January 2009 - New year, new buns in various ovens and time for our not so little ones to turn one!

[SherryMerryLennipillar]

Happy 2010 everyone! Cast your mind back to this time last year... [soppy]

Too much wine - excuse for thread title should it be shite rubbish when I read it tomorrow. Thought it was time to wave goodbye to the festive one, although perhaps we should have waited for epiphany?

Gosh yes your ankle too. Blimey mrs. Glad it's all better.
I love pot bellies too. Yet to see one on a child of mine but I live in hope .
Hav eyou thought of a different provider for dd? WOuld she settle in a different atmosphere? More play based/less play based?

That is a laod of work Moose, for all of you .

Just gave H her sedative. She was asleep at 6, then woke at 6.45. She was asleep about 8.30, then moved as soon as dh tried to put her down.

She has just had a hissie fit because I put her down. SHe has cheered up following nurofen and her stuff and is playing with the laundry pile.

x-posted with you Pat - hope Z is better soon. Know how you feel about the bf/ABs thing - I was fed up when DS had to have an inhaler after he had swine flu as felt like I had bf him so long and he was still ill, but like you say not set in stone. I think the ear infection thing is to do with their jaw action when feeding so imagine the preventative benefits would decrease as they feed less anyway - although Z is a milk monster lately isn't he!!

DD was a brilliant eater until about age er...3. They get so fussy and start to use food as a weapon I've noticed. I try to totally ignore any food related nonsense and refuse to give her anything other than family meals and healthy snacks - some days it works just fine, other days it is a total screaming, tantruming failure. But hey ho, such is life with a 3yo!

Z, N and D can be the thread bouncers Pat! DS wore DD's 2-3yo pjs yesterday and they didn't swamp him. He's in mostly 1.5-2yo things now, grown out of all my lovely 12-18mo stuff. Yay! Baby clothes shopping!

x-posted with everyone.

I'm considering nursery Tree - I've made enquiries at the place where DS is and they have room. I think I need to give her more time though. If it is just the separation that is stressing her out then I don't think somewhere else would neccessarily be easier.

H is a toughie bless her - no way I could stay awake after a dose of piriton!

at Stripey and the cruising!

WOW- H is hardcore!! She is seriously feisty

LOL at cruising

I love the idea of D, Z and N dressed up as bouncers, cannot believe he wore 2-3 jamas. Z wears some 18-24mths but most 12-18 still ok. 26lbs sounds more than Z though, but D is a fair bit taller.
Yep, DD attempts the food as a weapon thing and gets no joy out of me either.
I do like the idea of Z feeding less............................one day!

Speaking wise, we now have a very insistent 'Nnnn' 'Nnnnn' 'Nnnnn' when pointing at stuff, I do hope he is not trying to say my name!

I think I x-posted with everyone too.

Now I have no idea wher I am , so I'll just agree with everyone here

H is asleep again on my chest. Can't complain really.
Hope the headache improves Books, and that you get a quiet evening Moosey.

Will I never learn. Do Not Put The Child DOwn.

Start again......

I'm hungry.

Must go, not getting much work done.

Gosh its busy on here this evening. I have completely lost the plot my place.

Tree, school breaks up at 3.10 for ds2 and 3.15 for ds1, we are usually home at 3.30 after sending ds1 back into his class on average 3 times to fetch all the things he's forgotten, despite my writing loads of reminders in his diary, sticking sticky notes everywhere in his bag and his teacher reminding him as well. The daily routine is

1. Boys through the door, shoes and coats off, shoes in the basket, coats on the peg while I get dd out of the pushchair, fold it up and stow it behind the front door.

1. Boys straight upstairs and out of uniforms (usually involving at least one fight, lots of tears, plenty of mess and me having to go and shout / adjudicate jolly them along more than once.

1. Boys excavate any letters or notices and/or party invitations from book bags and we go through them together.

1. Everyone into kitchen. I ply dd with snacks and a variety of kitchen implement to keep her quiet occupied - boys have a drink and snack the nip to the toilet.

