Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

x-posted sleepless. I can't bear to get up before them, so I've been either showering with DD, which she hates, or waiting until the evening, which I hate. DD doesn't nap any more, so once she's up that's it until midnight-ish when DS goes to sleep. I fantasise about sleep!

fruit no idea if I will BF that long this time - I am still thinking of giving up on a daily, if not hourly, basis! It was nice last time as I went back to work when she was 10 months, so it was lovely to come home and give her a feed before she went to bed. I was only doing that 1 feed a day for the last 9 months so it wasn't any trouble at all.

scarlotti sleepy hormones? what are they ? Reuben appears to have little of those going his way! Is is really true about the hormones though? I only ask as I am a terrible night person, i have run out of energy by early evening, and the thought of being able to express a decent amount at night seems unlikely. Reuben feeds so much in the evening, and sleeps much more in the morning. I was thinking of expressing first thing (7am or so) when he has had his morning feed then sleep. It means I get it done for the day, can start my morning routine, and dont have to think about waking from a sleep to pump if DH is feeding the night bottle. I now think i get it re expressing straight after feeding. I thought most people seemed to be feeding from both sides. It had occured to me to express from the side not fed from but was not sure if others fed from only one side. laugs i am sure that even with night milk having more sleepy hormones, the milk you are feeding him is not 'bad' in the slightest, it is still your milk!

Yeah, I didn't really mean 'bad', I meant, 'not as good as having the milk from my breast at that time of day'. I want to do what you want to - express in the morning, use it in the evening.

Hi ladies

Happy New Year!

Haven't posted in a while but have been following on my mobile! I wasn't well over Christmas & New Year and with sleepless nights just haven't accomplished very much at all. Glad to be back in the land of the living now. OK this might be a long one...

Pav It's definitely ok to mix milk from both sides as this is what the midwifes had me doing while expressing in the hospital for the first few days. I usually express in the mornings (if Ethan lets me) as I find I have more milk then and I'm not aware of it diminishing my supply. Some days I definitely get more than others though and I can occasionally get over 5oz from one side and not even half an ounce from the other! While I was hand expressing in the hospital I was shown to massage my breasts before attempting to express which might help - make fists with your hands and use your fists to massage from the outside in for about a minute with both hands - one at the outside and one at the bottom of your breasts. Loved your story about Reuben latching on himself, they really are amazing!

BBL So sorry to hear you're struggling with PND. I'm sure I read 1 in 10 ladies have PND so you're not alone. You've done well to ask for help, keep sharing with us and I hope you feel brighter and stronger soon xx

Re a routine, Ethan is 6 weeks old today. We have tried a bedtime routine over the past week, perhaps a bit too early, but on the days where we manage to get him down around 7/8pm he sleeps well until around 2am and then is wide awake until his next feed around 5am. The past two nights we've put him down later and he has settled much better between feeds during the night. I'm going to try to stick to bedtime for him around 10pm, depending on when he feeds, and try very hard to get up at the same time every morning... although I have to confess I find this very difficult. I will keep telling myself that this would help establish an earlier evening routine and it will be worthwhile in the long run. Bed is just too comfortable though, especially in these dark, cold winter mornings! I think we should focus on making sure he sleeps through the night between feeds and stops the wide awake between 2 & 5am habit before looking at the evening routine or daytime naps. Writing things down here really helps me work out a plan of action!

I also have to echo the praise of those of you with other children. I don't know how you do it! And confess that I too am very broody, which is ridiculous now I actually have a baby! I'm not sure I felt this way when we decided to have a baby in the first place... maybe I'm mistaking 'maternal' for 'broody'. We are keen to have another baby asap but DP is a probationer teacher this year so the sensible option would be to wait until he has a permanent position before trying again. Although DP put it quite succinctly the other day - you'd have to have sex to get pregnant!! Another TMI alert but is anyone else still bleeding? I've only just noticed it apparently stopping in the last day or two and we're at 6 weeks now. Will be visiting the GP for my 6 week check this week so will ask the doc.

