Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

happy birthday Veggie I'm having some Maltesers for you Glad ds1's day at school went well - he's such a happy, confident boy from what I've seen that he's sure to feel at home there in no time. The estate agent stuff sounds very annoying.
Spot I know this is a stupid question, but does your high chair have straps on it? Phoebe would be out of hers in a shot if she weren't pinned down by the straps. I'm afraid I can't think of any helpful suggestions, other than what Veggie said about toys - but I imagine you've tried that. Re the nursery situation, how many days a week does he go for? I would think if he's going 3 or more days a week then 6 weeks should be enough for him to settle, but I'm only guessing that. I tihnk if it were P I would be wanting to see an improvement by then. Do the staff say he settles when you've gone or is he miserable all day? Any chance you can go back to some 'settling in' days where you stay and play with him again? Really hope it improves soon for you, it must be so disheartening and upsetting to have to leave him and worry about him.
Kayz how were the cakes and parties? We want piccies!
Well I am in the don't-dare-write-it-or-say-it-out-loud place...but Phoebe has slept the past 3 nights from 6.30 till 4am, then needed only a little cuddle/ patting (no milk) to go back to sleep until 7am. I am in shock and am obviously totally thrilled, but aware that I must not build my hopes up

thanks for asking about Lucy - she still looks pale to me and has dark circles under her eyes, but perhaps she just needs a good rest over Christmas? I feel reassured by the blood tests though, and her behaviour has been a little better for the past week or so, so I'm feeling less anxious on the whole.
I dropped one of my happy pills in the kitchen this morning and can't for the life of me find it - I'm hoping P doesn't find it because she's like a hoover!
Lu has her school nativity tomorrow so I'll be there to weep with pride cheer her on
right I'm off to check my email for my secret santa...

Evening all. I am feeling like a terrible mother - DD has been a bit grumpy for a few days and we thought she was just, well, grumpy. Then today suddenly noticed that she seemed really hot, took her temp, and it was 39 (about 102 I think)! Poor mite! I don't know what's wrong because considering her temp she seems remarkably cheerful, only just a bit clingy. Had a phone appointment with doctor and he told me to bring her in tomorrow if no improvement. Anyone else had anything like this? No obvious symptoms of cough, cold, rash or anything like that. Is off her food a bit but has eaten small amounts. Am actually quite impressed with doctor because he's just rung me again to ask how she was a bedtime.

Spot re the high chair - DD is a terrible fidget who can't keep still (literally, has NEVER sat on her bum for more than 1 second) but we find in teh high chair that giving her something she really has to work at can help calm her - dried mango top at the moment. Or, if she REALLY doesn't want to be in there, I've been known to give her meals at the sitting room coffee table while she's standing. Dunno if that's any help at all!

Oh and also Spot and Kayzr too, DD the amazing wriggling eel is pretty tiresome at nappy change time too. I give her one of those teetha powder sachets (not open) to play with. Sometimes it keeps her occupied enough to take the nappy off, then the rest is done standing...

LadyT I picked up that 200 common mistakes book in Daunts today! I think I read three and thought, oh dear, never going to publish that bestseller then... back to the "win the lottery" fallback plan...

Oh and veggie so sorry, mean to say Happy Birthday! Here's a (MN should have a cake emoticon..)

Kiwi - DS had the phantom fevers too a couple of weeks ago, and in fact, again yesterday. Just temp coming and going (sometimes pretty high), but no coughs, sneezes, rashes etc. We did think it might be an ear infection (thought we saw him tugging at his ears occaisonally), or possibly teething related. He was eating and drinking (but he is an absolute terror for food), so docs didn't do anything. I think in those circs, the only question is whether to give antibiotics, which you may well be able to get depending on how free your doc is with them, but its another question as to whether there is actually any point in having them.

