May 2005 babies

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thought I'd start this up - apologies if anyone already has - for everyone from the dyue May 05 thread to graduate to.

profiles:

me: 31, SW London
baby: Murray (ds2) born 8/5/5 7lb 11oz
family: dp & ds1 (2 1/4)

Holly290505 congratulations on the birth, hope all is going well now. Also congratulations to anyone who has had baby & I have not yet mentioned ! Like everyone else getting on here at the moment is hard work and I have struggled to find 5 mins to pop in now !!
Well initially we wre bf dd and topping her up at her last night feed and all seemed ok, then last week was a nightmare and she always seemed so hungry and wasn't content after a few feeds. Also the hv weighed her and she is now 8lb 12oz but is not yet at her birth weight...after speaking to the bf helpline the advised me that at 3 weeks she should be at this birth weight . There was me thinking i'm a bad mother and worrying that i'm causing her problems so dh & I decided to alternate her feeds with breast milk & formula. Also we were out one night at the weekend so I xpressed and gave it also by bottle. Things touch wood seem to be working well and I am expressing each time she has a bottle of formula just to keep my milk coming in......This is then frozen for when we may need it !!! LOL it's like being on the farm at ours MOOOOOOOO....!
18MUMTOB, in answer to your question, we give dd 4oz of formula each feed (at the moment it varies between 2,3,4 hrly)and if I give her xpressed milk the amount varies from 4oz to 6oz. Ideally she should be getting 4oz each feed but as I have been advised & found out sometimes this doesn't satisfy her !! You sound as though you are doing well though so keep it up. Oh yeah re: Dummies, if they work then use them!! We are using a dummy and dd is the same in that it seems to settle her. We also use our little fingers and in fact this was suggested to us by our paeditritian (?) so it can't be that much of a sin

DH & I are still finding the early feeds and late nights & lack of sleep a major problem and this in turn causes us stress which leads sadly to arguments............We are so in love with dd but at times we don't know what to do for her for the best esp at 3am. Is anyone else finding things tough going esp with dp or dh??

Just to clarify with the feeds..we aren't mixing breast milk with formula with each feed as it may seem, one feed is formula the next is breast milk, then formula then breast and so on.

Shhh I'm not finding it hard going with dh, but I am finding it hard not to bite my mother's head off.

18mumtobe we gave in to the dummy really quickly. dd is 2 weeks old now and we have been using dummy from about 7 days old to help her settle. dh also lets her suck on his little finger but my nails keep growing too quickly and I never seem to get time to trim them...

I was struggling to keep dd fed with just bf. By the end of the day she has sucked me dry. So we have settled into a pattern of bf all day, but give her approx 80ml formula feed at the 3am slot. dh gives this by bottle (cos I wanted to avoid nipple - teat confusion). And after about a week of this routine we can now feed, nappy change and re-settle her at 3am within half an hour and then she will sleep thro to 7am. By 7 my boobs have re-filled and I can resume bf

Has anyone else found that their little one loves bathing with them? dd just loves a bath with mummy before bedtime. Its become a very special bonding time for us.

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Dummies are a godsend. started it as soon as I left hospital. have to admit ds1 (21months) still has his and loves it.

Started formular this evening for late feed as need to see if it helps. Currently feeds 2 hours from midnight and its killing me. Especially as he sometimes has only just gone back to sleep before its time to feed again! As long as he is permanently fed he is happy though its just me thats struggling.

DH v helpful with ds1 but less so with ds2. infact its like 2 single parent families here. Anyone else found this? ds1 just wants his daddy and not me at all which is quite upsetting. Thats another reason to introduce bottles as at the moment hemust just associate me with feeding the baby as permanently attached to my breasts!

