NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Pav, Paula had jaundice too but just a little bit! I think it is normally easy to "treat" when they only get it a couple of days after birth. They recommended me to breastfeed a lot (even if they actually get it because of breastmilk) and daylight seems to be good too as a lot of the thing that makes them yellow comes out by the skin and gets "distroyed" by UV light. So I put the moses basket on the table next to the window and put her in there half naked.
scarlotti, I have noticed that I was always feeling rubbish and had to cry after having had friends over for a nice visit (which I always enjoyed). But apparently it made everything a bit more chaotic and stressful so easier for me to feel down.
But you shouldn't worry about Ioan, he will be fine and will just be used to the fact that he has to share you. I guess it is always much more difficult for the older children to suddenly share mummy. He might even get quicker more independent. I am the third of four children and turned out fine... well don't ask my lovely brothers, they might disagree .
As for working from home, I don't really have any serious tips for you.

BBL I'm in IT, software design mainly. Will try and look for any home based stuff when the time comes but not sure how easy it will be to find. I might have to go back in April although if I can eak out the money to cover May I'd be happier. I want to wean him myself if possible as then he'll be in full time childcare.

Ursi I think you're right, it was the chaos of it all this morning that upset me as I could see how easy it will be to snap more at DS1 as I'm stressed hopefully by the time work actually comes around I'll be taking things more in my stride. I think it will be fine for Ioan as he will know no different - it's me probably that will be upset by it all!

Scarlotti I would feel optimistic that you can find work in that line to do from home. It might take some effort to do a bit of networking initially though... DH works in IT and he worked from home for about 3 years until he got offered a full-time job. He managed to earn a full-time wage during that time. He worked in software design and IT training.

Toby is having variable naps at the moment: either two hours or half an hour!

This is a strange biproduct (not the right word but can't think of right word) of Toby's arrival. Our two cats have really bonded with each other! Previously they just co-existed and were rarely seen together and now they sleep together on the bed in the room Toby's basket is in (mine and DH's bedroom) and they are always together in the same room and they 'play' while I am feeding Toby. It's almost like they have become closer in the face of this new, screaming, noisy, strange being that has entered their house. Weird.

BBL, LOL at your cats! I would watch them, they might be planning something

Thanks all, sorry for rushing off. I was half naked in bed and MW turned up! Well she called to say she had just parked up!

Reuben is doing great, his jaundice is visibly reduced. Iwas not too concerned as everything else is fine with him. But it is nice to be reassured. He is sleeping lots and feeding probably 1-2 hourly but pleased to say he is no longer hurting my nipples. I get the odd twinge on left side if he catches it wrong but it is not excrutiating for whole feed like it has been.

to all those with DHs who are not pulling their weight. DH said, with DD, he felt quite useless for the first 6-8 weeks, when we were establishing a routine. But he did help with night time nappy changes, even when he was working the next day. He would get me drinks/biscuits when feeding. This time with dc2 he has it sorted. He is keeping on top of the house (as only a man can ) and doing the laundry, being predominant carer for DD, cooking, fetching, carrying etc and also doing some nappy changes. He said, as he is not working it is the least he can do, take the opportunity to ensure i rest and get feeding/sleeping established and heal well. He does still manage to find time to play x-box though . I definitely feel he is able to know how to do things and what things help, much better this time around. My friend, who has a DD aged 3.5 months found, before her DP went overseas to work that he played x-box a lot and lie in until midday. He 'looked after' the baby in the evening while she slept, which meant, her in her bouncy chair, friend in bed asleep, when baby needed feeding, he would take her up to feed, and do nappy change 'while she was there' bring her back town til 3am. But his excuse was he had worked hard all summer without a break and this was his 'weekends off' .

I think, as others have said, DH is not exception, men need clear straightforward requests. I always ask DH for what i want, no confusion that way
Moses basket - like many others, Reuben is not impressed with the moses basket, he managed a whole 30 mins in it last night...woop! And prefers to sleep with us. Problem with that is poor DD got up at 5am as her nappy leaked and came downstairs for a cuddle while DH changed her bed, and Reuben was in bed with us, then we sent her back to her own bed would have been better if he was in the moses basket. She did not appear to mind, but i am sure it has made an impression.

pav dd1 doesn't mind baby in bed either- she thinks its a terrific doll or something. When I get up in the morning and don't bring baby out she'll meet me with a frown and a 'where's baby??' She's more jealous I get to sleep with baby than other way around.

Thanks Sleepless v good to know I'm not the only one with a heavy perineum...

In general, dd1 is much better with baby. Very careful, gives lots of kissies,no secret or 'accident' attacks. She's good with us too; challenging as in toddler, but nothing like last week.

dd1 and baby both sick (us too).... I was wondering too last night at what point to go to hospital with baby gasping for breath. could that be croup? I don't really know what croup is but seem to think it has to with mucous and gasping?
Esme is much better during the day, so not ready to go to doctor yet, but maybe better?