I'm another one using Infacol at the moment. I don't want to jinx it but the Infacol definitely seems to be helping. Not sure when to try stopping using this... I know colic should disappear by 12 weeks so should I keep using it at every feed until then? I'm too scared to stop in case he gets colicky again!

Anyone else a bit stressed about finances? I've now used up my 6 weeks at 90% so expecting a huge drop in income this month. I have got the Child Benefit organised and Tax Credit application posted away but I'm still worrying about making ends meet. Any tips to help money go that bit further gratefully received! Should use that as motivation to get my reusable nappies & washable wipes going but just haven't got round to it yet & the nappies still look too bulky for our wee guy, although he is now above the 10lbs specified weight. I think I'll try them this week and see how we get on.

Maybe I should just get used to having no pennies now I'm a parent... sigh!

claired21 sorry you weren't well over Christmas, hpe you're feeling better

Anya is 8 weeks and I only stopped bleeding on Tuesday past. It stopped and started for a couple of weeks. I'm hoping I might start to have a fraction more energy now that it has stopped-it's really draining!

Speaking of which, are any of you on iron tablets? I refused a blood transfusion before I left hospital after having Anya and have been on tablets since. My levels are rising but slowly. Has anyone tried alternative iron supplements?

CTC is based on earnings from last tax year 2008/2009. I would make sure they know your income this tax year is lower. I gave them a predicted earning for this year so they could adjust my credits accordingly, as DH lost his job in Jan last year, and now he is not working, we would just be up shit the creek without the additional tax credits. I did it because when I return to work i will be doing less hours/earning less money so if DH is still not working we will continue to get the higher credits and if he is working, we will drop back to where we were.

Buy baby gros from ebay. For example, I am selling newborn clothes soon that have only been used once. And will be buying 3-6month clothes that have also only been used once. These next couple of months are a good time of year to do it, as people get bought a lot of clothes for children at christmas in the wrong sizes, or so much they don't get to wear it before it is outgrown (you will find that in coming month or 2).

Are re-useables really much cheaper? Do you have a washing service? If not, think about how much additional electric you might be using (green eco thingy is good if doing a lot of washing), and how much product you will need each month vs cost of disposables. I am using Nature babycare ones, they are fine (for now) and sainsbo's had a deal on a while ago so i bought loads!

Sell stuff on ebay. I am selling all my maternity stuff, incuding several items i never wore as never fit into them (seraphin jacket too big for example), but if you are having another, prob not worth doing that.

Turn your heating down 1 notch (if not done already) and wear a jumper or cardy, put a blanket on the bed. If with EDF, get the green/eco package which has cheaper night rates so you can do washing/dishwasher (if you have one) at night, saves 20%? if you have gas cooker, get a hob kettle, gas is cheaper than electric, saves a lot if you drink lots of tea. Cook in bulk and freeze so you use less gas/electric cooking meals from scratch each time (and saves time), you only then have to thaw and reheat (lasagne for example).

If you have a mortgage, see if you have any mortgage holidays, and if so, whether there are penalties attached/how much. I am able to take up to 6mths break on my mortgage for 'career breaks' such as ML, but i have to continue paying interest which ups the mortgage a little. I am doing it this time, for 3 months, to allow me to have the whole 9 months off.

Sorry, meant to say also before getting carried away, that i am sorry you were unwell over christmas and hope you are more recovered.

Can you tell i have been mostly feeding Reuben today growth spurt i am guessing) and as such been permanently stuck in one place. Oh dear, happens to be in front of the computer!

Claired21 I thought that my budgeting (post income drop) was going really well until I realised that my work had accidentally given me my full pay for December! Oops. So there'll be even less coming in for the next couple of months until it averages out again. Bunch of muppets. With you on needing to self motivate to get started on the re-usables. We know we want to do it but that first step is a big one!

