Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

Hello everyone,

NJAN You have been given some really good advice there. You could give talking to someone a go and see if it is right for you.

I made a cake in the shape of a car for my brother when I was about 12! What we did was make a plain loaf cake and cut bits off into a car shape. Add lots of icing (do blue, I did red and it went pink!), wheels etc and ta dah! We then put it on top of another cake so there was plenty of actual cake. It goes without saying that the bits that gets chopped off get eaten by the cook , so no wastage.

trace DD did the same before bathtime yesterday. She seems to enjoy having a wee standing up! I mustn't let her follow DH to the bathroom anymore, it is giving her ideas .

My lovely NJAN, I am so sorry things are so tough for you. I have had counselling (tho not bereavement counselling) and found it hugely helpful i you get the right person. I've read that the relationship with one's mother i the most significant of one's life (whatever the actual relationship is like) and so coming to terms with your loss must be so hard. In addition, you have had lots of other things on your plate. Is there anything we as a group can do for you? Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way.

Daisy, am sending you a hug and a pint of cheerfulness. It does sound like a rotten situation for you all. Love and strength to you in the North as well.

All are a bit poorly here. M fed in the night like a new born so I am jaded. I'll try to be back later with more time and something a little more useful to say.

njan have been thinking about you today. You really have had it rough over the past year. I will pray for you and I hope that you do go for the counselling, I'm certain it will help you deal with everything that has happened to you lately.

lady you hit the nail on the head. They do appear to have 'given in'. She had a needle biopsy yesterday and they did keep her in overnight for observation. But they are keeping her in longer, not entirely sure why as yet. Will find out more when DH's aunt gets back from visits.

syb hope you have a better nights sleep tonight xx

I have a blinding headache, work was manic today (threw me in at the deep end - not a clue what I was doing), sprinted to the opticians where I was told I have gammy eyes and can't wear my contacts for a while, got stuck in traffic getting home, got to mums to get the DC's and then locked my keys in the bloody car! DH working late so had to get my Dad to take me home get the spare key back to mums to get the kids(and the car, DD threw major strop as I didn't have any sausages for tea (what is it with kids and sausages??)....just need to crawl into bed and forget today happened I think!!

Hi All

sorry I am not around much at the moment. I do read along every couple of days but I can never find time to write proper posts and I feel bad doing too many short "me" posts.

I would love to come to a meet-up. I could do 22nd but not many other days before crimbo and then after crimbo we are off to Devon for a week. I am really looking forward to that - a week in my fav part of the country, staying with friends and their kids in a big old farmhouse with roaring open fires etc. Bliss.

NJAN - I really felt for you when reading your post. I
lost my mum five years ago and it took me a good year to get through the worst of the grief and that was without anything else to deal with. The form of my grief took me by surprise as it manifested as extreme anxiety a lot of the time. I thought grief was all about yearning for the deceased so assumed my panic attacks were unrelated. I ended up going to the GP to report the anxiety and he referred me to a CBT therapist which would not be the conventional approach to bereavement counselling. Thankfully the CBT therapist was great and helped me see the bigger picture while teaching me coping strategies. It helped so much and I thank my lucky stars I got that referral. I hope you can find someone to help you in a similar way.

Daisy - your DH's reaction must be hard to cope with. It is difficult to get people to think logically when they are grieving (which it sounds like he is already doing). I wish I could think of a way you might encourage him to make the most of this time.

Spot - I hope the nursery settling is going better. If it is still difficult there are other routes that might suit T better. My DD1 never settled in nursery so we eventually withdrew her and found a nanny share. Because it was a share it was not too much more expensive and she flourished. She was just. Baby that needed consistent care by one trusted adult.

Waiting - as I wrote that para on nannies I realise I never responded to your FB message asking for advice on nanny searches. I am so sorry. How v rude of me. Are you still thinking of the nanny route?