1. Next spellings are done in Mummy quiz form with me asking them a spelling each alternately, whilst trying to think of clever word associations to spark their memories during their class quizzes. If they get full marks I draw them a different silly smiley face each day

1. Then ds2 reads his books to me while ds1 reads through what he needs to do for either literacy, numeracy or any other homework and shouts over ds2's reading that he doesn't understand any of it and it isn't fair etc etc etc

1. Ds2 used to sit and draw or colour in while I helped ds1 with his homework ( I have to do full on one-to-one supervision with him and it's a really tough challenge as he has real problems with distraction/concentration and BIG attitude handwriting/presentation issues, I find it really stressful and it always seems to take hours and involve tears at some point. )

1. Once all homework is done they choose and add a sticker each to their reward charts, plus any extra stickers earned for good behaviour, then I fill in homework and reading diaries and write all the reminders and notes for ds1 in his diary for the next day. Finally the boys put everything they need for the next day in their bags with me supervising and they are allowed free play (usually involving ds1 going on the nintendo for half an hour while his ds2 watches and winds him up offers helpful observations and assistance. Its usually at least 5.00 pm or 5.30 pm by now and time for me to make the tea.

We have a strict no homework on Fridays policy and ds1 doesn't do any homework on top of his spellings on Wednesdays as he goes to chess club.

It is horrible, horrible, horrible and I really resent how it steals their childhood away from them and leaves them little time for play and relaxation.

Tree, dd is up and screaming again as well. I am not holding out much hope of sleep tonight.

Holy crap Moose. I'd have been commited long long ago.

Its not as bad as it sounds, honest. Most days it works really well and without the routine it would be bedlam, particularly as ds1 needs to know what's coming next if we are going to avoid meltdowns. It just falls down if I'm not well or ds1 is particularly difficult. Tonight it was dd that threw the spanner in the works - but that's a first.

Ds1's Scooby Doo party has been amended to a Spy/Agents party after we had a chat about some of the boys teasing him for watching Scooby Doo recently. Apparently they said Scooby Doo is for babies.

Ds2 is going to one of these science parties in a couple of weeks. Sounds quite good, but I notice there's no prices on the website.

I bet it works brilliantly, it just requires a shed load of input from you. I'd find it exhausting.

Ours goes

3.30 - in, coats and shoes dumped filed appropriately. Curse dh for still not building the storage facility to answer all coats/wellies/boots/shoes/bag storage problems.

3.45 - drink and quick snack for dd who is generally already engrossed in some small toy. Put H down, pick her up again.

4.15-4.30 - begin making dinner. H in highchair with juice. CHats to dd, and ask her to try for a poo

4.45 - dinner cooked. dd1 Eats at table, H refuses all food, I have a nibble of whatever is left from cooking.

5.00 - linger, examine bookbag, release H,

frredom! crafts, listen to story CD like Charlie&Lola, tv, toys

5.46 - dh home. Ignore his needs and throw hand H over.
Do reading etc with dd1

6.15ish - dh takes dd1 for pj's, I begin changing H for bed. We all head upstairs

6.30-6.45 I'm parked in bed with H and give her a bottle and let her settle on me
DD is in bed and having a story [wind in the willows at the mo]

7.00-7.15 sleep. Until I put H down then she's up again

You are very hardworking Moosey.

Gosh, so many posts. At work but all the inmates are watching a movie so have had a bit of a chance to catch up.

at N, Z and D being bouncers! N would make a great bouncer especially if wearing one of his asda wife-beater vests . I have no idea how much N weighs now, but he is seriously chunky and very yummy.

Sorry to hear of screaming babies tree, stripey and moose. Hope they are all fast asleep now?

Pat love those pics of Z in the snow, he just looks so serious! What a cutie. Shame about the ear infection - hope he gets better. I have noticed N picks up every infection going now that I am not going to every playdate or play group he goes too. Still feeding here - it's a whole new ball game at this age, don't you find? I was blow drying my hair the other day, sitting on the floor half-naked, when he suddenly walked over and latched on! not sure I could give up now even if I wanted to

tree loving the poncho! I can only carry N on my back now, he is way too heavy for the front.

moose your schedule looks crippling. I am seriously thinking of steiner school where they don't even start to teach them numeracy & literacy until they are 6. I would have to sign up now I think... only problem is the school is an hour's drive away. I might do mum and babies there twice a week or something and see what we think.... wish we lived closer to one. Our village school is tiny and just lovely, but it's still a school with high windows so the kids can't see out and plus it is a church of wales school so a little bit religious (no offence to anyone of faith) for my taste... Anyway, a long way off....

