NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Congratulations claired! What a labour story! We're nearly all here now!

Comma What's your book called? I'm trying to read about different sleep techniques as I really want to not be going to bed when Lukas does...

Had a strange night, I noticed late afternoon that I didn't seem to have much milk but didn't think anything of it. Went for a long walk and then ended up going to do the shopping. Came home, Lukas was ravenous... And I had no milk, despite him not having fed for nearly 4hrs. So... He was frustrated and angrily crying at the boobs, I was panicking... After over an hour of screaming he finally gave up. I was frantically googling and gulping gallons of water. Finally started to fill up and Lukas had a small feed and fell asleep. It seems that while BFing, you shouldn't get hungry, thirsty, tired or stressed...

Anyway, I'm hoping the draught is temporary.

Hope you've all had lovely Saturday nights.

Broodzilla I noticed the little milk thing too yesterday- was so tired and achy I could hardly walk in the evening and had little milk all through night whereas usually boobs bursting. You can try having some oatmeal, that helps some women (me, for one, if I'm no too tired to go get some).
The book is called Healthy sleep habits, happy child. It has helped me quite a bit with dd1 and I just dug it out again for Esme (and dd1 needs some treatment too, has been waking up lately at night). It's nice as it has a weekly breakdown for the beginning but still covers everything up to teens.

Scarlotti can't believe you have a 15 yo dd. That must be nice now (even though hard in your 20s).

ooh, dinner! Nighty night.

congratulations claird!

re routine think its worth a try, at week 3 we started putting DD2 down for evening at same time as DD1 and it works pretty well most of the time

re. b/feeding in public, lots of good places like rooms in mothercare etc but sometimes u just have to brave it or go back to the car! i got a brestfeeding shawl which is discrete but you can use scarfs etc

Comma she is a great help now though and was always happy to babysit for us. I might wait until Ioan is a little older before we leave her with him too!
She's quite glamorous now - makes me feel proud and old all at the same time!!

Brood I've noticed that the milk doesn't flow if I'm getting agitated. If Ioan wakes up after along sleep, he's starving and the milk doesn't come instantly so he bats my breasts with his fists. If I get stressed then it doesn't flow and so the cycle continues. As soon as I chill (normally by doing something else like look at the tv and absorb what's happening) it starts to flow. The one thing guaranteed to not make it flow is to think 'come on milk, flow'!
I've also read that around 5 to 6 weeks your body knows how much milk to produce and so the heavy full boobs go. Some women mistake this for losing their milk and so top up with formula .. net result is that then you do stop producing.

Well, we had a more unsettled night last night. I think that it's because he didn't feed lots in the evening and also because his sleep was all over the place yesterday. His big sleep didn't happen until 3pm.
That book of yours sounds good Comma, I might look out for it.

Re. routine. We started bathing (with classical music in the background - he seems to like it!), feed and putting Toby to bed at about 8.30pm every night at 2 weeks old. It works really well. He goes off very nicely Then I eat tea quickly and go to bed shortly afterwards at about 9.30pm!

Off to in-laws for Sunday lunch as Uncle Paul is visiting to exhange Christmas presents with his partner Simon. Have we got them Christmas presents? Nope! So will be a tad embarrassing as we have nothing to give them. But he is DH's brother and therefore his responsibility for getting presents...hmmm.

Bryn is very aggitated today, keeps crying like he's in pain. His nappies are slightly green again like they were when he was ill Hate it when he cries like that, breaks my heart!

Slightly intimate question for anyone that gave birth in stirrups. Any of you having issues mentally around sex? sighs Physically I'm fine, back to normal, but laying down in "position" if you will is very difficult. I keep thinking about the birth. It wasn't a particularly traumatic birth, I got off very easily really. But still. I keep remembering how much it hurt and how frightened I was, about him and me. Does that make sense? Any advice about how to cope?