Pav glad Reubens jaundice is getting better, must be a relief.

scarlotti hope you find some work you can do from home, but try and put it out of your mind for now, you've enough on your plate at the moment!

I am so tired today, Millie was really restless last night, wouldn't sleep in her cot, just wanted to be snuggled next to my boob! Then ds woke up and once he got back to sleep Millie woke again. I am absolutely shattered. Ds woke me up before 6am this morning too, am really trying to remain patient with him but I feel quite ratty and have snapped a few times. Oh well, the grandparents are taking him out this afternoon so will try and catch up on some sleep and hopefully that will make me a nicer mummy! Dh was meant to be going out on a work do tonight but has cancelled as we are both knackered.

Can't remember what else I was going to say, hope everyone else is ok, sorry to hear about sibling and dh issues. Ds is being great with Millie and is a good boy most of the time but definately has his moments. Not sure if it is the terrible twos or sibling rivalry though. Dh has been a star but then like others have said, this is baby number two and they have to step up a gear!

Oh I remember now! Wanted to add to broodzilla when ds was 4 weeks old he had mastitis (apparently babies can get it from our hormones) and the doctor told me to give him Calpol. Even though he was 4 weeks doctor said it was fine and that some hospitals give it to newborns. Hope that makes you feel better about giving it to your ds!

comma my ds is the same as your dd, it's always kisses and cuddles for Millie but I'm an afterthought now!

geez, millie is such a cute name...can't help smiling everytime i read it.

Fruitpastels, I have the same spray-covering-baby's-face thing happening. Arthur likes to pull off when the letdown first hits so he doesn't choke, and wait politely for things to settle down a bit - in the meantime, EVERYTHING gets sprayed with milk! V. messy, but it will all calm down in time.

Re. reflux and breastfeeding - with DS 1, we were prescribed Gaviscon powder which we mixed up with boiled water and fed to him with a syringe while I was nursing. Less fuss than expressing!

I took Arthur to the HV for weighing today, and it appears that my kid ate all the pies - he's now 11 lb 3 oz, and up to the fiftieth percentile after starting out on the seventh. Apparently those endless night feeds are doing something - I could've guessed as his narrow-boned little face has now entirely disappeared in jowls, and his eyes look like two little currants in a round bun!

helips thanks for reassuring me. who knew babies can get mastitis?!
Scarlotti Thanks for correcting me re the poo - I obvioulsy got all jumbled up about what I'd read! Interesting that the seeds mean hind milk is being processed!

(OMG, do you even know how many times I swore that I'd never be one of "those" mums... you know, the ones who discuss poo colour, texture and frequency at every opportunity... )

Also, feeling blue... erm, I can't remember if I told you already (am so sleep deprived that I feel drunk and have no short term memory...) that I took Lukas to the GP on Monday after Health Visitor had listened to his strange breathing over the phone and told me to bundle him up and take him in for an emergency appointment? Well, I was bordering on hysterical when I got there, and ended up crying while they were checking him over. I got the whole "you need rest" and "have you got anyone to help" treatment and knew what they were thinking and sure enough, got a call yesterday from the Health Visitor asking if I have plans for Monday because she wants to come over for a chat.

In all honesty, spent much of yesterday crying. I cried every time Lukas woke himself up howling in pain, I cried when I gave him Calpol, I cried when it clearly made him feel better and he smiled, I cried when I went to bed... I was just so exhausted. We had a better night last night (only up every two hours...) and I do feel more human and far less emotional today.
Having said that, apparently anxiety can be a symptom of PND. I just think - what mother would NOT be anxious with a child who's struggling to breathe?

Anyway, I clearly am on some sort of watch-list so will let you know how Monday goes.

Funny that you're all talking about (no) more babies... we went shopping on Sunday, I needed two coats, one smart one and one casual. Picked two (gotta love outlet villages, I spent next to nothing) and as I was trying them on at home I found myself really pleased when I discovered that the zipper on one also opens from below and the other is that funny cape-y design that would have room for a bump. I was all at myself but going by you it's a normal hormonal reaction...
And no matter how knackered I am, I love Lukas (still can't quite get my head around the fact that I'm a mother...) so much that I'd definitely like him to have a sibling some day. Not until he's toddling though. ;)

God I am anxious all the time - esp about getting enough sleep and Toby getting enough sleep. Toby is just not napping today at all - he really has 'woken up' but he can't cope being awake for so long and gets hysetrical. I thought the anxiety gets better around 6 months.

Brood glad it's not just me then I think it's easy to forget that we're sleep deprived and so our perception of things probably is slightly skewed!
I feel a bit better now as I've managed to wash the dishes and have done both nursery runs. Now I just have to make it through to 7pm when DS1 goes to bed!!

Tamlin great weight gain from Arthur! Makes all the hassles of bf worthwhile when you see the scales keep going up I think.

