June 08- the shoes, the food, the glamour!

[pureeandpearls]

Struggling to load pages these days and saw we were over the 900 so took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Oh and I'm not on anything for my tooth yet but i'll see how it is tomorrow and then ring the dentist. I have seen a little improvement since this morning thank God. I never thought I'd look forward to getting a crown!

Good news - my sis has just found out she is preggers. The docs didn't find anything out when they did tests but they are going to put a stitch in her cervix when she gets to 12 weeks.

Great news about your sister Amber, I hope the stitch does the job

We spent the morning in the hospital getting Fraser checked out. He's got a hematoma (basicallly a hard swollen area) around his left testicle as a result of the surgery. We'll be going back in early this week to see the consultant about it but hopefully this doesn't mean anything as he's not in any pain at all. There's just a part of me that's very worried about his poor testicle that's surrounded by all this swelling. Surely it can't be good for it! But scholar.google.com wasn't any help and I can't find any reliable information so I'm trusting the resident we saw who really didn't seem too concerned and keeping our fingers crossed. Viva does that sound right to you? I wish we'd asked more questions but we just can't process information quickly enough...

Amber fingers crossed for your sister - that's great (although I'm sure you're not celebrating yet) news.

I threaten DS1 with removal of the television if he lets Fraser out of the playroom (mainly babysafe) while I shower and tell him that if Fraser gets hurt I'll take away his toys for a week. But this is only when DH is away, otherwise I get up early enough to shower before DH leaves for work.

As for babysitters - we use a teenager in the village who volunteers with the sunday club at church. The boys know her and we've the added bonus that I know she calls her mum if the boys wake up (we don't leave until Fraser is asleep) so she's got adult back up. And we never go out for more than a few hours at a time... but still, it's better than nothing! Our wedding anniversary is in 8 days - I'm hoping Fraser is better by then so we can go out and celebrate (7 years). We have never left the boys overnight (without one of us, I've left DS1, but he was with DH so it doesn't count).

Hello! Things really moved fast this weekend!

Neenz I'm a woman with very few friends really, but then I didn't join in much at groups (er, because I had this bad attitude) and there is no NCT in our area (so I've developed an attitude about that too). But I did make a friend at swimming. I was quite pushy but I liked her. (God, it sounds like...dating!!) And we should meet up again - shame we don't live closer.

BDQ how's it going without your DH? How long is he away for? For me, it's not DH being away that bothers me as much as the disruption all the time, IYKWIM. And showers - well, Iestyn has lots of toys on my spacious landing area (stairgated!) and he gets to play there. I close my bedroom door because he's got a mania about my en-suite toilet and laundry basket at the mo (shower is in the bathroom not ensuite) and he plays around. Often brings me things too. If he looks like he's going to do something bad I ask him to fetch his red car (£1, charity shop, life saver) or go to see if the sheep are in the field and off he goes.
BTW - small ones: Iestyn was 6lb at birth! (overdue, too...)

Babysitting - we haven't been out as a couple since Iestyn was born... I had one night away for research (2 weeks ago!) but DH was home. I've had a few nights out (mainly lecturing so not really a 'night out'!) on work events and Mum babysat each time. My parents are fabulous and do much more than I ever imagined, and for nothing. I don't know how I can ever repay them. PILs on the other hand have never offered to look after Iestyn but do want to pose around with him. MIL 'doesn't do nappies'. That pisses me off immensely.

