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March 09 - there is no snooze button on a baby that needs milk.....!

991 replies

meep · 10/06/2009 12:47

over here ladies

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
corgikelly · 24/08/2009 13:36

Hi ladies ? where does the time go?

This is my last week of maternity leave. I am so unready to go back to work and leave R at nursery that I could just weep.

Am steadily plowing my way through Ferber?s ?Solve Your Child?s Sleep Problems? and am impressed by the wealth of information it contains on sleep cycles/phases/etc. for newborns through teenagers.

Mdavza, I wouldn?t characterize his approach as ?let ?em cry for hours? (or I wouldn?t be able to try it!). He says that by 5 to 6 months, healthy full-term babies are capable of falling asleep on their own (and equally as important, to fall BACK asleep automatically when they waken during the night), and his program is designed to help remove the unhelpful associations some children need for sleeping (being rocked/walked for ages, nursing to sleep ? though that?s not a big deal at bedtime IF it doesn?t affect their night wakings) by putting the child down still awake after their bedtime routine, and letting them work out for themselves how to sleep. The parents return at slowly increasing intervals (starting with 3 minutes and increasing to 10 minutes for the first three nights, and never more than 20 minutes if it takes more nights than that) to reassure the baby that they?re still here, but NOT to pick them up and comfort them to sleep. Ferber goes into a lot of detail about working gradually on both nap and night habits to maximise the baby?s sleep potential?I?ve spent my time reading and thwacking myself on the head for having let Rhys develop a lot of rotten habits. Ah well, it will all come right in the end (surely before he?s old enough to vote, right?).

We?ll be working this week on stretching out the time between night feeds, to get him down to one feed only, as Ferber recommends, and then will embark on the interval-crying process. We?ll see how nursery also affects his willingness/need to sleep more/earlier?really at the end of our ropes, as he?s still waking up 5 to 6 times between an hour?s battle to get him to bed at 10 and when he wakes up at 7.

Interesting to hear all the takes on sterilising. In Belgium, paeds kind of shrug their shoulders and say do as you like, so we?ve not done anything, really (except a good hard boil of bottles, teats, etc., when they first come out of their packaging. No problems so far. Here, most people also use bottled water rather than tap.

Also appreciating all the weaning stories ? Rhys is making a dive for things on our plates and anything in a glass, so he?ll be well ready in another month when he?s finally 6 months old! Meep, I like the ?food for fun until they?re one? mantra ? and am really looking forward to seeing how he reacts to all the new tastes!

Good job on the bottle battle, boobz. Rhys doesn?t seem to mind his formula now, but I can?t get him to take more than about 100 mls at any one feed ? so we?re still on about 8 feeds (bottle or breast) per day!

Slick, glad to hear all was okay with your friend. What a scare.

Laumiere, Rhys is of Gabe being able to sit up ? he dreams of being able to do that! It must change their lives immensely?

Jolly, have you decided what to do about your job?

Wheely, well done with the running! I?m still not able to do much with my back (which gave me some scary twinges last night after seeming to be on the mend, so I?m back to letting my mum and DP do all the baby lifting ) but am dying to get back to exercising.

Grinning, the EBM in a bottle wasn?t a roaring success (i.e., we still ended up needing to pick him up ? plus feeding him on his back led to some horrendous trapped wind and concomitant screeching).

Right. Off to play peekaboo.

Slickbird · 24/08/2009 14:18

Hi Corigi Yes, he should def have it sorted by the time he's able to vote!

Just shows you doesn't it about the sterilising? Oh well, I guess we all have to do what we feel comfortable about. I am def stopping soon tho.

Wheely Yes, sorry I should have clarified - the number 5 on the bottom means it HAS got the parabens in it. I just wish they would make this info more wide-spread, but then at the same time, there's enough dos and don'ts out there to make us all into highly-strung anxious freaks! Or is that just me...

Re: 5 mins of fame - as long as that??

Slickbird · 24/08/2009 14:21

corgi Corigi?? Honestly, what is the matter with me?! Spelling is getting worse!

Meant to say, so sorry you are having to go back to work. I really feel for you. I'd be gutted too. (Well, in fact, I was last year - had to go back after DD2 at 6 months because I had no choice. No tho with two wee ones, there really is no point as can't afford child care)Wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. In the USA they only get 3 months! I think that's awful. Are you going back part time? Can you?

3cutedarlings · 24/08/2009 14:37

Hi Gals sorry i have not kept up just been so busy with school hols ect ect. Prior to that DD1 has been having a really hard time at school its taken me the first 4 weeks of the holidays to finally bring her back to normality (well her normal lol) but she finally got her spark back so i can breath a sign of relief for now.