Erika i'm not there yet, only 2wks after the birth, but I've read that having sex again can often bring back memories of the birth so you're not alone. I think it can happen to partners to a lesser extent as well. Not sure how to deal with it other than talking to your DP.

claired21, just wanted to say that I think you did FABULOUSLY to get to 8-9 cm without any gas and air!

Erika, I think I spent the first year of DS 1's life in a bit of a state of mourning over my lost life - I moved away, finished my studies, gave up my job and stopped my rowing, all at once, for the sake of my lovely baby who nonetheless was a LOT of hard work! I think it's a rare woman who doesn't feel some loss of personal identity after becoming 'Mummy'. For me (as others have said), it wasn't helped by the fact that none of my friends had started sprogging yet and were still having lovely dinner parties and weekends away in nice locations - but now quite a few are trying to conceive, all starry-eyed, and I look at them and chuckle evilly to myself.

We're still swings-and-roundabouts as far as sleep goes over here - last night, he went down angelically at 7.30 pm, the night before, he roared his head off for ninety minutes before passing out at 10 pm. And he's eight weeks old today, so theoretically, we're past the worst of the fussy sleeping time?!

Argh. I don't know why I thought BF would be easier this time just because I'd done it before. Every feed feels like a struggle at the moment and I'm really losing confidence . I keep trying to remind myself that I struggled with DD until about 3/4 weeks, but it is really stressing me out. This morning it took me 40 minutes just to get him latched on and my nipple was so sore from all the nipping. This afternoon he just doesn't seem to want to feed at all. I'm also getting worried as tomorrow is the first time he's being weighed that they'll expect him to have gained weight, and I'm scared in case he hasn't.

Erika I still get pangs of envy for my old life. I was the first of my gang to have a baby 3 years ago and am still the only one. I do get jealous when they talk about nights out etc. or when I see that all their careers are progressing, while mine continues to regress , but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I took quite a while before I could enjoy sex again last time. Partly it was to do with my scar taking a long time to heal, but also I couldn't relax properly. I think DH found it a bit strange to start with too.

Hi all

We had a good time at the in-laws today but hard work getting Toby to have naps ... I think he sensed he wasn't at home.

Laugs hang on in there.

I can't really think about sex yet. Just can't get in the mood physically or mentally. DH is being very affectionate though, I think he knows that that is exactly all I need right now.

I'm with you all regarding missing old life. The thing I miss most is being spontaneous, making a decision to do something and not having to spend 2 hours getting yourself and the kids organised first!

With ds we it took about 9 weeks before we had sex again and even then, I can't say I enjoyed it as such. This time we will be waiting even longer. We've decided my dh will be having a vasectomy as we are definitely done on the kids front. Firstly because we always just wanted the 2 and secondly just because I really do not do labour well at all, both were tres traumatic. So there'll be no bedroom action for us until that has been done!

We're done with children too. Not sure what method of baby-stopping we will be using though. Ideally I'd like DH to go for the chop as I don't like the pill particularly and don't fancy having things inserted.

I think we'll wait until my 6 week check (which is when Toby is 8 weeks strangely enough) to go there anyway. On both previous occassions it took me a while to get in the mood again. After DS1 when I had a third-degree tear and stitches I was terrified but it was fine. This time I had just a tiny graze so I'm not nervous, just not in the mood at all yet. I love my sleep too much.

Toby is strapped to my chest as I type this. It must be evening! He's so lovely. DH told me to watch X Factor while he baths the other DSs but left me with Family Fortunes. Hmm.

Hello all. Still all over the place here but thought I'd put down some snap shots of my birth story before it all becomes a total blur.

Thursday 3rd Dec a friend comes to visit, as she leaves at 3.30pm she says "It probably means nothing but the last four pregnant people I visited had their babies that day".

At 4.30pm I started getting contractions 5 mins apart from the off. (Bearing in mind they couldn't reach my cervix for a sweep the day before.)