Lenni poor you and DD having to deal with that anxiety every morning . Maybe if you stopped for a few months, she would just move on in her own time? I know you are planning to go back to work soon though. How about a childminder that would come to your house? I am sure it's just a stage that she will pass through.

ray great that you are back at the gym and that E loves the creche! I must do the same one of these days...

Anyway, this is my last shift . Will be massive culture shock all over again to return to my little corner of the sheep field. I have to say, it's been mostly a great experience all round. Hope I can do it again one day before I get knocked up again .

Sorry for crazily long post and waves to anyone I've missed out...

tree amazed that DD lasts for 45 mins in highchair! N will do about 3 .

Really? I don't feel hardworking. I feel hopeless and disorganised.

To be fair, I have only done the breakfasts and school run a few time since having dd, so I only get it at one end of the day. In the mornings I just sort of usher, rush, remind and remind and remind (ds1), check teeth and faces, brush hair, make the lunches and snacks and hand bags/instruments/pe kits/lunchboxes to relevant beings as they exit the front door.

I also get very little done between 9.00 am and 3.00 pm as those hours seem to just disappear in the blink of an eye. I keep vowing to do better and then failing miserably.

Dd is still up being manic and demanding. Has had milk and calpol and is currently swinging between beating me up and trying to hurl herself off the sofa headfirst.

I want to sleeeep!

Helloooo MissJ!

SHe will stay in happily as long as she has her entertainments. Me sat next to her, a balloon, maybe my phone, her juice, some olives, some music to sway too, plenty to throw, the cat jumping up on the table and getting batted down again - she loves all that

Hate hate hate the idea of school where you can't look out. i honestly don't know if I could send dd anywhee she was in that situation.
is there any transport offered with the Steiner?

Can't believe it's all over MissJ.

Now you see a school with no windows would suit ds1 down to the ground. His school has huge windows and he is chronically distractable and a real window gazer. He never fails to spot me when I try to sneak walk past on my way to collect ds2 and he sits with his back to the window on the other side of the classroom.

Miss J, our school is C of E and getting more and more devout by the week. Dh and I don't like it, but all the schools around here are oversubscribed and every single one is either C of E or Roman Catholic anyway. I went to seriously religious schools as a child and am not religious now (although I do still love a good hymn ).

I wish the UK had the same policy as a lot of the European/Scandinavian countries. My friend has just moved back to Germany specifically because she didn't want her little boy to start school so young. He is 4 now and won't start school until he is 6.

Now I come to think of it, dd's classroom windows are in fact the size of postage stamps. New build in the 90's.

I spent many a happy day gazing out of my primary school window. They were nearly floor to ceiling and looked out on cherry blossom trees and a small field. Like they should

Tree, your school sounds like mine. Ah happy memories - I loved my primary school.

Right, I give up. She has now had, milk, calpol, chammomila and cuddles of both dh and me and she's still fighting and yelling.

Wouldn't be at all surprised if that other canine tooth is in evidence tomorrow morning.

I am now getting told off for not taking her upstairs (where I am 100% sure she will continue to fight and yell) so I'd better do as I'm told and sign off.

I think they built them that way at a certain time - 50's maybe? I went to a lovely little village school but with the same high windows. Just depressing, however much art is on the walls. No transport with steiner as it's all private... other option is to homeschool until 6 or 7, then send him to the village school. Anyway... love the sound of H chillin in her chair; N is just soooo 'physical' - can't sit still.

moose I know, I don't think a little bit of religion hurts - I am all for a good story with a nice message, and love hymns . You are waaaay too hard on yourself - you have 3 gorgeous kids and a DH and dogs to look after and somehow you keep it all going AND get the homework done!

busy busy

mm - does sound like u had a stressful day yest hope today goes better there must be something in the air [hmmm]

dd1 was awful after school yesterday wouldnt stop crying and moaning
your boys do get alot of homework !!!
dd1 brings hope a book ewveryday which i think is alot and has word books to practice guess she is only in reception class

tree - dd1 has always needed 24/7 attention not much fun!! computer keeps her busy byherself and playdoh thats about it

hi to veryone else

having quiet day here very glad it is fri

have bought dd1 dont put ketchup on your cornflakes from amazon and playdoh swirl icecream shop from ebay

are routines go

morning :-

7:10am - i have a shower
7:30am - get dd1 dressed a big struggle,hair done,teeth done (dh doesh er brekky while i am in the shower)
then give bracken her milk,then brekky then i have mine

afternoon after school

3:20pm - get home - shoes off, coat off bits down
then get out of uniform - a big struggle again lots of crying etc!!
then she has a drionk and somthing to eat then gopes on the computer

tea @ 5pm

I apologise in advance for the following rant - I just need to vent and let this out somewhere before I implode/explode.

