to a bed we first of all just put her on a mattress on the floor to see how she managed, without the fear of her falling out! When we knew she was happy without walls we got her a bed! With P, as she is 99.9% certainly our last , she is staying in a cot forever and I'm never going to potty train her or do anything which involves admitting she's growing up. Although she has graduated into 9-12 month clothes now!
I seem to be getting a little chunky I guess now I've stopped BF I should also stop allowing myself the extra 500 biscuits malteasers calories a day My knickers were cutting in to my legs yesterday. Must exercise. Am hoping to join a netball club this week - did I already tell you that? Sorry I'm waffling!
DH is out doing some tutoring so I've just had Spaghetti hoops on toast and a packet of Frazzles for my tea
kiwi that is gorgeous of your dd to tell you she loves you!
P has a skill! If I say "where's your nose?" she points at her nose! I know this is not the greatest skill in the world but it's pretty much her only one, so I shall rave about it to anyone who cares (or doesn't for that matter!). And she has added another consonant ('d') to her single 'm' so she is clearly nearly talking! It's so funny if I say "where's daddy?" or "where's Lucy?" or "where's mummy?" she puts her hands out and does a big I've-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about shoulder shrug! She even does it if I say "where's Phoebe?"!
Ladies - I have a decision to make. Our church does an annual women's weekend and a men's weekend. I went 2 years ago and really enjoyed it. DH is going on the men's one this weekend. The women's one is in a few weeks, and I had said I wouldn't go, as P was still BFing a fair bit. However she has since stopped so there's no reason not to go, but I've never left her overnight before and part of me (quite a big part ) just doesn't want to because I love her so much and I'll miss her. I'm not bothered about leaving Lu (which sounds awful!) because she's much older and will have a fab time with dh if I go anyway, but I just don't know if I want to leave my baby (see above about me not being willing to let P grow up...). Is that very pathetic?
Right, the constituent parts of tomorrow's packed lunches are calling to be assembled...
back soon x

Thanks all for the suggestions, SL that music thing looks brilliant Time to run some ideas past DH and see what mood we're in tomorrow morning, will let you know in the a.m. in case anyone's at that end of London and fancies meeting up

kiwi your HV sounds great! and well done dd for loving her mummy

trace good to see you sounding cheerful - re the weekend, how long would you be away for - 2 days and a night? Is it the kind of thing where you'd be so busy during the day that you wouldn't be able to miss P (IYSWIM)? Maybe you could give her a call to say hello at bedtime.

NJAN sorry to hear you've been having a tough time but it sounds like you've been working really hard at making things better.

I must speak up in defence of Wilhemina's mum, as far as I can tell she's only trained her to poo on the potty, not sure what the wee situation is - though W did have a suspiciously slender looking bum in her trousers. The deal seemed to be that W can now communicate to mummy when she needs a poo, so off to the potty. I know people do elimination communication but I thought the deal there was that you started it from the very outset. Ah well - summer coming soon, we can all let them run around the garden free as a bird!