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January 2009- toddlers turning 15mths and all that jazz (really just a new thread so DOG can fit it on her poncey iphone!)

918 replies

PatTheHammer · 05/04/2010 19:09

Good enough for ya dog .

And sorry I do realise some are only turning 14 mths and some are nearly 16mths etc,etc......apologies!

All officially toddlers now though i think (well 120's H and HKZ's J are pulling up/taking steps now I think, think mostly everyone walking of some sort!) Scary thought!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tinkhasaspringinherstep · 25/04/2010 09:08

food shopping today want to get it back to a sun

lots of clothes chat
i have 2 pairs of grey leggings and one black luv em
do live in skirts mostlt cordroy medium length ones from next comfy

booksgalore · 25/04/2010 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 16:51

Talk about fashion recycling of a sort. My DD is wearing a floral number of mine from being a child today. As I saw floral appears to be back in She does look fab!

Managed to retain zero from long thread below it seems, since my last post

Hope you're all having a lovely Sunday.

moosemama · 25/04/2010 18:03

Evening all.

Had a reall hell of a day today. Ds1 is off the scale since we upped his gluten ready for his test. He has been truly vile and I have also found out he's been telling me lies about things which is something he's never done before and really upset me. I absolutely loathe lying and find it hard to deal with. I know all children tell porkies when they think they might be in trouble, but this was pre-conceived and maintained over a week.

He's been so bad today that dh has just put him in the shower in his clothes because he refused to get undressed for his bath.

I actually had to walk out of the house to cool down earlier. Went to the shop and spent a small fortune of crappy food and have just eaten half a family sized trifle instead of my tea.

Only a hour left till they're in bed. And a week until his test.

Hope everyone else is having a better day.

Oh and have a great holiday Books!

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 18:12

((hugs)) Moose

moosemama · 25/04/2010 19:01

Thanks Tea, hugs are greatly appreciated this evening.

Just reread and noticed my appalling typing. Sorry.

The boys are in bed now, but dd is doing everything she can to stay awake and I have zero patience, so have given in and let her stay up until she starts showing signs of being tired. (I know I'll end up regretting it, but can only think short term this evening.)

She is currently watching the dogs eat their dinners from the safety of the baby gate. Its one of her favourite things to do for some reason. Dh calls it 'feeding time at the zoo' and as soon as he says that, she rushes over to the gate as fast as she can to get the best viewpoint.

I feel very sick after all that trifle - serves me right really. Euugh!

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 19:39

LOL at feeding time at the zoo.

I am a great fan of comfort eating too I completely understand the leaving DD awake until tired signs and why. I've been known to do the same. You can always give her an extra nap tomorrow? Although with only 2 children I'm a novice compared to you.

I didn't notice typos in previous post but then again I type too fast and hit "post" and then spot mistakes in my messages a lot too.

moosemama · 25/04/2010 20:02

She's asleep! Phew!

To be honest Tea, I don't feel like an experienced Mum most of the time. Everything with the boys as they get older is still new to me and with dd it all feels very different and sort of new. Its probably because she was born just under 5 years after ds2 and I'd sort of lost touch with all things 'baby' by that point. She is also a totally different kettle of fish to her brothers who were both very easy laid-back babies. (Mind you they are making up for it now!)

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 20:07

You're a great mum Moose. You pour your heart and soul into your DCs. Just remind yourself of that. It's flaming hard work with LO's at the best of times.

I have no idea what I'd do if I caught my LO's lying Wish I had some words of wisdom, as I too despise lying. I guess I'd try to draw diagrams and explain repercussions of lying and also buy the story on the boy who cried wolf or something? Also up my "praise" as one of the books I've read really rates that for improving behaviour. Who knows?

More ((hugs)) from me to you.

moosemama · 25/04/2010 20:45

We've done all the boy who cried wolf stuff and they've covered it at school as well. It was only lying about homework, but he's never lied to me before and it was a shock, especially as he first lied last Monday and then repeated it every day until I discovered via the school website what he'd done.

