December 2007 "The one where babies walk the walk... and talk the talk"

[Arcadie]

I'm sorry - I couldn't last out. Welcome to the new thread.

Oh no Cazzy! Hope she recovers quickly and it doesn't affect the rest of you

AIBU? (sorry about length and me-me tone but I need some advice!):
DD2 and I saw her father today. As you may recall we see him once a fortnight for a couple of hours and that suits me fine. He also contributes nothing towards her costs - and I have never asked for anthing (he's not legally her father although neither of us disputes that he is). However almost every time we meet he asks if there's something she needs - to which I usually give helpful responses like "yes she could always do with more leggings, t-shits, socks" etc. Over the last 18 months he's given her the grand total of 2 singlets, 2 T-shirts and some soft shoes and socks - so I thought maybe I need to be more specific and/or he would be more likely to get her something he regards as "fun" so suggested he get her a doll's buggy. Anyway he turns up today with the doll's buggy finally about 3 months after I suggested, plus a hand-me-down 3 yo raincoat and a little denim dress. Do you think I'm unreasonable to think maybe a bit more would be nice? I'm really not sure whether I'm being unreasonable given that I'm not offering him any more access?

Clairey - good on you!! Keep at him - he needs to make the effort too, its not a one way street. Sounds like he has a pretty good idea of what he'd loose though which is great. Hang in there.

Cazzy - sorry to hear about flu symptoms. Do you have any reason to believe it would affect your DDs more than average? Seems here in NZ that most of those hospitalised have underlying conditions.

SQ - I had to fill in a massive long questionnaire when we took DD1 to be assessed by educational psycholigist (at age 5) to see whether she fell into "gifted" territory and one of the questions was definitely about sleeping and whether she seemed to need less sleep than other kids. Also whether her language developed early, she had a very good memory, and was strongly interested in patterns. Can't remember all the other questions but am happy to dig out if you want?

Clairey and SQ have decided that if your DC can count then I better get onto it with DD2 so have started by counting her toes when she has a nappy change - which she LOVES!

actually after being quite poorly for about 18 hours she is fine and is now 32 hours later she is bounding round the huse...

so either she had it mildely or just had a cold

Hi guys! Lots seems to have happened again (including an earthquake it seems!)

Arcadie, huge congrats on your pregnancy ! I have to say I do feel a tiny little bit of at the pgs and new babies about now that DD is getting so big and independent. Doesn't help that DH is making noises about having another, I'm not sure if I want to though so have told him not yet and to ask me again in a year.

Clairey, I can't believe your DH dropped such a bombshell on you and then took it back again and is acting like nothing happened! I do hope you can work through this though although as others have said it is a two-way street.

Cazzy, fingers crossed it is not swine flu or that your DD has it mildly. My town has it all over now, people at my work (a supermarket so constant exposure to lots and lots of people) are going down with it, half our police force have it, it hit the DS's school last week too so we are on alert! Double hoping we don't get it as I have been right off colour for a week now, no energy, stiff and achey and a bad throat - no temperature though thankfully! Think DH has it too and DS1 has possibly had it too. Lots of nasty viruses about. How is everything else with you? Has your bleeding stopped now?

Buzzy, I'm not sure whether you are being unreasonable or not! My inital feeling is that it doesn't seem like he has contributed very much at all and I think a little more would be good but also perhaps the fact he only sees her a couple of hours a fortnight is why he hasn't done more? Maybe he doesn't feel connected to her? I don't think men are as connected to their children as women are. Perhaps you could speak to him about it? Is he a fairly reasonable/approachable person?

DD's speach is coming on in leaps and bounds, she is lovely (and comical)! Unfortunately she copies DS1 a lot and so is constantly saying "why?" or "Oh, not fair" when asked to do/stop doing something! She usually gets it in the right context too .

Hey everyone, long time no post from me! I cant seem to keep up with everything in real life let alone get online regularly!

Congratulations Arcadie, I have just joined the TTC #3 thread but we aren't actually TTC until next month.
Is anyone else expecting from the Due in Dec 07 thread? Just read a bit more of thread and see a congratulations is in order to DrSkidaddle too, fab news!

Clairey - just briefly read what you had written, I hope you have chance to clear your head and that DH is making the effort to get your relationship back on track. I totally agree with what others have said about having two young toddlers can strain any relationship - I know ours goes up and down a lot.

Wow, Insy has had a her baby , belated congratulations to you sweety. Sorry to hear you have been in hospital, I hope you are both home and better soon xxx

Oh pants - DD has projectile vomitted on the stairs (carpet). She was so well too then just blurgh as I was taking her up to bed. Poor wee thing - first thing you think too is swine flu isn't it? Funny really where in the past the last thing I would have thought would be flu! Hope its just a gastro bug and over quickly. I cleaned her up and popped her on the sofa in a clean sleeping bag with a towel under her while I cleaned the stairs (as best I could) and put a mattress cover on her bed. She still seemed OK 2 hours later so have now put her to bed - fingers crossed for the rest of the night...