LadyT - I went to D's gig last Sunday and feltso bad for him. Iw was half empty and the audience that was there was hard as a nut. He battled on valliantly but gosh it was a challenge. It was an amazing theatre though, right in the middle of a large disused office block.

Turnip - lovely to hear from you. Glad the op went well. Can I ask you what the age gaps between your three are? This is also a question for Syb. DH is obsessed with having another baby soon so all three are close together. He wants them to be a little gang. I do want number three but not for a few years but DH think he/she will always be left out and we will struggle to return to the baby years. I'm just not sure I can cope with three under five and we are just getting our lives back and the four of us rub along so nicely. How did you both decide whether and when to go for number three?

Right, better go and play with DD2 who is crawling round my legs shouting for attention. She is utterly enchanting at the mo. I love this age so much.

X

Hi All,

I'm sorry fot your losses Aub, Veggie, Lady T and anyone else I've missed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. It has really made such a difference and has encouraged me to actually talk to people in RL too, which has helped so much, even just in the course of one day ! Having the time off work has given me some time back to make phonecalls and catch up with people I havent spoken to for a while. I think its harder to admit you arent coping once you have kids, I dont know why, almost like there is some fear that they will be whisked away or something...

Its also very comforting to hear that I'm not going mad and that anxiety, struggling to cope etc are all normal. Thankyou. Thanks so much for your offer of help too, syb. The offer means a lot

That cake mould looks great, but I'm not sure I could do the decorating justice though, I'm a bit slapdash with icing.

DS1 and I have been making decorations this morning, snowflakes and father christmases to stick on our windows. This time of year is lovely

NJAN Grief can affect you in funny ways, adn anxiety does seem to be a common one. I second many peoples suggestion of counselling. My granny died last year, just before DD was born. She was 92 so really not a shock in some senses but she was killed by a careless driver so it was in others. Anyway my mum has found it very difficult to cope with and has been signed off work for most of the year (and is now retiring) - and she doesn't have two kids to cope with on top of that! So I think you are coping brilliantly, but should definitely considering talking to a professional - I'm sure your GP can refer you (my mum got her sessions that way).

Hello everyone else! Been a bit hectic with DD being ill (fine now, never did work out what it was!) then DH accidentally tipping her and the pram upside down and having to rush her to the doctor with a nosebleed - I thought she'd broken her nose and was going to KILL him but she was, thankfully for both her and him, fine! Now I am in the office with a stonking hangover, my first for nearly 2 years! I have not missed them. Went out for an NCT friends birthday last night and am suffering today. Tell you what, it's a lot easier to cope wiht a hangover at work than with a hyperactive wriggling baby!

Must also start planning for DD's birthday party on the 19th. Cake making, house-proofing...

Kiwi that is so sad about your nan. I know people say 'well she'd lived her life' but I think that it makes even sadder as having lived so long her life was taken in such a tragic way, at her age she deserved more respect and dignity in death. My nan died a little before her 90th birthday I adored her and no age would have been right for her to die, but again it was the way she died. She was in hospital rehabilitating and a nurse left her in the toilet alone. She tried to get out herself and fell and hit her head badly. She died the next day from a severe head injury. I must say she had often expressed in the weeks before that she was ready to die but only a few months later I was due to marry and my cousin who she had practically raised had her first child. They had an inquest and the hospital apologised but we all just felt that they had not treated nan with any respect, to them she was just a grumpy old women.

Oh that reminds me continueing on the sad note (sorry) I'm not sure if you remember late in November last year when my cousin was sadly killed in Afganistan? Well they have had an inquest into his death and apparently, I'm not sure of the details, but a senior officer stuffed something up with some bomb detection thing and that contributed to his death. It is obviously quite sad but sadder still is that the Australian media picked up on it and it was all over the TV so more pain for my aunt & uncle.

