August 2008 - 8 months and still not sleeping though the night....

[TwilightSurfer]

you'd think after 33 threads we'd have all the answers by now.

HP you think I'm funny...Have you met my dear friend Buckets? She's a riot!!

Punched DH at 4am when Reese was screaming for food. I'd fed at midnight so felt in only fair he take her next. The house didn't start moving again until 8am when I loaded the whole lot up in the truck and drove into town for breakfast (drive-thru). Came back to do more laundry (putting it away this time) and then crashed hard. Not sure if it's the weather or my workout the past two days or if lack of sleep finally caught up with me BUT I SLEPT HARD for about an hour. Still need more sleep but at least I got a little bit.

More beach travel tv for me. Saw a bit about Thailand. OMG!! I AM IN LUV!!! Expectant have you been to Phang Nga? That is the most amazingly beautiful place. I so think everyone should travel there. And just so you'll know I'm getting a lot of my beach travel info from Bridget Marquardt, Hugh Hefner's EX. She's got a really cute spin on travel loging. Buckets you would love her show.

Steaky I'm sending you positive vibes dear. You need them full strength. Isolation is what cause my PND with DD1. Similar to what No1 said, it took me pulling myself up by my bootstraps to get me back to a happy place.

Sazzles it's true MC Avengers was an awesome spot her on MN for me following my MC. I did the whole pulling myself up by my bootstraps bit with there help and got knocked up again purty darn qik. for your friend.

Dizzy I know exactly what you mean about the buzz drop the next day. I've had that several times recently dealing with all my painting...and it's a Low VOC paint. Nice job on the new quote. WTF was that first guy thinking!?! YOU ARE A MNer and WE take no BS!!!

Off to do more work. SAHM gets no real free time at home. :-)

So now they are both asleep thank goodness. I am really worn out and feel guilty yet again.
DD has not had a nap today, she went to sleep after 10 pm last night up at 7 am today. I do not know how she keeps going.
Ds went to sleep same as her last night up all night then up for good at 6.30 and had 2 small naps today.
Could it be the light nights????
sazzles I though that but they only been like this few nights.
cyteen roast does sound yummy and I agree with sazzles you wont be carrying him so much so yeah go for it
I am always broody as you all well know, but not tonight
2 under 2 or is very tezting isnt it??

that should be 2 under 3, and testing not tezting as I have no idea what that is.

X post again. oops glad dd is sleeping again fingers crosssed for better nights alround.
DS had formula tonight and I had to change is pjs twice as he just let it all fall back out and I didnt know (thought he was taking it well at first too) ended up with boob instead.

I feel guilty as i lost it with both of them dont know how i didnt/havnt cried.
I layed on our bed with them both as its easier. He looked ready to sleep after several cloth changes, so told dd i would be right back, just putting Ds to bed, wait there etc....
He wailed as soon as he touched the mattress, she followed then got in her bed, I decided to shut his door and ignore let him self settle, while she had a cuddle on my knee in her room, she looked ready to drop so she got in bed, Ds screams getting worse so left her to check him, she followed again, this went on for an hour with me not knowing who to settle first. So frustrated I yelled at her to get in bloody bed and dumped hima nd shut his door again, cue dh running upstairs and me running down saying I had had enough.
I feel guiltry because they are only babies, they need me and I just couldnt divide myself fairly and I should not have yelled at her. He is always in my arms and I think she just must be so jealous and fed up.
sorry that was very long but the flood gates have opened

Bonsoir. Steaky I hope today went well? And hope the professional help this week is helpful.

Careful Captain, TS will give you a Hard Stare!

Buckets I've had a long look through knitting patterns and can't find anything quite like what you described - which is silly because it sounds lovely. There are loads of rectangular wraps but none with armholes. If that's all it is it would be quite easy to invent though. I'd offer to do it for you but I'm soooo slooooow - you might have it just in time for your yachting holiday! Congratulations on the new job BTW, sounds ideal.

No1 hope your DCs are now sleeping peacefully... (mine's not )

No1 - two under two must be testing. At least with my three, the older ones have some independence. Silly things like DS being able to get into the car, do up his own seatbelt and shut the door while DD1 finds her seat clips cut corners that you wouldn't be able to cut with smaller ones. I often wonder how chacha is getting on with 3 under three.

Whisper it: I went out last night and didn't get home until 5am. Only because the meal to celebrate my youngest sister's 30th was up in Cork and I did a compromise thing of having a few drinks, stopping and then sleeping for a few hours at another sister's house.

I nearly went with a no-drinking, drive home after the meal plan. But on the way there I took heart from Cyteen's successful weekend away and it all paid off. DD2 was great for DH, and slept much better than she does when I'm not here. I woke at 4 and headed away home, but it was really great to catch up with cousins of ours-we spent every school holiday here growing up with them so we are all very close and it is always lovely to get together again.