Sorry for spelling and grammar. Brain failure has set in with lack of sleep!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the messages. Everything OK here - stitches till a bit sore though (as in feel like I've been kicked by a horse...!) Ruby is absolutely gorgeous and very good (so far!) She did decide once my milk came in that I was a human dummy but we've relented and started using a real dummy every now and again to give my nipples a rest. C'est la vie I guess.
Am hoping to get some sort of routine going soon but for now its as and when. Am having NO luck expressing whatsoever - i have an Avent hand pump but it just doesn;t seem to get a single drop out. Don;t know what I'm doing wrong.
Anyway best go stare at my perfect baby
love to all x

thanx everyone i don't feel like a bad mum now.

i had abit of a bad day yesterday with ds, as after every other feed he would not settle and just cried continously until the next one, and then by that time he was in such a state he couldn't feed properly but finally would and then would just wipe out and sleep for 4 hrs (which i a good thing)

last night seemed better and he settled after both feeds and slept till the next, so i actually managed to get some rest too.

im still feeling abit emotional too myermum, especially when he cries, it makes me wanna, as feel so helpless, i think he may be suffering abit from colic and i hate knowing hes in pain and can't help him. so hope this will get better in time coz seeing him cry breaks my heart (is that sad or normal for just a week after birth)

im doing ok with my dp at the moment shhhh, but its still early days. maybe the tiredness hasn't set in properly yet. we don't seem to be arguing really (well only about my mother interfering and being possesive, but she can't help it she's just trying to help, and most of the time her advise is a great help, but he's just worried she'll take over as we're both still young)

i do get abit annoyed with him when he don't seem interested in ds, he never wants to feed him or bath him unless i ask him too. is this just how men are or should i be making him do more? i have started getting him to do the early morning feed which he seems ok with, but i then have to get up to change and settle him. should i be more pushy or just let him come round himself?

well everyone take care, gotta go as ds is crying xxx

I really miss spending time with just dh too. It seems like years since we had time for each other. I think we are too tired to argue though.

Totally agree myermay, I want my body back! Only managed a shower this morning with ds banging on the door and whining and dd screaming in her pram.

Myermay - mother is only trying to be helpful and supportive but the constant repeat of stories of how awful my brother and I were as babies is driving me crazy. And every time baby cries its - 'oh she's got wind, give her to me'. She does have some but not as bad as 10 days ago, and most of the time she is crying because she either a. wants to feed or b. use me as a human dummy

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We are going out for a meal for our wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks which I'm very much looking forward to. No idea what I will be able to wear though!

RE:pill. Cow! We are pretty desperate too but I'm terrified of ever letting him near my stitches again! I think it depends on the type of pill. I remember last time that I started taking the mini-pill at 4 weeks because it took a week to work. I think that the full pill takes longer..? I am considering some long term contraception (no more kids for us either). Does anyone have any experience of the injection or implant?

Actually, something you said, about cherishing the baby has really made me feel very guilty, myermay. I am feeling quite low at the moment and I just feel that I'm caring for dd but not enjoying her. Surviving but not bonding all that well. It's partly because she was and still is causing me a huge amount of pain and I resent that tbh. I want me back. I feel guilty too because I have been shouting at ds for the last couple of days over trivial things and he has cried and it's awful and it's just because I am tired Is anyone else feeling like this?

I'm missing MN, only manage to have a catch up but not getting round to posting anything at the moment!! So whilst I've got a minute...

DP went back to work today so it's been our 1st day together. It's been fine but it takes until at least midday for us to be ready for anything. Felt really guilty earlier as DS was sleeping so I went out to hang up the washing and when I came back in he was screaming his head off had to try not to cry myself.

DP and I have been snapping at each other due to my sleep deprevation! He keeps telling me to have naps and I know i should but there always seems to be something else to do.

Been having urges for s*x too but far too scared to do anything about it yet

Abow - I managed to file my nails last night, they were so long I was worried I was gonna gouge ds's eyes out and certainly couldn't stick my finger in his mouth to get him off my nipple. Maybe one day I'll get round to doing the bikini line although I still haven't looked down there since the birth. Also how do you do the bath with baby. Do you wash first, etc?!

logic - I do feel like that at times too and I don't want him to sense it so I try to sing and talk to him when I'm feeding or stroke his head. When I'm wide awake I couldn't be happier though.

That's brilliant myermay, DP and I have only managed a walk to our local shops so far. I'm solely bf at the moment though so once I do express then I won't be so scared.

Sorry for the mammoth post but i don't know when I'll get another chance

Hope everyone is well

hi

dose anyone know why babies can't have gripe water till their a month old. ds is suffering quite bad with it and feel really hopeless as can't help with the pain. i am giving him infacol but it dosen't seem to be helping enough.

is anyone else's baby suffering with this or colic, what have you been doing to help it, any suggestions welcome as im getting desperate for him to settle during feeds and at the moment he just cries, and when he does doze off the tummy spazms wake him again.

i have also started giving him more at each feed because he seems to want it, but know im just worried he's gonna start feeding every two hours instead of 4 as i was enjoying the break in between but i surpose i just have to go with what he wants.

take care xxx

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Logic - don't feel bad. You are bonding with dd, you're just too tired to notice. And ds...its tough love but he has to get used to a new world order and he'll still adore you even if you snap at him occasionally.

