June 08- the shoes, the food, the glamour!

[pureeandpearls]

Struggling to load pages these days and saw we were over the 900 so took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Deb !!!!!!!! congrats! I hope you work out a deal with the buyer but I'm thrilled for you. You could try your offer of working - see what she says... is it the small apartment you'd be staying in?

neenz re work, I kept going with DS1 thinking it'd be worth it financially but the strain on our family wasn't (as obviously we weren't dependent on my income since we don't have it now). 9+ months is a long time to scramble if you don't need the money.

DH and I are fighting - he's going offshore tomorrow and has meetings at work today and I'm feeling very annoyed with how his company treats him. He just wants to be the good employee and I keep having to remind him that he's not an employee - that they didn't offer him a permanent job. Long story but lots of stress. I think I'm more emotionally invested because it feels a bit like I quit work to allow him to do this job (it's not one where you can leave early to pick up the kids). But I have to remind myself that I quit work because Duncan wasn't happy. I am i didn't get a call-back after that interview though as I would really love to have DH tell his work they could manage without him for a week or two (would panic them completely) and I could go and work....Vindictive? yes!

Brilliant news on the house deb - I managed to miss that completely last night. Yay!

great news deb, fingers crossed

neenz - lol at esther and theo standing on eachother, tis a funny image.

I'm glad to hear that others are also having the toddler tantrums already. A is so strong-willed, if things are going just his way he goes crazy. Got his first shoes yesterday and he did not appreciate having his feet measured at all - threw a wobbler and then a bigger one when the shoes were put on him. I was mortified and had to cheer him up with treats to get a smile for the photo. He only really cheered up when a little girl did the same - why do they love seeing other little ones crying?

A nights sleep hasn't cured the grumpiness, maybe he is getting more teeth (she says hopefully!). Glad I'm not the only one with a bolshy toddler!
BDQ - J isn't sensible enough to check he won't hurt himself, in fact he seems to use it as a good excuse to rev up the crying to screaming level!

Debs - that is brilliant news about the house! How annoying that you can't speak to Nigel straight away.
It seems like a reasonable request to stay on but I would be concerned about staying in a house that I had already sold, wouldn't want any issues about being liable for any problems that happened between selling and moving out, but I'm sure you could get round that and I think I am unnecessarily cautious about these things.

Neenz - sounds like you want to quit! Certainly for me it didn't make much sense financially to be working, it's not just the childcare but all the other costs just to get yourself into work every day, fuel, lunches, clothes etc etc. You end up slogging your guts out every day to be end up with hardly anything. But the maternity pay would be a bonus.

BDQ - I just looked up maternity allowance and you have to have worked for 26 weeks out of the 66 weeks prior to your due date. I quit in June and am due in February, would they class being off on unpaid maternity leave as working? There is a slight chance I might be eligible although I haven't done the sums yet. Now that would be a nice surprise! I bet there is some reason I'm not eligible.

Abdn - Hope you manage to make up with your DH before he goes away. Annoying about the interview.

Ktpie i'm not too hot on maternity allowance rules, but you are still employed when you're on maternity leave so to me, that would count as working. It's def worth looking into and maybe speaking to a benefits advisor. Remember to put in a new claim for child tax credits when the new baby arrives, and if you get working families tax credits it's worth find out if you'll be due any more too.

Great news Deb! I bet there's a lot of excitement in your house.

1st day of half-term today. 11 days with all 4 at home, and DH is going to be away for part of it and working the rest. The cleaner is coming today and I'm trying to pick up the mess so she can actually clean. DD1 and DD2 are "making muffins" which apparently entails emptying out the cupboards. THey are playing so sweetly together and I am so knackered that I am pretending not to notice.

ktpie- maternity leave counts toward your 26 weeks- I'm currently filling in the MA paperwork. Neenz- not sure you are entitled to anything if you are not working at all...that's why I've kept working.

Debs- that is such AWESOME news about the house. You must be delighted!

Good luck those of you on half-term........

Abdn sorry about you and your DH. I hope you can make up. It sounds as though work is a real source of anxiety for your family - I'm sorry.

I went to a parents' night last night. DS1 usually loves school but isn't very happy at the moment. I don't think he likes his teacher very much this year. DS2 is doing well but has apparently become very solitary and quiet. He says he's happy but he hardly talks to anyone and doesn't speak in class either. DD has settled well into reception and likes it, but is apparently quite aggressive (just like at home ) and has hit a few teachers and doesn't like tidying up. And Thea, who is generally so easy, keeps scratching me and pulling stroppy girl faces. So I'm worried about all of them now.

Sorry you're having a rough time of it rolf. I not really in a position to offer any advice with only having a toddler but am sure some of the others might have something helpful to say.

