June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Sorry can't add to the fence debate.

Rainy day here so I made play dough and it kept Ethan amused for nearly 1 hour!!!

Tomorrow I take him to the orthopeadic Dr about his intoeing.

Deb, A loves Mr Tumble too!

Thank you so much for all your kind words - too tired for long post but have read and digested all your helpful suggestions.

Don't think it's the daytime nap that's the problem cos sometimes he doesn't have one, or has a shorter one and it makes no difference .

We do have to go cold turkey on the cup, but think we might do it when we move and take the hit in one go!

AH, I should have used the word impractical rather than impossible! It's a chalet style house with only two bedrooms upstairs and A is too young to be sleeping downstairs on his own and we couldn't fit three kids in one room!

The boys do have to share a room as we only have three bedrooms and the spare room is used by my mum alot! Couldn't live without her!

We do put books in his cot but have recently started leaving a nightlight on and have found him reading at 3am! Little tike .

On the subject of night lights, quick straw poll - who has them, who doesn't?

Right off to eat a cupcake (blaming AH for putting that thought into my head! ) and put my feet up.

nightlight(sensor) here by ds2 on the bottom bunk but Ethan can't see it from where he is. Door shut, lights off...and sleep!

we have a grobag egg thing, so kind of a night light and also a room thermometer. We have a no monitor, door ajar policy here.

right I need ideas fast from Mums of Boys (TM)

It's my godson's first birthday today, I need to get him a present before his party on Saturday. I have no idea what to get for a 1 year old boy who has an elder brother of 3. Ideas of things you would have appreciated? He's an active little chap, walking already and the family are quite outdoorsy.

thanks in advance x

Biscuits thinking back to S's 1st birthday here are some things that S liked/would have liked...

Pop up tunnel and/or tent
Starter brio train set (boots have a good farm one).
Boys doll & buggy
Orchard toys puzzles/wooden puzzles (JL have some nice ones)
Aquadraw
Nice shorty pj's
Clothes generally (he got soooo many toys)
Sand/water toys - try elc or JL
Backpack with parent handles - littlelife, bushbaby etc (S loves his still)
Happyland stuff

No night light here. I think I read some negative things back when I was pg, but can't remember what . I'm not especially adverse to them though but just haven't really needed one (yet).

how much do you want to spend because this has been the best purchase ever! It's Fraser's but his brother and all his friends love it too.

Otherwise, if you wanted something outdoorsy all my suggestions there cost more money...

and I'm flabergasted!!! Gordon Brown just answered my question on the webchat. (On why they ran a deficit in good years: "abdnhiker - some years we ran a surplus and repaid debt but the best policy in my view is to allow borrowing for investment, which means we were able to build schools, hospitals and our infrastructure which supports industry and jobs.")

I'm not really in agreement with his answer - as I said on the webchat - Even if infrastructure needed investment, I need a new washing machine (I have to take my woollens across the street to my very kind neighbour and I try to have her daughter over to play more often in return) but I know I need to wait another year. We need to prioritize our spending into needs (tax credits for the poorest) and wants (like CTF for middle earners like me).

Too bad I was only allowed one question and didn't get to pin him down about why childcare costs are forcing mothers out of work when he claims to support working mums...

Wow! Good for you Abdn. We have a book/article/something which addresses why, from a macro-economic point of view, it doesn't makes sense to run a country on the same budgeting lines as a household. That the whole Thatcherite concept of good housekeeping is, for a country, complete tosh. Shame I can't remember any more details than that but it looked v interesting. It was more than just a description of Keynesianism.

We haven't seen a single canvasser, election bus, anything. It's quite noticeable in comparison with other general elections. There even seem to be fewer posters, although that might evidence nothing more than that I don't get out much and need new glasses.

Night lights. We don't have 'em.

I'm not adding to the list of Boy Presents as the suggestions already given can't be bettered

Rolf I am interested in understanding why it was okay to run a deficit - although I think that theory has fallen down now when we're faced with horrible cuts and Australia and Canada (who ran surpluses before and now have smaller deficits) can continue as normal.

