April 2009 - Chapter 5 - The one where no-one is allowed to feel guilty (except about all the chocolate...)

[Guimauve]

There will be chocolate fines for the guilty!

Ah, so obviously Boff, you had left 12oz because that is what you had determined you were giving Felix, based on the graduations on your breasts. Perhaps your breasts have been incorrectly calibrated? Were you lining up the bottom of the meniscus with the line? Maybe you are marked up in US ounces?

Actually I have Anglo-German breasts (presumably one which works in fluid ounces and one which work in millilitres) and I notice that the Avent storage cups are marked up in US ounces, so clearly this is the source of the problem. :.))

I did in fact point DH towards male lactation technology ...

My freezer stash is running low at the moment as can't be bothered to express except enough for O's baby porridge each day... hmmmm... seems I will be tied to the little monster morning, noon and night unless I get my arse into gear and start stockpiling again.

I am officially A Bad Mother

O has been screamy all day. This is not particularly unusual but this afternoon it was through the roof screamy. His teeth are definitely bothering him as he's gumming everything and dribbling like mad. He was so upset this afternoon and after two hours of it I gave in and gave him 2.5ml of baby nurofen. Half an hour later he's on his playmat happy as larry - poor little mite was clearly in pain

Alternatively there is an outside chance of some sort of titration issue or perhaps a rinsing error that gave the wrong concentration ultimately (like in my O'Level Chemistry practical), hence higher levels of crying per fl oz.

Hey hey hey! Those s look a little guilty. Chocolate fine for Bicnod! I declare your fine to be at least one standard-sized bar of Dairy Milk, or equivalent weight of chocolate of your choice. The term 'standard-sized' should be interpreted as you see fit.

Has BoffinDad got one of those t-shirts you linked to for me the other day?

So, if V1 x C1 = V2 x C2, where V1 = volume of milk left, C1 = level of crying at that volume, V2 = actual volume of milk needed and C2 = desired level of crying, we find that:

(measuring crying on a 1-10 scale, and assuming Felix reached level 6 on running out of milk)

12 x 6 = V2 x 1

V2 = 72 ounces milk required to reach an acceptably low level of crying.

Sorry Boff, you're clearly going to have to step up the expressing before tomorrow!

I want this. I don't care if it reinforces gender stereotypes

haha - have already eaten my chocolate fine... it was 3/4 a big bar of divine dark chocolate and it was yummy. DH had hidden it for emergencies so i had to phone him at work to find its whereabouts (control freak?!)

O just sneezed three times while eating his tea and covered my face in baby porridge

ooooo, gui, i love that...

I spoke to BB a few days ago. She's just really busy with her whirlwind of a baby. She was fine when I spoke to her

Jumeirah, George loves other babies. He doesn't really play properly yet, but he 'talks' to them & finds them fascinating. It'd be more for me than him to begin with, though.

Rachel, I have the same hair problems. My side of the bed looks like a shagpile. (Nutty, get your bloody internet sorted!)

Boff, you see right through me. You callous bitch. I thought we had something special.

I love the breastfeeding theory. To be honest, it's simply not good enough - express until you're raw, woman!

Gui, standard size chocolate in this house is 400g

We've just sat down & looked at our timetables for uni (I've decided which modules I'm doing & there'll be hell on if I can't do them because they're oversubscribed. I'm working on the theory that I get priority because of the baby. Other things may fit in the timetable, but I want these ) & we've allocated 25 hours a week of time for George to be at the childminder. Including 3 hours on a Friday when neither of us has anything at uni

I'm so excited about my modules & can't wait to get back to it now. I love literature & it's going to be so good to use my brain again!

STOP IGNORING ME, I DEMAND TO BE HEARD

Springy - i'm very jealous. I really want to do some more study when we have the money. (That will be never then). Otherwise I fear becoming a helicopter parent and getting my girls to sit their A levels at 10.

Who said that?

These are my optional modules (feel free to ignore the next two paragraphs - I'm just full of excitement & want to share what I'm doing whether or not you care ):

The second half of the eighteenth century is often cited as the period when men and women were literally and metaphorically consigned to separate spheres. According to this view, the 'rise of the middle class' brought with it the construction of the 'domestic woman' and the 'proper lady' whose authority was limited to the private sphere. This module will explore and problematise the 'private/public' binary on which this version of gendered and class-marked identity is premised. Its principal literary focus will be the literature of sensibility, reformist and reactionary attitudes towards femininity embodied in these texts, focusing particularly on debates about marriage, maternity and prostitution in Britain between 1750 and 1800. The module will include texts by Samuel Richardson, Hannah More, Sarah Scott, Mary Wollstonecraft and Mary Hays.

