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April 2009 - Episode 10 - Christmas time!! we can all drink wine, while children gurgle nursery rhymes, with logs in their nappies, and pee by the tree fun will be had by baby and me!!

1008 replies

SantasNutts · 03/12/2009 11:02

here we go then Merry Christmas One and all!! xxxxx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
gingersarah · 04/01/2010 09:21

Auld - sorry to hear things are so dismal. Have a pain au chocolat and a cup of coffee immediately. Good luck with the illness and the boiler.

Bebe, as MrsG says you can open a bank account any time you like in your name only. But why should it be a secret? Why not just tell him you have a personal bank account for savings for your personal things? Anyway, either way, you can just do it and I think you should if it gives you a greater sense of agency over your future.

GoodKingWhatFreshHellLookedOut · 04/01/2010 09:36

bebe I'd be tempted to tell your DH that you are now in charge of all the finances, if the timesheet debacle is any indication of his ability to manage his money!

DP and I have separate bank accounts for our salaries and a joint one for household expenses, into which we pay the same amount every month. In reality, DP rarely pays any attention to any of them, so I manage my account, his account, the joint account and the savings account. He just spends what I leave him in his account

Auld sorry to hear you are not having a good time - in fact it sounds like a rubbish time! How long will it take to get heating refilled/fixed? DP and I snapped at each other this morning when getting ready, not used to this getting up at 6.30am - over the holidays the children have been sleeping in till 8.30am, bliss.

So New Year, new regime - Orbit's sleep has got to a ridiculous point and he keeps falling asleep in his lunch, so we are Taking It In Hand. Nap at 9am, no arguing. Did Pick Up Put Down with him and he screamed the place down, but did eventually go down at 9.15am, so not bad, although I suspect he actually conked out on me during the last Pick Up, from sheer exhaustion. Still, we shall persist, as it's got to the point where he is incapable of going to sleep except on one of us, and that's Not Good.

AF came back yesterday, blergh. I'd forgotten what it's like, and of course first one after having a baby is always a nightmare. Somehow I think I thought I was now exempt from such tediousness. Seems not.

Must write my flexible working letter this week - can anyone advise: I know it's good form to outline in the letter how I would expect my role to work, so who would pick up the work I drop, etc etc, but they're currently reorganising my dept so I don't actually know what job I'll be doing, or who I'll be managing, or anything, so it's kind of impossible. Should I just say that, and that I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how it might work in light of their proposed changes to my role/team?

dawntigga · 04/01/2010 09:36

Auld I feel you baby!

Tell DH to get off his arse, spend the day at bloody home and fix the freaking boiler!

AmQuiteMadAtMenAtTheMomentTiggaxx

AuldAlliance · 04/01/2010 09:44

Ooh, pain au chocolat, gingersarah! Very, very nice idea. Will have to be a virtual one, as I can't really take A out in the cold and rain to get to the boulangerie.

Tigga, DH was a star this weekend, looked after A and DS1 in turns, dragged the landlord's dud dishwasher downstairs and ours up, spent hours fitting it, and took A from me between midnight and 4am last night so I could sleep a bit. He can't really take time off work, given the volatile character of his bastard boss.

WFH, sorry about AF. I am still blissfully free of such curses, who knows how long that'll last.

AuldAlliance · 04/01/2010 09:49

WFH, I have ordered oil to be delivered: first slot was Wed 7am-8am.
But I don't know the size of the tank, so didn't know how much to order.

I have called the agency and have the number of the engineer/plumber who started the boiler up for us in Nov, so he can come and check that there is nothing else wrong and it really is a lack of oil. But he is olde worlde, has no mobile, and his wife said to call back between 12:15 and 1:30pm. Très français.

We have an electric radiator in our room so A doesn't freeze, borrowed another for the living room, and have a blower thing for the bathroom so nappy changes don't lead to pneumonia.

Doctor's appt for 6:30pm. He "prefers not to do house calls for babies".

