NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

helips i don't think its comfy for them either. I sat on it and its like a brick! He does doze on the bed fine, which is much softer, and yes, closer to my boobs! DH said ' he has clearly got you exclusively for the time being, i shall forget they were ever mine!' . I have a cot, but not a by the bed one, although if i put the side down, and on a low level it might be the same level as our (low) bed? Might take a look and see.

I feel for you with your sibling trouble, i have some too but not that bad, hope it improves. DD struggles to go to sleep and she slept at nursery yesterday too, I was happy as at least they got to deal with her very tired, not us! BUT, she is always good as gold for them regardles of whether she is tired!

Is anyone else feeding their newborns constantly? Reuben is just over 2 weeks and he feeds so much that my boobs leak within half hour of him stopping feeding now . He is getting to be a little chubster though so clearly is taking lots of milk not just suckling.

Skorpion big hug. I was exactly the same as you so really, really feel for you - I know that feeling of dread about the next feed. There are lots of people on the BF thread that can give you good advice xx

Oh skorpion ... my nipples were agony at first too - I used lansinoh slathering all over them which helped a bit. I also try (on MW instruction) to make sure she has a really BIG open mouth when she latches on and stop her if she's not big enough. Except when I'm exhausted and it's the middle of the night, then I usually reap the consequences in sore nipples again.

It was reeealy sore but now they have eased loads. Hope this is the case with yours too.

Sleep? I can't work it out. I suppose a close to 10 hours during the day in 2 or 3 long naps then 8 during the night with 2 or 3 gaps to feed which can take anything from 15 mins to an hour...

No patterns here yet.

OK, so I've manage to note down what happened with my birth. Hold on everyone, sorry it's so loooong but the birth was too...!

(EDD Monday 30th November)

Labour Part 1:

Sunday evening contractions erratic and faded overnight

Monday afternoon contractions, continue through night, painful, close together but not ?regular?. Continue through Tuesday closer then further, sorer then not so sore. Whenever we tried to take our mind off, they would seemingly disappear. Kept ringing birth centre, told to wait until...whatever next stage was.

By 11pm Monday night contractions really painful, TENS machine on full. 5 mins apart for an hour. Started shaking after them. DH got worried, so we headed in, calling to say on way.

Labour Part 2: Arrive. V busy so had to go to delivery observation area instead of birth centre first. Left alone for a-g-e-s. Pain! Eventually got gas and air to help with pain but not using right. Examined and found to be 3-4cm dilated.

About 3am? New MW comes in and starts looking after us, told to ?climb the mountain? with contractions gas and air. Helps. Another new MW takes over our care half 3? Examines - still 3-4cm so plan is to go upstairs to birth centre, continue then maybe get in pool in couple/few hours is her plan. Agree

About 5.30 MW suggests having meptid injection to get some rest before second stage. Agree. Pass out, contractions blissfully wash over me. DH asleep crashed out on floor.

8amish. Rudely awoken by business-like MW and her student who brusquely tells me I am her ?responsibility? and I don?t seem to be in active labour. As I am still out of it on the meptid this reeeally freaks me out and I start crying ?Do you want me to leave?? What do you mean? Do I have to go home? They soon transfer my care to another new MW who looks after us the rest of the day. Go for walk to try to get things moving. Too painful so come back. Cx VERY painful but not much going on. Examined from outside and concern over position of Rosa - is she back to back?

About 4pm feel cannot go on any longer - been 2 nights virtually no sleep and labouring with nothing progressing whatsoever. MW?s helpful heated wheatbags and arometherapy footbaths doing feck all. Feels like a never-ending nightmare with no light at the end pf the tunnel. Eventually MW explains the options and I say I need to go for an epidural. She gives me an exam (5cm still ONLY!) and requests us to be booked in downstairs. Another meptid injection to help deal with pain. Makes me feel sick and doesn?t really help. Lovely senior MW pops in and makes me feel better and says epidural right thing to do - 90% of women who have do so from exhaustion, don?t feel bad.

Labour part 3: Arrive downstairs and Rose, loveliest MW ever, just coming on shift takes over our care. Examines (5-6cm) and manage to stay zen enough through contractions to have epidural put in. Helps initially. Strapped to mointors for Rosa?s heartbeat and my contractions as well as hooked up to drip in case epidural goes wrong and syntocinon to aid contractions. Waters broken artificially. Some mec in them but not to worry. Feel helpless. Cannot move. Left leg dead but right movable.