Well where are we at??!! well Alex is now on 3 meals a day and still breast feeds like a pro!. We started weaning at 18 weeks!! i caved in at the 4mths growths spurt, twas hell!!

oh and we have TEETH!! 2 of them !!, which he cut at 21 weeks the girls were both 10mths old before they cut teeth!

We have a lovely holiday in Ibiza (early July) Alex was an a total star!! and actually slept through the night for the whole 10 days!! however the little bugger soon returned to normal once we returned home . He still needs 2 feeds through the night (although one is a dream feed at 10pm) most nights, but he will occasionally sleep through.........YAY!!

Well i have so much to catch up on here that it may well take me til the girls are back at school to do so hope you and all your LOs are all well xxx

EllieorOllie · 24/08/2009 15:06

Hi all

Have just been trying to catch up on everyone's news. It's so interesting to hear how all our babies have these little quirks that make them so individual!

My DH is now back in the family home, and, for now at least, things are a lot better. We went on holiday last week and had a really lovely time, except for DD's meltdowns. Big G was a cherub as ususal - he's no trouble, except for his exploding nappies!

We are starting weaning (5 months) and G's initial reactions have been very positive. He loathes baby rice, but loves apple puree, carrot puree and parsnip puree. And custard (ahem). Still breastfeeding but am combining 50/50 with bottle feeding as I am back at work on the 1st of September. Corgi, i'm totally with you there. Going back to work as pretty much the last thing on earth I want to do .

No teeth yet, but lots of dribbling and gum-rubbing. We shall see if anything emerges!

Am now panicking about parabens in bottles, having pretty much turned a blinded eye to the news articles about it. Gah...

x

lizziemun · 24/08/2009 16:33

EllieorOllie

Glad things are sorted/better with your dh.

I've not realy started with weaning as yet, as DS doesn't seem to have a much head controls as dd's did at this age, so i going to leave it another month.

I've been up the loft today and got out the donut out so he can sit up. DD1 insisted i phoned nanny to ask permission to go up ther loft as daddy's back at work today after 2 wks holiday thank god. I then i had to phone her back once i was back down from the loft. Anyone would think i accident prone .

Anyway that's it for now must go and start dd's dinner before they start eating the furniture.

Slickbird · 24/08/2009 18:43

Lizzie That's hillarious! Have you seen Michael MacIntyre's sketch about woman not being allowed up in a loft lest they come to some serious harm. Is v. funny and this just reminds me of it.

Ellie Glad you and DH are giving it another try - it all makes the difference if you can work it out. I really wish you both the best.

As for these bloomin' parabens I was angry when I first heard as I am on my third and I had boiled sterilised with my first two. As I started to do it again, that's when my parents pointed it out. But I guess all things in moderation it won't do any harm, but there are so many things these days it seems to be the accumulative effect that's more of the problem, but the way I see it, maybe I (and you, if you feel) can balance it out in another way. As I sauid before, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

3Cute!!! I was wondering if you were ever going to come back to us, I nearly asked for you the other day but wasn't sure if you hadn't deserted us altogether! Nice to have you back. Even if it does remain intermittant!

Glad things are going well for you,but hope you're little one that's at school is ok.

Well, Dh is back tonight. How glad am I??

laumiere · 24/08/2009 19:06

corgi Gabe can't sit up completely unaided, but he can stay there if we prop him up :-)

Eeek ladies! Got my interview for the new job on 2nd Sept (day before we fly). Thanks to be being on mat leave I only have to meet minimum criteria, but still pretty nervous!

kanga5 · 24/08/2009 19:30

hello everyone

mdavza, i recognise the urgency you feel. i was 32 when ds1 came along after i gently suggested i was getting on a bit and if DH wants more than one, we'd better start. well here i am, 41, with 5 of them!!! i have to say, all the baby stuff is down to me, he really clicks with them once they are about 2 years old. walking and talking as lizzie says. so that was a suitable age gap for us.

slick, i agree that it is not good to let young babies cry excessively. i did read ferber and used the methods described, but now i am a big softie and can heardly bear to let them even wimper. i co-slept with dd1 for 2 years, mainly because i was scared after her illness, but now she goes by herself in a cot and rarely wakes at night.

i liked books for confidence building with the first child but now i am winging it too. i think that when both mum and baby are ready you can sort it out. i still refer to books for reminders though as my brain is a bit sloshy.