Trace - hooray for P!!! Cheering her on here for another good night. Hopefully better sleeping from P will help L too - I sometimes think DD gets tired if DS is having a bad time at night - even if she seems to sleep through his antics its not the same. Have a lovely time at the nativity tomorrow...

On mealtimes (and generally) DS is also completely wriggly. He loves his food so much that usually if you distract him with some food he can play with he will stay in his high chair, but otherwise he will climb out, even when strapped in. We had a fun time in Giraffe on Saturday trying to keep him off the table. Nappy changes are a choice of pinning him down and putting up with wailing baby for as long as it takes, trying to distract him (usually failing), or chasing him round the house....

Thanks for the reassurance folks. We do have straps on the highchair but, like Invisible's DS, he either wriggles out or makes such a fuss he wouldn't eat anything even if we kept him in there. Eating was better today though, he seemed to be happy trying to eat with his own spoon and, even though he put the wrong end into his mouth most of the time, it meant I could shovel some in in the gaps.

Nursery was pretty bad again today (he was crying most of the time I wasn't there and freaked out whenever anyone came into or left the room) but seemed to calm down more when we left. I don't think it helps that he's only there for two half days a week, they can't offer us any more for a while yet, but today the manager suggested I bring him in for an hour or two in between as she could see it wasn't working as is. I do think it's a good place and I hope he'll settle soon, I just feel like such a meanie putting him through it. . It's also cocking expensive considering the little time (out of the hours we pay for) that he's actually spending there!

Veggie, bummer about your uninvited b'day guests but glad you have cheerfulness. Op uw gezondheid!

Trace, here's hoping for a repeat performance from P!

Dank u well spot!

I do sympathise on the nursery front and when it's so expensive makes it hardly seem worth it. If it's costing so much could you look at other options like childminders they might be able to do more hours. As far as settling I woosed out and took DS1 out of nursery however he did settle in after 3 months and was very happy in the end it's just by then I'd made the decision to leave work. DS1 also used to get upset when people came or left the room at nursery. Luckily he had a lovely keyworker who just carried him all day.

Trace our LO's have the same sleeping habits a few days evil a few days good. I swear it's teeth, I know P doesn't have any yet but it still could be. DS2 has got some coming out on top next to his front teeth.

Kiwi, could be teeth or the start of a viral infection, the snot coughs and generally yukkiness doesn't come our til after. 39 could well be teeth though, hope alls well soon, and what a lovely GP!

Hello,
super quick from me and I have only had time to skim through... Day one of work was ok... out the door at 7 and back at 6 and I swear dh was chanting "dadadada" all day at ds, as although he was v happy to see me he was overdoing the dadada a bit I missed him very much and at first I kept thinking i'd left him in the car as I haven't gone anywhere without him for long in 12 months But it's good for me... Ok must go - won't have much time this week but will try and get a second sometime to catch up at some point - I have heaps to catch you up on [waves]

Morning.

Been up since 5 with DS1. He just woke up screaming, not sure if it is one of those night terror things. He was shaking really badly. He ended up in our bed and went back to sleep with DH. I ended up having a shower at half 6 as I was so bored. They are all still sleeping so I've come for a game on the Wii without being asked "what's that?" every 2 seconds.

Hope everyone is well.

Morning all! Just wanted to say Spot re nursery, that sounds exactly like dd, to beging with she cried lots and every time the door went she looked up to see if it was me and then wailed when it wasn't was also very clingy to her key girl, wouldn't be put down. Then once she'd had a few sessions suddenly it clicked into place. In the end I had to pick her up after lunch on the first couple of 'full' days, fortunately I wasn't back to work by then, and took her in on extra days just for an hour or so so she got familiar with the place and the people. That was what seemed to work best - maybe T is forgetting too much in between visits? Would they let you take him in if you stayed in the building? (that's what I had to do because of numbers)

Oh and the temperature - again, we had that last week hence the day off on Friday, she was about 39.2 until calpoled and then fine, just a but clingier than usual but no other symptoms. Weird.