Tamlin love the 'ambulatory milkbar' phrase. Perfectly put!

Raggie love the sound of your lie in! Hurrah for grandparents. We've also found that our LO loves the playmat his GM gave him. He's happy to spend 10 or 15 mins there just amusing himself - perfect for when you need that cup of tea - or racing around getting the laundry out/going to the loo/emptying the dishwasher more like.

lemontop I know what you mean about not being able to sleep for the snuffling. We ended up putting James in his own room in the first week because I simply couldn't sleep at all with him grunting away next to me. Felt bad about it but a semi-rested mother is a semi-sane mother, which is what the little mite needed.

Scarlotti I think we are pretty much at the same point in establishing a routine. Avoiding Gina Ford timed-to-15-minute-intervals madness, but trying to encourage behaviour and develop patterns that will work in the long term. I don't know about you, but although I kept the 6pm bath & feed constant it often felt that baby wasn't getting used to things at all. James is now 8wks and it's all just starting to fall into place. Those longer gaps between feeds, getting to sleep more easily and having more predictable days that you were describing so well. It is such a relief!

btw, has anyone actually tried to do a strict Gina Ford routine? DH got us the book, and some of it was useful, but the precision of the routines expected for newborns seemed insane, even to a first timer like me. I once tried to keep my 2wk old baby awake after a feed as she recommends and found myself crying because I was unable to and therefore was a terrible person. Or similar over-tired & hormonal thought. I never tried that again.

baby training
Continues to go well. He doesn't need to be held until deeply asleep any more before putting down and, as a bonus, last night for the first time ever James only woke once (ie slept 7- 10.30, 11-3 and 3.30-6 - though the first long sleep starting at 6.30 ish still takes a while to establish.

Early night for me - got Bryn down half an hour earlier tonight Will read through everything tomorrow, just popping by to send my good wishes to you all. Am in a good mood tonight

Pav I can tell you've been on maternity pay before! Thank you for the tips. Haven't tried ebay for clothes but will bear in mind. I find Asda/Primark etc pretty cheap but good quality for the basics and we've been very lucky with hand-me-downs from family and gifts for other clothes. Will have to organise his wardrobe though and keep an eye on what we need in each size.

Our boys are only a day apart but we haven't had mammoth feeding today, we've had mammoth sleeping. Slightly worried about the night ahead...

We've bought the disposables already. I figured £250 when we had money was better than the estimated £30-£40 per month on disposables when we're on reduced income. Also hoping to use them for subsequent babies. Just need to bite the bullet and get started.

Technically we should be able to manage on the lower income, it's just going to be difficult changing our habits. You get too used to having disposable income and I find DP quite impulsive with money so changing his way of thinking is proving difficult. He's also a fussy eater and I need to persuade him that we need to plan meals in advance. Otherwise he comes home from work and doesn't fancy what I have defrosted and ends up spending money on a takeaway. He thinks all I do is moan just now though, I can't really broach these kinds of subjects without him feeling that I'm nagging.

Tok Thanks for sharing! I think DP is starting to think I'm coming up with excuses not to do the deed. Hopefully this is it clearing up now.

Venus Your routine sounds fabulous! I'm hoping as Ethan gets bigger he will take in more milk and sleep longer between feeds. We're still usually at 3 hourly feeds although occasionally he will sleep longer. Should I be deliberately trying to stuff him full of milk late afternoon/evening? I think I might be guilty of stopping a feed too soon if he comes off, which might be just for a break rather than all finished, but I worry about it all coming back up again!

claire DH is the same, we 'meal plan' and he says 'what do you fancy for dinner tonight?' and i will list something from our plan and he will say 'i don't fancy any of that' and goes to the shops to buy more. Problem is, he goes to buy say some chicken, and comes back having spent £30! Oh we needed xyz, i thought we could have profiteroles for pudding, no did not fancy the phish food, oh and they had this on special...aaagh! And take aways, now we both love them so that is going to be really hard. I love indian food and we have a good relationship with our indian take away! They always do the best food

pav We have such a good relationship with our local takeaway DP got a freebie on his birthday last year!

