August 2008 - Whistle No. More Here It Is!

[TwilightSurfer]

seriously??? oh poppy! i don't know what to say!!

hey,

glad to see you back safe and sound dizzy... sorry about your rough night..

not too bad going sazzle with dd1... i didn't manage to get dd1 without nappies until she was 3 1/2 and that was only because she decided that she didn't want to wear them anymore ..

all the irish luck in the world steaky.. thinking of u..

poppy you sound like wonder woman at the mo very impressed ..

pb i think you are a friend of mine of fb but as i have been so shy and not managed any meet up..not sure of your rl name!!! can u please message me so i can sign up of xmas santa..

hugs to those have xmas issues already.. we are having similar but i am choosing to bury my head in the sand on that one..

dd2 a poorly little girl today.. her eye is so full of gunk it looks like she has been punch and she will not let me clean it out [sigh]

Thanks ladies
I'm trying to be consistent - don't know if I'm succeeding that well. The problem with ME, is that I get very stressed with it all, and find it very very difficult to stay calm. THis obviously doesn't help anything at all.
It used to be that I would give him bf, put him in bed give him his dummy and walk out the room. Then overnight he suddenly started refusing to sleep, and now I have to rock/sway to get him to go to sleep. It's like we've taken a massive step backwards really. We're now just bringing him into bed with us when he wakes. We're probably making a fresh problem for ourselves with that, but at least I'm getting some sleep.
The good news is that DP is now onside with things like getting the routine going etc. I've been pretty good with that, but it's been thrown out by the fact that our boiler has just died a death, so I'm going to have to make sure I start boiling water in pots and the kettle at about 4 so he can have a bath in the evening.

queen liking your new name! DS doesn't have a bath every night. A routine doesn't necessarily have to include a bath unless obviously you want it to!
You really do need to try and stay calm. i know its easier said than done but Seb will pick up on it, as you know. What i find helps keep me calm is if i'm doing something whilst waiting for him to drop off to sleep so i bring my book with me or the laptop and i sit and at least feel productive whilst he's kangarooing in his cot.

i really do know how hard it is to crack a non-sleeping baby and i appreciate i was a bit harsh earlier so i'm sorry for that. Right, i've got a suggestion for you.... my DP is out tomorrow night so i'm being left to my own devices. How do you fancy settling Seb together? I'll fb you my phone number (if you haven't got it already) and whenever you start getting stressed you can phone me. We can have a chat, i'll try and calm you down and then you can continue with settling Seb. Alternatively you can just shout/swear at me to release your frustrations and then go back to Seb feeling calmer

you sound like you're in a place mentally where you're ready to get this sorted so lets do it...

QofD/Ann - not having a bath won't kill him if its that much of a pita with no boiler. I have to admit to giving Dylan a very short nap 15-30mins at about 4pm if she is utterly shattered because otherwise I feel she would fall too quickly into a really deep sleep at 7pm.

I think the problem is that there are so many different things that can help but not all of which will help iyswim?

our routine has to be fairly regular due to our shifts being all over the place - it means all the girls know whats happening regardless of who with - shall give you very quick example incase it helps

up normally at about 6.30-7am (not by choice, yawn)

brekker, pootle about, school run dash, playgroup dash - home and down for nap at approx 9.30am

at this point she is left to sleep for as long as she needs.

lunch at midday

if she's only slept for a very short time she can have snooze/sleep in afternoon preferably no later than 3pm however this is quite rare now

dinner 5pm

after dinner upstairs for bath and bed (she doesn't take a bottle at all and no longer bfing ) bed is normally 6.30pm

now all of that is changeable depending on when they get up and if she's at the CMer but I hope it helps in someway sleep deprivation is an absolute b*stard and really wearing

poppy what an utter pain in the tits with the nursery, no wonder you're fed up just shout if we can help at all

thank you all else for lovely welcome home am currently sconed off my head on some lovely American painkillers/cold remedies as my head feels like its fit to burst - PIL are here but about to depart for train station and poor MIl has been ill all morning

Similar routine to dizzy here, with a culturally later bedtime.