About half-term... When I went to school it was for a week? What's all this 11 days stuff? DN has just gone back after a week and a half. Completely unnecessary IMO.

Hi, yes it's all very exciting BUT like Ktpie says - it's not straightforward. Staying on when she's bought it could bring more problems, probably the best scenario is that she makes an offer, pays the deposit - then it's legally binding here, and she buys at the end of the season and we move out. Friends of ours did that when they bought here, didn't move in until the end of the season.Still haven't heard anything from the estate agent though so I've just e-mailed them.

Great to have Nigel back and lovely to have mil here playing with Ethan.

Rolf - sorry to hear about your worries, I don't think there's ever a time when you don't worry about your children is there?

Deb fantastic news about the house. I'm sure you will be able to work out the issues and then you will be able to think about looking at houses here - where are you going to go, have you decided yet?

Rolf - I'm so sorry parents evening was upsetting. There is nothing worse than thinking your kids are unhappy and sad at school. Your dd1 has only been at reception a little while though, she needs time to learn the ropes and then maybe things will start to improve. For the boys, maybe you could do a few 'having people over for tea' evenings to help foster friendships. I find this does help to gel playground relationships, although it is bloody hard work so I tend to do it on fridays when dh can often come home from work a bit earlier to help out. Sorry, I know that isn't much help. Other than keeping in close contact with the school to try and improve things, I'm not sure what else to suggest.

I had parents evening yesterday too, and both of my kids are also reluctant to speak up in class. I think they are just quite shy and need a bit longer with their new teachers to find their confidence. Ds1 is also very anxious naturally and has been having a few teary episodes (he's 8). We were worried his teacher/friends were going to be jumping on this a bit but fortunately his new teacher is very sympathetic and his friends very nice. It doesn't seem to have become an issue so far but I'm not sure what to do to help him. I have been being a bit brisk and 'don't be silly' about it, but now I think maybe I am making things worse by not being more supportive. It's so hard. I don't want him to think it's ok to burst into tears over every little thing, but at the same time I don't want him to feel even more anxious about bursting into tears - which makes him do it more.

Neenz - is the money really worth it if you want to leave? I'd be inclined to just quit and spend the time with the twins before the new little one(S!) get here!

waves to everyone else. Am meant to be packing for holiday so must dash.

BDQ - I could kiss you! Be glad you are many miles away! Looks like I should be eligible for maternity allowance, have just been filling in the forms, Puree - thanks for your help and what's with the question about your local post office? Does everyone need to fill that in? Bit random.
Idiot here had looked at it before but not read it probably and thought you had to have been working for 26 weeks of your pregnancy, not of the 66 weeks before your due date, even I haven't been pregnant for 66 weeks although it feels like it. It's made my day, £100+ a week is a hell of a lot to us at the moment!
I was already on the case of tax credits and child benefit, although thanks for mentioning it as I am apparently dizzy and don't read things properly at the moment

Rolf and Sybil - hope things get sorted at school, I have to say I'm not looking forward to that aspect of children growing up, it must be so hard and worrying. Sorry I'm not any help.

Debs - the legally binding deposit bit sounds good to me, that sounds like a good solution. Hope you hear from the estate agent soon. Good point Sybil, where are you going to live over here?

Someone brought their week old baby to Tiny Talk this morning, very sweet, her toddler is 13 months, I was amazed that she had managed to get out of the house for 9.30 in the morning with toddler and week old newborn, plus it looked like she had done her hair and she looked fresh as a daisy, nothing like I would have looked if I had managed that feat. She did have her husband with her but still I was impressed.

I have a load of my old junk my Mum dug out of her house that I am meant to be sorting out today, DH keeps reminding me about it, after the excitement of Tiny Talk, a trip to Tescos and sorting out maternity allowance I'm ready for a nap though.

Debs that is so exciting about the house! Fab news

Sybil and Rolf, so sorry your DCs are not having a great time in school. It just makes you want to cuddle them really tight and home-school them! But I remember I used to have little troubles at school all the time, crying, falling out with friends etc and I just used to get on with it - kids are very resilient. I never had trouble speaking up in class tho you'll be surprised to hear

With work, I only do two days a week so I don't feel I miss out on too much with the DTs - although I would rather be home with them. Giving up would cost me around £6,000 in maternity pay (6mths at half pay plus SMP) so I think it is worth carrying on just for a few more months. Definitely not coming back after that though. I spoke to my GP today about the private referral, he will fill in the forms but is going to do day-21 blood tests and blood tests during my period to measure my hormones, so by the time the insurance have decided whether they will cover me I should already have the bloods done

Oh that's great ktpie. So pleased for you! Just remember to set yourself some kind of reminder to phone up the tax credits people for both working families tax credit AND child tax credits once the new baby has come. Easy to forget all about it in the madness.