Oh and on a lighter note NJAN I used a pirate ship cake tin for DS1 and I was a bit daunted by the icing bit so I just bought some little tubes of icing from Ocado (oh my beloved Ocado, I miss you so) and just kind of put some detail on but left it mostly non iced.

evening.
Njan, Daisy I'm truly thinking of you and praying for you both. Your situations are so hard and certainly put my worries into perspective. IME talking to someone is a good thing.
Kiwi, Veggie such sad stories about your grandparents . As you said they deserved so much more than that in their deaths.
Tis Phoebe's birthday today. Lucy opened all her pressies and cards for her this morning (and played with the toys!), then this evening we had a chocolate cake (Lucy blew the candle out for P!) which Phoebe adored . I really can't believe she's a year old. I don't want her to grow up because I'm loving her so much as she is.
I've bought my secret santa stuff....must make sure I get round to posting it!
I can barely keep my eyes open so will say goodnight. Hope you all have good weekends xxx

Happy birthday baby P . I know what you mean about them getting bigger Trace. I got all sad today when I looked at DD. She's so big now. Sigh.

Njan - thinking of you. Such a lot to go through and so recently. Like others have said am sure it's worth trying counselling.

Daisy - I really hope your DH is doing a bit better. Poor bloke.

Veggie and Kiwi sad stories about your nans. My SIL had a rant the other day about the value people put on older people's lives. Quite right.

LadyT another kitchen thought is check out a local carpenter - prices vary massively. My parents have very old house and had local bloke build a kitchen for them and it was really cheap.

Eek baby awakes

Happy Birthday to Veggie & kayz's DS's! I hope you both have wonderful days and Kayz do we have pics yet of your cakes??

And trace happy birthday to P for yesterday.

DS bloody well constipated again, I do wonder what is going on with his bowels? His diet hasn't changed other than that I am trying to get more fruit/veg in him. he is a very lazy drinker so I wonder if this is the problem. How much fluids do others LO's drink?

Hello,
Thanks to those asking after me. I'm fine just really drained as I've had exams for work all week and it's been long days then commuting in traffic plus ds has been really unsettled at night with 3 back teeth coming through all together so Thursday I was up until 2am. The good side is dh has done well with having ds all day every day and subsequently does more then he used to when I'm here now and I don't have any concerns in that regard anymore.
I really haven't had a chance to do much more than a skim through - again - sorry, i'm turning into a serial skimmer, but I did pick up on a couple of things -

Lady, you can get a farmhousey style kitchen from Ikea too - they have all that.

Kiwi hope the nose and the hangover is ok!!

Sorry about sad Nan stories and Veggie cousin story

Hope things get brighter soon Njan

Still haven't got my Christmas tree yet and I'm planning on sorting my SS as soon as I'm finished this work stress which will be middle of the week I promise.

I'm shattered yet again - I think a nice bath later while I wait for my BBC curry and then an evening of x-factor

Happy birthday dear Jordy and Dylan. I hope you have had a wonderful day.

Daisy, boo to the constipation. You are having such a tough time just now, really feel for you and sending you all much love.

What are these exams you are doing Rubes? Sounds very hard your end too. Have a glass of lovely Merlot. Hope you can make it out for a night of cheerfulness. I think Dec is going to be too full for most, so shall we get a date in the diary for a Dec ladies london meet up in the New year? We can swap Christmas stories and MIL anecdotes - we need WG for that really, but I am sure my MIL can come up with a few corkers.

Love to all.

Happy Birthday Jordi!!! Hope you've had a wonderful day!!

Dylan has got loads of clothes which is great. We asked people not to get toys. So he has a few little toys which I can deal with.

His party went well so just have my brothers this evening. We have the same friends so I am so looking forward to seeing them all.

Evening all and happy birthday to Dylan today and P for yesterday. Thanks for Jordi's birthday wishes but they are a teeny bit early he turns 1 tomorrow, please give me a few more hours of my baby. Oh I can't believe he is nearly a year old, I was looking at his little hands today and they aren't little baby hands anymore there less puffy and chubby and more long and slim now like boy hands.