This course will examine fictional and non-fictional, literary and filmic, representations of the Holocaust, and considers the use and extension of conventional textual forms to do so, including documentary film, memoir, short story and cartoon. Texts covered will include Elie Wiesel's 'Night', Claude Lanzmann's film 'Shoah', Martin Sherman's 'Bent', Martin Amis's 'Time's Arrow' and Ida Fink's stories in 'A Scrap of Time'.

My mum, dad & sister say that it sounds really boring & 'not their thing'. But I think it sounds fabulous.

& Puzzle, I'd have probably quite enjoyed doing A Levels at 10. I'd have failed abysmally, but it would've been fun to try.

Springy, I am so impressed that you have enough braincells available for this... there's no way I could read anything more taxing than the Funday Times at the moment (and no, that wasn't a typo).

I am truly jealous as I love studying (I am, always have been and always will be a total geek).

Springy - Don't encourage me. I'm already teaching Ellen French.

Puzzle? Has she been here?

Bicnod why doesn't dh want Oscar to have a dummy? Oh and good plan. I intend to go back to work for a month 2 days a week on limited hours then quit. I to am mostly made of cake or chocolate Time to get a WII when the new WII Fit comes out in October. Till then cake, cake I say!!

Auld I am SO freaking bored of my hair falling out everywhere you wouldn't believe. I have a lot of hair per square inch so I can handle the loss but I feel for those with fine hair!

Boff well duh! Of course you've fed him too much and he HAS to have the right amount even if he doesn't want it. Men are so goal oriented! It is of course all your fault!

GoingToFeedSamTiggaxx

Yes, I noticed the French book in the background, next to all the That's Not My... ones. When I was MNing earlier & had George in front of Dora, I was kidding myself that it was educational & he'll be fluent in Spanish before he can even form words

& Bicnod, save your being impressed for when I'm actually managing it. At the moment I think I may end up running out of the lecture theatre in floods of tears because I don't remember which way up to open a book.

Nice to have you back, Springy. Wish my students were as enthusiastic as you. Do say hello to BB from us.

I too have lots of hair, Tigga, so baldness doesn't threaten but I am fed up with clearing it out of plugholes/off the floor and unwinding it from A's fingers.

Boff, my commiserations on your Anglo-German, imperial/metric milk problem. I hope you are "making" milk double quick this evening.

Bicnod, go with the dummy. I had anti-dummy principles when DS1 was born, but decided for A that I couldn't cope with a baby wanting to suck non-stop along with everything else. Alex has one, but only to fall asleep, and it works well. Motherhood is tough enough without refusing little aids here and there, I reckon. If your DH is against dummies, maybe he can provide a nipple for O to suck when he wants?

The merry-go-round has arrived!! One of the reasons DS1 was pleased to move to our new house was that it is slap bang beside the pitch where the merry-go-round sets up several times a year. I think these are more common in France than the UK nowadays. And here they have a pom-pom that you have to try and catch to win a free ride. (Maybe this exists in Britain, too. I had strict parents and my experience of such things is limited to a vague memory of some dodgy ride at Portobello fairground in about 1978). The lady in charge has a soft spot for DS1 and swings the pom-pom just in front of him, to the outrage of the other kids. I foresee a tricky couple of weeks, as our living room looks directly on to the merry-go-round.

Puzzle I've been trying to find a latin tutor. You're not the only nut.
Seems mad not to teach them when its easiest

A Latin tutor for Izy?

Now that would be pushy parent. For ds1 aged 6 and maybe ds2 (nearly 5)

Latin makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I wish I had taken it at GCSE. We only had to do 1 year of it at school.

Grumio, Metella and the gang. Good times.

I didn't get to learn it at all as I wasn't top set English. Seems mad logic to me.

I loved Latin.
Did it up to Higher, there were 2 of us in the Higher Latin class.
Sextus cadet in piscinam. Dead handy for your hols.

I have a latin phrase tattooed across my stomach.

Well not a phrase actually. Just something which has meaning to me.

Auld, most of your students aren't probably going slowly insane being cooped up with one other adult & a baby all the time

The merry-go-round sounds great, although I can see that you may have a tough time on your hands keeping DS1 indoors!

I've never done any Latin. Seemed a bit pointless to me