My sister who had her baby 11 days ago came out for dinner and left her DS2 with expressed bottles (not on his own obviously but with her DH). Prob. best not to have asked for opinions on that in aibu.

Thanks Cyteen for your trailblazing example and plaudits for the excellent chicken.

Buckets - the new job sounds fantastic. You are, as they say in these parts, some woman for one woman.

I read the 'Irish men' strand of yesterday's chat with interest. My all-time top heart throb is the lovely, and currently sorely troubled, Liam Neeson. My DH is a Wiganer though. I have a bit of a thing for men with strong Lancashire accents A friend here came out of a chat with him, v. disoriented by DH's sudden interest in surfing, and decorating his surf board, when in fact he was discussing sofas. The plumber thought DH was tidiness obsessed and too tight to offer a cup of tea until I stepped in to sort out the broom/brew confusion.

I is going on awfully and will stop.

Oh no1 don't feel guilty. I find it so hard to contain my frustration sometimes when Joe won't settle and there's only one of him - a non-ambulatory one of him at that. Honestly I think you do an amazing job, it is so obvious that those kids are the centre of your world and are so well loved. Be kind to yourself, that's an order

Thanks all.
There is always something to feel bad about but it does no good.
Feel much calmer now after the wine cheers cyteen.
should say no to the magnum though as I had a white one earlier, dont normally like white chocolate (apart from white toblerone) but it was nice.

steak I hope you had a better day and things get better soon.

Hi pertelote I am very envious of knitters. I always end up with more or less stitches.

Sibh no thanks needed, twas the good ladies of this very thread and their confidence-building words that helped me to get the hell out escape and enjoy it. Glad you felt you could do the same

'some woman for one woman' - I love that!

oops Joe is mad for faces at the moment too, especially upside down faces, they make him crease up laughing

On the question of accents, certain strong ones do make me all weak at the knees. Certain types of Scottish accent send me all peculiar as do the Southern Irish kind. Strangely all three of my long term relationships have been nice middle class boys from London or surrounding areas

sibh sounds like a lovely and well eraned evening.
I know what you mean about the little things too, I often think it will be better when....but at the same time you dont want to wish their life away as they grow quick enough as it is iykwim.
Me and dh often sit and say when she is old enough to understand this, or that or do this or that it will be better

oooh Scottish, Irish and dont laugh but Geordie. mmmmmmmmmm or it could be just a geordie lad I once knew.

Pertelote I have cleared the broody week and am well on my way. I am so thankful I realize it's hormonal (and that DH kept his distants until it was too late). Didn't even make me flinch when Captain exclaimed her lust for more children. Just thought "THAT'S CRAZY!" and went on reading today's posts.

No1 ((hugs))

Reese just pulled herself up on my chair and is standing here smiling at me.

No1-you are a wonderful mum and if your children see occasionally that your job is tricky there is no great harm in it. I have a rule that if I get cross I go and say sorry as well as giving the kiss and cuddle. DS finds it kind of comforting to know that I find things tricky and make mistakes and that no-one is expected to be perfect here.

Steaky - you have been in my thoughts all weekend. You are working so hard to hold things together at the minute, and working so hard to be fair to DH and Izzy. And that's truly admirable. To do that without support around you is incredibly difficult. When I read about the passports, and your moment on the bench the sense of you struggling to find time to breathe and think clearly was palpable ...

I've written here before about the terrible struggles DH and I had in the year after DS was born. The thing I remember most strongly from that time is the strain of trying to get through one day without bickering. I can still feel what it was like to be crying in the kitchen alone because we'd got to 10 pm and started to bicker after a good day.

There was a specific moment when I consciously set my face back towards DH and make a huge effort to move past the troubles (a bit like walking into a wind that's blowing against you). It took a long time to feel the trust come back properly, and now we are as happy as we were in years before DS and his sisters came along.

Happier really, because we know each other better. The lines I go by are Eavan Boland's: 'Across our day-to-day and ordinary distances / We speak plainly, we hear each other clearly.' I really hope the counselling helps you find that kind of peace ...

You have space to think and our support here every day.

I will have cross-posted with hilarious chat and fab dresses won't I? We will have the much-vaunted rural broadband within weeks though ...

Right I give up trying to catch up - have got as far back as steaky's 'I sat on a bench at 4am' post though. steak I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I remember making the 'come home now, I can't do this anymore' phone call to dh when I just had ds1. He came home (but then went back to work) but it did help. I said I didn't want to hurt ds1 but I wanted to leave him and walk away. I made the same call to my mum who turned up the next day with some clothes for ds1 (don't think the message ever quite gets there with her...) Please go and see a Dr and get help if you need it. I didn't and I should have got ADs and it took a long long time to get myself back again (and really what helped was to go back to work part time when ds1 was 5 1/2 months old). So please don't think others haven't been there as they really really have.

