Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

DS had his 8 week vaccination today. I knew what to expect but it didn't make it any easier. Poor thing is all out of sorts this afternoon. He is making lots of little noises in his sleep that aren't the usual sounds. Poor little thing. I hope the night ahead isn't too bad, I have the paracetamol at the ready.

Scarlotti Hope your night isn't too bad with the feeding. I'm hoping for a bit more sleep myself!

Good morning all! I hope you've all had a reasonable night's sleep. Everone seems to be ill here - both DSs have just been calpoled. I don't quite know what's wrong with them, just not well. Toby's fine - already having a nap.

Fruit I hope your DS had a good night.

BBL Hope your DS's get better soon.

Not a bad night here. A couple of feeds and then back off to sleep. He's a little grouchy but giving me some lovely smiles - they melt my heart . We're off to the dentist this morning to get mine and DS1 teeth checked. DS1 refused to get his teeth examined last time, so I'm hoping for a better outcome today.

fruit I hope DS was ok in the night and feeling brighter today.

sass It's so hard in the early days isn't it? I'm a few days ahead of you, and it's definitely got easier in the last 2/3 days. Last week I told myself I could not consider giving up until this Friday (when James will be 4 weeks) and now I am confident that I won't give up then. I partly did it because I knew with DD things had got by better then and I didn't actually want to give up, but also because it felt easier to take things one day at a time. I agree it's great if you can get DH on side, but if you can't you still have to go with what you feel is right. I think mothers are perhaps more instinctive in their parenting than fathers. I also read that the baby's cry is actually designed to pull at its mother's heart strings in a way that it doesn't effect anyone else ie. DH may be able to detach himself from it more easily than you. You can't spoil a baby at this age. Do what you feel is right. You are doing brilliantly to have BF this far and I honestly believe by this time next week you will have turned a corner.

All that said, if you do want to give up BF then don't feel bad about it. Like raggie says it is really sad how us mums beat ourselves up about these things. We are all doing our absolute best by these little ones and should be proud of ourselves, not constantly worrying whether we are up to scratch.

Another baby who doesn't like to be put down here. DD wasn't like this, so we're finding it quite strange and hard work. He isn't too bad in the daytime (or maybe I just don't mind so much that he wakes when I put him down) but at night it's really tiring. Maybe it's a boy thing? I remember my aunt saying she had to take my (male) cousin everywhere with her, even to the toilet, as he screamed the place down if she left him for a second.

Is anyone else finding it hard to cope with, um, normal people? We had friends up for the day yesterday, then all of us went to meet some more friends for lunch in town. I just felt really strange, I kind of went in on myself and really quiet. Keeping up the conversation felt like an effort rather than nice and the pub we went to seemed really noisy! None of them have kids, so I suppose I was feeling like all their lives are carrying on as normal while mine feels all over the place at the moment. I told them I'd been finding feeding really hard and it obviously didn't register with them that I meant really hard. James slept the whole time and everyone kept saying how easy he was, which sort of annoyed me. But these are my best friends, it upset me that it was actually a bit stressful in their company.

Forgot to say, it was our first wedding anniversary yesterday and DH and I both forgot to get each other anything, even a card! Then we tried to have a nice night watching a film, but James was feeding pretty much constantly and as soon as he stopped I fell asleep. Rubbish!

Fruit glad your night was better and hope he's over his jabs soon. We have the first set in 2 weeks time as the clinic next week was full. Am with you in that I know what's coming but fully expect it to be tough to do.