The main problem is that as he as suspected Aspergers, whilst he understood that I cried because he'd lied, he didn't really make the connection properly and just said, 'but it was only one lie, so I don't understand why you're so cross with me'. He also understands that crying means someone is upset and it makes him uncomfortable but he doesn't react or try to make things better so no 'sorry' without prompting or spontaneous hug. I did get 'I hope you are enjoying your treat Mummy" when I was eating my trifle and 'I hope you are having a nice evening' later on, which is him really trying. He says he doesn't want to make anyone, especially Mummy upset, but doesn't make the appropriate connections that if he does such and such a thing, then the consequence will be Mummy/someone being upset/cross and him getting into trouble.

It really is so much harder than it is with the other two. Even dd hugs me better and blows me a kiss if I get upset.

I can't wait until I can take him back off gluten, as after a couple of months gluten free his behaviour dramatically improves and he starts to be a lot more empathic, communicative and better understanding of social conventions. We have never had so many cuddles off him as we did when he was gluten free.

It makes me so sad because he is such a lovely boy, but when he gets like this it starts to feel like there is an invisible wall between us.

Sorry to be such a downer.

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 20:59

Awwww honey. I see what you mean My suggestions seem trite in the circumstances really. I'm so sorry x

moosemama · 25/04/2010 21:25

No don't ne sorry, they're not trite suggestions at all. Sometimes it really helps for someone to see it from an outside point of view, as its easy to get bogged down in it all when you are stuck in the middle of it.

moosemama · 25/04/2010 21:26

Don't BE sorry! There goes my typing again!

teaandcakeplease · 25/04/2010 22:06

I only have a cousin with Asperger's. No clue really That's why my suggestions are trite really.

I hope tomorrow is a much much better day for you x

moosemama · 25/04/2010 22:22

Thanks Tea.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I have been really grateful for your company tonight, so thank you for being there.

Off to bed now, school run in the morning - yawn.

tinkhasaspringinherstep · 26/04/2010 09:29

morning

mm - you do have a hrad time you r a great mum, being a mun is the hardest job in the world
my dd1 is plaing up @ the mo keeps shouting a crying

my mum over from 10am today till 3pm tom

moosemama · 26/04/2010 10:58

Morning Tink.

Both boys at school today so peace reigns in the Moose household - ahhh bliss.

Dd has just gone down for her nap, but is still awake so I'm just waiting for her to drop off so I can go and have a long awaited bath.

It was a bad weekend all round really, as my oldest dog took a turn for the worst on Friday and I was pretty sure this was it on Saturday. Then she suddenly picked up and went completely the other way on Sunday. She's acting like a pup again now and actually asking to go for walks and out into the garden for a tootle about, which she hasn't done for months, so I'm thinking maybe she just had a virus or something and is feeling better. I'm so relieved. I spent a couple of hours clipping her coat short at the weekend and she actually looks about 10 years younger now as well.

My younger sister might be coming to visit later as she is up from London for a couple of days. I haven't seen her since Christmas and I had to put her off yesterday, as she wanted to come right in the middle of the ds1's huge meltdown.

Sorry to hear your dd1 is playing up. They do put us through it don't they! No wonder so many Mums have the mantra "This too shall pass"!

120 · 26/04/2010 10:59

Heavens! I can't keep up! Off to read.

morning Tink

moosemama · 26/04/2010 11:15

Sorry 120, that was me filling the thread up last night. Just ignore it and skip to the end.

120 · 26/04/2010 12:07

moose, I have given up reading and haven't even got to last night (so was going to remain in ignorance but am now intrigued). Please don't apologise; that is what the thread is for! After all, it's my own lack of parenting that means the children aren't trained to give me m'net time!

I am still fretting over DD's pressie. I am now thinking a vanity case as she loves playing with all my junky student jewelery (she has never seen the real stuff). Thought then she can have it all in there for dress up. Something like this or this but they are sooo expensive! Will last though, I hope.

tinkhasaspringinherstep · 26/04/2010 13:56

120 - i would go with the super scribbler from elc it is really great or the portable keyboard my dd1 is 5.4 years and luvs them both and dd2 is into them too

hi mm glad u have peace

treedelivery · 26/04/2010 14:48

120 - those are great, what a fab idea! Timely too, we are wanting something for dd1. DD2 swipes all her treasure and wanders about with them. We have actually put drawer catch thingies on their little dressing table, on the strict understanding that when dd2 is old enought to have her treasures they go back to sharing.

Tempted by a box though, would last a life time. Good idea!