So, I've been singlehandedly trying to fix the credit crunch with my mega spending (Boden got a hit...twice ) but also being in a generally bad mood. (Tired, overworked, underpaid.) And I've been a bit mean to a friend...confession coming up (but also combined with a rant).
OK, so she's an old friend, but has a tendency to be a bit, how can I say? Negative? Looking on the black side, rather than anything else. She avoided me when I was pg because she couldn't bear it as she was 'never going to have a child'. (She made that up really, because she had a m/c same time as me, then went to see her GP with tcc issues, but was sent away because she'd only been trying 4 months since her m/c and only 1 month before it...) Anyhow, she got PG, had a baby, was v. happy. But she's been a bit distant. I get quite uncomfortable with boasting, and she kept telling me all the time how amazing her baby is. (He's...normal!) And she kept going on about how busy she is all the time, and how she meets up every day with her NCT friends, and that got me annoyed (because of my ishoos with NCT) and probably a bit jealous because I'm working really hard and struggling to do everything with an absentee husband! She told me about her holiday last week, and that she's off to visit her parents next week (and they're in Greece that week so she's going to Greece), and then said when am I next in London so that we can meet up. I said not for a long time as DH and I aren't travelling on weekends unless we really have to: I'm working hard, DH is travelling loads, we're tired and have no life - but love having people to visit. She replied that she can't afford to travel anywhere so can't come to visit me, and it's really hard travelling with a baby. Now I'm really pissed off, because she can afford a holiday and also a trip to Greece, and she always says she's poor but they are kind of selective on what they spend on; I almost think she's trying to get sympathy because my husband is a high earner. She's on ML but keeps telling me that she doesn't have a minute spare (WTF?) And basically I'm just annoyed because it seems to me that she has the money and inclination for some things...

Speaking of London, PP I'm getting anxious now. When are you leaving? I can't let you go before seeing you! I'll make a special trip to London. I have a reading week in early November if that helps?

Sorry, I think this is really long...

Great news about your sister Amber - I'll keep everything crossed. And ouch on the tooth - I think I was drugged up to the eyeballs for days after mine .

Abdn sorry to hear about the hematoma but it sounds encouraging that the resident wasn't too concerned. Hope it's all ok.

Sponge that's very hurtful re: your SIL - especially as if it seems she just didn't make the effort.

Viva sorry about C - hope she's better soon. And about the car seat. They're a bugger to clean.

Am feeling quite pleased this evening as have done loads of Christmas shopping today online. I love online shopping. Don't get me wrong, I do love waiting till December and doing the shops, but I have no holidays left and we just have so much to buy these days, I love doing it from the comfort of my spare room with a beer in hand .
I was quite also pleased today to have sold all of S's size 1 nappies and wraps in one go to someone via Gumtree. She got a bit of a bargain I think but easier than the hassle of selling them online and posting them etc. Am feeling rather pleased with my gumtree sales recently.

That's all my news. Not very exciting!

WHo made the lavender bath bombs btw? Sorry, I read it earlier but didn't have time to post. Have you tried them out yet? Were they easy to make?

Hi Essie - he's back now thanks. I'm such a wimp.

Sounds like we've both been doing our bit to help the country out of recession . Sorry about your friend - she sounds very self-centred. I think with people like that you either have to cut them loose or have very low expectations of them so they don't disappoint you. But I'm terrible at taking my own advice so no reason why anyone else should either

essie - I can see why you're annoyed with your friend. I think sometimes people can become a little 'self-obsessed' when they have DC's, and it sounds like she might have a bit of this going on. I'm sure it wouldn't be that difficult for her to make the effort just once to come up and see you. Difficult one though in terms of what to do...
btw what did you buy from boden?

viva - sorry to hear C poorly. I imagine the carseat was horrible to clean - and smelly

sponge that's awful re. your SIL. Especially as she only came over for her own convenience. fwiw you aren't alone - FIL, having not seen A for over a month, came to our's last night to stay over so I could give him a lift to the train station this morning. He arrived at 8pm, so obviously after A's sleeptime - not seemingly interested at all in seeing him . I find this extra irritating because my parents, who live overseas, would jump at any chance to see A but can't, yet PILs could see him anytime but aren't bothered

I think it was ktpie with the bathbombs. I am very impressed. ktpie you were going to try out your first one - was it good?

abdeen - hope he's ok, poor thing

amber for your sister, that's good news

I had my lavender bath yesterday, it was lovely but I had the problem of bath full of lavender when I ran the water out, I wandered off and forgot about it so DH had to clean it out before he bathed J , this is the recipe, I didn't bother with the drying in the oven bit as my lavender had been drying for a few weeks. I also used vegetable oil as I had it in, didn't seem to make any difference but I may price up almond oil, need some more lavender oil anyway. I would imagine you could make them with other essential oils and dried flowers.
I also made a lavender pillow thing yesterday which came out well so will have to start on my Christmas present making mission soon, am halfway through making some curtains so will finish those first.