Fashill - I don't make the bath too deep, and place babe either on my chest or bend my knees up and prop her on my thighs. I don't really get to have a proper bath, at the most wash my hair, but I spend so much time playing with dd and watching her stretch and splash her arms and legs that the bath is starting to get cold by the time I think of washing my hair anyway.

Are you guys taking vitamins at all? I started taking them last week because I felt my diet probably wasn't as good as it was when pregnant. And I started on iron tablets too because I was anaemic again. Don't know which it was but do feel better as a consequence.

And I moaned about dm yesterday but she's been great yesterday and today taking dd off me so I can brush teeth, eat, drink, shower.. you know. And myself, dh, dm, and df all went out for a pub dinner last night. It was all a bit spur of the moment and quite comical really. I b/f in the pub and don't think anyone even noticed. And it was obviously very interesting because dd wouldn't sleep so we played pass the baby and took it in turns shovelling food down our throats. It wasn't anything special and we certainly were not very elegant but it did make make me and dh feel as though we could start to resume some semblance of a normal life after all.

18mumtobe - I remember dd2 having colic and it is truly heart wrenching. This time I have put dd3 on a Gina Ford timetable, and it seems to work ... apparently when you give your baby a regular routine it reduces the colicy moments ( they all have an unsettled period in the evening anyway) but I would not feed more than you should for his age/weight as both books I have (Gina Ford and Tracy Hogg,) say that the more you feed, the worse it gets. Just remember all babies cry ... its their way of communicating, and it gets better once they are 3 month old.

Logic, dont worry about bonding ... I had a hard time bonding with dd2, as she was born just 15 month after dd1 and very demanding, ie always crying ... but we love each other very much now, and it all got better after 3 month, if I remember correctly...

Otherwise life seems to be getting better for me. Clara is sleeping more, feeding more quickly, and last night I didnt even have to give a top-up bottle but I must admit I still feel too tired to make an effort, shaving legs or filing nails ... if I can have my shower without baby crying(I now take her into the bathroom with me, while I have a shower, and she seems to be quite happy about that) that is good enough for me ... so I cant say I'm feeling very sexy

Oh, I can see that there is stuff on here that I really need to read - in-laws are staying at the mo, and they are driving me mad! I feel guilty escaping to MN, and we are frantically busy cos have baby naming party on Saturday. But I so need to off load. Aaaaaagghhhh!

Wow I can't believe how much time some of you are getting to come on here!! I barely have time to brush my teeth let alone log on - by the time I have caught up on whats happening I get kicked off the pc by either DH or DS1 - so now that I have a mo thought I would post!!

Congratulations to all that have given birth since I last posted - it's finally all over and the hard work and worry begins! (Well worth it though!)

Well I got really p*ed off this morning. It's really hard to admit, but I don't really have many friends and I'm not that good a mixer with people because i don't feel as though i have much worth talking about besides the kids, but I am SO sick of being in the house I decided that, as a fortnightly breastfeeding group was on this morning I would go along with both DS's, however DS1 was acting up and twisting on so much that I decided not to bother going and did the housework instead If it wasn't for taking DS1 to nursery everyday i would probably not see another adult except for DH.

On a lighter note, Bailey is doing very well, still exclusively breastfeeding although I feel raw at the end of the day! Think I might try expressing then DH & DS1 can get involved aswell. DH joked about putting him onto formula as by the time I stop bf'ing I'll have no boobs left! He still feeds regularly although he hasn't settled into a pattern - has anyone else who's breastfeeding implemented a routine and if so how difficult was it?

Well I'm being booted off the pc by my 4 year old computer wizzkid so i'll go, love to all mums, toddlers and babies!

Oh and almost forgot, Bailey isn't the newest arrival in our house anymore, our chinchillas - who have been together for 4 years - had a little one on Sunday - so cute and fluffy!!

hi myermay, I'm glad it's not just me. It's not the stitches, something else pg related. I'm too embarrassed to go to the GP though too. I totally empathise! Hope your ds2 is better soon though. I think it's a 2nd child thing. Ds never got an eye infection and dd has had it twice already! I suspect the grubby fingers of her big brother are to blame...

