Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

So L's not the kind of girl to take a rest, I wonder where she gets that from . Don't beat yourself about L being upset about P's crying I would be more focusing on the fact that you've helped her express her sadness about it. It would be lovely if our babies never got sad and distressed but unfortunately they do, the next best thing is to help them express their feelings effectively and help them to feel ok about having negative feelings, and let them know it's normal.

Arti when you change your name we won't mention anything to do with your job, but will miss your name. Lovely to hear from you by the way.

Oh Trace the house sorting is coming along. Just hope no one wants to view this place until the weekend cos it's still a bit of a tip

Had a lovely day. I went to the garden center on my own and pottered around. I'm pulling up all my veggies and planting some shrubs and other little hardy plants as well as putting in some little sandstone pavers as a little stepping stone path (£1.48 each so cheap). Then we went to a couple of car dealerships to look at the cars the DH has been given as options for his work car in the netherlands. I think we are gonna go with a VW touran cos it's got lots of seats and room and car stuff. Then we met some friends for a Sunday carvery lunch (sans the meat for us) to a great pub called the bear in Alderwasley near Matlock. My niece loved it as it's a lovely drive through the peak district through cute little villages. Then we went to see a 4000 year old stone circle. It was the same one we visited last year on my birthday a week before DS2 was born so it was nice to take him back there. Again my niece loved it as we don't have anything like that back home. Last of all we went to Bakewell for some Bakewell puddings yum. So a very English day for my niece. Unfortunately poor DS2 had had enough of the day by the time we drove home and screamed the whole way back home but was still a lovely day.

This week is the final push we will finish sorting out the house, then we are coming down to London next week from tuesday - Thursday. If anyone fancies a meet up on the Thursday let me know could do a morning coffee maybe on the Thursday?

Trace chin up, it's half term soon so L can get a good rest and hopefully you too, then things will look alot brighter. Hugs to you x

Trace: I was going to post that it was great Lucy could talk to you about why she is feeling sad but Veggie got in first! I think we have to get used to hearing negative things from our kids (and partners, and teachers...) as well as positive ones. I find it really hard not to take such things as personal criticism, but they aren't .

Re: sleep. I've backtracked a bit on the feeds as a) I was being inconsistent with the way I dealt with DS2's wakings and b)I'm not ready to stop night feeds yet. The updated situation is that DS2 goes to sleep in his cot (yay!) and isn't fed again till we go to bed (if he wakes up) and then usually has another feed before his early morning sleepy feed at 5/6 before I get up. Which sounds loads but is doable for us. Next stage is to get him back into his cot each time rather than falling asleep together in the middle of the night!

Spot: sorry to hear Mr T has been so ill . Hope he is recovering now and you get to enjoy the new house and being by the sea . I love seaside resorts in the winter, everyone buggers off bar the locals and you can have windy seaside walks.

Veggie: yay on the new house! Do you have a moving date?

Arti: DS1 is in nursery for the first time as well, I rather like the transition from more personal childcare before 3 and then gradually getting him into a nursery setting. He seems to like it so far

One a completely non-child related note, I am enjoying having more reading time on my commute and have just started reading a book by Osbert Lancaster on Byzantine architecture of all things. Sounds a lot more intellectual than it is, I suspect him of making a fair amount of it up (or at least glossing over the historical subtleties) in favour of a good story. Plus it has startling colour illustrations that seem to fox my fellow commuters (mostly Sun-reading men in black suits). Having a good hour's reading time is such a luxury for me that it makes up for the long train journey . I'm usually too impatient or tired to read 'serious' books so it's a good chance to catch up on stuff that's been sitting on my shelf for years ages. Next up: the Count of Monte Cristo .

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in setting up a book swap, or just recommendations? I know LadyT has suggested some great stuff in the past but I can't remember what any of the titles were .

Hi Veggie. I could meet up next week, if you've got time while in London. I just have a couple of weeks left before I go back to work so have to make the most of getting out and about!

Effie very keen to swap books and/or recommendations! Reading on the train is the thing I'm most looking forward to about going back to work in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll get a chance to tackle the pile of magazines that have been building up since DS was born .

Well, the train books I've done so far are The Thought Gang (more annoying than I remembered) and The Three Musketeers (far better than I remembered). I'm coming to the conclusion that total escapism is the way to go.

