December 2007 "The one where babies walk the walk... and talk the talk"

[Arcadie]

I'm sorry - I couldn't last out. Welcome to the new thread.

Oh cazzy, how dreadful!
Those injuries are really scary, but they can reslove quite quickly when the pressure is relieved. I hope thats the cse for your dh Everything crossed for you.

Cazzy - sending you and your DH many positive vibes.

Suey, how awful for you and for your mum and dad. Does your mum know you're PG?

Arcadie and BT - it is hard to swallow isn't it, but just keep up the mantra "its their day". If its any consolation both my brother and sister have done similar to me! I was living in Geneva when my brother got married. Wedding was planned for Xmas so I booked to come home to NZ - then they changed it at the last minute to Easter. I still came home at Xmas and missed the wedding. My sister on the other hand decided in her wisdom (without checking with me) to get married on my 21st birthday! Yes the actual day - and I was bridesmaid...

Seems to be a bit of a bad time for us Dec07 gals at the moment - have had some sad news this week myself, thread here.

Suey so sad...

Cazzy sounds very scary, hope you are all ok.

Buzzy poor dd1, I don't think I would be happy about her doing the flight alone. Bet she will really miss him, poor girl.

Arcadie and BT how annoying!

DS has pulled even more keys off laptop

what a lot of awful news

So sorry about your dad suey and how heartbreaking to not tell him you are pg although I would absolutely do the same. Did his sister visit in the end? I hope he goes soon and peacefully.

cazzy - you poor thing - are you still in the UK? Can someone look after the DDs so yon go and see him? I agree that improvement can be amazingly quick even when someone is initially very debilitated following a head injury. My stepmum had a stroke a couple of years ago - couldn't move or speak at first and is now completely back to her usual self. I really hope the same happens for your DH x

Well today I spoke to his nurse for sometime today....god it all feels like a really really bad dream and for the 1st time they have oicked up some brain damage and he will need some rehabilitation...oh god panic panic panic...

why me??? just when things were starting to be OK...I must have been really bad in a previous life

Oh no Cazzy, how awful for you. Is there anyone with him in the States? Hopefully he is in a good hospital, and they are taking good care of him. I had my scans for dd1 in Miami and the healthcare was phenonemal (and phenonemally expensive, but at least we weren't paying!). I hope you get some more news soon and that it is good, but it must be really hard being so far away from him. I am guessing that with the dc's there isn't much chance of you going out there, is there anyone else who can go?

Suey, how awful for you too. Like everyone says I hope your poor father passes away peacefully, it must be so hard for him. I would be in two minds about telling him you were pregnant again - my brother and sister-in-law told my granny just before she died and it made her happy for them, but then it was their first.

Buzzy - that's pretty tough too. Why is your ex-h moving away? Long distance relationships are difficult but things like Skype do help and at least he seems to want to keep up good contact with her. I read your thread and would probably come down on the side of unaccompanied travel for your dd being an adventure rather than a trauma. She'll probably be a right little globe-trotting missy before you know it!

Cazzy, so sorry you're having to go through this. If you can't go, can other family? How awful that he's in another country too.

Clara, dd1's father has remarried and recently had a baby. New wife is from Scotland and wants to go back now she has child. While I kind of get that, it doesn't really make it any easier for DD. She is very close to him and next year will inevitably be pretty traumatic. I'm now contemplating going over with her myself maybe a couple of months after her leaves - but it will be pretty expensive and difficult as I will have to take DD2 as well. I don't think I can contemplate putting her a plane to do that big trip the first time ever alone - but you're right I think she will probably be OK to do trips after that and will probably really enjoy them.

oh cazzy! Try not to think too much about the implications of the scan: unless you've spoken to the neurologist about his prognosis. He could still make a full recovery with some brain damage: it just depends where it is and how much. I'd try and get him on the phone ASAP. The brain is amazing and will create new connections around the damaged area: there need not be any deficit in some cases.