BDQ - it's weird holding new babies now isn't it? I held my friends newborn a few weeks ago and couldn't remember what to do, J was 9lb 2 1/2 and always had a strong neck so not used to fragile little babies!

My Mum can be a bit rubbish when it comes to spending time with J. She says a lot of stuff like "I never get chance to spend time with my Grandson" then when she does get chance will always turn up too late to see him before he goes to bed and likes to go out shopping all day so doesn't see him then either, she is coming to stay next week, hope we don't end up having big arguments again.

Abdn - hope the swelling goes down quickly.

Essie - I think I am struggling a bit at the moment with the change in dynamics of relationships with friends now that we have J. Also I have become rubbish at keeping in touch with people, I must make more of an effort. Hopefully I will end up with a few friends left!

BDQ - did you get your ebay problems sorted? I go through ebay phases and bought a load of stuff the other day so this morning a rain coat for J has turned up, he tried it out in his pyjamas and seemed very pleased with it, and 3 pairs of maternity jeans, 2 are a bit questionable but 1 pair are great so happy with that for £15 for all 3.

Better get back to the sewing machine now it is a more reasonable hour, my ancient sewing machine makes a racket.

Hi, registrar phoned to clarify things and it seems like Fraser's testicle is fine We are very relieved!

Essie - I hate the "my baby's perfect" thing, I have a friend who did that but I've realized it's not real and doesn't mean they are coping well. In some ways I think it's a cover-up for insecurity and being on the edge... but it doesn't mean it makes it easy to be on the recieving end! The fact that your friend doesn't want to visit you sounds a bit like she's not coping (nothing wrong with that, it's my regular state of affairs! I'm just happy to admit to it because then I get more support).

BDQ I'm a wuss about DH going away too, it doesn't matter how often he does, I feel the same way every time.

My contribution to the economy today was buying one of the very expensive kiddy stage 123 car seats for DS1. He needs one that's easy to transfer between cars but he's still not anywhere close to the weight limit for a stage 2 seat (he's almost 3 1/2 and all of his friends are already in them). But I'd much rather make other contributions - what did you get from Boden Essie? The GP mum at the school gate has a new Boden coat and it's gorgeous. Personally, I want this.

abdn Really pleased to hear your ds is okay and you have peace of mind.

Amber Fingers crossed for your sister. I had a stitch with m dd's and it gave me a lot of peace of mind though I didn't have one with ds so may not have even needed one but it did make me feel more secure.

Essie Thats a shame your friend is being like that. I have a friend who 'never' has any money but always seems to manage to buy a new car or expensive holidays. Different priorities I suppose.

Sponge Your sil sounds hopeless but she is the one missing out on seeing her wonderful nephew.

ALlnew I think I've been out with dp once alone since ds was born. DP's parents did take the girls on saturday after lunch for a sleepover but we really had to battle to get them to keep them for a few hours extra on sinday - they only seem to want to keep them for one meal so it was the first time they ever had them for two!

Glad Fraser is ok, Abdn.
And thanks to all for nice comments - I think I am being a tiny bit unreasonable, but I do like a bit of effort (in return!) from my friends. But Abdn, what you say about coping makes sense... I make no bones about the fact that I found it quite boring and hard work being at home, and I wasn't 'complete' until I went back to work. But now I am really beginning to wonder about all her 'oh, I'm so busy, not a second spare' business...

Also, sorry to all for such a selfish post last night! I failed to respond to most of you. Doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you, honest. (There was a lot of catching up...)

Recent reports on the credit crunch state that the country is about to move out of recession and into the red. It's to do with major investment in Boden, from an unknown investor on Anglesey...
I bought a cardigan - but not the one Abdn is after, which I now want...
Also this in navy, and this in the turquoise. But they were so lovely I bought a second henley in the green, and a second merino top in the lilac...I'm going to write a stiff letter of complaint to Boden for making clothes that are too nice. The quality is too good as well.

I'm currently looking for cardigans. All the ones in the shops are weird: I think the young people call them boyfriend style. Any suggestions? (Step back, Abdn, I'm too poor for the gorgeous cashmere one!)

Computer keeps crashing and doing weird things. Will be back later to respond properly.

