radical cross stitch, theological debate, Easter bunnies, changing bags,and a baby brother...it must be June 08!

[spongebrainbigpants]

Welcome to our new thread .

Wow it's been busy on here! I have laughed and nodded my head to so much stuff - love the wonder pets story Sybil, never seen that one. You should tell everyone on g&t

I quite like Chuggington but never really watch anything properly, the tv is in the kitchen in the play area so when the DTs are watching I am usually pottering around (or on MN).

PP, I am sure I could make use of the shoes - only need one pair though if there's others who could use them. T is a 4F at the mo. Let me know on FB and I'll paypal you the postage at least?

Poppy, lol at Deep Purple, sorry don't know any of their stuff! And how lovely that E likes to be put back to bed by Daddy

PP, when we lived in Oz in the 80s they always had cartoons on tv in the mornings. When we moved to the UK we were gutted to find no cartoons - only TVAM and BBC breakfast

Sponge, sounds like normal behaviour to me, certainly T ignores me even though I know he understands. E is much more compliant! I can imagine how worried you were when the nursery said that though, you would think they would know what normal 17mo behaviour is .

The DTs' new thing is sitting up at the table. Not to eat, they just climb up on the chairs at the kitchen table. And then just sit there . They also like to push their high chairs up and down the hall - that's a downside to having lightweight IKEA highchairs.

BDQ - I've been out of the pensions game for a couple years, but yes, unless a scheme has particularly unusual rules the two year rule would apply to any standard FS or DC occupational scheme. However if a refund wasn't taken at time of leaving, the benefits are preserved so it's up to the trustees to decide whether to allow one at a later date. (For an FS scheme, they would be mad not to agree cos as you state, it reduces the schemes overall liability).

Also meant to say, the tax relief thing actually works in the individuals favour as it is usually (again scheme rules permitting) a straightforward 20% tax deduction, whereas most people would normally pay more than 20% tax on their salary. Bit of a tax loophole.

Hi guys, thanks for your replies on here and other thread - and hello to mellymell .

I am concerned that alot of you say that your LO understands but ignores - I don't actually think A understands much of what I say to him but maybe I'm doing him a disservice . How do you tell whether they understand but are ignoring or that they're not understanding?

Sorry, I know I'm probably over-thinking this but I am very concerned about A being labelled as a 'problem' child at such a young age .

sponge if you say "the biscuits are on the table" does he run to get them? That's how I can tell - typical male selective hearing.

The only other thing to check would be his hearing. My 23 month old nephew turned out to need tubes as he had so much gunk in his ears he wasn't hearing. Has A had any ear infections? It might be worth checking out as my brother had no idea C wasn't hearing right.

waves hi to mellymel...

Sponge I would try to gauge A's reaction to a couple of things you do routinely and see if he understands what you are saying. So, when getting ready to go out say, where are your shoes? and see if he looks in the place where they normally are, or on his feet. J does do this but because he knows when we are going out that the shoes are next in the process. Or say, where Micheal? and see what he does.

To be honest though, I wouldn't be too worried if he can't do this. They all do different things at different times and they are still very young. I would talk to the poeple at nursery though, if only to put your own mind at rest.

neenz I think the G&t people probably already know about the wonder pets - such is their education magnificence. Baby einstein is shabby next to them in my opinion.

Sponge I think A and P are very similar, and we have seen them together a couple of times recently to compare. I don't think P understands that much. I think he can hear because if I say his name he turns round (most of the time). With P not being in nursery though I don't get a second opinion. I am also not worrying about no talking yet because you told me not to worry till 18 months earliest . Seriously though, I think it will come in time, we just need to be patient. Doesn't stop me gently fretting about it.

Poppy The only Deep Purple fact I know is that their big song is "Smoke on the water" which was written about the Montreaux Jazz Festival. This was a factoid that I learnt when I was a tour rep in Switzerland and the bus used to go past Montreaux on the airport run.

AH and sybil, I've tried and I really don't think he understands much at all .

Spider, thank you for the reassurance - I'm genuinely not worried about his speech cos lots of the LOs on here don't seem to be saying much (although 18mths is now getting v close tbh ), but I am now increasingly getting worried about the comprehension. I really don't know what he should be comprehending, but from speaking to him today he really seems to understand virtually nothing if it's just vocab - only if it's accompanied by showing him what I'm talking about. I'm just so unsure if this is normal or something to worry about and the tiredness means I'm struggling to get any sense of perspective on this at all.