Pain still bad. Rose increases dose and keeps topping up. Tom sleeping on floor. Dilation continues s.l.o.w.l.y...Eventually just ?lip? remaining to dilate before can get pushing. but must wait an hour after that. Pain in back agony - (back to back?) even through epidural...
Start pushing but nothing happening. Cannot feel contractions as pain in back too awful. Can?t get into any position which helps. Rose can?t monitor contractions as I?m writhing about too much. Hopeless. Calls Doc to examine me.

Doctor prods around HARD. Says baby is definitely back to back and we need to go to theatre - will try to use forceps to turn her but could be a c-sec. Me: whatever, just get her OUT and let me be free of this pain!

Labour Part 3: Now everything moves quickly - sign my life away after being told benefits and risks and sent to theatre after saying a tearful but hazy goodbye to DH.

Anaesthetist hooks me up to complete numbness although am still gasping for gas and air to help it finally kicks in and I can shut up! Lots of bustling around and people everywhere. Rose reassuringly present but busy.

Finally DH arrives, he is in a bit of a state as been left alone not knowing what?s going on for 20 mins while they got me ready. Now, my legs akimbo the op is about to begin. Little do I know they cut two episiotomies and plunge in with the ?blades? aka forceps.

Somehow...

the manage to turn her and it?s down to me to push her out.

One huge push. Her grey little head is out. DH in tears.

Panting and anxious waiting for the next Cx.

Finally with an almighty push, although I?m not really sure what I?m doing because of the spinal block, Rosa arrives into the world, covered in mec, 6.22 Dec 3rd, 3 days after EDD when contractions began in earnest.

She is wiped down and handed to us for some time skin to skin before taken to be weighed and cleaned more properly.

Surgeon stitches me up after removing placenta MANUALLY by hand as it won?t remove from uterus wall.

Nice.

Oh raggie how horrible for you . But at least Rosa is ok. But what a way to enter into the world, how you feeling now?

Thanks pav Weirdly ok about it all ... I think.

HVisitor today told me about a 'birth afterthoughts' support thing at the hospital which you can call weeks, months even years after if you feel you need to talk it through with them, with your notes.

Apparently once people start thinking about having another one they sometimes feel the need to call, which i can understand. All the way through I was thinking, never again!!!

Raggie, Christ. I am so sorry it went like that - it sounds an awful lot like DS 1's birth. Save that description of the birth, you might want it if you do feel like going over things again in a debrief.

Rosa is a gorgeous name - I do love it. Btw, if she seems to have a sore head from the forceps, I've heard great things about cranial osteopathy from friends who had instrumental deliveries.

People in the early throes of sore breastfeeding, don't read this. I think I have a blocked duct - one side of one breast is hot and radiating pain. I just pumped for half an hour trying to empty it, but no joy - apparently my cups runneth over, and I STILL have milk. Apparently I'm supposed to get the baby to nurse from this side every two hours, but a) he only feeds every three now, and b) what do I do about the other side as that will just get blocked too?! I hope I can get it sorted, I really really don't need mastitis...

Erika our boys are due a growth spurt around 6 weeks so that might be part of it too. Am feeding a lot here and nips are sore again.

BBL Ioan does about 12 hours at night and then about another 5 during the day.

skorpion it does sound as though maybe your latch isn't quite right. Can you ring your midwife/health visitor/labour ward if all else fails and ask them to send someone around to see how you're doing. I've also heard that you can feed from just one side whilst the other is healing. If you can express from the sore side then that will help any engorgement. Hopefully tiktok will answer your other thread as she's an nct bf counsellor. Their number btw is 0033 300 0771 and well worth a call for advice.

Pav I do feel for you. Can't offer much advice really. DS1 had a moses basket and only liked it when I wedged him in with rolled up t-shirts so he felt something either side of him. Ioan has a baby hammock which has been brilliant - I got mine 2nd hand so maybe that's something you could explore, pennies willing? The hammock moulds around them almost cuddling them and moves back and forth.

helips well done on getting through last night and hang on in there! He's just testing your boundaries. Also, tonight might be worse depending on how tenacious your DS is. It WILL improve though so keep at it. A friend of mine had a baby that would never sleep unless in a sling/on her and it took 4 nights to sort it. First night she screamed for 2 hours. 5th night she went down, murmured a bit then slept like an angel.