Abdn - glad it is fine, how is the recovery going other than that?

I am not the one to help with fashion related queries, I wandered into a massive clothes shop on Friday and didn't see one thing I would ever consider wearing, must be getting old! The Boden stuff looks nice but is way out of my budget at the moment.

essie the merino stuff is great, really soft and good quality

apparently m&s have those 'boyfriend' cardigans

I've got two boyfriend cardigans - does that make me young . Have one from oasis which I'm rather fond if and got another from markies which is cosy but kind of has M&S written all over it IYSWIM? It's fine for casual day wear though.

On eBay stuff - I got my refund no problem thanks ktpie. Actually have stuff sitting in the post office so must go and collect it!

Amber great news about your sister, fingers crossed that all goes well.

The christmas shopping is scaring me. I have to get dd's birthday (end Oct) and half term over with first and then I really have to get on with it. We have a couple of people who are impossible to buy for though. Dh's 93 year old nan is a nightmare. You are not allowed to buy food/clothes/ornaments for her. What does that leave?

I love the idea of your lavender escapades Ktpie but I don't have the will power to make lots of stuff. I'd have to give up collapsing on the sofa at 8 every night and staring at the tv for an hour and half before staggering off to bed. Given I am still up with J at least twice a night I really can't summon up the energy.

sybil would DH's gran like a calendar with family photos ordered from photobox or somewhere? That's what I did last year (and will probably do this year) and they went down a treat. Sorry, if I'm scaring you with all my Christmas shopping. I don't have any major events between now and then and its a welcome distraction from the revision .

Sorry you're still up twice a night sybil - that must be bloody exhausting. S woke up last night and was screaming, so in my sleepy haze I turned of the monitor and didn't wake again till 7.30am I was tormented with guilt, but he seemed quite happy when we all got up.

Could do with any advice on the following...:

1. I take S to a jo jingles class and in Children in Need week in November it's fancy dress! What on earth do you dress up a one year old in? The class is only 45 mins so I'm pretty reluctant to spend any amount of money on it. Any ideas?

1. I've got a huge pile of S's clothes to sort out. I can't decide whether to give the whole lot away to friends/family/charity shop, sell what I can on ebay/give away the rest, or pack it all away in case we ever have another. I'm softening on this slightly, but it definitely wont be at least for another 3 years, by which time I might struggle to conceive, have a girl, have a boy in a different season blah blah... WWYD? Sorry, I think I've brought this up before but am no nearer to a decision...

bdq - on the clothes front, I had the same dilemma. I pondered on it until I could no longer close the wardrobe doors for the clothes spilling out. Still couldn't bring myself to get rid of them and so last night ended up sticking them in a vacuum bag and hiding them away

Mine are piling up in boxes in the spare room allnew. it's so hard to know what to do! What are others in the same boat doing?

Amber - How far gone is your sister? She really does deserve some happiness so I hope that everything goes smoothly. I know she's been through a lot, but are you ok with her being pregnant. I know it's tough to hear when you're TTC.

Wow Sybil - Poor you, twice a night.

Abdn - If he's not in any pain, then that must be good. Hope the 'lump' goes of it's own accord.

Essie - I'm off to the passport office, NZ house and trailfinders 2m, so will soon know my flight dates. I will be in Bath next week though, so if you're free and have a spare bed (cheeky!) we could pop up and see you the following weekend and save you making the trip to London? Otherwise I think we're looking t flights btw 15th and 25th.

Self centred rant coming up - I'm travelling down to Hastings on Thursday and my Father said he'd like to meet, but has now sent me an email saying he has to work. I know I am being completely self centred, but he hasn't seen me for 30 odd years, don't you think he'd make the effort and get the day off? He's a bar manager not a fireman! (And yes, he knows we're off to NZ shortly). I know that he could be making excuses because of fear and stuff, but it's p'd me off a bit.

I went back to St Georges maternity ward on Saturday (after saying I would never go near the place ever again) for a tour to "create new memories of the place". Can you tell that this was my therapists idea? Well, it was still crap...but the babies were so ridiculously small and beautiful. There's a thread on here somewhere at the moment about the things newborns do that you forget. One of them was the snuffling and moving their heads from side to side when they want a feed. We used to call it "snuffling for truffles". Are you ready for all this again Sponge, KT and Puree? Lucky ladies.