We aren't having a party obviously but we are going to a big park near here with an indoor pool in the middle of it. The pool has a little play pool area which sounds brilliant both boys love swimming so we thought it would be nice to go there then we'll have a special dinner together and also a nice pancake breakfast. I can't cook his cake but I'll buy a nice cake from a local patisserie and he can give it a whirl, im sure he'll like it. I'm also going to buy him some innocent smoothies, he has accidently tasted AK's and loves them so I'll let him finally have his own. I'm quite looking forward to spoiling him.

I'm a little concerned about DS1 he has had a dry cough for ages now, as we've moved and we have had to wait to get ourselves in the 'system' here I haven't been able to take him. It often sounds like he needs to clear his throat but it's dry. He also complains of being tired a lot and today he was saying he could 'hear his heart beating' I'm probably Reading way too much into it but I'm just worried. I recieved a letter from the local kids health service people so will pop in and see them on Monday. They seem quite on the ball just I can't understand the letter as it's in Dutch and both babelfish and google language tools don't completely make sense of it.

I hope you have a lovely time tonight happy 21st to your brother, very sweet that your DS2 & your brother have such significant birthdays together.

Rubes sorry to hear of your stress, but good that DH is helping out and also seeing how hard it can be at home.

Veggie I'm sorry you're worried about DS1. Hopefully the clinic will be able to reassure you. I think you're so fantastic the way you've coped with moving. I would have had melt down by now. Have a lovely lovely day tomorrow. Also at the risk of sounding all martha stewart I have only recently discovered that you can make pretty cool shapes with pancake batter if you put it in a piping bag or a plastic bag with the corner cut off. Because I am absolutely rubbish at these things DS has only had flowers and cars, but in my days working behind bars I could write all sorts on the top of a pint of guinness so am hoping that practice will help. Do come and see us next time you're this way - DS would love it - this morning he was nattering about seeing AK at the 'Royal Festival Ball'.

So glad you had a lovely day for Dylan Kayz and your brother. Am envious of your cake making. I found a fab recipe for cupcakes her on mumsnet. Do occasionally think I've got slightly over dependent - I have one of those 'what would elvis do' things about mumsnet and just look up whatever I'm struggling with. Speaking of which DS potty training is in severe regression. He now is insisting on peeing standing up which is slightly impractical but ok, but has developed a phobia of sitting on the loo and is pooing in his pants. Sorry TMI for those of you just with babies probably. But really starting to get me down. Any tips?

Aub - I've been rubbish and must FB you to say hello next time I'm at your work. Have been drinking too much mulled wine and eating mince pies at various christmas drinks. Yum.

Also WG, Aug reminds me that I too have been completely useless about nannies - I haven't logged onto facebook for months. Simplychildcare was the best site I found in the end - although gumtree was also worth it. Agencies were rubbish. We absolutely loved last series of BE. Made Thursday bathtimes about 1000 times more enjoyable.

Sigh. Was supposed to be at british comedy awards tonight but couldn't get a babysitter so DH is out with his school friends (where we were also supposed to be) and I'm in bed in my PJs. Oh the glamour. Today I specially bought a pair of thick woolly socks for wearing around the house when we go up north over christmas. What do you think northern girls - does this mean I am finally soft? That or finally old.

Rub am glad that you're happier with your DH doing more. Work sounds exhausting though. I'm struggling a bit. Although job is great it's a bit tricky managing it all part time. I got some feedback on a piece of work I was doing 10 minutes before I was supposed to be leaving for the week (from a female boss who has children - which somehow makes it worse). So had to drag the poor kids in on Thursday morning and try to convince DS that spinning round and round on my chair qualified as entertainment. Funnily enough he kept asking where the sofa was - in his head I obviously go to work and lounge about on a sofa.

Njan hope you've had an ok day. I found the Charles Linden book really good with anxiety. Will post to you if you like. Very helpful at separating physical symptoms from your mental state.

Yes yes to Jan meet up. For all my chat about babies birthday drinks I then singularly failed to organise anything. Rubbish.

