NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

yes not sure what is is with lexi but she is happiest lying on her change mat!

skorpian sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted but little Lucy is here safe and well and that is all that matters. You can always try for a vbac next time!

erika you did make me laugh with the comment about the women in M&S, good for you!

bbl Thanks for the advice re ds, he is 2.3 and unfortunately I don't think rewarding him for staying in bed will work just yet.

However, my health visitor came round this morning and I had a chat with her about it. She suggested I put a stair gate on his door (something that I've been thinking of doing but was worried it was cruel). She said that ds has got into a habit of waking up and we are rewarding him with cuddles, that toddlers need to be set boundary's and that he needs to learn that once he is in bed he has to stay in his room. If he wakes up we just have to put him back to bed with no dialogue. Should be pretty tough but I am going to give it a go tomorrow (dh is out tonight and I'm too much of a wuss to do it on my own!) I'm so damn tired and this can't go on any longer. Have any of you mums with toddlers had to do anything similar?

Hi all, have had a rough couple of days since fri, which started with the electric company sending a surge of power through our lines (NEUTRAL ONE) which broke the boiler of everyone who lives down our road. Breaking also my washing machine, telephone, shower and dh's xbox 360 was thought to be broken (but was just the transformer but the xbox had to be taken away and checked so had a v miffed dh. ) and no power for the whole of Friday which was a nightmare and had to go round my mums.

electricity company have taken responsibility and are mending the boilers and everyone but us has had theirs fixed, but not ours cos ours needs parts that seems to be hard to order, we are a priority case tho. and they are also sending men to mend our washing machine and the shower. all these things are things i cherish and love. how am i supposed to cope with no heating, no hot water for baths, no shower and no washing machine? gaa, i can see me going crazy by the end of the week.

children have been good as gold tho, so i am grateful for that at least.

Every 4 hours Laugs? mine takes 1.5hours to feed and then is hungry 30mins later..its exhausting..is anyone on their own with toddlers and a baby??? i can't manage it with the perpetual feeding..luckily my mum is over to help, otherwise I would be going mad.

helips, yes, we have had problems with DS 1 and night waking. We nipped it in the bud pronto as our friends also have a toddler and a wee one and once their toddler realized that waking in the night = one-on-one attention from daddy, there was no stopping him.

I regret to say that we threatened DS 1 with the loss of his Muppet Show and snuggles with Daddy first thing in the morning. He had one morning of flinging himself around the living room and wailing and pointing at the TV while we said 'No! Boys who wake up at night don't get Muppets!' And that did it.

skorpion, congratulations on Lucy's arrival - but I also want to say that it's all right to be upset about the way the birth went. It sounds as if it was very frightening and disorienting for you. I didn't deal with DS 1's birth very well afterwards (everyone, including my HV, told me that a healthy baby was all that mattered and so I tried hard not to think about what had happened to ME) and then I did struggle with a lot of unwanted memories during this pregnancy.

sleepless, the constant feeding should let up eventually. Arthur was over six weeks before he settled into every-three-hours.

Trikken you poor thing, hope it all gets sorted soon

helips good idea re stair gate. It takes (apparently) 3 days of doing something to change the habit of a toddler so keep that in mind. We have had periods of having to return a chld to bed. It's well worth doing it though as if they sleep better, they are better equipped to deal with life and are more alert and brighter. Think of it as a way of helping him rather than yourself and you won't feel as guilty.

skorpoin sorry you didn't have the birth you wanted, but glad the disappointment is fading. Many women don't get the exact one they wanted so don't dismay - just baby gaze instead

Well, today I've been trying my hardest to get him to feed more at each sitting, offering both sides at a feed. Not sure if it's going to buy me any more sleep though but it has made me stop and think about how he feeds and look at whether I'm hindering things. Am hoping that being more aware will actually help as I'll see patterns emerge.

That's the idea anyway

Don't know what happened there.. i posted that in the afternoon..

tamlin thanks for that.. I'm hoping it gets better..

trikken what a nightmare...I hope they compensate..Is it freezing over there?

DH is rocking Charlotte at the mo. she's having her evening screaming session..this is 7 days in a row now..roll on month 2..seeing a cranial oesteopath in Belfast when we go next week. Its exhausting..

For all those breast feeding - how do you manage a dream feed? Unless he's awake I can't get him to latch on. Is the only way to do a bottle at the 10/11pm feed?

Trikken the electricity comp should also pay you compensation.

Another question for all those breastfeeding - are your nipples reeeeeeally sore or am I doing something wrong? Ethan is 15 days now. Not sure if things will settle down in time or not?

No breastfeeding support group available to me (whoever should've paid the £20 per month fee wasn't paying it) and not sure where to go for help but I'm starting to think our latch isn't right.

yes, is freezing here, apparently it is snowing fairly near here. hope we do get comp. keeping annabelle wrapped up with me to keep her warm.

skorpion sorry about your frightening childbirth experience but your story, along with the ventouse delivery on that amanda Holden program last night, just brings home to me how easily things can go wrong in childbirth. I know it wasn't what you would've hoped for, but the most important thing is that you & baby are both ok. Very traumatic though, hope you are ok x

sleepless poor you. I'm glad your mum's there to help. I do get a 4 hour break sometimes, but in the evening it is constant. I've been feeding since 8pm with 5 min breaks (this is quite good as last night it started at 6) and he's showing no signs of letting up. DH is giving him skin to skin at the moment, but it's just making James cross that there's no milk there. Had better get back to it...

claire one of my nipples really hurts and the other is just quite sore, but they are not supposed to hurt at all when you have it right. Apparently it is normally a latch problem. Could you ask your midwife or health visitor to watch you feed and tell you if it looks right? Mine has helped a lot. They also said to ring the hospital for advice at any time and they could send someone around if I wanted. Actually they've been bending over backwards to help me. I think maybe I'm lucky that there is a low BF uptake here.

claire you can also ring La Leche League or the NCT for advice, but I think it helps to have someone look at what you are doing if you can.

am i a bad mum to wish that babies were born with an 'off; switch?

scarlotti not sure if u can do a dream breast feed i used it for my first bottle of formula, however they also need to be asleep and last nite she was wide awake from 7-11... T

Lemontop not at all!!! We all wish they had an off switch sometimes. It does get better, I swear.

