Dec 08- Must keep chocolate & cheerfulness near, teething time is nearly here!

[pmk1]

Right.... back to post the link now!

Morning All

How are you doing JJ? A little better I hope.

LadyT - I totally agree about The Apprentice. I have worked in the public sector all my life and never really had to think about how to make money but I am convinced I have more business nouve than most contestants. Their talents are usually in botching and back-stabbing rather than business. I still love watching though.

Kim - sorry you have to move again but having Judah will at least provide you with lots of opps to meet people. Babies are great like that.

Well we had a fab weekend in Cambridge. The wedding was lovely with the most amazing choral music sung by ex- King's choral scholars. Dd2 was good for the sitter so we stayed out 'till 1am(get us). Yesterday morn was sunny so we had a walk through the colleges and inspired by this thread I bought a copy of Brideshead ( great minds Rosnerta). We also viewed the house again before we left on Sat and without PiL's to dampen the mood of felt right again!

Jump I really wish I'd seen your post last night. Everyone has given you great advice already... I particularly think trying to think of the day in 'chunks' is a good one. If it's any consolation I find Monday mornings terrible because the whole week looms very large and lonely ahead. It is SO hard caring for a baby 24/7 - and particularly one which doesn't sleep. My DD1 only ever slept for 45 minutes at a time and almost killed me so I truly know how you feel.

Btw the baby equivalent of CTRL ALT DEL in our house is to put the baby in the car seat and drive for an hour... but not v practical if you're totally sleep-deprived.

I know you're worried about not seeing your DH but I think you NEED every scrap of sleep you can get at the minute. I think early bedtime is a good idea, however hard it is, because once they get overtired it just gets hideous (IME). We put DD2 to bed at 6pm and she's usually asleep by 6:30 - and the early part of the night is when she reasonably reliably sleeps, so I catch up then. There will be time enough next year for romantic dinners a deux! Honest - DD1 was a total NIGHTMARE sleep-wise, but for the past three years she's been BRILLIANT. It DOES get better.

(and while you're going through the horribleness, content yourself with plans for revenge... I particularly like imagining DD1 at about 17, having been out with her friends, and me switching the vacuum cleaner on LOUDLY outside her bedroom door at 5am ;-) "oh - did I wake you darling?!")

Big big big hugs. Sleep deprivation is evil. I had a crap night last night and am just thankful for the druuuuuuugs today!

I really hope you had a good night last night.

Sybil - sorry you are down.
Everyone - sorry I can't type. That last post made sense to me, honest.

sybil sorry you're feeling down today though I might have to smack you for M's big sleep . Have you any chocolate in the house? I would park the diet for a day and indulge... but then that's probably why I'm lardy and you aren't! Hope your day gets better.

arti, glad you liked the house again! And that you had a nice time in Cambridge, sounds like a proper night out!

sybil, sorry you're down today. Ds1's sleeping through was one night only as well, he's been very wakeful since!

jj, how are you today? Hope things are a little better.

Kayz/trace, I'm still up for York next week. I'll email you shall I? Anyone else?

ladyt/arti, we love the Apprentice, its the only reality programme we watch!

Seems like a nice day today, & I have the car which is a bonus so think we will head out for the day somewhere. I'm tempted to head to the coast!

Morning all,

Not had a proper catch up yet but just to say that after a week of DS going down 7-7 with just the one wake (exc BF) the past 3 nights he's been up loads, about every 1.5/2 hours. So I'm with trace in hoping its a development thing. We tried a formula top up for DD when she was small and it never worked, so I'm not going to bother and just ride it out [hopeful emotion].

Have had a very odd weekend. Found out that a friend of DH has been having an affair for the past year - his wife gave birth to their 3rd DD 4 weeks ago . If I get my hands on him I will kill him, she is totally crushed. I just cannot believe what he has done, he was an usher at our wedding and I believed him to be a lovely family man!

Then yesterday DD's godparents and our best friends rang to say they were seperating as they had grown apart. I know it happens but their twins are the same age as DD and we have had some wonderful days out/times together. Its just so sad to think its coming to an end.