venus I started off trying to do th GF day routine but he didn't follow it the second day and I could feel my stress levels rising. So I decided to ditch the timings and see how he goes. Now we seem to have two day patterns, and I just see which one he goes with in the morning. Short naps just mean more of them.
Tonight he cried once or twice when he went to bed but hasn't woken since It's day 3 so fits with the habits established over 3 days theory. Amalso just putting him down with his dummy, and a sheet firmly tucked over the grobag to keep him feeling secure and stopping him knocking his dummy out as he's dropping off.
I do think it's working as well as he's older.

pav I pump at 10 before I head to bed (as we speak!!) not sure if the hormones thing is valid, it just suits me as no dc's around and I have peace to get on with it. Am also going to do a session in the morning when i can and freeze that. Oh, and I started after the cluster feeding frenzy at 6 weeks had passed. He doesn't cluster feed any more, the most he does is more frequent feeds in the day.

For money saving stuff, check out Martin's money saving website www.moneysavingexpert.com as it has lots of advice and also deals/vouchers etc.

For those using reusables, I am selling some I bought to try so if anyone would be interested then shout and I can give details. Will ebay them otherwise.

oh dear, they know you too well methinks! you really are going to miss them!

Oh scarlotti so there is an end to cluster feeding in sight then? He has been mostly feeding today, and is now collapsed in my arms, little mouth open in an 'o' shape. I know if i put him down he will ask for more milk, so i shall hold him just a little longer while he pretends to be fast asleep! I shall await the passing of cluster feeding with impatience!

oh i am . I tried Reuben on a bottle. I should have just put 20ml in, just to whet his appetite and the more if he wanted it. He played with it, took about 10ml out of 60ml and then zonked out, although i am sure he zonked out to avoid any more bottle! (DD used to do that, she would scream and cry and when then did not stop us trying, she would fake sleep, mouth clamped shut!) I guess he was too tired to try properly/did not need it? I have just wasted 50ml - it took me bloody ages to get that, as it was one of the first lots i expressed. Can i resuse it at all now or is it gone? (i am thinking if he wakes in 30 mins-1hr, any longer and i would discard anyway). Oh well, at least it got him to sleep, lets hope he is so afraid of more bottle he will sleep for 4 hours!

Clair I posted a few days ago about beansprog.com - they have clothes bundles on there. The whole site is pretty cheap. I have five feeding tops, a nursing bra, and a musical mobile on the way for £35 including postage.

Can't remember who else said they had one of the musical seahorse things, but its amazing.

pavlov It's too late now obviously, but I was told as long as he takes it within the hour that's fine. I hope he woke up for it, that would have really annoyed me too!

Scarlotti I am stealing that idea about tucking in with a sheet over the grobag - brilliant! James always has his hands waving all over the place, so hopefully this will keep him calm.

Claire I found last time that even though my SMP went down after 6 weeks, I still managed ok on the reduced income, due to a reduced social life, ability to go shopping etc! Seriously, almost everything we bought for DD and are still using for DS was either charity shop or ebay - babies grow so quickly that there is loads of life left in their clothes/ toys once one child's finished with it. Also try freecycle for furniture/ baby clothes bundles etc. If DP is fussy about food, can you wait until he gets in before you defrost and do it in the microwave?

Pav I think the cluster feeding eased around 7 weeks as ha started having a longer gap. I took the opportunity asap as think he'd have carried in snacking if it was on offer.
I freeze in 2oz batches in those bf milk bags, and do about 4oz for the night feed. It's heartbreaking to have to throw some away.

Laugs am going to try the sheet for indoor naps too in the hope it helps. Seemed to do the trick at night.

claire we cut out take aways before I left work to try to save money and saved £200 a month Laugs is right too, I'm surprised how little I spend right now and all the extra stuff we bought was on ebay and it's as good as new.