Moose . I think re: the lying thing is to think that to him the ethics of the thing will make very little sense. I don't suppose we really get a sense of these things till we are teenagers, not truly.

In a way meybe it shows his clever brain at work, he saw a way around a problem he had and took it! Obviously not the best way and a way he needs to learn is not acceptable - but he won't have seen it as a Bad thing as such, more of a vaugly naughty thing. Maybe? Rambling

But hope you are feeling better at anyrate.

We were at the forest to watch mountain biking cross county worl champs on Sunday. T'was very good, nice for girls to see some kick ass positive female role models instead of pop stars .
Thank God for our truck! Saved the day yet again, we spent zero as we brought chilli in a warm flask and lots of nbbles, and then dd2 had a sleep in it. Grand job.

Just had drains rodded and pressure hosed - £65. Pah. Had yack smells though so hopefully that will sort them. Better had!!
He put 95% hydrochloric acid down every plug hole in the place, so my green credentials have taken a nose dive. Hopefully to be replaced with fragrant smells

Lenni · 26/04/2010 17:50

Sorry, we've been struck down by a stomach bug so had a weekend of vom cleaning. Hoping to catch ip tonight. Back later.

moosemama · 26/04/2010 18:01

Dd didn't fall asleep so ended up dashing in and out of the bath while she watched cbeebies in her swing.

Its not as bad as it sounds though, as if I angle to doors just right I can see her from the bath and she fell asleep about 4 minutes after I left the room!

Tree, I think what bothered me most was that he has alway been told, no matter how bad something is, he will always get into worse trouble for lying than for telling the truth. He did however relate that very sentiment back to me last night when we woke him to go to the toilet and he has promised not to lie again.

Read up about ASD and lying today and apparently its only possible for most people with ASD to lie to people they are very close to, as they are the only people they can 'read' iyswim. If you look at it like that, I guess its a sort of backhanded compliment that he chose me to lie to.

He came out of school today and told me there was no homework again - followed by a pointed 'ask the teacher if you don't believe me'. So I did, and there wasn't so that was something. Unfortunately the teacher also told me that she really struggled with him today and he obviously struggled to cope. Apparently he had several altercations with the other SN child in his class, who he used to clash with before we took him off gluten originally, and it ended with him hitting the other boy. His teacher said its like he is not quite there and has no tolerance for anything he doesn't like or makes him uncomfortable. She said there is a palpable difference in him today and said she thinks it must be the gluten now as well, given that we have upped him from one gluten containing meal a day to three. Weirdly, its feels like a relief that someone else has noticed the connection between his gluten intake and his behaviour, as it backs us up and stops me worrying that we are deluding ourselves or using it as an excuse. The school were a bit about it when we first mentioned it to them, but they are completely behind us after seeing him like this.

He told me when we got home that he can feel himself doing/saying something that he knows is wrong, but he can't stop himself. He is finding it really distressing. I spoke to him briefly about what happened with the other boy and what he thinks he did wrong and what he thinks he should have done and left it at that. Advice from the SN board is that what happens at school stays at school as home should be kept as his safe place.

Only got to see my sister for half an hour in the end and was very to see she has lost a stack of weight and is looking stunning. (Doesn't help that she is ten years younger than me and has no children either mind you.) Still, it was nice to see her really.

Dd walked to the school with Mum and I today. She absolutely will not hold hands though, which is a bit nerve wracking. Again, totally different from her brothers, who people always used to comment on (and still do sometimes) because they always hold my hand beautifully and behave when we are near roads. She did the 500m stretch up to the crossing lady, then I carried her to the playground and she wandered around all over the place drawing a crowd at the window of one of the upper junior classrooms (boys and girls) who were all waving and saying ahh because she looked so cute. Had to pick her up and move her along before they got into trouble, then she did it all over again with them on the way back round to pick up ds1! She is now officially exhausted but has refused a nap favouring being mega-grumpy instead. Hopefully she should sleep well tonight though.

Mountain biking champs sound like fun. Did you have lovely sunshine like we did yesterday? You are certainly getting your money's worth out of your Radio Flyer, if I had any money I would be sooo tempted to buy one.

Don't worry about the acid, you have more than balanced it out over the years with all your green ways.

moosemama · 26/04/2010 18:03

Oh no Lenni, you poor thing. April just hasn't been your month. Nearly May - hang in there!