Will catch up on everyone elses news now

Morning all,

Not had a proper catch up yet but just to say that after a week of DS going down 7-7 with just the one wake (exc BF) the past 3 nights he's been up loads, about every 1.5/2 hours. So I'm with trace in hoping its a development thing. We tried a formula top up for DD when she was small and it never worked, so I'm not going to bother and just ride it out [hopeful emotion].

Have had a very odd weekend. Found out that a friend of DH has been having an affair for the past year - his wife gave birth to their 3rd DD 4 weeks ago . If I get my hands on him I will kill him, she is totally crushed. I just cannot believe what he has done, he was an usher at our wedding and I believed him to be a lovely family man!

Then yesterday DD's godparents and our best friends rang to say they were seperating as they had grown apart. I know it happens but their twins are the same age as DD and we have had some wonderful days out/times together. Its just so sad to think its coming to an end.

Will catch up on everyone elses news now

veggie because she didn't get maternity leave, was back at work at 3 weeks, her husband didn't help, expected dinner on the table at 6 every night blah blah blah. I don't know if she thinks DH shouldn't help me or she just wants me to get my violin out for her and say how hard it must have been. GRRR...not even like I was moaning I was finding things hard, all that was said was she says when he's overtired I should let him cry (I agree tbh as it is the only thing that seems to work), and DH said that when I am tired I sometimes find that difficult to do. And then the tirade of how hard it was in her day started.
Oh and the usual starting to try and feed him has started and thinking it's amusing. Grrr...DH plays up to this as well, which pisses me off. MIL keeps saying that DS wants food, he's 3 months and he shows absolutely NO INTEREST whatsoever. So stupid. Oh and she wanted to feed him a taste of cheese as "it's just like milk". I had to point out that they can't drink cows milk until 1 year. But this is then followed by doubting questions and numerous dodgy scientific theories, usually based on the feeding habits of cows and chickens. Oh and she says that my parents will feed DS when I am not looking. NO THEY WON'T AS THEY ARE NOT RUDE ENOUGH TO IGNORE WHAT I WANT.
Right rant over.

Oh something mildly amusing I saw. In our local gumtree (local online ads thing), I was looking at baby things, and someone had advertised breast milk for sale. At 50 quid a pint! Girls, I think there is money to be made here! Especially for experts like pmk! jj hope you had a better night.
arti glad you had a good weekend in Cambridge

I agree re the Apprentice, I just can't stop watching it though (not seen this weeks episode though, so shhh). I also think Alan Sugar is as bad as the contestants.

Oh and another thing I meant to ask/say. Does anyone else, particularly first timers, find there are total pessimists that they know who have kids. These were the people who would say to me things such as
"Oh you're having kids, it's the end of your life hahahaha"
"Are you ready for the agony of childbirth, hahahaha"
"You will never sleep again, hahahaha"
"You will never ever go out for a meal again, hahahha" (DH took this one too seriously, and it contributed to me putting on 3 stone in pregnancy as we went out for so many meals)

All negative stuff, and most annoying. And now I have a kid, and I say "Oh yes, overall I am enjoying it", they have started on "Oh enjoy it while it lasts it gets soooo much worse" "Just you wait til they are walking, blah blah blah".

These people are so annoying!! Can't they ever say anything positive?

Yes Ros if you e-mail we can get it all sorted out.

Daisy Sorry about DS waking up alot. I hope it passes soon. Sorry to hear about your poor friend, I can't begin to imagine how she must feel especially with a 4 week old.

Sybil I hope you cheer up soon. I can tell you a really bad joke but I'm sure it won't help. A man walks into a bar OW!!(Told you it was bad)

Arti I'm glad you like the house again without PILs. I'm glad you had a good time in Cambridge. I love it there but of course I hardly get to go now. It was the first place my parents let me go without them. My best friend and I went there shopping when we were 14. We felt so independent.

Hi!
Yes kayz and Ros I'm still up for next week. DH has given me the all clear! Think zoe is coming too. Think I may have accidently deleted the old emails with everyone's email address on it - but mine is [email protected].