Went to hospital about 8.30pm and got in the bath. Had IV antibiotics in my hand whilst in the bath.

Was having coupling contractions which was not too pleasant.

Felt like I needed the loo and waters went in a massive gush. Hobbled back to the bed and knelt on the floor and waters just kept flooding from me.

At 1.30am they did an internal and was 7cm which mw was quite surprised by as I was quite quiet (hypnobirthing).

I don't know when I got to 10cm but at some point I did. Just remember my body pushing three times per contraction. Then four times.

Babies heart rate kept dipping and disappearing so had to attach a probe to his head.

By 7.00am he was in trouble. Back to back with head up.

After 15 hrs that was the end of my drug free labour, was rushed to theatre, given a spinal and an EMCS.

My mw was amazing and she even visited me on the ward the next evening.

I had my partner and best friend there also and they were both fantastic. My partner never left my side and my bf was quiet as a mouse but cleaned, pumped up my birthball and did all the things that meant my dp could stay with me.

The anethatists and theatre staff were brilliant as well. By the time I got there I was pretty delirious and kept begging for a tummy tuck.

Everyone was in blue scrubs including dp who I just remember saying as we were wheeled in "when this babies born he's going to think he's a Smirf". I think we were both in some sort of hysteria by this point.

At 7.30am Baby Alfred was here, screaming his lungs out "that's an angry toddler you've got there" said the very handsome camp anethatist and at 10lb 15oz he was not too wrong.

Ninja 10lb 15oz?!?!?! Lordy. You were very brave to labour so long drug free. Am not surprised he wasn't descending easily at that size - hope you are ok with the way it all went and are healing ok now. Has the mastitis passed yet?

Well done

Laugs hang on in there with the bf. Ioan is now 5 weeks and I'm just starting to find it easier.

Have melons again tonight though, his cluster feeding of a few nights ago has obviously done the job now if I can just get him to feed to empty them and give me some relief ....

Sex?! Am the same as the rest of you I think ... not sure I'm mentally ready to go there just yet but probbly won't be too much longer. Whether I'll stay awake long enough for it though is another matter ...!

'Don't mind me, darling, I'm just going to catch a few winks while you're at it... but do wake me up if the baby needs me, ok?!'

Tamlin very funny!

I actually feel quite human today

Just been to watch DS1 and DS2 in the school nativity. Oh My God how lovely and tearful. DS1 was a 'stallholder' and DS2 a star. They made me cry singing 'little donkey' with all the other children. You guys with first babies - just you wait until you watch your little ones at Christmas - you will cry!

I've finally caught up with this thread. It's amazing to hear all the different birth stories. I don't think I'll post mine for the moment but might come back to it (it's nothing terrible, I'm just too tired to think about it)

Anyway, I think we all did brilliantly

TOK that's so true that it's not being able to do things on the spur of the moment that I miss (meeting a friend for coffee that turns into lunch, then drinks...) but BBL is also right - we have Christmas! Most of my child-free friends still think it's about getting pissed on Xmas Eve, snogging unsuitable men and then having to deal with the extended family and a thumping hangover on Christmas Day. It's DD's xmas party/ show at nursery today - can't wait. I bet your little star and stallholder were gorgeous Becky

I've just seen the BF advisor again (4th time in a week!) and she got me into a really good position on my bad side. Just hope I can remember it next time. The good news is he's putting on weight - yay . I started panicking last night about the feeding so we weighed him on Wii Fit, but it's nice to have it confirmed by proper MW scales! They haven't discharged me from midwife care even though it's day 10, but I'm actually relieved as I'm getting a lot of help with the BF at the moment and I don't feel ready to be left on my own.

Hope everyone's feeling well today

I can't remember the last time I snogged an unsuitable man! That was a loooong time ago. And being hungover on Christmas Day? Christmas with children is very special - the DSs are sooo excited.