rubena well done for surviving the full day's work!

high chairs - dd is certainly strapped into hers otherwise tried to clamber onto the table and as soon as she starts dropping food over the side, hoick her out and let her onto the floor again.

trace hurrah for P, that's brilliant and long may it last!

evening
Well Phoebe slept until 11pm, when she woke up briefly but just needed a quick cuddle then went back to sleep until....5.45! She woke up coughing loads so I think she might even have slept longer if it weren't for the cough. I can't believe that's 4 good nights - maybe she's really getting the hang of it! Don't want to believe it just yet...
Lu's nativity was soooooo cute! She sang so confidently (and loudly!) and looked so sweet in her angel costume! DH and the ILs are there watching it now so I'm chilling out making tea for when they get back.
I cried in work today I really don't know why! I was a bit worried about a meeting I had this morning (woke at 5am worrying about it and couldn't get back to sleep), so whether it was relief that that was over, or general tiredness or what, but I felt fine then all of a sudden thought "oh no, I'm going to cry", so picked up some notes and headed into the room with all the files in so no-one would see me. A lovely lady who I work with came in a few minutes later to see if I was ok because she said she could tell by my face that I was upset, and she asked what was wrong and I just burst into tears . I genuinely don't know why. Losing the plot it seems. Anyway I washed my face and went back to the office with my smile back on, and feel fine again now.
spot I agree with others that it's probably because he isn't there very much. I'm sure he will settle in time - and I always find it reassuring to remember that he'll have no memory of these early days anyway. Not that we shouldn't invest in our LOs or anything like that, but just if you push on through, a few months down the line you'll probably all feel better, and there'll be no looking back. T won't turn round in a few years and say "I found it hard to settle at nursery mummy - I wish I could have stayed home with you".
kiwi don't beat yourself up about the fever! The babies can be so whiny and clingy (I know P does that when she's tired/ hungry/ that way out!) that you wouldn't automatically look for a medical reason. The temp may have only been at that moment, because you probably would have felt if she had been hot earlier. Hope he's feeling better today.
daisy how are things? How are you?
urbane , WG, tilly, where are you these days? Hope everything's ok. And zj and jolly have been quiet too...is Christmas keeping us all busy?! I wonder when Christmas smileys will appear!
Right I must stop MNing and do something constructive.
Catch you later xxx

Dear girls

I have got my beloved Kirstie on the box so just a quickie (honest). I haven't been on much because of all my typing. Still got almost 30,000 words to type.

I didn't hear the much missed Updike on the wireless, Effie, will seek it out on play again so thanks for the tip off...

Sorry to hear T is finding it hard at nursery, Spot. I am sure he will change but actually I think strong willed babies are probably bright ones, if it's any comfort. And Kiwi, sorry about the fever, don't beat yourself up. There's a thread at the mo asking to sum up motherhood in six words - well I thought guilt-love-guilt-love-guilt-love....

Trace, I don't want to jinx anything but it's smashing about P. As to being upset, it sounds like relief but don't forget, you are juggling a lot of balls so be easy on yourself.

Sorry about the rogue agent, Veg, what a rotter.

Hope you are doing ok at work, Rubes.

JJ - got my Secret Santa person, very excited and know what I am going to treat them to...how were the ILs?

Well, I got the quote from the builder for the kitchen today in the new house and it only includes a cooker and a dishwasher in terms of appliances, so would also have to buy fridge and washing machine. Suffice to say we won't be using it or him, nice as he is. He is just too expensive. I have a small amount of money for two bathrooms, floor coverings, a kitchen plus appliances, and lighting. His quote used up 75% of my entire budget on the kitchen alone. So I think I am going to have to buy a cheap, second hand kitchen and get DP and my BIL to fit it. I know it's a stupid thing to stress about but I am fretting about money. But I know I should count myself lucky that we have a house at all and I have any money at all to change it. It's going to be a real Ebay and pots of paint job...and I may have to go back to work sooner than expected. DP is hopeless with money and is worrying about finding the money for his tax bill so he just gets upset if I bring up finances....