On the broody point - all I can say is lol lol to you all - I am so NOT broody but I will be so happy if anyone who wants to be does get pregnant!

dizzy On the dress for sister's wedding front (if you can remember back to the other day) I was asking more on the do you think I might lose more weight/change shape a bit more or not rather than the 'will it be in the sale' thing (as my mum is paying). Anyway, my mother has wordlessly communicated that she doesn't like the Coast coat dress by pointing me at the £275 lata dress instead. I am not convinced it won't look a bit young on me (or fit) and certainly wouldn't fork that out myself! but have ordered it to try....

sazzles You are very polite about my figure but my stomach is fecked I'm afraid. And you are not a lardy arse either! I actually thought how lovely and summery you looked when I saw you. You had a pretty top and pink cardigan on and looked 'put together' whereas I just had my worn out black bf top on!

Anyway, nothing much else to report except I seem to have got over my brief descent into depression and forgiven dh (who has got his arse in gear and done a lot of stuff round the house). Toby has a bad runny bottom - hoping it is to do with teeth - but is ok in himself.

Still no period here - my body seems to know that conceiving right now would not be a good plan. Unless of course I am a) already pregnant (look out for loud shouts of horror on here if so) or b)going through early menopause (laughs manically at the thought)

Go reese
sibh lovely words to help through tough times.

And no1 It is hard having children close together - very hard imo. But hopefully we will reap the rewards later - if we can just get through the early years. I often repeat the MN mantra 'this too will pass' and 'its just a phase' to myself. Actually for me I've found the sheer workload of three a bit of a shock - am waiting for Toby to be one in the hope that we will magically turn a corner at that stage. I found two close together very challenging - some people seem to think it is easier but for the life of me I've no idea why! A bigger gap this time has definitely proved better for this family anyway. So I'm wittering again and just wanted to say

Am off to bed now - have a lot of sorting out for the NCT sale this week (and dh away for three nights) so may not be on here much but will try to catch up when I can....On the other hand I may be on here all the time

Those are both lovely posts Sibh and PF. Thank goodness for this place. With one DD and a pretty supportive DH I have little to complain about but even so I think this is still such hard work... we all just have to do what we can, and accept whatever help there is.

TS glad to hear it! You are so in touch with yourself (IYKWIM - to tired to think of a better way of putting that), it's great.

CC forgot to say brilliant news on the move - hope the packing is not too hellish.

Hi Dizzy. Hope you're not too high on the varnish tonight (or maybe you do ). Glad you got a decent quote though. Still on for Weds?

Great to hear of your fab weekends sazzles and sibh. It's so nice to feel like an adult sometimes isn't it, with a proper late night. Shame the adolescent lie-in never follows but hey-ho.

Good to hear the DCs are in bed now no1. Hope you're relaxing now. I had a terrible shout at my DDs earlier int he week because I was tired and fed up and felt awful afterwards. I think sazzles' words are brilliant and made me feel much better too.

How are things now steaky? I hope you had a good day. I can't imagine what it must be like being so far from your family and old friends and going through this. I can only echo what others have said though about seeking help and please remember, you haven't had a decent sleep for 8 months. That is some sort of torture and it's not in any way surprising that you're both struggling with the rest of your life. Please carry on coming here. I hope it helps.

TS - forgot to tell you that you've been an inspiration to my dear friend who suffered a mc in March. I told her about you conceiving immediately. She got straight onto it and she's pg again already. So pleased for her. Thanks to you (and Reese) for the inspiration!

Nice weekend here despite dire sleep. Nothing to do with DCs. All to do with a neighbour's burglar alarm. 3 times on Friday night and 4 last night. Grrrrr. They were away for the Easter hols.... Seems that they had the same problem as us a few weeks ago, but because they weren't around to pick up on it it set the whole system went off. They are mortified and we are tired.

Finally managed to get some half decent pics of the DDs together, so will try to upload some....

Evening. If anyone fancies making a cartoon of themselves like my Facebook pic, have a look here. You make your 'doll' and save it as a jpeg somewhere you can find it again, then upload as a photo on FB.

Night Sazzles hope you get a full night.

I'm off too (I think) I'm on a promise if I don't fall asleep first.

Poppy that is incredible news about your friend. I'm so glad my story helped her. Keep me posted on her progress.

Speaking of progress...Oops how are things going for you? I clicked on your profile page and noticed your not posting on ttc threads. Are you ttc actively now?

Just watching the beach show about Croatia. I had no idea the beauty there. Isn't that area plague with political unrest? I'm going to have to google it.

Ladies I think I've found the bottom of my laundry basket. All I've washed this weekend is nicely put away. There's still a pile in my bedroom from before I went to the beach that needs to be put away....later.