PMK quick update for you, 2 days past AF due date and nothing so far, not ready to test yet, but will letyou know when/ if I am

Oh Katie so excited!!! Are you really quite regular?

Mom can you do thursday morning around 11am, not sure where will we see who is interested and then choose a place?

Effie I love Byzantine Architecture. I spent a bit of time in Istanbul and other parts of Turkey and was a bit of a byzantine geek. I also love Islamic art and architecture those middle eastern kids where great with their aesthetically pleasing and long lasting building designs.

Well after everything so nicely falling into place it has quite quickly fallen apart on the move front. The lovely place we chose has actually been promised to someone else. The landlady had told her own estate agent but he had not informed the other agents. (in the netherlands estate agents share out the vacant lets on their books so any agent can show them). Anyway was moment of stress and DH considered taking another place he had looked at that was further away. Then I suggested we see about getting a moving truck service thing that takes a bit longer (like 3 weeks) and is cheaper and we'll get a furnished short let propert and look for something when we get there. I think in the long run this will be better as we will maybe find somewhere a bit cheaper and where we are sure we want to live. Anyway, our estate dude who was really sorry for the hassle (he's a friend of a friend so wants to look after us) has already found us a place we can have for a month for not too expensive and it has a back garden so nice.

Veggie - 11 am on Thursday is good for us. We can come anywhere as it sounds like you'll be quite rushed and hopefully some others can join us too.

Hello everyone,

How odd that P and my DD have conjunctivitis - can it be e-contagious?! Hope P's clears up quickly. We've still got guck but it is on the mend.

trace Don't beat yourself up about L's comments. She trusts you enough to tell you what the matter is.

kayz at your HV. That is bonkers and terribly unprofessional.

spot Poor T, glad he is on the mend. That must have been scary. Hope you get unpacked and start enjoying your new surroundings soon.

veggie That sounds like a good idea. It would be nice to be able to choose somewhere together.

effie That is an excellent idea! I'd be up for swapping or recommendations. I read Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde the other day - the print size tested my eyes a little but it was very good.

katie OOooh how exciting. Test!! TEST!

We have had a really difficult few days with DD being snotty in the night and me having to sleep sat up. Fingers crossed we're over the worst now. Oh and PMK You are mixing me up with someone else as I am not on facebook and don't have a dog!!

Hello all

Am so behind - sorry. But have been reading and trying to post and then giving up. Useless. Am back at work, and we have found a nanny but I'm just not sure about it all. DD was apparently really upset today. So I'm going to give it until the end of Nov and see how it goes. Ho hum.

I don't work on Thursdays though so would love to come to a meet up. Veggie where are you going to be?

And Effie yes to book swapping ideas. The C of M C has been sitting untouched on our shelf for years. Actually we've just had some new shelves put up and I have spent far too much time pondering how to organise the books. I am completely retentive a bit particular about it. Am currently reading Wolf Hall and Phineas Finn - where I've got up to in my Trollope craze. Which sounds more exciting than it actually is. Both books are too heavy to cart around on the train though. Pathetic but true.

DH is having stressful time at work too, and I can't but help looking back on earlier in the year when we had so much time together. Am not sure we've got the balance right really.

Sorry - depressing - will try to be more cheerful next time.

Also I like these

but think these dilute the sentiment somewhat.

As you were....

hi folks, T is temporarily besotted with miss hoolie so I have a second to come on. JB, blimey, you poor thing, are you getting any sleep at all? Hope DD gets better soon.

Urbane, that sounds really tough about the nanny situation, as well as the DP work stress. you seem to be dealing with it very pragmatically, which is much more than I would in your situation. Hope things settle down a bit for you. The nov deadline sounds v sensible.

Veggie bummer about the move but sounds like it's a better idea for the long term. Are you getting excited yet?

T's poorly bum has finally cleared up and yesterday we thought it had been replaced by the pox as he was covered in spots but they have magically disappeared this morning. The sleeping's a bit of a prob though, he's still v unsettled and was up every 90 mins in the night and then up for the day at 5.20. Maybe he's cold as we've moved from new build flat to victorian semi. At the mo he's in a vest, sleepsuit and 2.5 tog bag but not sure if he should have a cover on that too?