Well dh has come back from his course a proper a*se. He made it plain that he won't be taking the boys to school anymore and said two days should have been enough time for me to 'regain control' - wtf. In his warped little mind I have had two days to "reassert my authority over the household" in his absence and his help should no longer be required! The reality was more like I just about held onto my sanity through sleep deprivation, school tribulations and a screaming, coldy teething baby.

This morning he got himself up and made as much noise as possible to make sure dd woke up as well, so that I wouldn't have an excuse not to feed her and get up straight away. Then he didn't save some of ds2's porridge for dd like he usually does (in fact he didn't make the boys porridge either, instead he bunged some of his muesli in a bowl for ds2 and gave ds1 gluten free puffs which he hates) and finally he decided to iron himself a shirt in the doorway between the living room and kitchen so that no-one could get in or out of the rooms.

I am ashamed to say I got really angry, but ended up shouting at ds2 instead of dh. I did apologise to him and explain that it was Daddy I was cross with not him (although he was being a proper pita and having an "I can't" whiney morning as well). So at least ds2 and I had a hug and made up.

Then, just was we all had shoes, coats and snowsuits on dh says, I'll take the boys in an exasperated tone! To which I asked what precisely would be the point in that seeing as we were all now ready to go out by the front door.

So the upshot is, he didn't leave any earlier, won't get to work any earlier and will come home at his usual time despite being as much use as a chocolate teapot this morning and quietly asserting his "not my problem attitude".

Thinking about it, it all started when he got back last night, when despite my being desperately in need of a bath and relax, he decided he would have 2 meals (he came home just as I was serving up, so I served him some too, despite already putting jacket potatoes in for him) then have a nice long shower. Thus leaving me to deal with a screaming, fractious dd - again, before basically telling me I had to go to bed.

I really don't know what has got into him. He is being a complete a*se. Actually, I do think I know what's got into him. A midlife crisis, fuelled by a crush on a younger, posher, cleverer boss's daughter who pays him a lot of attention at work (she is based at the offices he went to for this weeks course) and will be there looking glamorous at next weekends black tie do (which of course his wife won't be at). He knows just how to make me feel like a scruffy, fat, lazy useless housewife.

Why is it that no matter how hard I try to fight my way out of depression, something always have to come and smack me in the guts and drag me back down again.

oh mm - poor you

sounds like dh is beong a complete arese

it is so hard when you are feeling down which i have felt lots of time i am on my 3rd lot of ads!!

i am so sorry for the way you are feeling it doesnt take much for me to feel down again i have soffered from depression before it is mainly anxiety that i am feeling at the mo

i would take is behaviour literally when you are feeling down already when they start being awful with you i always fee like what dh is saying is literally and he is just airing and saying what he is feeling at the time and doesnt necceasarliy mean what he is sayoing sounds lie he is very stressed!! i am sure he will talk later and you will sort it out!!

does he understand how u r feeling and what u r dealing with and what u find hard to deal with

my dh was getting like that alot i sat down with him and explained how i was feeling and nw we rae getting on much better

it is definetly worth you going to the drs and getting ads
they have felt me alot
i am here if u need to chat

Thank you Tink. You really didn't have to read all my ranting, but its nice to feel like there's someone out there who cares this morning.

I'm still hivering and hovering about the AD's I was doing so well, but I feel like dh being such a pig might be too much for me to cope with on my own. Its so unlike him. He is worried about work, but I also think he's just decided that home life is just too hard and he wants to just go to work and come home and leave the rest to me. This would be fine if that's the way we had always done things and had agreed it was the way we wanted our family to be, but its not. We always agreed that he wanted to be actively involved in the running of the home and family and with three children and three dogs its a necessity for both of us to be involved to be honest.

I feel a bit like he's gone "Right woman, dd is one year old now - time to pull yourself together!" only he hasn't actually got the guts to say it to my face, so he's just being an a*se to get his point across instead. The old 'grass is greener' thing with the glamorous girly at work is just compounding the situation.