Sybil - sorry you're a little blue - I've just had a minor disaster which may cheer you up...
I was just applying my mustache removal cream (the curse of the brunette!), which stays on for max 5 minutes. I got involved in a text conversation with a friend, forgot about the time...and now my upper lip is beautifully hair free but very red and tingly . I think I'll find it amusing when the pain subsides!

Verso - sorry you had a crap night too - but you actually sound a little perkier this morning - which is lovely to hear. Your old self is lurking in there somewhere and I'm sure you'll be feeling much better very soon. I thought of you last night when I was reading "What Mothers do" - have you got it?
And I love your idea of pay-back when our DCs are teenagers!

Arti - 1am!!!! You dirty stop-out!! Glad you had a fab time. How did it work out for you with the non BF dress?

I'm off to the lovely under 1s group as soon as P wakes up. Yay! I love that group! Then meeting my needy (but currently much happier) friend for lunch before Head Measurement Time.

Will catch up with you all later.

summer - I totally agree - there seem to be people out there who see their children as an unfortunate inconvenience who they have to put up with and who has ruined their life! Poo to them. Keep up with your positive stuff! Kids are fab!
And a friend of mine who was really struggling after her second child said she had a turning point when she realised that this was her life now. Basically she had been failing to see how she could squish the children into her already very full life and return to how things had been in Life Before Children, but then realised that things would never be the same and that she was now a mother and that other things had to fit around that. She was down about it at first, mourning her old life, but then she found it very liberating to relax into her new role and allow herself to be a mother, and she's gone on and had a 3rd child now!!

summer me? expressing expert? So far from that it isnt funny!! I spend ages attached to the pump first thing in the morning and do get 6oz's now but thats only due to Fenugreek supps! The rest of the day forget it! Most i've got in an evening is 1oz - once! I'd go broke and B would starve if I sold my milk!! How grim is that anyway!!
Your MIL!!!
I know what you mean about those type of people - i've had all that too....
Arti Glad you viewed the house again and it changed your mind back - good feeling that!
Syb hope your day picks up I'm still feeling grim with this awful cold but the weather today is picking things up for me... Hope B doesn't get it off me - hopefully the Breast milk will keep him well

I think B is baby sleep talking - he's asleep in our big bed while I type and eyes closed but is cooing and muttering! Do babies do that?

sybil this might cheer you up. It made me and DH laugh a lot!
panda

Morning everyone... thanks again for being so lovely, I'd probably have given me a slap round the face with a wet fish and told to buck up my ideas.

We had a better night, in that when she first woke up she wasn't making hungry signs so I pretended I was still asleep, and she grabbed her thumb and settled back to sleep. Two actual feeds and two going back to sleep by herself - so she still woke up lots, but I managed to avoid being impatient and cross with her. This is a minor victory! And then in the morning she gave me a huge gummy grin which meant I had to love her all over again. Damn them and their cunning ways!

veggie - will try going to another bf clinic and get them to check the latch again. We've probably both got a bit lazy about it

trace - sorry to hear you're going through the same thing atm. I know what you mean about pondering a routine - if only it would give us a vague hope of predicting what's going to happen next. The nappy tip is a good one as she often gets v cross if just a little bit damp. (another reason we've not yet given cloth a serious run)

sybil and daisy, sympathy to you guys too - booo to all these babies troubling their mummies!

verso I love the revenge plans!

Experienced mums - does it always happen that about now they try us to the limits? What on earth is the evolutionary advantage of having a knackered cross mummy at this stage I wonder...?

SL another MIL corker there of course all babies in olden tymes were much better behaved and mothers put in 22 hours down the pit while simultaneously keeping the family fed and clothed and seeing to their husband's needs every night as well.