and yes slick, i've had PIB as well, but only with other dc in there as well. sorry to hear you are so exhausted, i can completly see the picture at the shops you described. that is why i love internet shopping...M & S are great for school stuff/home delivery, and saves the anguish of not finding the sizes after all the effort of getting to the shops.

poor jaz, up all night too. i also hope that baby rice will see our LO sleeping better too. hope your LO is getting over the jabs now. it is a relief to get the 4 mth ones done.

poor corgi, not much i can say about your return to work. i did it with ds2, at 5 months and i was not happy. he was fine, but eventually i felt i was missing him too much and stopped work when he was 10 months! i was also pregnant again and suffering MS too. i know that doesn't help you but i know how you feel.

hi 3cute, long time no hear, but understand the busy-ness and priorities.

back in a mo

kanga5 · 24/08/2009 19:46

anyway:

ellie i hope things turn out well for you, good luck.

laumiere good luck for your interview on the 2nd.

and in the kanga household, phew it is exhausting in the hols...the boys are resuming a week of learn to swim lessons, which means early starts.

and picture this: yesterday, coming back from a weekend away in dorset, LO is screaming in her car seat, we are on M3 getting on to M25, here is me, in back seat too, desperately trying to sing songs, read books, laugh, resorting to mixing up some baby rice with what ever container i could find. that went down quick, then i tried making some gaviscon for her, then had to resort to leaning over her to give BF. a cop car passed by at one point, don't know what they made of mad mum contorting herself at weird angle, but thankfully had better things to chase than us!...anyway she seemed content then and stayed awake as happy as anything. so much for sterilising everything.

xx

jollyjoanne · 24/08/2009 19:51

Bloomin 'puter it keeps crashing every time I post. Will try again tomorrow, baby sounds like she is stirring.

lizziemun · 24/08/2009 21:19

Slickbird

Yes i have. DH is convinced it about me. There is a long list of things i'm banned from doing/buying due to my incompetence .

My mum is always surprised i've managed to get to nearly 40 without either killing myself or doing myself serious injury .

Slickbird · 24/08/2009 21:42

lizzie Lol. That's so funny. No wonder he wanted you to call!

Kanga Do you know, I was just thinking today I need to internet shop more as sometimes it really is just too hard.

PMSL at the image of you leaning over with your boob to feed in the back seat.

I agree too what you are saying about the crying. I know there are extremes and I wasn't meaning that you (one) should go running at the slightest whimper and I also think that if you know they have been burped/not hungry/clean nappy/not teething that you (one) should try and leave them to learn to self-soothe. I just don't agree with four hour feeds no matter what - even if the baby is starving hungry (wouldn't have worked with any of mine as all ganets) - and leaving them to cry for hours. Just makes me feel so upset. Anyhoo, I'm not saying that's what you were saying I'm just extending on what i said in the first place!

Am so glad to see everyone appearing. It was getting so boring with just me around.

DH back in an hour and a half. Can't wait. Am so broken. DD2 screamed the house down for an hour and a half at bed time and DD1 was being a nightmare. The only one who's not given me any grief is Happy Hungry Boab! Bless 'im!

laumiere · 24/08/2009 22:04

slick God it's tiring when more than one kicks off isn't it? This pm I had DS1 howling in the garden (because Nasty Mummy wouldn't let him squeeze through the fence into next door's garden), and Gabe howling in the living room because Mummy was out of his sight line for a whole 30 seconds..... and me standing there in the middle going to my calm blue place....

Looks like Gabe's hitting separation anxiety already, joy! He also recognises his name, Mummy and Boobies

meep · 25/08/2009 07:37

lau I'll need to remember your "calm blue place" when all hell breaks loose in the meep household - sounds lovely!

slick with dd1 I was a slave to the 4 hour feeds. It made mine, dd1 and dh's lives a misery. I had no clue what I was doing and thought that the books would be right !

Rosie has just settled into 4 hour feeds herself. I have always fed her on demand and still do - though she doesn't "ask" for food so much because I like to make sure she is fed at least every 4 hours! So totally different and much more chilled. You live and learn!

Have to say that I couldn't do much CC with dd1 - I hated to hear her cry. We did a bit to settle her at 7pm - but it was more: put her down, "wahhh", pick her up, put her down "wahhhh", pick her up !

Rosie has had to cry - I don't like it, but there are times when I have to leave her where she is safe so I can deal with the toddler. But she has never been a baby thyat cries a lot - even in teh morning I just get woken by her staring at me through the cot bars and giving little shouts. This morning she started at 5.30am so I held her hand and she went back to sleep (then dd1 woke up but that's a whole other story!)