Helpful PSA: when you let your toddler 'help' decorate the Christmas tree, all your ornaments wind up clustered in a tight-knit group at the front of the tree and no higher than two foot off the floor.

Last night, Arthur grizzled and grumped until 10 pm (overtired, clearly, but I'm blessed if I know how to get him down on schedule). Then he slept until 4 am - an unprecedented six-hour stint. The only problem was that I had to get up at 3 am and pump because my breasts were too painfully engorged to let me sleep. I know I should be grateful that I have a good supply, but honestly, it HURTS. I can't wait until they settle down at the four-month mark.

Anyne up for a gross/funny tale of baby bodily fluids?

Last night Rosa was awake and screaming for 2 hours straight, then just as she got back on the boob and seemed to be calming down, she was sick ALL over my chest and it rebounded back onto her face/head . Actually quite amusing to look back on but not at half 3 in the morning at the time. She's been ok today but just after I'd changed her we were sitting having a feed (do we ever do anything else?) on the sofa and she pooed and it slid right out of her nappy, down my arm and down the side of the sofa.

Nice.

I'm not worried she's actually ill as she is chilled out for the rest of the time. Do you think this is a good call? So, don't really know how I am feeling human today but somehow the second wind has kicked in...helps I've had a lovely restful couple of days since rellies went home. DH on other hand has a stinking headache and has been napping all morn while I went to shops at end of road.

That brings me to another Q - ladies with stitches past or present - any timeframe on how long they take to heal? I'm on Day 11 here with a double episiotomy (ouch!) and they are still painful/swollen/tender enough to be taking regular painkillers. Normal? Perhaps I'll have the joy of the MW inspecting them when she comes tomorrow...

I'm struggling to keep up with the thread so sorry for not going into detail with how everyone is.

Laugs I'm glad the bf'ing guidance is helping, and I hope you can remember what to do next time! Leah was 4 weeks yesterday and I'm now at a stage of it not taking over my life! It's not painful anymore and I'm more comfortable doing it (well apart from backache its causing!). Still doing bottles at night which I'm glad about. Ran out of formula yesterday and so had to bf her last night and was up a lot more!

BBL glad you're feeling more human today! Glad that the christmas play went well. I saw dd1 in hers last week and it was so sweet! I didn't cry this year, although I did last year! She was, of course, the only child who had to go out to use the toilet, but at least she was sitting at the end so noone else really noticed!!

Leah and I are doing pretty well. She has started wanting lots more cuddles and crying quite loudly to let me know it! She is however the cutest thing ever and so I don't mind cuddling her! She's currently asleep, in her snowsuit (we'd been out for a walk earlier!) looking angelic! She gets weighed on Wednesday and I'm sure she will have put on loads of weight as she does rather like her milk!! I am feeling much better in myself. Stitches have healed up now although still suffering a bit with piles (I think) so going to toilet is a bit painful (sorry tmi). Thinking of getting some senekot tablets to see if that helps - has anyone used them?

I've just wrapped up all of dd1's christmas presents! She is so excited and I can't wait to see her face on Christmas morning. All the others that have said it are right, there is nothing better than seeing the kids on Christmas morning I need to sort out some bits for Leah for Christmas as otherwise dd1 will be wondering why santa forget about her!

Sorry, forgot to say congratulations to Ninja and wow at 10lb 15oz!!

Raggie couldn't help but laugh at your story, but as someone rather squimish, it has made me go 'ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' a lot too! Poor you!

raggie I too had the projectile vomit while on my boob last night but alas no poo trickling down my arm... Consider it a sign of affection.

I am also of the opinion that Ethan isn't ill as he is fine apart from the odd bout of sickness, which I think might be my fault as I ate far too much chocolate yesterday. Is it true that babies can be very sensitive to changes in our diet?

Oh yeah and I stopped taking painkillers at day 14 after my episiotomy. Still feel a little tender but no longer in need of pain relief.