Ann, much sympathy here. I agre consistency is the key. It is what has cured my two poor sleepers.

I think it's key to set the wake-up time too.
DD2 wakes here at 7.15 and our routine works around that just as much as the going to bed time.

Also, what kind of crying is he doing?
a) distraught, doesn't know what in the hell is happening
b)frustration - I really want to be up playing and I have the energy for it. I can't work out why they won't let me.
c) grumbly moaning. I hate this dropping-off lark. To whom do I address my letter of weepy complaint?
d) temper. I'm really annoyed about having to go back to sleep, and if I protest for long enough, I'm fairly sure something better will happen.

To get to a routine you'll have to work through a few days of listening to the fury thing. DS1 was known as Finbarr Furey for much of his first year due to his mastery of (d). Now he has 'leadership qualities.'

Having Miamla on the end of the line might be a really useful tool for the decoding.

If a real blast at sorting this out doesn't work, I'd be off to the GP I think. I know there's someone on here who has had to use melatonin to regulate their child's sleep due to a chemical imbalance.

You getting cross is something you can control. I have a nasty temper, and at times it mars my parenting really badly. I have to grab myself by the scruff of the neck and refuse myself permission to deal with stuff in that way.

Post on this all day every day till it's sorted and keep a diary. You can crack this.

Poppy, nursery and father sound very unreasonable there. What a nightmare.

How are things for bil and his family at the moment?

Queenie, good name. Also, make sure you are keeping your blood sugar level up, esp at certain times of the month. Low blood sugar really does interfere with your ability to cope throughout the day. Keep some dried fruit packets hidden out of reach in every room. I find singing helps when I'm trying to get through something (not settling to sleep obviously) - this morning I hummed 'I vow to thee my country' v loudly while DD was crying about something so miniscule. That and Jerusalem are very therapeutic.

Miamla I seriously can't say it out loud, it is the one thing I would be really too embarrassed to tell DH about (and I made him inspected my postnatal stitches and piles!). .

Ann, I think the seb pootling downstairs thing would fail my test of being a reason for non-supervision that would sound ok when told to the police/ staff in a&e. I think I'd be a bit ...

Would some biscuits help today:

Poppy Childminders give plenty of social stuff, it's just mixed ages which can be just as nice and more educational too (all those naughty words). CM's take their mindees to toddler groups etc too.

Thanks ladies.
Yes, I do feel that I need to sort this out.
Yes, I do know that I need to stay calm - as miamla said easier said than done.
red the crying definitely seems to be d - he's properly throwing a strop (also sounds distraught though) he deliberately stops himself from falling asleep - kicking his leg, jerking himself awake again as he's starting to drop off, making a grumbly noise, he has loads of ways of keeping himself up.
Just wondering - do you ladies think it's better to go straight for the early bedtime, or to get the routine established and gradually move the bedtime earlier. Only askig this because when I do manage to get him to bed at a decent time, he treats it as a nap, and I can't get him off again till stupid o'clock

I would get the routine sorted, then move it 15 minutes every day so that it get to a reasonable time in a week or two.

You need him to clearly understand what night-time means: sleep and no messing.

When he wakes himself up again, do you just leave him to drop off again or do you read it as a sign to pick him up and help him to settle?

It sounds to me as if he doesn't believe he can settle himself and, when he's nearly there and twitching, he sees this as the point he should call you in to finish the process for him, instead of learning to think of the twitches as signs that he is nearly asleep.

I wouldn't be there to see the twitches to be honest. Let him argue away with his grobag until he is asleep.

And I am a big soft wuss about sleep-training as any fule kno.