18mumtobe, about the gripe water, it's a total rip off anyway. You can only get big bottles and it has to be used within 2 weeks because they don't put alcohol in it any more. Infacol does seem to be helping for us though. IKWYM about the crying. Dd has totally done my head in today. She has screamed all day.

I don't get out much either Maddison. It's too much hassle with two kids. Took ds to visit the pre-school that he'll be starting in Sept today. I'm hoping that it will give me a break.

Impressed by anyone who has a routine going yet Not got much time to post either but congratulations to all those who have babies since last posted.

Got over teh vile mastitis last week only to wake up this morning with a very tender breast again. Am seeing a bf counsellor tomorrow so hoping that sorts me out - really thought I was doing ok but...

logic - re bonding. Agree with whoever wrote that you are even if it doesn't feel like it. Think this period is hard, mine just wants to be held all teh time which is quite tiring and trying. Wish I could crack that one.

hi everyone

ds is sleeping so thought id grab the chance to post on mn.

im still doing not to bad i think, ive been using infacol before every feed and it seems to be helping abit. he is easier to settle now and is keeping more of his feeds down. he likes to be held alot and falls asleep on me most of the time but he is staring to be able to fall asleep on his own and in the mornings if he wakes up before his feed time, he just lays their making little noises and even sometimes goes back to sleep. which is so good it seems to good to be true, its still early days though so im sure he'll turn into the little monster he is soon. but lets hope not.

i can't believe how good he is at night. i think coz he's awake during the day because of his wind and dosen't really get good naps when its comes to the night he's so exhausted he manages to sleep through the pain.

im kinda in a routine, but it changes alot. first he started of on a 10, 2, 6 routine but sometimes it changes to 8, 12, 4 and sometimes 9, 1, 5 so its still abit unpridicable but he usually goes 4 hrs between feeds. which is good coz at least i can manage to gets some things done. im expressing for every feed and he is having about 120mls each time which seems to keep him going fine until the next one.

we took him to have his photo's done yesterday, and we planned to only get our 1 free photo but they were so cute that we ended up spending over £80. but i think he's worth it.

im going on a hen night 2moro, and its gonna be the first time ive been away from him, daddy is baby sitting but im still nervous about going. i think ill enjoy the break but ill also miss him. has anyone else been out without them yet? i know he'll be fine but can't help worrying abit. as he only seems to really settle properly with me and he likes to suck my finger to sleep and won't take no one else's or a dummy properly any more. but im sure im just worrying about nothing, coz ill know he'll be fine.

dp seems to be getting more confident with him now, he does a night feed. he's still abit nervous and passes him back whne he's crying and he can't settle him. but i think he's getting better and in time he'll learn how to settle him too.

take care everyone and love to all babies xxx

Hi everyone, now have a home computer on the internet so hoping to post more - when Megan will let me. Haven't read all the posts yet.
She's now 5 weeks old, but still no real feeding routine. She'll go 4 hours at night 9/10 - 1/2 - 5/6, but often less during the day - she'll somtimes be up for an hour at night - she gets alot of hiccups, and needs holding then, but settles ver quickly. not trying a 7-7 routine until she's older. I breastfed for a week, but then had alot of trouble, very painful bleeding nipples (tried the cream and shield and dosed up on paracetamol), think I had a bit of the baby blues and my grandma died when Megan was 3 days old so I was in floods of tears when I fed her, she was also a bit agitated, I think she picked up on this, and DP and other family said I should stop, beat myself up about it alot and still wish I'd been able to, but felt beter quickly and she's taken to bottles well. She gets wind during the day too, but usualy only for 10-15 mins 3-4 times a day, so she's having a bit of gripewater. She's still little, 8lb 3 and wearing newborn clothes now, just grown out of her tiny clothes! She smiled at me for the first time yesterday which was brilliant. She also likes to be held alot, but does enjoy a good kick on her baby gym, and is starting to enjoy baths too.
18mumtobe (you'll have to change your name!) I've left Megan for an hour as I had to take my dog to the vets, and she was fine and her gran loved having her, I'm sure yours will be fine too.
Hope everyone else is doing ok too, it tiring but I'm really enjoying being a mum.