When babies are involved I find friends get a bit weird Essie. Remember my friend that twittered she "hates babies"...Let her settle down and get used to it all and things might get back to normal.

BDQ - The supermarkets are doing pretty cheap halloween wear, would that do for fancy dress? If you look on my FB page, Ry has a long sleeve t-shirt that looks like a skeleton which only cost about £3 at Sainsburys.

I've kept one box of Ry's baby stuff, a special hat, his coming home outfit and a few other things and have been ruthless about the rest. Actually I lie, I gave it to friends hoping that if we ever had another those same friends would pass me their hand me downs in return... The really nice stuff I sent to my SIL in NZ who has a son of 6 months, so if she's kept it all that could be useful in the long run.

Cardigans - no boyf cardis more me, they show up too many lumps and bumps . I do like a lot of the thick almost cabled woollen jackets, capes and stuff around at the moment. Like this.

Sponge - That is disappointing about your friend, esp as she was 'using' you guys for somewhere to stay as well. Just drop lots of hints about the lovely presents she can bring back for A as he will have been so upset to have missed her.

Ok, back to ebaying everything I own!

BDQ - If you're near a H&M, I got Ry a superman babygrow, that could do for fancy dress too? (Again, pics on FB!)

Or Debs could give you instructions for how to make a superman costume from a duster and a pair if underpants...... I take toddlypearls to Jo Jingles. Maybe we'll havre to do the same. Eeek.

Penguin- had forgotten about the snuffling [sighs in melty-style gooey moment!] How cute!
Good news about flights and things- it's all happening!!!!!

Amber- great news about your sister. I second what Penguin said and send big hugs.

[waves to all and sundry as she dashes/waddles off to get toddlypearls from nursery]

ktpie Fraser's doing really well today, except for the swelling, he's totally fine and he was on his bike so it can't be hurting him. One of the worst bits was how tired he was after the surgery...

I've given away 95% of the boy's clothes but I'm sure if I ended up with another kid (eek!), another mum would pass on her hand-me-downs. I love the idea of another by the way, it's just that I'm barely coping as it is.

PP sounds like your father could be nervous... I hope it works out for you before you leave though.

essie I'm window shopping at Boden, although if you added your two tops together it would be the same price as the cashmere cardi! I like the whole boyfriend look - I might try M&S as that's more in my budget...

Abdn I think you're coping pretty well! And great news about Fraser. But I am now going to shun you - I did not need that comment which demonstrated how much I just spent...

All you boyfriend cardigan wearers must be younger than me... Or taller? Anything long (ish!) makes me look like a hobbit.

BDQ is it close enough to Christmas to go for the Christmas Elf look? I stumbled on that one by accident - I was wearing my new green Henley and I tried on a bright red skirt... How about a pumpkin? No idea how you would go about that, but it would be cool...

I'm still storing all the baby clothes in the loft...so, UDC, looks like I haven't totally decided I'm definitely not having another... Although all this talk of newborns is making me all broody! I wonder whether this will get worse what with Sponge, Ktpie and Puree sending me reminders that it can be done...

PP I'm in Wales! I'm away this coming weekend, and the weekend 24-25th, but otherwise here. I have two spare beds! And I love having visitors! I will make some of my (not) famous chocolate brownies and everything. (I'm quite a long way from Bath though...)
Won't have Ktpie's bath bombs though - they sound great. And the oil in the bath, erm, demonstrates they're good?

Amber great news about your sister. Having a stitch in the cervix is quite common, isn't it, and has a superb success rate. (After her last experiences it did sound like that - I can't remember what it's called.)

Sybil so sorry you're up at night like that. It's so hard. 100% sympathy here. How is Jamie doing with his eating these days?

Goingto haven't seen you for ages - did you just sneak in there? How are things? (or have I just totally been silly and you've been here all along?)

Got to go now to speak to my sister - she's broken her arm!

Just dropping in to mark my spot.

PILS gone home and I am now back from a hectic hen weekend. I am now gearing up for parents arriving so they can babysit for the wedding on Friday.

Sorry not to write anything personal, but am thinking of you all.