Not had a chance to unpack yet or even see the sea but will hopefully do a bit of both today.

Morning,

Urbane Hope you can sort out work. It is a very good idea to set a deadline.

Veggie Hope you find a nice house soon. How is the packing going?

Hope everyone is well. I am knackered after being up most of the night.

morning all, sorry I haven't been on, just no time to post atm. I do think of you all regularly though & wonder how you're doing!

spot glad the move went well, and that T seems ok. I remember ds1 being obsessed with Miss Hoolie as well, was v relieved when he grew out of that one

veggie sorry you lost the house but hopefully you'll find something better once you're there. I'm v impressed by your relaxed attitude to it all, I'd be a screaming wreck by now! I would've loved to have met up for a coffee but ds1 does odd hours at school so wouldn't be able to

urbane setting a deadline sounds like a great idea, I hope dd settles soon with the nanny though.

kayz sorry about your bad night. Any chance of a rest today or are you working? And at your HV, what terrible advice!

trace is P any better? I hope L is ok as well, you're obviously a fantastic mummy as she can confide in you and trust you to be able to talk to you. Big hugs

jolly how's dd? Hope you had a better night last night

I am also living vicariously (sp?) through katie & pmk! I have decided that I will have a 3rd but will wait until I've finished my training. So dh doesn't know as he would want to try now.

Hello to everyone else - effie, MoM, ladyt, zj, daisy, wg - sorry if I've missed anyone out.

Right must get on. Need to get ds1 ready for school, then tidy up the house, try & figure out the school application process and get some bits ready as ds1 wants to make some xmas gift tags this afternoon!

Will try & keep up properly, promise!

Morning

katie how exciting - please test asap!!!!

veggie sorry to hear the house you found has already gone. But i do think the short term let sounds like a good idea, rather than making a hasty decision on what that might not be right for you all.

jolly & spot on the sleep front for you. Afraid I can only add my sympathies and say I know how you feel. Oh and kayz sounds like another bummer of a night for you too.

urbane I hope the nanny issue resolves itself for you. I also hope that your Dh gets to de-stress abit from work too. Just sending love your way.

DS still a sod monkey in the night, but there are signs of improvement...I think

SIL finds out today if she is having a boy or a girl...I do feel like the IL's expect me to react like this is the second coming or something. I know its awful but she irritates me and I can't get excited for her

tilly x post!

< waves to tilly >

Hey Tilly

Great news on the 3rd!!! I really really want to start trying now but DH wont let me. I am working today. 11:30 until 16:30 and I am all on my own so probably won't get my break.

Daisy MIL treated SIL DD2 like she was the second coming. She is 6 weeks younger than DS2 and it sometimes feels like he just isn't important.

trace and jb - sorry for the conjunctivitis, that's a bit miserable, hope everyone is better soon. And trace, glad L was able to talk to you - it must be reassuring to at least know what is going on, and know that it is something that will get better in time.

spot - glad a bit better at yours, do hope you get a chance to enjoy your new surroundings!

veg - it'll be more fun if you get to be involved in choosing where you live! So although it is annoying for now, it may be for the best.

katie - very exciting - will be watching for news!

urbane - sorry it all sounds a bit stressful. When I went back had a lot of wailing from DD for about two or three days and then she was fine about it (this was with a nanny she already knew though). I guess they're never totally happy with you disappearing off - this morning the first thing DD said to me was "mummy stay today", but on the other hand she waved me off when the time came and I know both DD and DS are always happy to see their nanny in the morning and have a good time when I am not there. So don't worry too much, see how it goes. It is a grind the whole work thing, especially when things aren't going as well as you'd like (for me anyway) but see how it goes.

effie - yes to book recommendations! Those Dumas things are much more addictive than you'd think - and I found much more exciting than the TV/film adaptations. I remember staying up all night once in my teens to get through the Count of Monte Christo. If you're keen on Dumas, you might want to give Arturo Peretz-Reverte a whirl - he kind of does a knowing, modern take on Dumas, with a bit of a Name of the Rose style Umberto Eco twist - try the Dumas Club, the Fencing Master, the Nautical Chart etc. They are good fun. As for what I'm reading, I found a cheap online deal (bookpeople) for the booker shortlist so am working my way through them at the mo, but the hardbacks are definitely hefty on the tube!