I have more respect for GB that he answered my question though. I will still never vote for him personally after the childcare vouchers debacle and his inability to understand that mothers like me are forced out of work (and that's all I really want, is for someone high up in Labour to speak out and admit their policies discriminate against some professional women but they can't afford to do better (Maybe I am a natural Tory though if I am okay with not getting state help when I needed it to keep my career - that attitude isn't very Labour is it?)).

Toys - Can't believe I didn't mention wow toys. These are massive hits in our house (although they can be loud when pushed around the house, which they are for hours!!!!!!) We have the recycling truck which is the most coveted by visiting boys and the fire engine.

thanks for the suggestions DGT and Abdn think I might go with some happyland then, was thinking of that anyway, so glad to see it backed up (and also 20% off at the moment - hooray!

It's funny you should say that Abdn, my friend came to see us this weekend and gave J motor boat murray which has been a big hit, I'd never heard of wow before.

It's been like Christmas in our house for the past few days after I dug out a load of toys I'd put away upstairs.

Deb - any news on the offer?

no news yet Ktpie - their agent says they are looking for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!

Fingers crossed you hear something positive about the house soon Deb Eddie when mine were going through sleeping issues I used to go in straight away to try to settle back as soon as possible. If it wakes the others to leave them I also stay in the room until they go back to sleep. We have this huge beanbag thing in J's (tiny) room and I just lie on it and snooze until he drops off. This way he goes back to sleep quickly. If I leave him he whinges forever. I understand this doesn't work for everyone, but its the easiest approach for us.

J is having 'kitchenware' for his birthday. We have a kitchen in the loft that was dd's and I've bought new saucepans/dinner set/teaset/pretend food to go with it. As he spends ages putting his toys in and out of my saucepans I'm hoping he will really like it.

Thanks Sybil - Ethan had kitchenware to go with an old cooker of the boys for Christmas and he loves it. I was wondering about the microwave from ELC as I remember the old one being good, but the reviews aren't great, apparently the door keeps falling off.

I am with Stefan - he said I had to sign his book from school when he's finished his corrections, I don't normally have to do this, turns out it's because he hasn't bothered to do any corrections since 5th March And today he's supposed to be revising for a big test tomorrow.

Also cocked up the appointment for this afternoon, the Drs isn't open today so it was either yesterday or hopefully it's tomorrow!

Hope it's tomorrow for the appointment, Deb, and hope it goes well.

Let's hope they find their pot of gold Deb

Kitchen stuff sounds fab Sybil - where did you get the teaset from? I've been keeping an eye out for one that isn\t too girly.

Abdn I was so pleased when I saw GB had answered your question. I've been disappointed that childcare hasn't been more of an issue in this election. I don't think we (labour) have done enough and I've not heard much from the other parties on it either. I was very p'd off at the childcare voucher debacle and was glad that GB saw sense (I think I asked about it during the last GB webchat). I was quite happy with the fact that everyone will only get basic rate tax relief going forward though - a good compromise imo. FWIW I don't think you sound like a natural Tory btw, just someone who cares about the struggles that you see people around you facing (not that I assume people that are natural Tories don't btw ).

Must get back to the revision...

Oh, biscuits S has the happyland airport which I didn't think looked like much but he really likes playing with it. I don't think you can go wrong with any of that stuff though. It's reminded me that I still have the big village set stashed away somewhere after being unable to resist it when it was half price. I'm going to have a bit of a clear out and reorganisation of his stuff after the exams so might get it out for him then.

Oh yes, exams, must revise...

DGT I think it's reasonable that it's just at the basic tax level because that's the part of the salary that pays for childcare - anything over £40K is more than the cost of a nanny so is not a cost of working. But I do object to it being limited to £253/month regardless of the number of kids you have. It meant that someone with one kid and two employed parents got a break worth twice mine when I had two kids and a self employed husband (not eligible). And vouchers are self-funding (i.e. from my taxes, not other people so not a drain compared with tax credits which are often more than people pay).