Anyway, I don't want to whinge as it is not even a proper problem and I am annoyed with myself for getting so fed up over it.

I think I spend too much time alone. That is why a lot of writers are pasty, self-obsessed twerps

Right, back to Kirstie.

Evening ladies. Tomorrow is the first day I will have to get the boys up and out of the house in time to walk them to DS1's school by myself as DH has to be in Arnhem early. So I should be getting myself to bed and sorted. At least it's only a half day so only have to make a morning snack for him.

Trace obviously I don't need any information on your meeting but was it a case conference? I understand how hard some of these meetings can be. I also know though that working for a community team is quite different to the wards and they will be really understanding as you are part of their team. Everyone of my team cried with each other loads, either after child protection stuff, abuse from parents (happens a lot) or just down right sad or stressful stuff. Lean on them I know that they will be fine with that, and I know you will be there for them to lean on too. Just as you are for us so often.

Lady I don't know if you are adverse to this but ikea (that may be a dirty word to you) do some decent cheap kitchens and I know friends who are not at all handy who managed to fit them, just make sure it's measured to your specifications. It's a shame, I have friend who does great high quality work but will work with your budget. He's a bit of a jack of all trades but he lives in London so not really near you. It will happen eventually and it's going to be a lovely home for you DP, O & ? eventually.

Right off to bed, DH and I have watched half of 'The Inglourious Basterds' tonight and will watch the rest tomorrow. It's brilliant but if a keep watching we'll never get to bed.

Oh and I meant to add from the other day, Kiwi you are not a bad mum your lovely, I know I've met you. How is the temp?

Veg, I am rubbish, I am so sorry I did not get on for your birthday. I did think of you though and raised my glass of wine in your honour once I had finally got the kids to bed. Sorry about the agents but hope you otherwise had a great day.

LadyT, I second the Ikea recommendation. They are lovely in the flesh / MDF and look very chichi if paired with decent worktops etc. It must be wonderful to be in your first family home that you and DP started together. What an adventure for you all!

Trace, so glad bloods all ok and brill on P's sleep. Long may it continue.

JJ, how were the outlaws? And thank you for the Secret Santa, great fun. My person specified mother or baby, so definitely one for the mum. Babies get enough!

Sounds like a long day at work, Rubes. Hope you are OK.

Anyone fancy putting a date in for some new year (evening) cheerfulness? I think it might be a bit hard this side of Christmas with work and other bits on. The school run etc means I am a bit out of action for lunch.

Sorry for not more personals but am shattered. Hope everyone well and enjoying the countdown to Christmas.

Love to all.

LadyT: It was John IRVING. Brain gone. Still good tho. Should have realised John U was past radio appearances .

Sybs: wd def be up fpr some evening cheerfulness in the NY.

Spot: hope the nursery sit resolved itself soon.

Trace: hooray for sleep!

DS2 flabbergasted me the night before last by sleeping through for the first time ever (7:30 - 5). Then last night he woke at 2 and wouldn't settle, I finally fed him at 4 and he was just dropping off as the alarm went off at 6. Yawn. I've been doing some gentle sleep training, not feeding him at night and shush patting (or rather just back rubbing, he finds the shushing irritating) when he wakes up. He's gradually getting better but we're obv not there yet!

Other news: new buyer for the flat (last one fell through) is v keen and wants to complete before Xmas. We shall see...

Lady - I 3rd the Ikea kitchen suggestion! I was very skeptical, but we have done 3 Ikea kitchens in the last 4 years (and, yes, I am done with moving and DIY for a while now!). If their door styles are too modern for a country cottage, you can fit the carcasses from Ikea (ideal because then you get to use all the funky drawer and cabinet inserts/organisers) and get a joiner to make new doors. We are having solid oak doors made for our Ikea kitchen and it will cost about 500 for all of them.