Morning ladies, Hope you're all well on this cold frosty (snowy?) morning. We seem to be having problems with the sleeping pattern at night. I'm feeding every 1.5 hrs from about 1.30am. DH gives a bottle of forumla at 12pm and then I bf through the early hours. He has become a little night owl and then wants to sleep lots during the day. It's hard not to allow him to sleep because I want to rest due to my lack of sleep, also dealing with my 4 yr old and giving him one to one attention. I'm going to have to try and sort this out. Gina Ford? I've been hearing of her routine advice that some of you ladies have been talking of. I will look into routines today and see if I can start a fresh tomorrow. Also he doesn't want to sleep anywhere but in our bed. But the funny thing is he wants his space and if I'm too close he gets agitated, so I have to squeeze onto DH's side of the bed. Not easy!

To those who have bf before, when does the bf ease up during the night? DS is nearly 7 weeks old. He has piled on lots of weight, born at 8lbs and now 11 lbs 5ozs! Sorry for the me, me post, I'm feeling so sleep deprived!

I am now going to read all your posts and try and catch up with you all!

Fruit Gina Ford is a bit rigid but the basic premise sleep wise is at the moment you'd be looking at 12 hours at night with 4 to 5 hours naps in the day. Obviously this is an average.
He should be able to be more aware of day and night now so should respond if you try and turn it around. Keep night time quiet, no communication or eye contact if you can and just feed then back to sleep. Day is more lively, lots of interaction. My DS is also 4 so I get him to show Ioan his toys and things to keep them both occupied.
Once day and night turn around for you, the bf should too. I get woken twice after 10pm feed, normally about 2 and about 5 then we're up about 7 or 8am.
It might be tough to turn it around but it should sort itself out in a few days if you're consistent.

claire my nipples are sore again after it all being fine. My latch is ok as far as I know. I think if they feed more then they get sore and also I changed breast pads and these don't seem as good at keeping me dry so am wondering if that is also the cause.
It shouldn't hurt when you feed, but until your nipples are used to it it will be sensitive. Hang in there.

Bryn still has this damn cold, so is feeding prehaphs for ten minutes every hour and a half, if that sometimes, because he has a sore throat. my nipples are killing me again.

Just out of interest, how much do your babies sleep in 24 hours? Toby is nearly 5 weeks and sleeps about 10 hours over night (awake 1-2 hours for feeds), and three main naps in the day about 4-5 hours and one catnap in the evening 1 hour so 15-16 hours in total.

Why won't my baby sleep in his moses basket? I can't do anything! Seriously, he feeds probably 45 min-1 hourly through the night, and early morning til, well about now. And then he sleeps on me til about 4pm then 1 hourly again. He will sleep soundly on me for a couple of hours, and in his moses basket he sleeps - ZERO hours! Last night, I slept upright, again, with him on my chest. He woke DD up he cried so loudly and insistently when I put him in his basket.

I have tried sitting on the mattress to warm it, put a smelly t-shirt in it, or wrapped him in one (well on top of his blanket), I have rocked him in it, held my hand on his tummy/chest, put him down while asleep, while awake.

AAAARGH!.

Now he is on my lap, looks awkward and he is out for the count!

tamlin and scarlotti thanks for the advice re ds' waking. He woke up last night at about 2.30am and wouldn't stay in his bed so dh put the stairgate up and explained to ds why he had done it. Cue ds crying for mummy and daddy cuddles until morning. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew it was 4.30am and ds was still crying and shouting, I felt terrible Dh got up at 5am and ds was calling for him, basically he didn't sleep at all from 2.30am onwards, I had a rubbish night and feel absolutely shattered again. In fact the only person who did get a good night was Millie!

I took ds to nursery this morning and he must have been exhausted because he fell asleep in the car on the way there! I took him in and he woke up but looked very sleepy so I bet he sleeps there, not really how I want him to spend his time there but hey ho! Anyway, Scarlotti thanks for saying about it taking 3 nights to work, I was ready to chuck in the towel already but will keep going now!

Erika Poor Bryn, hope he feels better soon and gives your nips a rest!

bbl Millie tends to sleep most of the day and night, would be easier for me to tell you when she is actually awake! She has an alert time first thing in the morning for about 30 mins, then at lunch, early evening and just before bed at 10pm. Basically she is probably only awake for a few hours, am sure that won't last long so am making the most of it!

pavlov It's so annoying when they won't sleep in there moses basket, I ended up buying a cot to go beside the bed and Millie sometimes sleeps in that but mainly wants to snuggle up to my boob! I just don't think moses baskets are that comfy for them, not like lying on us anyway!

Sorry I can't remember any other posts, my brain is a mess! Whoever said about their heating, I hope the electricity company sorts it out for you soon.

Right, better write some xmas cards and do some housework before I collect ds...

Hi ladies. I didn't want to hijack the thread so started a new one. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I'm really not sure what to do and am sitting here crying and scared of the next feed. Thanks.

sore