Hope she recovers soon buzzy and it's just a sick bug.

WRT her dad I think I would definitely expect more and if nothing else it would annoy me that he didn't seem to want to give more iyswim. How is he with her when you see him? Just thinking along the same lines as Beckle that maybe the fact he doesn't see that much of her means he doesn't have much connection or even that he is scared to tread on your toes by giving too much?

Cazzy glad dd1 seems better.

Good to see you back ceciliamay (you are L o u c e e aren't you?!) How are you all?

Beckle ds says 'why' too, I usually have them both saying it in stereo

Hi girls. Not sure if any of you will remember me? I was on the original Dec 07 ante natal threads and the early post natal threads but real life just got too busy for me and couldn't keep up. Have often had a nose at the threads to see how you are all doing though. Lot's of you I remember but some of you I guess joined after I went Hope I'm allowed back

From what I've read I see Insy has had baby no3 - Congratulations! I remember when we were on the TTC no2 threads together - seems like an age ago!

Congratulations Skidaddle or should I say DoctorSkidaddle When are you due?

Congratulations to Arcadie too, lovely news. Anyone else I've missed that is expecting?

Hope I'll be able to join back in the conversation and keep up to date with everyone. I am definately finding dd2 easier at 18 months than she was as a baby.

Clairey - thats right, I am her! We are doing ok I spose, although pulling my hair out with DS's eating (or lack of I should say!). I rememeber DD went through a similar thing and then she seemed to just change over night and eat bowls of pasta etc but DS will only pick at food and not eat a proper meal. This week I even gave him some Ellas kitchen pouches as I figured getting some food even though pureed was better than none at all. I think his teeth are to blame but he has had this habit since his last teeth came through so I worry he thinks this is "how to eat" (even though when I pick him up from the childminder they comment that he has eaten everything he has been offered).

DD is 3.5 yrs old and a little cherub, she has always been an energectic, type to run off , tantrums etc but she seems to have grown into herself now and is great company.

They both sleep 6.30-6.30am which is nice to have long evenings but I wish they would lie in now and again!

I need to tackle DS's dummy off him soon. I took it away at Christmas and he went a couple of weeks without it but my goodness he cried so much (he got a cold/chest infection a day after I had taken it away) that I gave it back just to help soothe him as his big teeth came through at the same time. Does anyone else's little one still have a dummy?

Hi Furryfox I remember you.

Hope your DD is ok Buzzy.

Ah dd was the same, still is sometimes. It is very frustrating. You just want them to EAT! (and yes, I have yelled that at her in the past ). That's good that they sleep the same times, mine are both in bed 7pm ish and ds finally settles fairly easily but then he wakes at 5am (and sometimes in the night too). I am starting to feel quite awake at 5am now which is worrying!

Oh and he still has a dummy. DD still has one at night though (she was all set to give it up on her 3rd bithday but then my bloody mother interfered...)

Furry I remember you too, good to hear from you

Hi Loucee, dd2 still has a dummy too, I have thought about getting rid at least in the day but can't face it until we have moved and have settled. I guess there will always be an excuse (next I will think I will wait until after her last teeth are through) but it was such a great help on the flight etc that I don't want to take it away yet.

Clairey - we're the same about early mornings. Slightly later than you, dd1 is usually up about ten to six, but that has become totally normal. My friends who have children who sleep to 7 or later think I am totally mad to get up at that time. But you just have to live with the hand you are dealt with as far as early wakings are concerned. In my view, if you don't like getting up early don't have children!

Hello Furryfox, don't think I remember you but I didn't join until I knew I was definitely pregnant so perhaps I missed you. Welcome back anyway!

Buzzy - hope your dd2 is ok. I was thinking how wierd it is that we are all worrying about the same illness - swine flu - even though you are living on the other side of the world!

hi loucee and furry - I remember both of you! Great to hear from you.

Loucee - sorry to hear about DS's eating although it sounds like he is getting a fair bit if he eats everything at the childminder's. Hard not to worry thoough I know. Thanks for the congrats - and good luck with TTC!!

furry - thanks for the congrats too - am due late Feb/early March - not quite sure when as cycles are long and irregular. Funny that you should say you are finding DD2 much easier now than when she was a baby as I was thinking this morning that I am finding DS harder than ever! Might be a boy thing (climbing, jumping, no fear, always wants to be outside, sits in every puddle he sees etc) or may be a pregnant thing (sick to my core all day everyday and utterly exhausted)!

clara - very wise to keep the dummy when DD2 is about to have all these huge changes in her life. I personally have never really understood why people are so keen to get dummies off young children (as long as they're not on them so much it is affecting their teeth/speech) - they provide great comfort and what on earth is wrong with that?

buzzy - very difficult situation re DD2's dad and don't really know what it is reasonable to expect. I don't think YABU but I don't know if he is either. As others say, because he sees her so little he may be a bit clueless about how much stuff she needs, what kind of things would be useful etc. maybe if you explain to him very explicitly what she needs and why it might help? Hope DD2 is feeling better

Hi all.... just got back from early scan and apparently it was too early to tell if DC3 is ok or not. Apparently they couldn't see him/her at all but just the little sac he / she's sitting in. Feeling a bit glum about possible / probable MC ( but still very chuffed for skid and strangely of the morning sickness!!!)