The more I think about it and the more I talk to A and get no response whatsoever the more depressed I feel.

Signing off now cos I'm getting myself into a ridiculous state about this and I need to give myself a slap .

sponge go and get yourself some chocolate and take a deep breath - I don't think there is nothing wrong with A. In fact if there is then I would like a cure as its not got any better in my dss and he is 19.

Your nursery folk sound like loons if think he will obey what htey tell him . However think ah makes a good point re his hearing as worth getting that checked out. And I think over tiredness/natural concern whilst you have your hands full with M that somehow you are missing something with A. Have you spoken to your mum about what she thinks as she sounds eminiently sensible/experienced?

If E takes any notice of me (or dh or the nanny) twenty percent of the time I am lucky - she can hear me as she quite often casts a contemptuous glance at me when I call her name as to why she would pay attention to me rather than look at the tv/put her head in the bin/crawl in shower (I could continue but you get the gist).

also both A and W were /are very mobile - e only just walking and from everything I've heard it does seem to be they go one way or the other

and sybil would echo what wonder pets does with little einsteins. Edie now bounces along to the classical music they have on it and really likes the paintings they badly rip off with their animation.

ali that has just confirmed my worst fears that it is going to be A VERY LONG NIGHT- I am now reliving the genesis concert which had great swathes of it (as had queen)that were like the worst bits that they used to put on the mid 80s now cassettes.

ktpie didnt mean to scare/gloat re xmas shopping but am not around much before xmas and I HATE HATE HATE crowds (comes from working up near oxford street for years) so try to do it early or online and was worried about the latter cos of post strikes.

hi to everyone else -bdq and PP am amazed you had energy to post all that on pensions late at night. and big hi to mellymel

absolutely done in as another 3.30 wake up (teeth I think -her little cheeks are a sight to see) although she was quite cheerful as having not seen dh last night thought he should hear some songs in case he felt he had missed out -did manage to get her back to sleep after some milk but by then had already been woken by dh returning from night out and then e at 3.30.

DS1 didn't talk until he was two, seriously, he had his first word at 18 months, second word at 20 months, and until his birthday had only about six words. Then his vocabulary exploded... Our LOs are still so young.

As for the understanding, please don't underestimate the ability to selectively hear... they are going to grow up to be men and my two have a complete inability to multitask and a comprehensive ability to ignore me.

I hope you have an OK night sponge and lots of hugs. I think sleep deprivation can do terrible things to your ability to think rationally (it does to mine) so try not to worry too much.

x-post poppy - hope E has a better night and I agree with you about Christmas shopping. I'm doing my online this year although so far all I've done is DH's presents for me (it is not a good idea to let him take care of this himself).

Sponge - I am sure it will turn out that the nursery have you worrying over nothing. J's response varies massively day to day, some days he merrily fetches teddy when I ask him to, but mostly he just carries on with whatever he is doing, so maybe A is just having a non compliant day like most of Js. Also it's often DH who points out signs that J is understanding things, I think being with him a lot I am just assuming he isn't understanding and missing things. What does your DH think?
The odd things that make me think he understand are really few and far between and just occur when he feels like it and really surprise me when they do happen. It's things like sometimes running off to find DH if I mention Daddy, but by no means every time. Yesterday he really gave me a shock when I asked him to stay in the sitting room and he stopped at the sitting room door and started crying.

Poppy - I need a kick up the bum about christmas shopping!

Hi Mellymell and everyone else!

Sponge - before you worry any more arrange a hearing test for A. One step at a time... cross that off the list first. As for speaking Ethan only says Mama, Dada, that other people could understand.

Mellmell - lovely to see you back, your story of your neighbour returning your ds made me laugh.

mil went yesterday, she's now been replaced with mum and stepdad...not much time to post

Sponge agree with what people have been saying here.
But an important distinction: language versus comprehension.
I'm not sure if I can make this clear (duh!) but what I mean is he may not have his ears in tune to language (it might just be sounds to him - that's just now, it's not permanent), but he no doubt understands concepts, actions etc. How can I say - he is able to communicate with you and you can communicate with him, but he's not at the actual words stage just yet. But like Poppy said - he was active so early. Iestyn's only been walking a month or so.

Iestyn: language comprehension is good in Welsh only, but he's not speaking. (He has three words: Mama, Dada, Dog; the rest are animal noises or actions, plus the pretend counting.) So, maybe Alex is at the same place as Iestyn in English. Say anything to Iestyn in English and he won't respond, because it's just a sound and he's not tuned in. Alex might be the same; but there will come a point when both of them tune in to English.