I don't know why but it is really difficult to keep up with this thread at the moment but there are just too many good tips, so thanks to everybody!!!
I have a special interest in all this evening routine comments. Paula used to fall asleep at 9pm but since a week, she wakes up several times until, sometimes, midnight. It doesn't seem to be realistic to try to put her to bed earlier than that.
Yesterday, she has slept much less than usual during the day, fell asleep a bit earlier, I kept her in my arms for a while(to finish watching a movie ) and 1 inch over the matress she woke up and cried. (We try now first to soothe her while she is still in the cot but have to eventually take her out. But at least she should get the idea of night-sleep-cot.) After several attempts by me my husband just put her back awake, she did not cry, but chat happily for a while and fell asleep by her own. And then she even slept until 4.30 (I woke up as usual though...)
It would be nice if this was the start of a new habit but lets wait and see.

Just came back from the first set of immunisation and am now waiting if she gets any fever (why did my mum tell me this horror story about my brother...)
BTW from which temperature on do you give Calpol? The nurse told me 38° which for me seems to be almost no fever and much too early. I always thought a bit of fever is good and the body needs it in its fight against a virus.

venus great news on the baby training! I tried your HV's tip about putting down then picking up if cry but putting down again insead of sleeping inarms and it worked! She slept 8.15pm, didn't wake fo 11ish feed just to see and she only woke at 2am, then 5.30. A good night!

My next challenge: use reusables more (currently about 2 in 10 changes as They're STILL leaking out round her we bottom!

AND

get expressing sorted. Thanks for the tips claire as about 5ml is my record so far ! There's a La Leche meeting here tomoro - someone said they might help/lend out pumps, is that right?

We use a blanket over the sleepbag too as it's SO cold! But she always chucks her arms up in the air...like SuperBaby. Very cute but her little paws are cold as ice!

Hey ursi, I#m finding it hard to keep up too. I hope you're right about Paula's sleeping. It's hit and miss with Anya.

When ds was immunised I was always told to give him the calpol right away to prevent a fever. I think (don't quote me on this though!) fever is a sign that the body is fighting a virus but using calpol to bring it down/prevent it does not stop the body from fighting the virus. I gave ds the calpol as advised and he never developed a fever. He did however sleep alot more than normal, so be prepared for that.

thanks TOK, Paula is in fact already sleeping more than usual (maybe just because she had the opportunity as she was in the pram). Interesting that you had to give the calpol to prevent the fever. I had asked the nurse if I HAD TO give it to her if she had mild fever (she did not understand that question btw), she said that I should only give it if she really got fever and not as prevention ...

hi all, hope everyone is well.

with budgeting we are pretty good,with food we tend to buy when things are on offer and also are pretty good at going through the reduced stuff and getting the decent stuff in there to put in the back-up freezer. plus staff discount helps as well. though was naughty shopping today, bought dh only fools and horses ultimate edition with the christmas specials for a bargain £36.also we generally dont buy take-outs, excepting birthdays really.

Feeling very stressed at the moment, please please please let ds1 have had a good day at school and NO ACCIDENTS. I have social anxiety and the thought of going to pick him up he's wet himself again, diaspproving words from the teacher, threats about not letting him back till he stops.... just starts me panicking.

A bit of an emotional day all round as i've realized that this is my last week at home with baby!!He goes to the childminder from next monday and i'm back to work in 2 weeks!!When has all the time gone!

Could really do with some chocolate but on post baby diet so i'll have to be an apple -not really the same is it!

No take-outs here as dp was diagnosed as allergic to gluten in may. Saved us loads of money and dp has lost loads of weight but it's a bit extreme as a budgeting tip!! Otherwise i have a budget spreadsheet,a meal plan spreadsheet, a housewrk spreadsheet...now i just need to actually follow them through!