[over-analysing English Lit phd for hire ]

Afternoon

DD's napping and i'm ignoring all the stuff i should be doing

Queenie - as i said before i think the routine starting at a set time in the morning is key. Start the day as you mean to go on. In control . Lunch here is always at 12-12.15, tea 4.30-5 (and perhaps a bowl of cereal/banana before bed). This gives enough of a gap between after lunch nap and bedtime. However if DD2 has had a late morning sleep rather than after lunch she will sometimes have 15 mins at 4pm to see her through as minidixie does. Overtiredness unfortunately is also a factor in not sleeping

Think about Miamla's offer though - she will help keep you on track, or post on here or a separate thread how your bedtime is panning out. Loads of people will want to help i'm sure

Just thinking about both DD's sleeping, they do really well after a swim. COuld you take him swimming about 2.30/3, home for tea, bath at 5.30ish, cuddles on the sofa and then to bed?

Buckets - i still have no clue what you are on about

Poppy - what a nightmare with the nursery. IMO the ONLY benefit of a nursery is them having more flexibility to take DC's for one offs than CM's due to staffing etc. If that is not the case then that sucks. My CM will have the DD's with sniffles, any condition where they have had AB's for 24hrs or more and doesn;t rigidly enforce the 48hr rule re D&V if they are clearly recovered. She takes them to playgroups, childrens centres, the city farm, teddy bears picnics etc etc and there are usually 3 or 4 after schoolers who love playing with the littlies. I think this is plenty in terms of socialising etc.
I am lucky that my CM is very accommodating (i even asked her to give DD2 tea the other day when we went to pick up DD1 because we had been out and about and she was screaming blue murder). I apologised for being cheeky and she just said 'no we LOVE parents who are cheeky and feel at home here'. She even made me a cuppa [bless her]

Miamla - our Xmas has turned into a nightmare with my DSis on the phone to Mum in tears. I spoke to Dad and said 'shit happens' but i am not getting into an argument about it. I think M&D will now come to us Boxing Day and my sister will again get her way. Ho hum. Family eh?

Dizzy - sorry you had a rubbish night and are feeling rubbish. I'll bet your mini break seems like many moons away

Hows it going steaky, are you feeling ok? {{big hugs and much fortitude to see you through mansteaks visit, portraying a strong woman with a beautiful daughter}}

No zoo trip for us as weather pants, so going to see a friend this avo. DD1 has asked to take MammaMia and i said yes in the hope of a few minutes peace to actually have a chat

Right, have waffled on enough

Queenie agree with Red, sort the routine and then the times can change to suit you - grobag is invaluable here too and covers only get put on when we're heading to bed ourselves

bouquets I must be really thick here but I can't work out whats wrong with your bot and considering how dodgy mine is you think I'd know

VG where are you my love, did you enjoy London?

PIL are now finally away, MIL is half cut on brandy/port to settle her stomach and they've apparently fed the girls nothing but muffins and sweeties whilst we were away and filled them full of promises of a sleep over at their house VERY soon which now leaves me to explain that no, 6 chocolate muffins do not constitute a meal and no, we won't be going to their house any time soon

happy american pills are sadly wearing off, am off to find some more

Ann - can you try one of those light show/musical things? I know some on MN swear by them. DD1 had and DD2 has a plastic lamb which plays a lullaby with flashing lights which goes on for 10 minutes. She can also put it on herself. If she wakes we just go in, lay her down, give her back her muzzy and put it on saying night night and walk out. This gives her the cue of 'no messing, sleep now'. Well, mostly anyway

sazz can you please tell Mr Sazz that my beautiful kitchen aid pot that only he was allowed to have a use of is now scratched to feck after much potato mashing last night - I know he'll understand my pain

does anyone wish me to bore them with the details of my mini break ?!?!?!?!

miamla I had noticed the cost of the material but its that kind of thing am after - can you point me in a better direction please? I started looking on ebay/etsy and got completely overwhelmed distracted

steaky hope all going well, you know where we are if you need cyteen and I round tooled up

Should have used the ricer dizzy

I will tell DH when he deighns to return to this house at some point. I might as well have married a submariner

I would like to hear of your mini break, but may be called away shortly by waking children

Woo Woo. VG's back

BLIND FOR DIZZY

Bargaintastic at only £24 for a large one and you can spend the rest of MIL's money on a treat for you

How the feck do you spell that?

am not sure they would know what a ricer was tbh - they certainly can't tell a beautiful, expensive, much treasured non stick pot when they see one

ok, NY saga coming up - is it an utter impossibility for me to get anywhere without some form of drama we really only did the very typically tourist things as DH hadn't been before - a couple of things had to be missed out because of him not being well enough but never mind.