Plans for every day - I do try and get out with her even if it's just WG's desperate walk to get her to sleep. Have got very familar with the back roads round here! And am planning to finally visit all the museums in town that I've never been to despite living here for (eeek) 14 years.

arti - sounds like the wedding was fab. I did see some v smartly dressed people wandering round town but didn't spot you (and realised I couldn't remember your RL name so would have to say hello arti ) Hope the B&G managed to avoid the downpours!

daisy eeek about your DH's friend, what a crapster. And how sad about DD's godparents too I'm sure they'll stay in touch with DD, just perhaps not together. is there something in the air? I did for one terrible brief moment last night think I was p'ing DH off so much that the 'been going out for 7 years' itch might start to kick in, but he was v lovely.

SL negative people - feck'em. They don't get the adorable grins and big hugs that we do. Yes, there are hard days () but on teh whole I think from this thread we generally love our babies to bits and are very happy with them. Nobody can be 100% happy all the time, why should they expect parents to be?

trace - yikes about the tache! Good to hear your needy friend is cheering up. Does she now believe that the babies don't hate her?!

right - she's been entertaining herself on the playmat for a good half an hour while I wrote this marathon, thanmks everyone for the idea of just giving her one thing to play with so she doesn't get over worked up. Can now come and share in the joyous task of hanging out the laundry! I wonder what the builders will be nattering about after the weekend...?!

Arti, glad you had such a lovely time. Hurrah. So are you sticking with the first house now? I am still awaiting my survey and getting a bit cross waiting.

Ros - I will still watch The Apprentice, even though it makes me throw things at the tv.

Daisy, that's rotten about your various friends. Precarious things, relationships, aren't they? I ponder this a lot. When I was in my twenties I was with someone for about ten or eleven years (we are still really close friends) but for various reasons it all went wrong (I am outgoing, he is not; he is cautious and takes ages to make up his mind, I don't; he suffers from depression, I am fortunate enough never to have experienced it; - so many more reasons which I won't bore you with) and it all slipped through our fingers. Mind you, I behaved quite badly in the end (not proud of self). Anyway, I think about mistakes that I made then and try to keep an eye on them on this relationship, especially since we had DD. I think it's easy to let things slip and before you know it, you're having problems. Not to sound gloomy!

Which brings me on to Summer - I too dislike those gloom buckets who tell you your life is finished once you have kids. Yes, I am tired and fatter and poorer, but trying to carry on in the same way I ever did as much as I can, and those first three things are a) temporary (hopefully) and b) worth it for the privilege of having my super and delicious little DD. I am not a martyr, that is what I think. But I also know that I need little oases of selfishness and treats, because adore my DD as I do, I would turn into a nut nut without them.

Jump, great to hear you sounding a bit cheerier this morn. Do you think you and Summer will manage to come to the London meet up?

Syb, you need Little Beacons of Things to Look Forward To. (I know one shouldn't end a sentence on a preposition but I am lazy). What are you reading at the moment? Text me your address and I will send you something interesting. Other things to make yourself feel good might be...

1. Buy some seeds and grow them in a little pot. This is surprisingly cheering.
2. Have a really luxurious bubble bath.
3. Internet shopping - there are all sorts of treasures on e Bay, but there may be sales and things on at the mo and clothes are so cheering.
4. Plan a holiday - even if it is just a weekend away. I spend days of my life poring over Ryanair and Easyjet and Sky Europe websites, in the hope of supercheap flights.
5. Well, if my house goes through you can all have a weekend in the Cotswolds if you feel like it! It was the owner's second house so used as a sort of a holiday cottage anyway.

Ooh, just remembered - haven't had breakfast and my tummy is rumbling!

Morning all. Sorry for bringing the thread down on Saturday, I was having one of those 'black days' which happen sometimes, in fact a bit too frequently for me at the moment.
SL that panda video is soooo funny, had me and DS in stitches and we have watched it 10 times now!
Our house is full of illness today. DS has a terrible cough and was coughing so much thathe threwwup loads oftimeslastnight, andDD still has a bad tummy. Off to the Drs this afternoon for a double whammy. DD supposed to be having her 12 week jabs today (she is 17 weeks!) but think probably not a good idea with already dodgy tummy.
Just found DD asleep with thumb in mouth, which is so cute. She will usually only settle with the dummy, but perhaps we have turned a corner in self settling. Might be able to get rid of 'noo noo' soon then.
Had loads more to say but baby brain has taken over...oh one thing, woke DH up at 7.25 this am (he usually leaves at 7.30) so then had whirlwind of him dressing, brushing teeth and swearing whilst he tries to make his train. MSN'd him once he was on train to check he'd made it. Reply was, 'Yes, just, but as I ran for the train realised my belt was undone and trousers started coming down. Had to carry on running and leap through the doors with trousers round ankles, must've looked a right wierdo!' Made me smile