I think all this early waking is because it is hot upstairs when they go to bed so they are in 1tog grobags - but by morning the temp has really gone down so they are a wee bit cold!

Aaaagh - both dd's sqawking now - need to go - will post more later!

OP posts:
grinningbee · 25/08/2009 11:00

Hi all!

A had her 4 month jabs yesterday Didn't go down very well - she pooed herself when she was jabbed. She had a right grotty day so we gave her plenty of calpol, but she had a huge crying fit in the evening and just wouldn't be soothed. Horrid.

She keeps biting me when feeding too, and I can tell you it really hurts! Stingy sore nipples with teeth marks in are no fun, and it makes me a bit scared to put them back in her mouth!

Right.

Got to try and find the energy to make a cuppa, wash my hair and make the pork burgers for tea tonight and A is shrieking...

Starshinetiger · 25/08/2009 15:32

So rarely getting the time to look on here at the mo. Just about caught up. Again sympathies with those with sleep issues. Is always fatal last words when I say I feel like I'm getting somewhere with DD, as it always then goes pear-shaped. Mostly getting her to settle by around 7.30ish of an evening unless I've let her sleep too late in the day - seems latest to sleep is 4.30pm if she's going to go down okay, but she also can't be awake too long before bedtime, which when I'm juggling two for bed can be a challenge!! Have found the "No cry sleep solution" helpful, but it's by no means a quick fix - but I'm a softie and can't just let her cry. In last 3 weeks she has learnt to go to sleep in my arms rather than just by feeding and in last two days has fallen asleep just sitting there (in my arms, rather than being rocked), so feel like we're moving in the right direction. Still waking every 3-4 hours in the night and up by about 6ish each morning, but is better than last week when she would just be awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night wanting to play

Am about to start weaning her at 23 weeks, as she is getting hungry quicker between feeds now, sitting up and generally paying loads of attention to what we're eating - will see how it goes.

I'm like you Meep - avidly read the books 1st time round and am convinced that my trying to foist a routine on DS sent my bfing pear-shaped, so have just gone with the flow with DD and while she may have some bad habits (e.g. feeding/rocking to sleep), I can live with those for us both feeling more contented - i know the books work really well for some and I have found them helpful for some info, but sticking to them to the letter is not for us. My good community nurse at HV's suggested that I just find a book which most closely (but won't completely) matches with my aspirational parenting style and then go with any advice from that.

In awe of Kanga here too (and generally of all with 2 or more - I have only found in last few weeks have managed to really feel I'm coping with 2). Having said that I'm actually broody with DD still not yet 6 months and with her complications, it's unlikely we'll have another (is greater chance of another child having same complication and it's much more devastating in boys than girls), so is pie in the sky, but in those early weeks with DD, never thought I would actually get broody

Kanga - Lol at your bfing with LO in car seat - Brilliant!!

Corgi - at your return to work coming round so soon. I went back when DS was 7 months old and it was hard, but he did seem to enjoy his time with the other children, so that made it easier after a bit. Hope it goes okay for you. Sounds like you're making great progress at getting ready for it with bottles, etc.

Have forgotten everything else I read, but will try to keep up.

mdavza · 25/08/2009 19:38

kanga5 Had a big chuckle at your car antics, trying to picture the scene! And I CANNOT believe that you are 41! Woah! You look way younger, and this with 5 kids, amazing. What's your secret? I believe my dh and I will eventually sort out the next child-or-not-and-then-when-dilemma, for the moment I've decided not to be too hung up, it's still early days and it's more important to enjoy lB. A women at my school has just found out she is pregnant - she is 55!!!! Don't know whether to laugh hysterically or weep...

To all you wise mums out there, as I'm getting along I'm also not so hung-up about the books and other advice. What I quickly discovered is that every person has their own 'experts' who 'prove' that their methods work blah-die-blah. And I felt a bit stuck in the middle, not knowing whether to turn left, right or just lie on the ground and screech (No calm blue place here, laum) And I actually agree with everything you've said, slick and also the ferber thing, corgi. It just shows how things can be taken out of proportion. And I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have a baby who has had no sleeping problems (touch wood, touch wood, ye gods of slumber...) Good luck with that! All I know is that babies adapt eventyually to whatever you try to teach them.