Anyone know any good jokes to cheer me up? (nothing too dirty please!)

me me meeeeee me eme me meeeeeeeeeeee. ( Sorry , did anyone else on this thread have anything to say? Nope......) Sorry Buzzy / Clara / Clairey and co - will do a more "others centred" post when head is clearer.

hi arcadie, isn't it much too early to see the embryo at this stage? How come you had an early scan? Were you worried about anything? Must be awful not knowing but from reading other people's posts on antenatal threads I think it is common not to be able to see anything until 7 weeks-ish? How pg are you? I know it is easy for me to say but I really don't think it is anything to worry about yet - if they thought there was reason to worry, they would have said so. Do you have another scan booked? Hopefully you will be able to see all is well then xx

Early scan because of bleed at 4 weeks. I'm 6 weeks today. Sac measures at about 4 weeks ish. The sonographer thought that she ought to be able to see foetus but couldn't. Nother scan in 2 weeks. Thanks skid

And where's my joke?

Buzzy hope DD is on the mend. Don't think YABU but how much contact does he have with other small children? Before I had DD I really had no idea how quickly children go through clothes and types of toys, or how much it all cost. Perhaps it's ignorance rather than being tightfisted? The notes on IQ would be interesting if you can find them.

Clairey Glad to see that there have been some positive developments, even though it must be so frustrating for you. Hope things continue to improve.

Clara you do share my pain It's when I'm in big grownup meetings and the words to s*dding kangeroo are revolving continuously around my brain that drives me to a silent scream. Mind you, I was out on a teambuilding thing last week when it started to rain and another member of the team piped up with "Oh no, rain, can't go over it, can't go under it, we'll have to go through it". We are not alone

DD has hacking cough, I've got raging hayfever and DH has been diagnosed with Swine Flu today . Thinking of putting a cross on the front door like they did in medieval times

Hopefully, assuming we're all recovered, we're off to France next Tuesday and then will get a much needed break....

Arcadie did hear on the radio someone had seen a sign on a hog roast vendors stand - "Get your revenge on the swine that gave you the flu"

Will that do?

arcadie - I can NEVER remember jokes but SQ's isn't bad... poor you - 2 weeks is a bloody eternity when you have this hanging over you . Take very good care of yourself and try to arrange lots of nice things to do over the next fortnight although I know nothing will make the time pass quickly Have everything crossed for you.

SQ - oh gosh poor you! hope you are all better before your holiday and DH's swine flu passes quickly. LOL at the cross on the door - I was just saying to DH this morning that maybe it was like this living through the plague!!

Arcadie - that's very early to see anything. I had a bleed at 7 weeks and they did see a heart beat but said that was lucky. Good luck though. x

Thanks SQ keep em coming.
And Skid I have my brother's wedding followed by a family holiday... without DH. That'll keep me occupied I guess! Not telling family until after Phil's wedding cos don't want to be accused of upstaging/ limelight stealing.

Slara thanks.

You guys are great - I have to say I'm feeling just rubbish this afternoon and your posts are really cheering me up.

Clara not Slara.... sorry.

And SQ Aaaargh swineflu and hayfever and cough. That's just nasty. Go with the cross on the door. Maybe some lamb's blood....

Thanks for the welcome back everyone

Skid - I think I'm finding dd easier now because she was just a nightmare baby (that sounds awful), she was just very wingy all the time and generally not happy. Took her to the doctors and they said she was fine. Perhaps it was frustration because when she started walking at 12 months she was much better. I did however find dd1 much easier at the baby stage than the toddler stage My MIL told me DH was like it as a baby too but lasted until school age , she said that's why he's an only child.

SQ - Sorry about the illness in your house. Hope everyone is better for your holiday to France

Arcadie - Sorry you have to wait two weeks for another scan, hope the time passes quickly and everythings ok.

Re dummies. DD1 had a dummy till just after her third birthday. I had always planned on taking it away much sooner than that but she's a stubborn little thing. She needed it to get to sleep but the older she got the more she wanted it during the day. DD2 still has one at the moment but she literally has it just for naps and bedtime. On the odd occcasion she will have it when we're out if she's moany but do try and limit it as don't want her to get like DD1 was and very possessive of it.

DD1 is a complete nightmare at bedtime at tthe moment so am preparing myself for another battle later. Oh the joy