DH has been good here too, to be fair. Whilst he managed to get through a few books (which I was more envious of than anything!) he did all the cooking whilst off on paternity leave and also hoovered the house a few times. He did most of DS1's care so I could establish a good routine. It is different with subsequent babies.
Tonight he's out on an xmas do though so dinner, bath and bed for the 2 younger DC's is down to me ... wonder what will go by the wayside?! Have already bought ready made pizzas for tea!

broodzilla my dear, really sounds like you are very exhausted and possibly coming down with PND. It doesn't help to have baby so sick, it's all scary enough as it is first time around. I was awake most of last night with gasping baby, repeating 'it's just snot, it's just snot' over and over to calm myself while spraying saline and sucking aforesaid snot for hours on end. Great big hug and take care of yourself maybe it'll all blow over soon. No shame in being treated for PND though, much better to catch it and be happy (still tired, mind).

I am freakishly hungry all the time- much worse than when pregnant. spend most of the time with one (fat) foot in the fridge. Not going into Esme either, as weight steadily creeping up.

Becky Anxiety gets better after 6 months? I was just wondering if there were milestones where you can have a little sigh of relief (you know, like when you're 12 weeks pregnant, and then the 20 week scan, and then the 25 weeks viable baby...)

Scarlotti Must say my emotions seem fickle as I've now hysterically giggled at the fact that you "feel a bit better now as I've managed to wash the dishes and do two nursery runs" (only because I've just managed to clean the cooker and do two loads of washing and thought exactly the same!)It's the little things in life... or something...

Pavlov Meant to say good news about the jaundice but forgot...

Comma ... maybe you're right after all... I keep repeating "there's nothing wrong with me I'm just tired" but I suppose that won't help if indeed there IS something wrong. It's just that I've never been here before so don't really know what's normal.

Don't you wish babies didn't insist on breathing through their noses even with a cold? The doctor said they really only breathe through their mouths when they're crying. I found Baby-nose-clear drops (that really is the name, from Boots) worked quite well. Hope you manage to shake the bug soon.

Oh brood you poor love, hope Lukas is better soon, the worry and sleep deprivation will make you feel down, that and the new mum hormones! Be kind to yourself and know that you are doing a brill job, Lukas will be better before you know it and hopefully will give you more chance to sleep at night. Don't be worried about talking to the health visitor, that is what she is there for and won't be judging you.

comma I am really hungry all the time too, just eaten a whole massive bar of chocolate and now feel guilty! I'm breastfeeding but eating like a horse so despite what people say to the contrary the weight is NOT falling off me! Thats sweet what you said about Millie's name, I call her Milly moo a lot, or sometimes just moo moo! I'm a bit strange like that

Tamlin thats great about Arthurs weight, you must feel so proud!

So how do you tell the diffference between just being anxious / baby blues hormones and proper PND? What are the symptoms? I've found all three babies a time of great anxiety for me, esp the first weeks. I found 'sleeping through the night' a huge, huge milestone (when that happens is anyone's guess really - between 8 weeks and 6 months depending on the baby?) and also when you feel there's a bit of a routine to your life again.

Comma, if you're worried I would call gp. Anya was gasping for breath on Sunday, took her to out of hours docs and they confirmed a chest infection. I'm not saying your lo will be the same but it'll put your mind at rest.

Brood I also cried like a baby for about an hour when I took Anya to the docs. I just couldn't stop. It's good to let it out, they're just so little and it's that feeling of helplessness and wanting to take the sickness away from them. Agree with Comma, just be honest about your feelings with hv, they're there to help.

helips on nicknames, Annabelle unfortunately gets called 'Mini Baby Bel' sometimes. its a bit cheesy

Cheesy ha ha ha!

Toby is Toby Toes, Mr Toes or Thumper.

Bbl My ds is a Toby and mainly gets Toby-woby, or sometimes just woby. (sometimes Toblerone, is because of a dream that Dh had when I was pregnant with him involving a Toblerone factory. which is random, altho not named for this reason)

Broodzilla, I think it is good that the HV is coming over for a chat. I guess for someone from outside it is easier to say if you are "just" normally exhausted or really having PND. I am in fact impressed that they react so quickly. And obviously it must be really difficult with poor Lukas suffering since such a long time. You are doing a great job with taking care of him and that is what counts. House, laundry, dishes,... are really not important.

Have seen the HV myself today because of Paula's navel... and have to go back for an emergency appointment with the GP. But it doesn't seem to be an emergency, they just need to put silvernitrate on it as inside there is something red, not healed. Didn't understand and forgot the name of it. First she said it was ok, as she didn't see the inside but then she stretched the navel, so it opened more and there it was... She was actually the first doing that everytime we talked about the navel to someone.
Ok, I'll better start my feeding, changing, dressing thing, as the appointment will be in an hour

pmsl at baby bel cheesey nickname!

HAH, loving all the nicknames! DH keeps calling Lukas Lucozade. not sure about that one...