Saw the HV this morning and got Ioan weighed and measured for the 6 week check. He's doing really well. E45 is ok to use for any dry skin I was told (didn't fancy the thought of olive oil!) and the 6 week growth spurt can last up to a week. I mentioned that the night before he'd slept until 5:30 and she said that often happens before a spurt! I don't mind so much now I know what to expect ... although ask me again in a week and you might get a different answer!

Went and got my legs waxed today, ouch, but is nice to start grooming again if that makes sense. Have started to bring out some non maternity clothes too. Maybe I might crack open the mascara for Christmas?!!

oh i like the sound of the hammock

Sharing your pain folks!

After a screamathon from 7 -12 Charlotte slept (noisily) for 6 hours1...The bad news is DD1 had a tummy bug and was up from 3-8am, vomitting. Being a parent is fun!..DH is off to a party tonight so hope he stay awake..

pav Charlotte is the same with the basket...what a mare..

erika hug to you and Bryn..

I'm so sleeeeepy

raggie x-posts - OMG, you were so brave. Well done on making it through such an ordeal and as Tamlin says, hang on to that description for future reference/debrief.

Tamlin feeling for you with a blocked duct. Are you trying the old favourites - savoy cabbage, warm then cold flannels etc? Might help ease things whilst you express for the US and the UK combined

Right, have a spare 30 mins before nursery pick up time. Just enough to go to Argos and finish the present shopping.
Nap ... what's a nap?

2muchinformation I got mine on eBay and it was half the retail price. It's an amby hammock although I'm sure there are now others making them too.

sleepless your poor DD1, hope she's better soon.

Thanks for the reassuring comments re the birth. I do have the whole thing saved for bedtime reading when I can't nod off..

tamlin so sorry to hear about the mastitis. I have been worried about it as I have a fibroadenoma in my right boob (basically a harmless growth but not too big so not removed) and they said it could be a problem for bf.

Can I ask expressers - when did you start and was it difficult? I tried to use a manual pump last night as my boobs were hee-uge but none would come out. When I squeezed it was like Niagara falls but on the pump, nada... Sound familiar at all?

sleepless, auggh, tummy bugs are the worst. Will hope you don't get it!

After four weeks of pointing a camera at a darkly suspicious baby, I finally got a photo of the child smiling. Hurray! Have stuck it in my profile as evidence.

(posting AGAIN)

raggie, try squeezing for a bit before you put the pump on to get the milk letting down - also, try pumping while looking at Rosa (sounds mad, I know, but it does seem to help - especially if she'll oblige by making noises!)

Another sleepy mum here. The longest sleep Ben had during the night was 1hr 40mins and i'm so tired. He's quite gassy which doesn't help and gets reflux (i think) after some feeds too so feeding him takes as long as his next sleep .

I know a few of you have mentioned slings for your bubs, which ones do you recommend? I have a maya ring sling and can't get on with it at all as the material just clumps through the rings. Any advice would be appreciated.

I only have to look at DS when he's due a feed and I can feel the rush of milk. I sometimes have a job expressing as well (with electric pump). DS gets more milk out of my breast than the pump ever does. I think for me the time of day matters hugely when I express. I started expressing at 4 weeks as I wanted DH to do a feed so I could sleep, I don't get a chance to do it everyday as its such a faff! Tam Have read to massage the block duct/s. Hope something works for you.

Scarlotti Thank you for the response The underline problem with the sleep (I feel) is down to his bad congestion since birth, so feeds were short spurts at night and regular, which now has become a habit for him. The congestion is clearing this week so feeds are easier. I am now in talks with DH about the Amby. DS sleeps so well in his cradle swing during the day, but has never taken to the moses or cot. I'm waking him every 2 hours today for a play and feed. I'm hoping this makes a difference for tonight. Also, like you, I'm going to try a bedtime upstairs routine, as he's with us most of the night in the lounge.

DH has just informed me he has purchased an Amby hammock. It couldn't arrive quick enough!!

Typing one handed so excuse bad typing and no bold!

Tamlin - Sorry about blocked ducts. Massaging down from top to bottom helps. Also, I have some gel pads that you put into your bra that really help too. I would express from the side you have not got it and feed from the side you have, if that makes sense. That worked for me with dd1.

Sorry for those of you that have LO's that won't sleep in the moses basket, or anywhere apart from your chests! I am quite lucky with Leah although right now she is screaming because I am not holding her! I am gently trying to show her that she is actually ok to lie NEXT to me rather than on me!