Does any of that make sense?

Sponge A sounds normal and lovely to me, and the nursery staff need their heads dunking. Thea doesn't have words in the way lots of the babies on this thread seem to. I don't know how much, if any, conversation she understands. Rather it is the context, expression and so on that she seems to follow. Or maybe she doesn't. It's difficult to tell. Does A react to loud noises? Sirens, slamming doors, shouting? If you still feel the same way in a couple of days, would your HV refer A to have his hearing checked?

I bet that either there is nothing the matter or if there is something, it will sort itself out - like bunged-up ears for example. DD1 was referred to a hearing clinic (in the community, and all very easy and stress-free) and they told me that she had glue ear and wasn't hearing as well as she should. At our next visit, when I was expecting to be told that she'd need grommets, her hearing was fine and she's been discharged.

A may also have been putting all of his developmental energies into his physical development. You might find that the next big leap he takes is in precisely the areas you're worried about. My own experience is that children don't develop in a linear way. They can seem to stall or even go backwards and then just when you're beginning to worry they take a huge leap forward.

I know it's really hard to believe, but you sound as though you very badly need chocolate and sleep . Your hormones must be all over the place, you're sleep deprived, your miracle baby is now a big brother...

How are things this morning Sponge?Hope you had a better night and things don't look quite so bleak to you this morning.

Sponge - agree with everyone about the nanny staff. Anyone worth their salt knows that toddlers start exerting their independence around this time.

And agree about the comment on comprehension - you will say something to your babe and they will totter off in the right direction looking purposeful. Suddenly you will realise how much is being taken in and selectively understood.

Finally, on speaking, my DS1 didn't say a word until 2 yrs, when he said Daddy and Car and nothing else (not even mummy). then we waited and waited and waited, then at 2.5yrs he suddenly spoke and now we are asked whether he ever shuts up!

Sponge, I am sure it all seems worse because of the sleep deprivation. Agree you should get his hearing checked, I have a friend whose DS could hardly hear a thing and they didn't notice until he went to school. T doesn't seem to say much (and he is over 18mo now) - only mummy and dada and teeth , though he now nods yes and shakes his head no but that has only been in the last couple of weeks (remember he is 6wks older than A). He doesn't know what going getting his shoes means, but he will go to the bathroom sink when I say 'time to brush your teeth' and go to the bottom of the stairs when I say 'we're going upstairs' but that could all be to do with context as it is part of our routine iyswim. I agree with Rolf that all babies develop differently and it is too early to be getting worried about A when this is such a transitional age and they are all doing things at different times. What does your mum think, she has had lots of kids so she should know .

Well Beyonce was excellent, such a great show, probably the best I have been too (even better than Lionel Richie ). She is so talented and professional, Britney could learn a lot from her! I wish we had shelled out a little more on the golden circle tickets tho. Our seats were pretty good but not worth £300 so I feel bad about that, cos DH wasn't really that keen on going anyway. £330 would have got us standing tickets right near the stage. Oh well. I am a little tired and hungover too so that is not helping my mood. I'd love to go see her again next week in Manchester but I really don't think DH would let me

poppy sh*t. I know you were afraid of that It's so hard to get childcare sorted and then to have it fall apart on you... At least you hopefully have lots of notice...

Yeah that is a real shame Poppy, when will the nanny go? Are you going to get another?

Poppy that is gutting about the nanny. How was the concert last night?

Neenz glad to hear that Beyonce was good.

Sponge how has your day been? Have you had a chance to investigate further with the people at the nursery?

Poppy - bad news about the Nanny, hope you manage to replace her.

Neenz - sounds like you had fun at Beyonce!

We've not been up to much today, been out to Tiny Talk then both had a sleep. Did I say we have moved J's carseat to the front seat? I was finding it really hard to reach into the back to put him into his seat so now it's much easier for me. He loves it and sits there waving at everyone and studying how to drive

Quick spot of help needed. Go here and type in SNC3122. Can't decide whether to buy any of these. P wasn't having his most photogenic day and wouldn't stay still for pictures. The only smiley ones were when I lay on my stomach and tickled him. Hence why he looks as though he is in pain in one shot. The prices are quite reasonable, and these are the first professional photos that have been taken. Honest opinions welcome (I have PFB goggles you see)! Thanks.

Poppy not surprised you feel crappy about your nanny. I would feel exactly the same. Have a hug, (even though I'm not the hugging type).