DH horribly ill on the Wed so I was left with house/sick DD2/packing and PIL to deal with but we made it to my dad's house at midnight (he stays near to Glasgow airport) DH straight to bed with electric blanket/flece throw over duvet and woolly jumper on

up for flight early doors - arrive at airport to check in only to discover Continental have no record of us travelling [meep] No problem, I have the travel itenary in DH's hand luggage - which DH has left at my dad's house [fuckwit emoticon] phoned Dad who went home, collected it and returned all while poor harrassed girl on info desk trying to phone someone in US to confirm - eventually write us a paper ticket after acknowledging all their fault and we have to leg it through security and all the way to the gate to get on by skin of teeth

arrive at Newark, get on bus no problem into Manhattan, arrive at lovely hotel and deposit bags - go for walk as too early to check in. See Grand Central, 5th Avenue, Times Square, NYC Library, had dinner, visited Bryant Park and eventually returned to hotel - DH went to sleep at 6pm and that was him for the night

Fri, had brekker, we went downtown, walked all the way down broadway (bought DH a scarf and passed 200 chemists asking at each one did he want some medicine) Union Square & lovely farmer's market, flatiron building, Federal Square, ended up in middle of Yankees victory parade (by accident I may add) walked right under Brooklyn Bridge, Wall St, Financial district, tried to go on Staten Island ferry but closed due to amount of people for parade, battery park, walk up Hudson, Ground Zero and took him for a shot on the underground - he was back in bed at 6pm, having finally relented and got some medicine, and that was him for the night - I took myself off to the Museum of Modern Art for the evening

Sat - up 5th Avenue,Rockerfeller Centre & up to the top, Nintendo Store/Tiffanys/Apple Store/ FAO Swartz and then into Central park where we wandered leisurely marvelling at all those doing exercise lazy lunch at the boathouse which was lovely (thank you Sazz) before pootling about. Back to hotel for DH to recover before heading to TKTS in Times Square then walking down to Empire States Building to go up at nighttime. Walked up to E46th to the best steakhouse in the world - am utterly convinced run by mafia (we sat there looking for Sopranos cast) and DH managed (due to earlier nap) to stay up till 10pm

Sun we got subway downtown to staten island ferry and took trip over and back. subway up to the village for a wander then walked the highline before coming off and heading through Chelsea and onto Madison Park for a Shake Shack burger (waited in que for 45minutes but it was worth it!) back up to Bryant park, supposed to be meeting up with my ex but by that time he'd been called back to work (terribly important Dr type person) so we missed him. spend evening in bar having few drinks and decided to treat outselves to room service before, for once, I fell asleep before DH!

Mon, DH has coldsore size of dinner plate and blisters so lie in, subway down to walk Brooklyn bridge and then back up to Soho for a wander. Back to hotel, collect bags, bus back to airport and same trauma with tickets at airport although we'd been ASSURED it wouldn't happen again [lying b'tards emoticon] met uncle at airport (oober rich uncle who was of course in first class but at least we had the extra leg room seats ) and horribly bumpy flight home

the whole time we were there it was like spring - people wandering about in flip flops and tshirts. We had a FAB weekend, doing things at our own pace and going where we wanted to go without the constant chatter of children. managed not to spend a whole shed load of money only really treating ourselves to a couple of nice meals - DH being ill helped - and no shopping, just picked up a few things for the girls and when I say a few I mean some pyjamas out of Old Navy and a Super Mario doll

have come home with horrible head cold that developed on plane and now feel like have never been away - shall have to book something else now to look forward to

poppy if you're serious about going over I can recommend that hotel we were in, really central, clean and very nice

well done if you've managed not to fall asleep