Trace I only just read my post back from last night- sorry - must review before posting. And so she did.

Night all. I should be wrapping christmas presents, or doing my nails, or some work, or tidying up but can't be bothered to do anything. I think I have my first proper Mum crush as well. On Michael Buble the shame

Oh and hello turnip Am impressed you had surgery. Think I might consider - not least because of comments nurse made when I had my smear ... but only when I know that this is definitely it. Am a bit broody at the moment but DH pointed out that we'd not had a baby without either the baby or I ending up seriously ill in hospital and that he was very clear that was it - especially as it was the pregnancy that made me so sick last time. But as DD gets bigger it's funny to think I won't be pregnant again.

Am finding this time of year a bit strange because I keep panicking about either of the DCs being ill - it's almost a year ago that DD was admitted to hospital so my preparing for christmas memories are all tied up with her being so sick. Hard to imagine that this great big bouncy girl is the same person as that little vulnerable one. Can't help thinking how lucky we are, and how great the hospital were. Am taking them some toys. Actually Veggie and Trace do you know what the children's ward would like? I phoned up to ask but they just said whatever - I'd like to get something for the nurses as well really - but don't know what. Next year we're going to get ourselves organised to go and sing carols but didn't think of it in time to do something for this.

Hello to those of you I've missed. Spot how's T? And JJ how's work?

And LadyT am very impressed you finished your book. I can't remember if I said or not. Am sure it's natural to think it's not as good as you remember - my friend who wrote the most brilliant book put it in a draw for 2 years because he thought it was rubbish. Equally sure that it is much better than you think. Very romantic to write in longhand.

Ok going now. Mainly to think of MIL stories for syb...

Oh dear, feeling very guilty now Urbane, we actually have ready made french crepes and Dutch pancakes, I know it's really bad, not my fault DH bought them. When we are in our new house I'll make my own and do your idea except for the Dutch pancakes as I think I need a special pan for them.

I was thinking of Turnip and her operation, I mentioned it to DH (sorry Turnip but he doesn't know you so I thought it would be ok) I was saying we were lucky I wasn't erm needing any surgery and that because of it you could um, do the do until after Christmas, we were both silent for a moment as we both were thinking the same thing, then burst out laughing and said at the same time 'we won't be having sex until then' bit sad really but at least we can laugh about it. I have to say though that slowly but surely my libido is coming back but I still prickle a little when DH tries to shoe affection, I'm sure that will get better.

Urbane that is really nice of you to give the gifts to the kids ward. I remember last year it was scary for you and you were away from us for a bit. As far as toys, ones that wipe easily are best, so no soft toys etc, and no small parts obviously. As far as presents for the nurses, at this time of year they get loads of chocolates, to the point that we used to feel sick and used to put some away to be brought out at the end of January. A nice set of mugs would be good for them to drink their coffee, just 4 would do as there aren't usually more than that many on a break at once. And maybe some really nice biscuits to have with their tea & coffee. Trace might have a better suggestion.

Wow I can't believe almost this time last year I was just about to be woken by some little twinges.

Oh oh oh I've got a SIL story already, she has sent a box of plain wooden block things for Christmas, it's not wrapped the price is on the invoice and she hadn't told us if it's for Christmas who it's for or what? DH rang and said a package had arrived and she just said oh good and that was it. It's not really age appropriate for DS2 as it's for building quite intricate things and I think DS1 will like it but it seems that's it for Christmas for both boys and nothing for DS2's birthday it's like she has forgotten he exists! So as revenge I have gotten some really lovely Christmas presents for both her boys and have also sent a Christmas tree decoration making kit as it will mean she has to do craft with them and it will be messy, is that bad? Oh and next month for her DS2's 1st birthday I will send another absolutely lovely present.

So much for previewing. I worked in a lot of pubs, as opposed to prisons.

Great suggestions on gifts thanks - I think I will get them the mugs I've seen some really nice ones.

I know veggie happy birthday for tomorrow. First birthdays so much more about the parents than the baby. Well done you

Update on whether I've done anything else....