Yay Effie and Trace on good nights! It just takes a few good ones to make you think that you might actually survive.

Rubes - Long day at work for you. Glad it went well though.

Veggie - My DH is doing loads of work in Belgium lately so we are talking about me and DS coming over for a long weekend in the New Year. Maybe Antwerp or Ghent? Is that near you for a Benelux meet up??

Sybil - Yes please on evening cheerfulness in the new year! We're back from hols as of the 5th Jan.

Hello all
lady t I am slightly evangelical about cheap kitchens. Can totally be done. Just buy the very cheapest carcass that you can and then either have doors spray painted by car sprayers or paint yourselves and put nice handles. We have cheapest kitchen ever and I just painted it. - looks loads better. Syb is absolutely right - put good worktops on and no one can tell difference. Although actually haven't got round to doing this and it still looks ok.
Hello veggie so sorry I missed your birthday. Hope your lovely ds1 is getting on ok at school.
Trace it's so good to hear you sounding a bit better.
Spot am thinking if you with t and nursery - is heartbreaking. Ds has finally finally got used to nanny and makes world of difference. Just a thought but if you're working at home you could always get student childcare type to come to the house. We did this over the summer. Was great - meant I could be there and not be there too. If that makes sense. Also v cheap as she could fit round her studies/was good experience.Anyway - I hope whatever you do works out. If it is any help I've never heard of a child who totally took to new childcare arrangements straight away. I was seriously contemplating giving up work 3 weeks ago and all fine now.
Thanks to me jj for secret s.
And apologies for random typing of this - I am shamefully bad at typing on iPhone. Good days all xx

hello
well here endeth the beautiful nights...a fair few wakings and screamathons last night, but still I have hope...
I'm off to town today to get my secret santa things and meet a couple of pals who I did my nurse training with for lunch. I do like my Wednesdays!
Lady I think you're far from self-obsessed so I don't see any danger there! You're entitled to stress about cash - it's worrying. Hope you can find a nice kitchen in your budget. I asked dh this morning if it was ok to have lunch in town with my friends as I know we're very tight on cash at the mo, and he said "sure - whose money do you want to use?" We only have a joint account so I was a bit confused and said "ours", to which he replied "there is none. You can use the bank's or the credit card company's". He was only being light hearted - and I'm still going for the lunch even if it's not our money.... I'm owed some back pay from work for my car allowance, so should get about £100 extra in my next pay - can't wait!
Veggie - yes it was a case conference. I've been to others with colleagues, but this was the first one of my caseload so I just got a bit worked up about it really. You're right about supporting each other in the team - they are great. And tomorrow we have Child Protection supervision with our manager where we discuss that kind of thing, so I know the support is there. Hope you and your little men managed to get out of the house in time - I think you deserve a big chunk of cake!
Sybil nice to hear from you again.
mom where are you going for your hols? (you've probably already said but my head is a sieve!)
effie Well done on the good night...hopefully odd nights will turn odd 2 nights, then little runs of 3s and 4s, then before you know it they'll be sleeping through every night! I guess I'm doing the same kind of gentle training with P. Last night I was up a lot but didn't actually need to feed her, just lots of reassurance. Makes me think of Indith - wonder how her sleep is going?
Now, this theory that it's cheaper to keep your heating on all day on a low level than to have it go on and off - is there any truth in it? Our house gets really cold on a night and I wonder if it wakes P. The nights she slept well we had the heating on all night , but it will cost a fortune. She wears a vest, a long sleeve sleepsuit and a gro-bag (I wear PJs and duvet) so I think she should be warm enough - what do other LOs wear in bed? I don't think we'd manage a blanket because she's all over the cot!
Right must dash and clear up our morning chaos before P wakes up from her nap!