Hi folks, now have a lovely mental image of your DH, Katie, reminds me of those stories you see in the press every year that say that the most common cause of household injuries is falling over trying to put your trousers on, or something like that...Hope your DS's cough and DD's tummy get better soon, must be really tough with two ill little people.
So sorry you've been having such a time of it JJ, I don't think I can add much to the wisdom already shared here, I just really feel for you. I just hope you'll be able to look back at this period in your life not too long from now (as we all may) and think about how much stronger a person you will have been to get through it all. I still find it amazing to think of how I used to complain about being tired if I'd only slept 6 hours, or for some reason wasn't able to do something I wanted. Yes, life has totally changed, and I still have many moments when I can't quite believe I'm a mother, but it just takes a gummy smile to make you realise what you have.
Have been struggling with the sleeping thing in the two nights since we got back, prob as I'm now back "on duty", T cried out in his sleep at 1am last night (didn't feed til 4) but I couldn't get back to sleep after 1 so am v bleary today. I think it's worse without the adrenaline of something to see you through it. Today's thrilling line up includes tidying and washing. .
Sage advice as ever, LadyT, esp about relationships. I must admit I do find it hard to prioritise spending time with DP as I'm either wrapped up with T or wanting to sleep, but the rows we've had since T was born have tended to result from a lack of connection and empathy with the other's feelings, and I realise this can grow and grow so will try and make more of an effort.
Oh, and just my two pen'arth on the unsettled times some of our LOs are going through, T, who has been such a windy baby you almost needed to peg him to the floor so he wouldn't take off, had calmed down on that front in recent weeks, but has got super windy again as he takes in a lot of air when trying to relieve the pressure on his teething gums while feeding. He also chats a lot through his feed, which adds to the air he sucks in. Cue not eating v much and fitful napping as his belly's never quite full. Am hoping he gets used to the sensation of teeth moving around in his jaw and starts sucking again.
Oh, and I was wondering, when it's nice and sunny I tend to put a hat on T, but do I need to start putting suncream on his face too? Also, can anyone recommend any pushchair shades (I have a Maclaren) as I want to shield T's eyes from the sun but don't think he's ready for a pair of Ray Bans quite yet...

Aww Katie, think of your lovely kitchen! Do you need a magic parcel from me as well?

I expect your DH is feeling the loss of that extra hour. Same here.

Well, spring is here and summer won't be far behind (glances at fat arms and blanches at the thought of short sleeves)

This time last year, I was off to Tobago and Trinidad with my cricket team. Happy days. Oh dear, I am depressing myself now.

Just spoken to our surveyor and the cottage has got a bulging back wall and may need new wall ties. This doesn't sound good as he is talking about engineers and designers. He is going to have another think and come back to me tomorrow, groan...

Right, off to tart myself up as DP is coming home early.

Hello all just popping in quickly have just caught up but have to go out now have so much to add but no time. The boys and I slept in til 8.50am so were very late for ds1s nursery and then went to a friends for caffiene.

Daisy that is really sad about your friends, my brother did that to his wife (though denies it but amazing got together with this women as soon as he and my SIL had separated) and it knocked me for six, it is so hard to comprehend.

Lady I'm always ending sentences with prepositions on here, I kind of treat informal emails and MN like spoken conversations otherwise I would be constantly proof reading to make sure the grammer etc was correct. Also my itouch is on American english for it pre-emptive text so all my ise ended up being ize very annoying but I don't know how to change it.

Trace I hope your upper lip is ok. I have just started waxing my own eye brows and am pleasantly surprised to find the hair grows back slower than at the salon.