HV came this morning. Leah is now 9ib 9oz and on the 50h centile. I thought she would be more than that (as she seems so much bigger than dd1 did!) so am pleased she is doing well without gaining too much weight (I know they can't, but still worry!) sorry screaming too much better go!

raggie I could never get much out of a breast pump either, even though I knew I had loads of milk (last time, haven't tried it yet this time). I had an electric one, but I've heard manual might be better as you have more control of it.
Your birth story made me wince! You have done brilliantly well and I hope the stitches are healing and you're feeling ok. I did start replaying my last birth quite a lot when I started to think about getting pregnant again and throughout the pregnancy, so it is useful to know you can talk it through if you need to. I also got flashbacks, which I gather are quite normal too.

fairybex I have a Close sling which I got after a couple of people on this thread recommended it and also because you can feed in it. I haven't tried that yet, but DH and I both really like it. We also have a Baby Bjorn and before James was born DH had declared that the one he'd use (I think he thought it was a bit more manly), but I've noticed he uses the Close a lot more, and more than me in fact. It's very comfy, easy to put on (it's all in one piece, so you don't have to tie any knots yourself) and James definitely likes it too. I haven't tried any other slings to compare them though. We probably wear it at home as much as out.

raggie, I've only expressed twice so far. It seems to be easier when the baby is latched on on the other side. And I have read that it helps looking at a picture of the baby or thinking about it, hearing it or also opening the water-tab.
I have a manual pump and am happy not to have an electrical one as I found it already quite powerful this way (I guess I have to get used to it)
Tamlin, sorry about the blocked ducs. I had the same a couple of weeks ago. I took a long hot shower, don't know if it really helped but was nice anyway. And I first tried to feed Paula as often as I could which she first accepted but then she vomitted so heavily that I have decided that it was really cruel and continued as she wanted. In the meantime I tried to express by hand especially at night. And you should position the baby in a way that her chin points towards the painful part.
skorpion, I had one cracked nipple at the beginning and just continued feeding from both sides. I only put breastmilk on it and let it airdry. I tried lansinoh once but as Paula wanted to be fed again so I found it pointless.
I think you should really try to see a bf advisor, maybe there is something wrong with the position and then it might just always hurt.

We both had a 6 weeks check and are both fine. I had an examination and didn't have to ask for it.
Paula is in perfect condition too, was a very happy child, did not cry and stared at the GP. In fact she almost smiled at her which I would NOT have appreciated as she still hasn't really smiled at me

I'm on my own tonight and tomorrow, I am already a bit scared of the evening cluster feeding... she is running a bit late today.
Yesterday I have expressed for the first time and she accepted it without any problem from my husband, I will see, if she takes it from me too.

I'm a pump-master!!..what pump have you got raggie.. I have the Avent manual and medela swing electric..I do find the manual a bit fiddly but more comfortable and the electric a little faster. You must hold it tight on the boob and lean forward. it shouldnt hurt.
at birth story..are you healing ok??

fruit I like soun of an Amby... let me know how it goes..

raggie Wow, just wow. Well done for lasting that long and avoiding a c-section. I hope you heal quickly.

Fruit I don't want to freak anyone out but there was a big recall on Amby hammocks recently - check their website for more info.

Parents are here for the next couple week - haven't touched the LO all day except when she fusses for a feed. Don't know what to do with myself in the meantime!

Woo! Done (doing!) first day without DH and surviving! Am so lucky - his term doesn't restart til mid Jan and he is very flexible even then but today he's been off to London Xmas shopping. Rosa and I have managed a health visitor visit, cup of tea with NCT peeps and a wee trip into Boots and Tesco on the way back. Feeling very proud of ourselves and not too sore either, even better!

sleepless I have the Avent manual too. It's secondhand from my good friend but no instructions so just hoping I've put it together right! There's a little white thing with a sort of star pattern on the bottom which goes in the base of the pump, above the screwed in bottle. It seems like it would block any milk that DID actually come out...but without it the suction doesn't seem to happen. Does that ma sense?

Thanks for all the other advice too! I will try looking at Rosa/while feeding on the other side and leaning over to allow gravity to help too. It's still early as she's only 2 weeks tomorrow and MW said wait til 4 wks but the feeding is going well and I remember people saying waiting too long can make it difficult too.

Thanks too for all the birth sympathy! The thing is when it was happening you just go with it. It's only looking back you realise it was pretty awful and reading it, seems like it happened to someone else at the moment.

Meant to say tamlin, what a gorgeous pic of Arthur on your profile! A beautiful smile!