Sass hope you had a better night, will echo everyone else in that it will get easier. DS2 is now 7 weeks old and it really is a breeze now. He feeds so efficiently it takes about 15 mins for a good feed and the feeling of knowing I've fed him to the size he is is just amazing.
This time around, I just accepted that I would stay nearer to home for the first wee while and that helped. With DS1 I was trying to do too much, getting out and about and back into normal routine and we fell at the bf hurdle at about 4 weeks. I don't think I'd given us both enough time to get it right, and then it was far more stressful when we were out.
My DH is the same in that yesterday I had the 'why don't you just let him cry and we'll turn up the tv' and this is his 2nd and my 3rd! We are tuned into their cries, they match our brain wave patterns apparently so that you are forced to want to stop it. Natures way, so just go with it and try and ignore your DH. If he would take it on board then you could explain that to him. Lots of DH's though struggle for the first few months until they start to see the personality emerge.

Laugs know exactly what you mean. I seek out quiet places now and too many people at one is too much! It's been easier for the last week or two so you're almost out of it. When I was xmas shopping in Boots, I got into the lift next to another lady (4 month old baby) and when the lift door shut I sighed with relief at the peacce and quiet. She said that was what she was thinking too!! So it's not just us!
Try not to go down the path of thinking it's either permanent or to do with your friends and how you feel about them. It's purely down to tiredness and stimulation overload. You are focussed on your baby and running on half a tank, so your brain can't cope with too much stimulation.
Think of it as a way of experiencing what the babies get when they get tired. Easy to see then why they cry so much and want somewhere nice and quiet to drop off!!

Had a great night last night, he didn't wake until 5:15! Managed to feed him lying down too and he went back to bed no problem after to even then got another hour or so sleep. Feel lots better.
Not getting my hopes up though, last time he did this the following night he was up 3 times!!

We're painting the DS' room today - moving DS1 into the bigger room and then DS2 will join him once he's going through and leaves our room. I suspect I'll be on baby duty and just have to watch the painting .. shame as I quite like doing it!

Just bookmarking, don't really have time to read or write! Hopefully everybody had a nice christmas!

Oh Laugs. Happy Anniversary for yesterday

I know what you mean about 'normal' people. I just haven't got the energy for other people either.

I'm starting to get really fed up with the state of this house. We have five bags of wrapping paper etc that DH needs to take to the tip... we have some friends coming over today (a friend whose house is immaculate). There are toys everywhere. Pine needles.

Thanks scarlotti and BBL - it's nice to know I'm not the only one! Our friends who came yesterday are immaculate too and I normally make a big effort to tidy up, but I just decided this time they can take us as we come. I used to live with the girl at uni, so she knows I am naturally a bit of a mess! I am getting sick of the state of our flat too, but not enough to do anything about it.

Has anyone got any new year's resolutions?

Another one living in squalor and starting to get fed up of it all too here! Had a bit of a stoppy hormonal outburst about it yesterday so things have started to be sorted. DH's batchelor pad (a.k.a. the spare room!) looked like student digs. He saw me getting upset though and then started tidying things up. Today it's being painted ready for the DS' to move in there (Ds2 might wait a while though obviously!) and then I can start sorting out stuff.
Am stragenly excited at the thought of being able to sort through all the cupboards of stored stuff and sort it out - is that sad?!

Going to tackle the lounge diner in a minute as we have family down this afternoon and it looks like a bombsite ... now if I can just convince DS2 to not want my boob ...!

New Years resolutions - think it will be to go easy on myself and take more care of myself. Hoping to get the house sorted out too so it's easier to keep tidy, but that's a recurrent one every year so less likely to happen!!

Laugs ime, immaculate house friends either don't have kids or don't have newborns and are SAHM who's children spend some time at school/daycare and so have the time to clean.
Others have cleaners - that's how I cope when I'm working full time

Morning all. Oh, thank you all so much for the encouragement. Hearing that, having done three weeks, things get better at four and five and seven weeks, I think I will try to carry on. I'll reassess at four weeks.

Our night was better last night. He was very sleepy - slept from 12:30 - 3:00 when I had to wake him as it had been 4 hours since a feed. Barely fed at all then slept again, no matter what I did, so he did a bit of cluster feeding for the rest of the night, but I must have managed 3 hours of sleep in there. Felt much more positive this morning. One day at a time!