In my heart I do think it's actually because there are people in the Labour party, including GB, who feel that "good" (i.e. middle class) mothers are better at home. I really suspect hidden social engineering.

I agree that I'm not a natural anything too - I've never voted the same from one election to the next.

Completely agree about the limits Abdn. DH and I both get vouchers which means just about all of our childcare costs aren't paid from taxed income, and if we did have a second child I'd have to seriously think about whether it was viable to work. I wholeheartedly believe that all working parents should have access to childcare vouchers. If Labour are serious about it ALWAYS being better to work than be on benefits to look seriously at childcare costs imo and whether they enable both parents to work .

Abdn that was so exciting when GB answered your question! I asked loads of questions[naughty] and he didn't answer any personally but he did answer the one about why we have a deficit at all (global recession meant less coming in in taxes and more going out in benefits/support for the economy) but loads of people asked that so he didn't refer to me personally (I'll let him off tho). I thought much of the chat was just what we've all heard a million times before but it was good the stuff on the deficit and why Labour's decision to prop up business and home-owners meant we got out of recession quicker and will help the recovery even if it means more debt in the short-term. I will definitely be voting Labour on Thurs (Rolf made me think again when she said LDs have a better chance here and I think you could be right Rolf, but not sure so Labour it is)

Night lights - we don't have one, but if the light and the books keep A entertained and he isn't crying for you Eddie is that a bad thing? Or was that just a one-off. I don't mind when the DTs don't sleep as long as they are entertaining themselves. They are still awake now 90mins after going to bed just sat in their cots and chatting a bit.

Abdn, it's a real shame you couldn't make your job work financially, as you know I sympathise entirely, but it's funny cos Labour's policies have allowed me to stay in work (the right to request flexible working) cos even with three kids in childcare I will just about make more than childcare costs because I have been able to change my hours to start at 2pm. Some jobs are just not conducive to that tho (or employers are not receptive). When F is 3 he will be eligible for 15hrs free childcare a week (if it' not cut by the next govt) and your older DC will be in school so will it be possible for you to return to work then? I think the childcare vouchers (salary sacrifice ones) are great and without them I would probably quit work too. Altho I agree with what you say about the limits, we only get one lot too as DH is self-employed. What policies do you think the Tories might propose that will mean you can return to work? Genuine question cos I see the problem as being that 'normal' wages are just not high enough to pay for two kids in nursery. I have the same problem as I am on £30k pro-rata (above national ave) and two kids in nursery would have wiped out nearly all that (my CM is a lot cheaper). So if a person on so much above national ave can't afford nursery fees what hope is there for lots of others. Cheaper childcare provision would help as nurseries are so expensive, and the govt maybe should have looked at extending free provision for younger children (well it did but they tried to pay for it the wrong way!), but even that has been unpopular because some argue that it is better for under 3s to be looked after by their own parents. I am not sure I agree about social engineering at work cos I think Labour would like as many people in work as possible. I don't think there is an anti-middle-class mums agenda, it's just a very complex situation. Sorry that was all a bit garbled!

Re: childcare vouchers I am shamefully uninformed about the whole thing as I always knew that going back to my old job wasn't an option for me (for practical rather than financial reasons)

Eddie sorry to hear that you are so tired. I think that sleep deprivation is such a vile thing. There have been a couple of times with P when I have started to think that I have depression, but then getting a few days of much better sleep has totally improved my frame of mind. The effects of sleep deprivation should not be under estimated. With that in mind, I would be inclined to tackle A's issues now rather than waiting till you have moved. Am I right in thinking that you aren't moving till mid July now ? It's a long time to go on like this. There isn't much you can do about M's sleep for now as you are waiting on the hospital appointment. Is there really no option of putting M in the third bedroom for a couple of weeks when your Mum isn't visiting, so that you can try to get A sleeping better? Sorry if this comes across as being bossy. It's not meant to, I just know how soul destroying no sleep can be, and for us, how dramatically 3 tough nights can imrpove things thereafter.