Arti you sound lovely this morning glad you enjoyed your night out.

JJ in hindsight I think that ds1 and I got a bit lazy with his latch, it kind of sorted itself out in the end but I had several months of frequent wakings with him from 4 months. With ds2 everynow and then I go back to being strict about his latch and doing it like I'm a newbie (trigger hand position, nose across the nipple line all that) and it seems to be keeping him in check. Also feeding in a dark quiet room has been helping lately too, with distractions.

Gotta go we are off to ikea,

Sybs: sorry you're feeling a bit down. Sadly no majoe fauz-pas to report here . Will do my best this afternoon...

SL: I am guilty of being a gloomy bugger myself on occasion, it's the Lincolnshire =blood coming out. It's so easy to get into a cycle of seeing the worst in everything (my MIL is a gold medal winner in gloom) and it does get everyone else down too

Art: sounds like a fab trip. Was the dress OK? Good to hear the house move is still on

JJ: I reckon you count that as 2 proper wakings and therefore not a bad night . Re the evolutionary aspect, I reckon it isn't coincidence that they start laughing and babbling as they stop sleeping...

2 hr wakings for us as well last night, but at least DS woke up at the new time of 7 rather than 6 (I know it's still 6am GMT but it makes me feel better). Had a lovely morning at playgroup with two mums telling me what a lovely thoughtful boy DS1 is

Ooh, just have to share my news, my sis, who has been trying to get PG for ages and is on IVF attempt no. 3 is pregnant! It's v early days of course, but I'm so happy for her. It's been really difficult between the two of us recently with me having Mr T and her wanting a baby so badly and I'm so excited at the prospect of a cousin for him and a niece or nephew for me! .

Right, I have bothered to open the actual laptop in the hope I might be able to type a proper post that you guys can actually read.

JJ - so glad to hear you had a better night and are feeling brighter. I think we are all on rollercoasters, having great moments and terrible ones. Glad you are on the up.

Summer - Boo to the doom sayers. There are so many of them about. And half of them have kids. Its like it is unfashionable to admit that having kids can be lovely and instead there is some kind of competition to prove who has it hardest.

Katie - sorry you are living in a house of plague. I hope you are all better soon.

LadyT - it is infuriating how slow the mortgage comapnies are at arranging the surveys. I hope yours happens soon. I think we are going to continue with the purchase although first we need to sort out the fact that the extension had no building regs when they built it.

Trace - thanks for asking about the dress. I got all dressed up before the wedding and I have to say that it is amazing what difference proper hair, make-up and clothes can make. I actually looked a little like the old me. DH had persuaded me to buy a carton of formula and try DD2 on it for the first time if she got hungry during the service. I was mucho sceptical as she doesn't suck from a bottle so what was the point? I suspected I would have to dash back to our rooms and undress to feed her at some point. But guess what???? DD2 loves forumla . The little devil sucked away happily, even grinning around the bottle teat. So the dress stayed on and I missed nothing. I never gave DD1 formula so I feel slightly strange about it all but the fact that DD2 loves it will make my life easier when I want to go out occassionally. It made no difference to her sleeping though. Everyone said it would really fill her up and she would be knocked out but she was up every 3 hours like clockwork - just like every other night.

I have a funny story that proves how brain damaged I am from lack of sleep. While I was in Cambridge I passed a GPs surgery with plaques on the wall with each Drs name on. One said Dr Xxxxxx (JJ's surname). I looked at in and thought "ooooh, that is an unusual name, its just like JJ's" then I thought "oooh, her husband is a GP too, how odd there are two Dr Xxxxxxs in Cambridge". I then relayed this to DH who pointed out that it probably was JJ's DH's surgery . JJ is it by Corpus?

Do you know what Arti, DD actually likes the readymade cartons more than the made up kind (which she has almost all the time). It smells a lot nicer too.

That is interesting LadyT. I am going to stick to the eady made stuff for the times we need formula. Can't be bothered with huge boxes of powder and the faff of mixing etc [very lazy emoticon].