One of you was having trouble with settling your wee one in a moses basket as we were/are. We have started putting a hot water bottle in there in between night feeds so it's cosier. This level of pfaffage is made possible because my parents are here to mn the kettle but it does seem to help a bit. We've also rolled up cellular blankets and made a little nest for him so it's not so big. Perhaps some of those tricks will help you if you haven't already tried them.

I'm going to a breastfeeding cafe tomorrow for some assistance and I think I'll call someone from the La Leche League today. I've called before and they've been brilliant.

Only managed to express 40 mls again this AM but even that helps make me feel like I have more to offer him to make sure he's full.

And.... STILL NO NAME!!! Must focus on that. Poor tyke.

laugs - yesterday was our anniversary too! Second one. We completely forgot, my mum had to remind us... Happy anniversary to you!

sass glad to hear you're still hanging in there. Small steps is the key - aim for 4 weeks, then 4.5 etc. Go and get him weighed regularly too, the increase on the scales will give you added pride and motivation to continue.
Re hot water bottle - great idea. Another is to use grobags, which can be used from 7lbs so we've used them from day 1. Baby never actually gets cold then, as the warm grobag goes between them and the mattress. Might be worth thinking about when your hot water bottle helpers head home
Also, I was told at hospital to only wake him for the first 2 weeks to get things established. If he's now 3 weeks+ I'd be tempted to let him sleep during the night if he wants. If he's hungry he'll wake, and then he'll also take a really good feed. You could wake him in the day if you're worried he's going too long between feeds.
Be grateful he's obviously got day and night the right way around!!

Hey, hope all had a great christmas. I am finally back in the land of the modern world, after a period of abstinence.

All I can say is. It Is Over. Phew. The kids, loud, wild, hard work. The Adults. Worse. It was an experience. I am pleased to be home!

My children were christened on Sunday, was a lovely, short, simple service, the kids were well behaved apart from Reuben who cried all the way through apart from when he his head was wet with the holy water, then he shut up, but a christening would not be a christening without a crying newborn would it . Isabella Grace and Reuben Alexander are their official christian names.

I shall go catch up on some posts while I feed the hungry boy.

Congratulations on the christenings, Pavlov - I love going to those services (unlike weddings, where I'm always privately estimating their chances!)

I pumped out a bottle for the baby, ditched both children on my poor siblings, and DH and I both escaped for a long, wet walk across the paddocks around here, finishing up at the pub. It was BRILLIANT. We then rolled gently home (so I had to pump and dump) but never mind...

Laugs,Becky and Sass sounds like you could all do with a big cuddle so a virtual one is on it's way from Alfie and I x

Scarlotti my DH has a batchelor pad too! His 'study' ie the spare room. It is a total tip. Before Toby was born I'd clear up after him every morning before I got everyone off to school - take mugs and bowls out, pick up dirty clothes, straighten desk, etc. But since Toby I haven't bothered and it now looks just like a teenager's bedroom. He did start tidying in there yesterday, which was lovely, except that he stopped half way and now it looks worse!

We had a nice day with our visitors. The friend who came is due Feb 12th for her second so she was asking about how to cope with older siblings (she has a five year old daughter).

laugs and sass, happy anniversaries!

pavlov all the best to the children on their christening. Welcome back, glad you survived.

tamlin your gay sounds lovely! It doesn't seem possible to me at the moment that we'll ever get there.

scarlotti you reminded me of how mean it sounded when my fil (whom i normally love dearly) said that children didn't become real people until they're about 2 - he was talking about his sons. I look at Lucy and she seems a perfectly real little person to me! Blokes must see it differently.

tamlin, your day even...

skorpion my fil has said similar, I think thats because they can play more with them, 'rough and tumble' my fil calls it. fil doesnt know where to start with a baby. apparently he was the same when dh and bil were babies.

Apparently my dad didn't do anything, hold any of us never mind change a nappy, until we were about five!

makes me feel glad for what dh does do.