No. Am just thinking that maybe a spot of cheerfulness would help.

Hi Urbane - I am going to send you my work e-mail as soon as I have finished this message. I was wondering about you the other day as I had a meeting with some people on the DE Bill and I wondered whether you were involved as you had mentioned you might work on a Bill this Session. Sorry you are missing a fun night out but I am excited about the sound of your new socks. I have asked for warm socks for christmas. I truly am the definition of dull...

Veggie - I hope you can get DS1 checked out by someone who you can understand. I was looking at your new FB photos of the boys and they are so gorgeous. Jordi looks so cuddly. Happy birthday to him for tomorrow.

Kayz - Many Happy returns to Dylan for today.

Rubena - It sounds like they are working your hard but its fab that your DH is rising to the challenge of being more involved.

I am going to keep the "me' news brief as I am ill AGAIN and must resist moaning too you all AGAIN. I have MNed some immune system boosting advice (Urbane - I too rely heavily on MN for all sorts of odd advice. Earlier tonight I knew my MNing had got too much when the gingerbread house I was icing with DD1 was not hardening as it should and DH's first suggestion was asking MN what to do!). Anyway I now have a ten point plan of action to try and get my health back on track so tomorrow I will send DH off to Boots to spend an inordinate amount of money of supplements that everyone says don't actually work.... but I have to try something.

hello hello. have been away from mn for ages - have been trying to catch up, but so hard. but here goes...

njan and daisy - am thinking of you both going through tough times. njan - whenever i've had depression (twice, i'd say), it has manifested itself in such weird ways, i simply didn't recognise it for ages. i found counselling/therapy really helpful, but then again i can always talk the hind leg off a donkey. good luck.

aub and urbane - don't worry about the whole nanny thing. i met another mum through the nct who is also a nanny herself and she explained it all to me. i don't think the nanny route is the right one for us. have also only just been told when i'm working next term, so i've got precious little time to organise any childcare anyway. i'll probably be farming madam out to sundry friends and family again. lucky she is generally fine with other people.

syb - funny you mentioned MILisms - she was here last night, staying with us on her way to LA to see her other (and favourite) son and new granddaughter (born sept). she HATES flying, but such is the pull of the favourite son. she was talking about a visit to the doctor who was convinced she had a bad chest (not a bad guess for a woman who smokes lots, despite her kidney cancer 6 years ago - makes dh mad). mil, however, had decided that that is a mad idea and that actually she had - and i quote - "a chill on my kidney". no, seriously, a CHILL ON HER KIDNEY. WTF????????????????????

this means we are having christmas (and madam's birthday) with my dad, his ladyfriend and my fil (after his bowel operation and temporary colostomy, he's not really allowed to fly). which will be lovely. crossed fingers.

i must get round to buying my secret santa present - i am so disorganised. ugh.

have just watched strictly - am such an addict. and now watching the comedy awards - dh is there in a very minor capacity AND I'VE LITERALLY JUST SPOTTED HIM!!! he's looking rather fit, i must say. sorry, this is just me burbling on because i am at home alone. will now go. and try to keep more in touch with you all.

Oh Aub you poor love, supplements can't hurt but if you can also try to up your fruit & veg esp green leafies and brocolli and bright coloured veg. Oh & lots of water. Isn't chicken soup supposed to be good for your immune system. Actually the best thing for you would be a weekend in a spa and a couple of good nights sleep. If things don't improve you could always get a little blood test to check all your levels. I'm rambling now aren't I.

DH got me to ask MN what they thought of the Touran compared to the Renault scenic as that's 2 of the options he's got for a company car. The consensus was the Touran.

Urbane that made me giggle about the behind bars. I didn't think you'd been making pretty patterns in pints of guiness for your fellow inmates, but it did make me laugh.

sorry xposted WG just had to say I'm a little that your MIL is going away for Christmas after all the stuff with you FIL but I imagine you'll all have a better time without her.