Waves to everyone else.

ktpie, that's great news about the MA. I agree with BDQ that ML definitely should count as working, it is certainly 'in employment' isnt it. MA/SMP is nearly £5k in total isn't it

Which means if I leave work I only lose about £1,800 in company mat pay - the rest is SMP. Must get PG first!

DH and I no longer fighting - he called at half nine and we were both done being upset. Work is a huge source of stress for us - it really colours far too much of our life.

I'm wiped - I just took both boys swimming, then for lunch in the horrible poolside cafe before going to soft play. They had a brilliant time though and the weather is so bad here (the roads are flooded and for a moment I wasn't sure I could make it home) that we needed to do something active indoors.

As for half term - I only have one more day left !!! But Rolf sorry to hear that parents night was difficult to hear - it's never what we expect with kids is it?

neenz glad your dr. is starting the tests!

good news ktpie!

waves...

BDQ - good tip about setting up a reminder.

Neenz - I don't think it's far off that

I tried ringing the jobcentre to get some answers and get them to send me a form but I got a bloke who spent ages asking me loads of questions about everything under the sun only to say at the end "You aren't entitled to anything at the moment", err yes but my question was WILL I be entitled to MA and can I have the relevant form, his response was that you can't receive it until 11 weeks before your due date so ring back in a couple of weeks. Hmm different to the advice on the website then that says you can apply at 26 weeks, you need to send in the form and a load of pay slips and to ring the jobcentre for a form, anyhow downloaded the form from the website so I can get it sorted. Anyhow enough of my ranting.

Neenz - good news about the blood tests.

I didn't manage to have a nap and J is up now, attempting to sneakily eat all of the biscuits.

Hi everyone - anyone fly with Ryanair regularly?

We've booked accomodation next June for a holiday and Ryanair are the only people to fly to the nearest airport. They've just released their flights and it'll come to over £500 including baggage! I'm better out holding out for one of their flight promo's aren't I? We've still got the car hire on top which makes it very expensive. If I have to pay that kind of price I think I'd be better off paying a bit more for accomodation nearer an airport with more airline options. I'm thinking that they're bound to do 'book your summer flight now' type deals right after Christmas. There's only one flight a week though, so if we dont get on that flight then we'll need to look elsewhere. I think I'd rather lose the £50 deposit than shell out for expensive flights though.

Sorry, I'm rambling!

I just got my new rain jacket x10! And Rolf it isn't cut for petit french women - I'd say normal-ish sized. I will be able to get lots of layers under mine but with just a tee still looks good. The faux-fur collar looks a bit odd though - DS1 has suggested I take it off mummy!

Thanks for the kind thoughts but I feel a bit of a fraud now. Our parents evening was actually really good apart from the crying/cofidence thing. Both kids were discribed by their teachers as 'lovely' and 'a plesure to teach' so we are very lucky. I just don't know how to address the crying thing and that worries me.

Glad the rain jacket is nice Abdn, it sounds great and very functional yet stylish! I gave up on packing when I failed to locate my one pair of shorts, obviously they didn't get alot of wear over the summer and now I can't find the bloody things. I have ordered a pair from Next in the hope they turn up tomorrow but I sulked rather than packed for the rest of the day.

Great news on the MA ktpie, now, what are you going to spend it on

BDQ - wish I could be of some help but don't have any further insight, bit of a dilemma, I'm not too sure what I would do. I'd worry about the flight being booked up if I waited but wouldn't want to spend that sort of money. Have you started pricing up other options?

Abdn - coat sounds great, I wore my new one today and was nice and toasty!

Sybil - DH is adamant any extra money must be saved, he's probably right, we have no savings at all at the moment, anything we had got sucked up by moving house, and it is slightly concerning that if something major happens that we haven't got any spare cash, boring though! I might be able to siphon some off for me and the baby

bdq - is it bergerac you're flying to? Just guessing, as I think you said you were going near there. If so, could you go bmi baby to bordeaux?

rolf - sorry to hear about news from parents eve. It all probably collectively seems a lot worse, whereas each individual child probably just a mixture of circumstances. It sounds very common that someimes child/teacher relationship just doesn't hit it off and that the following year with new teacher all is fine. Hope things improve (I'm dreading all this stuff)

abd - glad you're no longer rowing with DH

It's Poitiers that we're flying to. Once exams out of the way I'll start pricing up other options. Flight and car rental would come to 700-800 as it stands and I'd rather spend more of that on the fun part! Am hopeful for cheap flight deal a bit later on. Watch put for any adverts won't you all!

No idea why I put the airport in bold!