Oh Sybi your not rubbish your lovely. Very jealous of new year cheefulness but hope you all have a lush time of it.

Mom I love Antwerp, a little meet up would be lovely. Could maybe even do it on a school day when DH is working from home so I can just bring DS2 (does it strike you guys that DS2 sounds like a hand held computer game?)

Well it's 10.45 (nl time) and the house is spotless (well it's tidy) and DS2 is asleep and DS1 is at school. I have a rare moment of quiet and calm. The estate agent did another viewing this morning (he gave us a grand total of an hours notice) so I have been forced to tidy, but now he is gone and I've got some time to read the Psychologies mag I picked up at the airport! It's a little worst for wear as DS2 got a hold of it in one of his tearing fits but it's readable. I know it's just girly trash dressed up to look a bit more intellectual but I love it. I wanted to buy Wallpaper to remind me of my yoof (trying to look deep and refined in boho cafes on brick lane) but it's bloody expensive and I already had a load of Thomas magazines and nappies to carry onboard.

ooh Veggie get you feet up with your trashy mag - and don't forget the cake - here's to a big ds2 nap....

Trace: here's hoping! The main thing that's helped us is (doh!) having a solid bedtime routine and keeping DS2 in a dark quiet room from bedtime onwards with no exceptions (even if he is dashing about the bed, biting me instead of feeding - ouch! - and headbutting the bedstead). Despite the horrendous waking last night, he did sleep solidly from 7pm till 2am which is pretty good on his previous form. And it's nice not having interruptions all evening. Having said that I'm sure he'll be bobbing up all night tonight!

Sorry cross posted Urbane and Trace. Urbane I stayed with a friend in Lewisham last weekend but was only around briefly so could catch up but next time I'm there I might give you a call as it would be great for the boys to play again. DS1 loved your little wellied up man, he's a real little boy isn't he.

Trace, I know exactly what you went through they are quite hard. Some are quite simple and straight forward others can be quite hard. I went to some quite disturbing ones. At first I was quite timid and just said my piece then just went with the flow when it came to voting, I just said yes if everyone else said yes. But after a few case conferences and core meetings I got quite bolshy and would be quite assertive if I thought the SW wasn't doing enough and vote no if I felt that the situation suited it. But I hate to say they are always quite emotive and can be very long (always take water and a little snack if you can) so make sure you get all the support you need. You can always email me if you need to chat to someone outside work, about advice etc.

Sorry P had another tricky night don't forget I'm having the same with DS2 so it's not you that's doing anything wrong (well I'm hoping not because if you are I am too)

Oh and Effie hooray for sleeping through, but tell me did you feel better or worse for that nights sleep?

Oh and DS2 woke just as I started sipping my coffee...I'm interested in the cake idea though Trace, a large slice you think?

definitely large Veggie. I just accidentally ate a mince pie but it helped me tidy the kitchen .
P's awake...off to town now!

Hello everyone,

This MUST be quick as I must do more work before my second swine flu vaccination this afternoon, lucky me!

trace Re bedclothes. As you know we are in the frozen north too , and I usually put DD in a long sleeved vest, sleepsuit, socks if it is very cold and a growbag. If the temp in her room is below 16 then I usually stick on another long sleeved top or thin cardie. It sounds like loads of clothes but she is never too hot as if it is 16 when we go to bed it gets colder in the night. As you say the heating on all night isn't really an option! Exciting news on the sleeping, hurray for P!

Happy birthday veggie! I'd go for a chocolate cake, it goes so well with coffee.

Good news on the teeth and sleep front, the big teeth are almost through and her sleeping has gone back to normal, phew! It is funny watching her try out chewing on her new teeth. Oh and her sore bum turned out to be thrush . It hasn't cleared yet but is much better than before. I have no idea why she suddenly got it because her bottom has always been lovely and clear. We're had lots of nappy off time (or wee on the floor time as it is more accurately described), to help dry it out.

Back to work.... back soon.