DGT how is the revision going? I am always in awe of those of you who are studying, doing it when you are shattered must me so hard.

We had a quiet Bank Holiday. We visited a car supermarket on the wettest day as I we think we may need a bigger car with two little people to fit in the back. Currently we have an Astra. DH has a bit of an allergy to people carriers and 4x4s, so it looks like an estate will suit us better. Any thoughts or recommendations? I am mindful that Rolf didn't have a car that the whole family could fit in until fairly recently, so perhaps I am being a bit silly thinking we need something bigger at all?

sybil, thank you for that tip . We have done that some nights and it does seem to work, although our floor boards are so creaky that sometimes, as you go to slip out, the noise wakes him back up again .

Last night we tried without the night light and he woke in the night and screamed as if he was being murdered , so dh put a muslin over the light to soften it and make it less bright (so he doesn't wake up too early!) and it seemed to work. Hard to tell though cos last night M woke up three times and did such explosive poos each time that he required a full clean up and change of clothes!

Neenz, would never go in unless A was crying - more than happy for quiet chatting/loud chatting/any chatting as long as we can sleeeeeeep !

Toys - we have HappyLand and A loves it. We also have the Wow fire engine - won in an NCT national raffle .

Rolf, wrt to you seeing hardly any election stuff, do you live in a safe constituency? Cos of our stupid first past the post electoral system elections can be won and lost in a few marginals and I get the impression parties throw all their resources at these seats and largely ignore the rest. But someone could correct me on that!

Tried to follow the GB chat but didn't notice you got a question answered AH, how cool?

Oh, and whoever asked about the weaning - it's going really really badly! We've had to move M to follow on milk cos HV is concerned that he's eating so little solids that he'll miss out on essential nutrients. If he's not hungry enough he won't eat anything (seals his mouth), if he's too hungry he gets hysterical and will only be calmed with milk. Trying to get the timing right with A to consider is tricky to say the least! If I try and feed them at the same time, A throws his food on the floor for attention .

Hats off to all those of you who did spoon feeding, BLW was soooo much easier!

The revision is going terribly sybil, thanks for asking. well to be fair it's not the revision that's the problem, more the lack of work in the last 6 months. Have pretty much decided to defer one of my exams (AGAIN!) which means I'll be done by tomorrow. Which also means I can get out on the doorstep for the election on Thursday though .

Sorry the weaning isn't going well Eddie. Are you spoonfeeding M then? tbh, I didn't find spoon feeding difficult at all - S was on finger foods within weeks anyway. I really think it depends on the child. Can you involve A in feeding M at all (imagines chaos and destruction so perhaps not the best idea). On the sleeping, can you bring M back into your room for a bit until you get A sorted (probably another bad idea...).

x-posted spider! Yes, sleep deprivation is hell and I know you've suffered more than most with P being such a bad sleeper (I'm keeping everything crossed for you that No 2 is a dream ).

We have toyed with the idea of moving M out but worry that might mess things up even more now - A seems to get comfort from M being there at certain times (esp the mornings) and we worry he would be even more upset if we moved him out.

Their wakings really don't seem to be connected as A's sleep had been getting progressively worse long before we moved them in together, although I suspect that us moving around in the night to get feeds etc for M have unsettled A since October. If only I'd been able to bf M .

This is why we think the real key will be getting M sleeping through, but seems such a long long way away. As someone said yesterday, it's the fact that there seems no end in sight that's so hard.

Anyway, have taken on board a lot of comments on here and will keep trying. I think we could be in danger of changing too many things at once though if we're not careful and the boys won't know if they're coming or going!

As for cars we used to have a Vauxhall Astra Estate and loved it. I have a bit of a thing about Vauxhalls - bloody reliable and lovely to drive IME. Only sold it to buy the zafira and only did that cos we thought at that point we'd be having at least three kids so needed to 'future proof' the car .