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 10:09

Only just stopping in until I've got my allotted time... skim read

Want account where they won't send me mail which will get his mind wondering. We have pocket money and house accounts each already...but I think I want something so I can siphon off a little extra as back up. It prefer it be without his knowledge so I don't have him going...'well we could just dip into the X account' and pestering me about it all the time.

AUld sorry abt the boiler. bundle up empathies with the the sickness. It's been horrible like that since dh's been off. I feel shattered, at least with him gone I won't have his snoring keeping me up now when I finally do get to sleep.

Likewise with Orbit WFH (not sleeping so sucks. stay strong!

Right! Write! (tellingmyself off been on too long already, not good start)
xx

bronze · 04/01/2010 10:33

bebe you can open an account online only
smile- are only online we get no crap from them in the post (apart from bank card etc)

we3kingbeat23oforientare · 04/01/2010 10:40

WFH - Contact me through the FW page with your email address and i'll send you a copy of my FW application to look at.

Have just come back from the DRs as I have an ear infection - Thanks SIL...just what I need....everyone keep thier fingers crossed that DD doesnt get it....am dosed up on antibiotics, lemsip and any other pharms i can get my hands on....2 hours sleep upright on the sofa...its gonna be an interesting day!!

Bebe - I echo all of the above...get your own bank account and tell him to feck off with the baby malarky until youve got your boobs and bits back for a bit if that's what you want...

I will be back to comment later, but be warned it will be peppered with the usual lazy grammar mistakes and with added swearing...

dawntigga · 04/01/2010 10:44

Auld before you moved could you speak French? If so did you take lessons etc before going?

NoseyTiggaxx

SnowyBoff · 04/01/2010 11:25
  1. Bebe, every woman should have her own bank account. Apart from anything else, if anything happens to your DH they freeze all the bank accounts until probate has been carried out and you end up completely cashless. I would suggest a building society account with a passbook and an instruction for them not to send you any marketing materials. That way you won't get statements and so on. The interest rates can be better as well.
  1. The others are right when they say it's easier to study at university with pre-schoolers than with kids at school. I did a first degree, masters and PhD, all with babies in tow or arriving in the middle. When kids are at school you are a lot less flexible and also they seem to get ill quite regularly as well, which means a lot more juggling. It's much easier to put them into a university nursery or similar.
WhatFreshHellIsThis · 04/01/2010 11:55

kingbeat, have sent you a mail on FB. Hope I got the right person, I can never remember who's who!

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 12:12

I went for a walk so I get a little free time on the net 40min (subtracting the previous 10min I was on.

I'm going to look into building societies and Smile bank (quick look says it might be a good choice)

Kingbeat poo on your sister about the ear infection hopefuly it passes soon.

I can never remember who's who either Highly embarrassing

Safe room/ tidy nursery to play in is working wonders! I'm loving it. (As is Moo who's screaming UP and Kee who just jumped over the gate. I'm sure it's all coincidence. Surely she does not know what she's saying?!?

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 12:39

right so I'm looking at the Smile site at the fees. On the top you see it says no fees for normal baking services.... but if you scroll down (after the overdraft fees table) it says a subscription fee of £13 every month. What does that mean? Sorry I'm complete rubbish at this stuff

we3kingbeat23oforientare · 04/01/2010 12:42

WFH - its me, but incomplete email address...

Bebe - No, I'm sure she does know what she means....I am now a definate MUM and DP is a definate DAD but then so are all women and men!!

I only know who is who coz I wrote it all down on a bit of paper when i thought I was going to meet you all at Christmas and had a panic about not remembering who was who and then I still have to check!! That is unless Iris hasn't ripped it to shreds in her peak of paper madness/eating/shredding1

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 12:44

Also I never know what to put down for my income as technically there's money coming in (if, as previously mentioned, DH remembers to pay us) but it's not mine exactly. Do I put my pocket money allowance or the amount dh makes? Or something else?