Me too. DH is a star really. We're very lucky being born in this generation I think. My dad didn't do anything but then that was more-or-less the norm then. I have a brilliant photo of my dad holding DS1 when he was born and he looks stiff as a post. So funny. He was great though once we were school age. He'd take us all to town on a Saturday to spend our pocket money in Smiths and on a good day he'd take us to visit an electric substation! (He worked for the MEB.)

Same here re the dh's. My Dad did practically nothing when I was small. DH has finished the boys' bedroom paint wise so just a few finishing off bits tomorrow and we can start to sort the furniture

Had lovely day with Dad and step mum, got a foot spa for a present which I asked for - bliss, can now treat my feet without spending money at a beauty salon.
Had a glass of wine with dinner, anyone know how long it takes to get out of your system or how much goes through to your milk?

Tamlin hooray on your day and your trip to the pub

Merry Christmas to you all - we've survived!!

It's so funny reading your xmas stories. Our was a bit flat actually. DD1 had a fab time opening pressies and then we had that horrendous couple of hours where you need to get everyone showered, dressed, overnight bags packed and out of the house to IL's whilst DD2 wants fed constantly. Then at IL's DH's uncle, his wife and her mother were visiting for a week and MIL was obviously struggling with the mother, the uncle was decidedly off colour and the rest of us were struggling to include them in the child-focussed atmosphere. All most weird and ultimately sedate.

sass and skorpion well done for continuing to persevere with BF. The weighing thing and the focus on 'how much LO is getting' can be demoralising, especially 1st time around. Looking back, I think I definitely had supply issues with DD1: I didn't feel a let down until 6 weeks when it all suddenly and magically fell into place. Until then I was feeding, topping up and expressing, but it was exhausting and even one loving comment from DH along the lines of 'are you sure this is best for both of you' would set me in a tailspin of self-doubt, guilt and apparent lack of support. With hindsight it's easy to see that DD would have been fine without the rigmarole (albeit gaining weight more slowly than HV would have liked) and I needn't have dwelt on things. But that is the nature of the Mother beast.

Now I still have a baby that needs feeding constantly because of sore tummies, but have the opposite problem of great supply and her piling on the pounds. I lost it for the first time (my, what a different experience DD2 is!) the other night after her comfort feeding/sucking from 6pm until 1:30am and not settling enough to sleep. I dissolved in tears, couldn't stand her on the breast which is currently the only means to get her to sleep, and sent poor DH downstairs with her. It took him over an hour to get her to sleep. I feel so guilty because he is always up early with DD1 whilst I lie in 'till 9 or so. But then I remember that he is free to get off the sofa of an evening and have an early night should he choose - not that he does!

Other than that episode I try to remind myself during constant feeding periods that we are these LO's worlds and they need all the nutrition, warmth, comfort and safety we can provide at the moment and they can't be spoiled under a year old. It's part of the mummy package, so rest up and cuddle up. Not sure how this'll go once DH goes back to work

erika I'm also dairy-free this week as a trial, since Isla's tummy gives her so much pain and her nappies are still mucousy. Are you doing it under HV advice? It's really important to get a calcium supplement, especially at your age, because Bryn will leach your bones otherwise! I had a major relapse today though - family do where no-one knew I'd gone dairy free so things were cooked in butter, etc. I just thought sod it, if I can't avoid it I may as well tuck into some ice cream, cheesecake, shortbread, Christmas cake, TUC crackers and mince pies then . Be interesting to see how it affects Isla though!

Best pressie: some Earth boots for the snow I bought myself in a pre-Christmas sale. And a nice snug white stuff cardi from MIL.
Worst pressie: a leopard print slanket from my mum. Leopard print not to my taste, and not practical for BF atm. Otherwise a great idea. Oh, and DH got me Dead Sea skin stuff despite having once heard the story of how I came out n hives after swimming in the Dead Sea