Speaking of which, Ben has discovered his penis...and scrotum (I can think of a millions other words for these...)
Every night before his bath he gets some nappy free time which he loves, and tonight he was pulling and grabbing wee willy and friends. As he's been grabbing everything else, tbh, but it was quite funny. He grabs himself quite hard,though, and seems not to feel either much pleasure or pain, but it is, er, interesting!

Quite jealous of all the teeth coming out, and sorry about the biting, grinning, that must suck! Here he is just drooling like mad and sometimes has both hands in his mouth, but no tooth yet.
Now off to prepare some pasta for dinner, feel like your pork burgers, grinning

Oh, and Ellie, real glad things are looking up for you and family!

corgikelly · 25/08/2009 21:00

Quick question for the Scots among ye --

A friend in the US has a niece who's going to be attending the Glasgow Art Institute next month, and she'd like to get her a gift without weighing her down -- so she asked if there were any good stores that might do online gift vouchers. That way the niece could pitch up and get whatever she'd like without having to lug it over from the States.

Any recommendations? Thanks in advance...

P.S. DP suggested Marks & Spencer. Not sure that would truly appeal to a girl of 20!

Slickbird · 25/08/2009 21:41

corgi Until Meep he other resident Scot comes along, I always think of something from Monsoon as a wee gift - not esp Scottish, but she could either get her a voucher for there or a wee jewellery wrap from there as they are light, small and very lovely. If the girl wears jewellery it helps! But I don't know if you mean it would have to be something specifically she'd get when she gets here? Sorry if I'm being thick. (Probably)

I am going to try and have an early night tonight as DH got back very late last night and then was back to work today - and my back was right back out again, so I was exhausted with him being away, the time of the month, back in agony, lifting the two monsters and the toddler going into constant meltdown. I lost it so many times today with the eldest I feel like SUCH a bad mum, but I am just so done in and it's only Tuesday! But I guess I've been going non-stop for two weeks without help, so it's no wonder.

I hope I return to only-sometimes-scary- mummy soon.

Missmodular · 25/08/2009 21:58

Mdavza 55!!! My mum is 55 - I can't even imagine her having a new baby now, let alone being preggers! I think you're wise to just enjoy your first for now - one thing about having another one is that it makes you realise how short the baby phase is. I started seriously considering another one once DD1 could walk - it seemed to get a lot easier then. BUT it then got a lot harder when her tantrums and my pregnancy exhaustion kicked in.

M has now discovered how to sleep on her front, and by god, it's made such a difference! Her sleep is much deeper now and she's waking up far less - last night she only woke up once, which is such a change from the usual 2-3 wakings. It may also have something to do with the butternut squash she had for dinner tho - who knows? I don't care so long as it continues...

DD1 starts preschool next week, so my time of having a baby and toddler 24/7 is coming to a close. If I can get M off to sleep at the same time as DD1 being out I might actually get some ME time (well, a girl can dream, can't she?).

meep · 26/08/2009 07:20

quickly popping in to reply to corgi

is a cool clothes/home shop which is quite studenty If she's into makeup then [[http://www.spacenk.co.uk/ SpaceNK is a big treat.

Mango which us ladies travel to Glasgow for!

as slick suggested Monsoon also good - lots of lovely clothes and bags and accessories!

HTH!

OP posts:
meep · 26/08/2009 08:16

aaagghhh - failed on the links!

cool clothes/home shop

spacenk makeup

OP posts:
Slickbird · 26/08/2009 09:47

'until he other'?? Until THE other resident Scot... Honest to God, it's a good job I'm not working at the moment because the mistakes would be constant!! Having said that, I've always said after having kids that I go to work for a 'rest' so I prob wouldn't be so tired anyway!

Miss Interesting how many babies sleep better on their sides/fronts. My cousin's baby wouldn't sleep at all and after about four month's my Auntie had had enough and put her on her front and she immediately started sleeping like, well, a baby. (That sleeps well!) And I found with mine that as soon as they can roll over, they favour sleeping on their front (with their bums up in the air ). And now HHB has started rolling to sleep on his side. Have just propped him with towels either side as I think I should encourage this as we are still trying to sort his flat head at the back.

Anyway, I am jubilant today as DH has taken DD2 to my mum's for the day to give me a break - I had my back put in AGAIN yesterday eve and I just couldn't face another day of lugging the two of them, and also just needed the break. Back to being amused that I consider a day with a 5 month old a break.

Is it raining enough for everyone??

Slickbird · 26/08/2009 09:50

Meant to say, Grinning Hope your wee one is better after her jabs. Poor wee scone. Also been wondering how your friends are? The one that, well, tried to take his life after the wedding? Been wondering how he is?