Bicnod · 04/01/2010 13:02

Afternoon ladies... I'm listening to some VERY LOUD thumping cheesy pop music being played at full volume by the little girl downstairs. Roll on the end of the school hols . She has also been riding her new scooter up and down their uncarpeted floorboards which sounds something akin to a roll of thunder. Joy.

Oh Bebe - I agree with everyone else, your DH shouldn't be pressuring you into anything you're not sure about. Also agree with Boff that every woman should have her own bank account. Hope you manage to get everything sorted out. Maybe write a list of the pros and cons of having a new baby straight away and then show it to DH?

Kingbeat - that sounds crap. What did your brother have to say about it? My MIL still hasn't been in contact since she stood us up for Christmas lunch - not sure how that in-law situation will resolve itself.

Auld - bloody doctor - surely a house call for a baby is entirely appropriate? Grrr. Hope A is better soon and you get your pain au chocolat.

Can't stand the thumping beat anymore (although it seems to have kept O asleep for longer than usual) so going to go and hide in the kitchen.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 04/01/2010 13:32

mrsgboring - the mogwai singing

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 04/01/2010 13:38

Arse.

mrsgboring, the mogwai singing

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 04/01/2010 13:39

Tits, arse, wank!

Mogwai singing, please let it work this time?

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 14:22

last one worked for me

Moo is only eating porridge or mummy milk sigh

Feierabend · 04/01/2010 14:45

Hello everyone

Back from Germany and very very tired. Last bit of the journey was difficult with motorways covered in snow and ice, and Seafrance wouldn't let us on the ferry we had booked. Hazel has been sleeping very badly, don't know if it's the unfamiliar environment, or teething, or just her usual bad sleeping patterns deteriorating further. Last night she cried from 3.30 onwards, almost without a break until I fed her at 6am. Then DH's alarm went off I had so hoped we'd have a better start to the year.

It's far too cold in our house and especially on the floor, where Hazel is rolling around. She's got icy hands and feet. I need her to stay healthy, she's supposed to have her swine flu jab on Thursday. And she's still coughing from her cold from before Christmas.

I wish I could make a nice little fire but I don't know how to

Bebe, I was certain that I wanted to be pregnant again, I felt ready for it emotionally and physically, we have a 2.1 yr gap which isn't that unusual or small, but almost every day now I wish I'd waited a bit longer. I don't KNOW if it would have been easier but I feel that DD1 got a very raw deal and I haven't been able to give her even half the attention she needs. Even at Christmas, I had to spend most of the time with a clingy Hazel while my mum / dad / nephew / DH played with DD1. I feel like I've missed out on a very important part of her life, and many beautiful moments were spoilt because H started crying / needed a feed / nappy change. I know people say the small gap will be great for them when they are old enough to play together, but at the moment it's very hard work and DD1 is the one who loses out. Take as much time as YOU feel you and Moo need and tell your DH to shut up.

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 15:21

Welcome back Feiera! Sorry to hear the travelling was bad. Glad you're back safe even if the sleeping is a shambles again. Fingers crossed H is better for her jabs in time.

SnowyBoff · 04/01/2010 16:22

Bebe, £13 pcm for a bank account is a ripoff. You don't need to pay anything. If anyone wants to know your income, put your household income down.

SnowyBoff · 04/01/2010 16:28

Plus I may be speaking out of turn, but FWIW I think it's utterly wrong to call your cash 'pocket money' as I think this rather infantilises you financially. Children get pocket money, adult women get housekeeping or just money.

Best interest rates for instant access savings accounts (which is what you seem to need) are here:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-regular-savings-accounts

bebemoohatessnot · 04/01/2010 16:51

But it is my pocket money I get to spend it on whatever toys I want whether they be dress up clothes or string, or pens and paper....

Housekeeping money comes from the main account...So I should put the household income as the total left after the pocket money is taken out? Or what should be the excess after all the bills are paid?

All this does my head in. I hate all the mumbo jumbo. I swear it's easier in the states, but it could be because I've grown up with the jargon over there.

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