Buzzy that sounds very sensible. Have you thought about asking xH to pay half your fares the first time? He surely can't be happy about her going alone so far the first time. The alternative is that you see her onto the second leg: whether that be singapore or LA. If i were in your shoes, it would be the changeover that would be freaking me out.

oh buzzy...you are damned what ever you do no? 5 weeks without your dd is such a long time for you to cope with, however equally 47 weeks is long for ex-h.....I am sure you will work something out with the flights - he will have to fly back to pick her up maybe

bloody life...sometimes i wish i could be a child again

oh Cazzy how terrifying for you but I completely second what suey said about recovery. If he has shown any signs of improvement since the fall that is a really positive sign. Do you know when he will be coming back? Is it possible for you to go over there even briefly or do you think that would be too disruptive for your DDs - do you have family who could look after them for a few days?

buzzy - somehow missed your thread last time. Horrid situation but I think it is a great idea for you to go with her the first time and I also think it's great that you are committed to finding a way for her to go, despite being understandably pissed off and worried about him going. I'm sure it will become a really exciting summer trip for her once she has done it a few times although I'm sure you will miss her terribly for a whole 5 weeks. Could your mum go over with her? Or would you rather do it yourself the 1st time?

Hiya all, I keep missing so much and everything changes in here.

Oh Cazzy, what terrible news. I hope you're coping ok and that your DH recovers quickly.

Congratulations to the new bumps
Arcadie, Skid, Suey & Kelbel - is there anyone else I've missed?

Well I don't know about you but the year of the Ox is certainly living upto it's name of being hard work and difficult. I'm hoping that we're coming out of the worst and things should get better by Xmas.

Hi all!

Suey, so so sorry to hear about your Dad, its so hard . Your DD saying "bye bye grandad" brings tears to my eyes. I think you are probably right to keep your pg to yourself, I didn't tell my Mum I was pg when she was dying, she was already so sad about leaving the DSs behind.

Cazzy, I have been following you on FB and am so so sorry for you and DH, it must be so hard for you, especially with him so far away but he is alive, talking and aware of himself, the rest will improve with time. Any idea when he can come home?

Arcadie, I would not go on the hen do either, not due to being annoyed but because traipsing around bars when very pg is not much fun! Isn't one of the other bridesmaids pg too? Its highly annoying for you but I guess it is her day etc.... grrrrr. (same for you BT with your friend's wedding - you can understand people doing things their own way but its rude not on to mess other people around).

Buzzy, its a tricky one, I can see why exH is moving but also can't see how he can bear to leave DD behind . I would not be happy about her flying unaccompanied that far, she's far too young IMHO but I think it'll be great for her to spend time in another country every year, I hope you can sort something out and that the excitement of visiting will help stop her being too sad that he's moving away.

Hi Ambi, how are things with you? I think you are right about this year, it does seem to be a particularly hard one, for lots of people I know too.

Clairey at DS! Evie does the same although she just says "know" for don't know - usually spreading her hands out or shrugging at the same time.

Any other Cbeebies watchers out there - what do you think of Waybuloo? Personally I think its awful a bit naff but will it grow on me? DD saw a bit of it the other day at a friends house and then yesterday started pointing at the TV (which was off) saing "balloo, balloo!" After working out she didn't want a balloon or a ball I asked "Waybuloo?" and got a yes (complete with jumping up and down in excitement) - luckily it was on, can you imagine the tantrum if it hadn't been...

oh god i am having a bad dy today...and my mum is cross with me because i can't phone dh...i just seem to stop crying...i don't know if i can do this.....I want to bury my head in the sand and make it all go away...but it won't

so many people are telling me to go out there, but i can't. how can i leave the dds? damned what ever i do and its not going to change anything

I fucking hate being a grown up

oh cazzy! People can sometimes not be helpful. you poor thing! Hopefully DH will be transferred to the UK as soon as he is properly stable: and hopefully that will be in a couple of days. So even if you did arrange something, you may get there just as he was leaving.

In your position i would tell a little white lie to get people off your backs: tell that that he is due to be transferred and that there is no point in going out when you don't know when that will be.

Have you been able to talk to your DH?

Oh Cazzy poor you

I agree with Suey2 - if you tried to arrange to go out there, by the time you have that sorted they would be arranging a transfer for him to come back here!