So can you guess who I am? Is it TOO easy to guess who I am??

I have a stomach bug today so have loads of time to obsess over this and to catch-up properly.

oooooooohhh, i LOVE aubergines!!!

@ Aubergines

Loving it

OK, so 2 out of 2 so far . Looking good. I will try it for the day and see how it feels. I am an aubergine obsessive in RL. Because we lived in Turkey when I was younger we cooked a LOT of aubergines and now I have been known to get the tube across London just to fine the proper long thin Middle Eastern ones that you never get in supermarkets. Once I have got them I salt them for hours before cooking. It drives DH mad as he claims salting makes no difference but it SO does.

Anyhow. Let me try a quick catch-up.

Katie - How on earth can you be two days late and not test?? You have the patience of a saint. If I have even been near an unwrapped DH I start testing from about a week before AF is due. I am so excited to hear your result. Might you consider testing soon (for me ?).

Spot - what a miserable move you have had. Thank God you did not get ill too. Regarding the spots I think it is very normal for babies to get spotty rashes at the end of a virus. My GP says its part of their attempt to flush the virus out. Anyway I hope you get to see the sea today.

Daisy JB and Trace - I am so sorry to hear about your nights. Fingers crossed for a quick improvement.

Trace - I have been lurking and reading about L and her accidents. My DD1 has been the same - lots of wees in her pants for no apparent reason. I know she is younger than L, and has only been trained for 6 months, but I do think it is not an unusual reaction to upheaval and change. How is L doing now? I have started a reward system with DD1 to give her the motivation to start getting to the toilet again.

Veggie - Sorry you lost the house but a short-term let may give you the oppurtunity to find the perfect long-term place. When do you actually move? I love your theory on the analgesic affects of BM, with both my girls I have really noticed that BM seems to cure all ills. I had put it down to the comfort of the warm close cuddle but I think you may be right that it is more than that as a plain cuddle never cuts it when they want the breast.

WG - How are you feeling about work now? I would stop it if there is no financial need for you to be there. Esp if you are thinking of TTC soon, you just don't need the stress.

Urbane - Sorry that you are feeling wobbly about the work/family balance. How are you feeling about work itself? Are you enjoying the new job? And how many weeks has the new nanny been in position? It took DD2 a good 2-3 weeks to really accept the new nanny.

Effie - You are making me feel like I waste me commute as I never read books on the Tube. In fact I use the commute to catch-up with their thread on my phone? I am not sure that is as noble a cause as learning about Byzantine Art. Must. Try. Harder.

LadyT - I hope you are having a lovely time in Bruges.

Well I am stuck in my bedroom all day. I was throwing-up all night and so am too weak and queasy for work and I can't go downstairs because the nanny is down there with the kids and if they know I am here they will never let me rest again and will refuse to settle back down with the nanny. I feel bad hiding from them but I am dizzy and sick every time I stand-up so I can't really play with them and I don't want to ruin the nanny's day. Is that terrible? I am making excuses aren't I?

Aubergines - a fine vegetable and a fine name! The middle eastern bit (salting, and also enough oil) does make a difference doesn't it? Otherwise there is lots of aubergine abuse when people cook it. Had lots of nasty veggie meals with raw aubergine. It makes me sad when people say they don't like it, because you can bet they have only had terrible version.

I've been avoiding this thread like the plague as I knew you would want me to test! I am being very self disciplined and have decided I'll test after the weekend if still no AF. My periods have been a bit irregular since DD, so it could be that they're just running a little late, so to speak. Also, I'm quite enjoying the uncertainty of it all, and if it is a BFN then I don't want to know just yet, IYSWIM. Having said all that I'll probably lose patience soon and do a test anyway, which I will of course let you know the outcome of.
I'm keeping myself very busy by having a complete clear out here. I have already filled 4 boxes for a car boot that I'm probably never going to get around to doing, but it is making me feel better. I don't think DS is going to be too pleased when he gets homefrom school though, he has lost at least one box of toys and I've taken down all of his random posters and stickers, but then maybe he won't even notice !
Hope you feel better soon Aubergine. BTW, love the new name, but it's not so easy to shorten as the last one

Great name Aub (see?)

You are being very disciplined Katie, I would def be testing by now. Best of luck!

DS1 storring, better go before the howls start!