Buzzy - nice bombshell your XH has dropped on you . I think you are being very understanding and mature about it. It must be a very hard decision for you. I hope you and XH sort something out.BTW have you and XH got Skype? I strongly recommend you both download this and get a webcam - then when XH does move, the DDs can talk to him and see him regularly - and Skype to Skype calls are free. I use this to keep in touch with both my parents, and they love seeing DS over the webcam

right Iam more postive now...they are talking about Tuesday or Thursday....he has damaged his cerebellum - the bit that does movment - which explains his inability to walk well. He is however able to walk a little bit with only 1 person and they are confident that he can be re-taught these skills. His short-term memory is better. but still poor for some things. They are confident that this isn't damaged per say, mearly taking time to return. He is much more aware of thinge he can't remember and do...and I think is worried by this. He still finds it hard to focus on something if lots of things are going round and still is off reading....I am terrified about seeing him again. That probably sounds awful (and selfish)...I just want him to be him and not someone who has got some brain damage however minor it is.....
His friends out there are so positivre about all the things he can do whilst I am thinking about all the things he won't be able to that will completly change my life!!!

right Iam more postive now...they are talking about Tuesday or Thursday....he has damaged his cerebellum - the bit that does movment - which explains his inability to walk well. He is however able to walk a little bit with only 1 person and they are confident that he can be re-taught these skills. His short-term memory is better. but still poor for some things. They are confident that this isn't damaged per say, mearly taking time to return. He is much more aware of thinge he can't remember and do...and I think is worried by this. He still finds it hard to focus on something if lots of things are going round and still is off reading....I am terrified about seeing him again. That probably sounds awful (and selfish)...I just want him to be him and not someone who has got some brain damage however minor it is.....
His friends out there are so positivre about all the things he can do whilst I am thinking about all the things he won't be able to that will completly change my life!!!

oh good cazzy - that sounds very positive. I can totally understand your worry about him not being who he was but at least you can be fairly sure he will return to how he was even if it takes a little while. It is usually damage to the frontal lobe which results in what can seem like a complete change in personality so hopefully it will just be a case of relearning skills.

Does Tuesday mean tomorrow? Or next Tuesday? Can you have someone with you when he comes home for support?

Oh Cazzy, that does sound much better. I imagine that fact that you're not able to see him yet makes it all much worse for you and you're hearing about his condition second hand.I hope that when you get to see him that it will feel better for you. What a terrible time, I wish that there was something I could do.

Cazzy You're not being selfish - blimey woman it's not selfish to want things to be the same as they were, it's just human - of COURSE you don't want him to be brain damaged, in the same way you'd probably not like him to come back with 4 fingers missing. You just want him to be ok and that's perfectly reasonable. Hope he's home very very soon.

thanks beckle ambi Clairey Buzzy BT Suey et al for understanding my hen do gripe. As it turns out she's recontacted all the potential hens and put forwards a brilliant proposal or stay at hers, have manicure / facial in her City and lunch out. Got to aforementioned City of 30 odd miles away to go to a Comedy Club ( I LOVE stand up) and for a meal. She'll organise a coach / minibus home afterwards. GENIUS!!!!! Thinking that it's a fantastic compromise and am praying that lots of people go for it.

Just found out today that My cousin is expecting number 3 a few days after me. Same cousin has a daughter a few days older than my DD and another DD a few weeks older than my DS. We've managed to match pgnancies 3 for 3! It's just too weird. Shame she lives at totally the wrong end of the country because we'd be SO close otherwise"!

great news cazzy!
AS skid says, if the damage is in the cerebellum the short term memory and personality should return to normal: it will only be altered now since the brain goes into shock and there is an increase of pressure temporarily. The cerebellum is concerned mainly with balance and control of movement.

Arcadie im glad that it should be sorted amicably.

Just catching up - missed loads although I do wish you hadn't all been through such a crap time.

Cazzy you really must be going through hell and we can all understand your fears. At least you can express them on here given the problem of discussing it with friends and family. Hope the news continues to be positive.

Suey you seem to be bearing up andvlike Beckle hearing about your DD's goodbye is so sad.

Arcadie your earlier posts reminded me about my engagement party where I ended up being the designated driver for loads of the guests as I was pg. Couldn't help thinking that there was something wrong with that. Glad to see things have improved since. Hope you enjoy the evening.

Beckle definitely with you on the Waybuloo front - having very similar experience here. Got a horrible feeling it might brainwash you like ITNG - seem to remember feeling the same way about that to begin with. Mind you DD has got a real thing about Wallace and Grommit at the moment so we get pleas for "Mommit, mommit" morning, noon and night.

Oooh Buzzy almost forgot - sorry - looks like you are in a no win situation. I would have kittens about my DD doing the same thing at that age. Have you come to any conclusions or have a plan?

Cazzy Any more news?

Saw on Facebook, Cazzy's DH is back home