Dec 08- Must keep chocolate & cheerfulness near, teething time is nearly here!

[pmk1]

Right.... back to post the link now!

gosh that was incoherent! Typing while feeding.

Katie: it si so depressing seeing relationships break up. I find it most upsetting, esp as the first one I really witnessed was my sister and her ratfink bastard ex - my parents have been happily married for over 30 years and I hadn't really thought about what divorce can do to a family. Am raging at your friend's DH having an affair while she was pregnant and then leaving her with a newborn .

LadyT: wise words as always on relationships. I sometimes wonder how the hell DH and I have managed to be married 10 years, especially considering the stresses of the last couple of years. And I can see that it would really easy to muck things up now, it does take effort (esp on communication, not my best subject) not to let things explode into arguments and sulks and recriminations.

On the book front, I was ridiculously pleased to find 2 obscure L M Montgomery books in the bargain bin at one of our local secondhand bookshops. May well be poor stuff but who knows. Childrens books and trashy novels are about as much as I can manage atm. DH got me a book of Louis Macniece's poetry for my birthday, am carrying it about with me in te hope that I may get the chance to read it in a coffee shop at some point.

Sorry not to have been on for ages - my older two are getting very green-eyed over DD3 and I'm struggling a bit with balancing all three of them. Poor DD3 seems to get left on her bouncy chair an awful lot with me flying past doing things for the older two and calling "just one more minute darling". I fear that might be her first words!

JJ sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I think DC are far nicer after the first year. I'm not great at the baby stage, I find it much easier to spend time with a child that can talk and walk and isn't normally up several times in the night. I remember feeling very bad when my twins were little just wishing they would grow up most of the time.

But I remember reading an article about how everyone had their "golden period" of parenting. For some it's the chubby, cooing baby stage. For others the wide eyed, curious toddler stage. And for others the teenage years and so on. And that you shouldn't feel bad if you feel you are just getting through a stage rather than enjoying every minute of it.

Made a lot of sense to me.

LadyT I love your cheerfulness tips and will try them out!

Arti, glad you had a good wedding.

Effie, hope you get to read your book. I'm reading a great book I found in a charity shop, will try and find a link. It's like an early mumsnet..

Summer..boo from me to the doom and gloom people too...I have three children and get all sorts of negative comments even when all three are behaving impeccably and we are all having a lovely time. I think it gets better and better with children - honestly! Especially when they get older and you get to do things you loved doing as child, watching films you loved as a child and seeing them enjoy them just as much, reading your favourite stories and staying up late because they so want to know what happens next. Ignore those miserable people!

Book is called "Can any mother help me?". Its a collection of writings and letters by a group of 1930's housewives and mothers who formed a support group by post. I found it in a charity shop and it really reminds me of Mumsnet post-natal threads and is reassuring to see that so many other women have had the same worries and feelings that we have.

www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2007/mar/04/society

Just realised thast have been swanning round all morning with my top inside-out!

(hope that cheered you up Sybs )

that'll learn you to swan around, effie .

I've been to the soft play today, sat chatting to a mum & she pointed out that ds2 had grabbed mt top & was exposing me to the room

spot I used this for ds1 & will do for ds2, its brill though dh thought it was a bit over the top. I wouldn't worry about suncream yet, sunshine has vit d which is good (can't remember why though!)

Hi all, will have to do proper catch up later, as I'm typing one handed.

I managed to let DD tip off my knee and smack her forehead into the coffee table yesterday. We went to A&E, she was checked over and she seems right as rain. I feel like the most clumsy stupid mother around and feel sick when I think about how much worse it could have been .

Back later...

oh JB they all fall over/off the bed at some point - it's petrifying but they are surprisingly resilient. It's usually when they learn to roll and you don't realise they can till you hear the thump as they fall off the bed . Glad your DD is OK.

oh jolly, I've lost count of the amount of times ds1 has banged his head, & even ds2 has rolled out of my arms! They all do it & usually are ok! Glad dd is fine though, try not to dwell on it

Jolly Glad you got her checked and she's ok - apparently it's true how Effie said they are quite resilient. I'm constantly terrified as my dh is quite clumsy and absent minded especially when he's tired which is all the time, and I caught ds as he rolled off dh's lap when dh fell asleep. It's been an on going worry of mine but I know i'll have to not worry so much and trust it'll be fine. He assures me that babies bounce a lot unless you drop them head first from a height. But i've been worried ever since.... I know there's going to be accidents but he can be a little too nonchalant about it all if you know what I mean I like hearing other people's stories though, as it makes me lighten up about it - as long as the ending is always ok of course. it's just that we don't have any carpet.

Hate to hear those stories about affairs etc... My brothers ex wife had an affair(s) They separated, she moved out, never saw the kids much, lived the single life for a bit and then left the country with her new bf! Gone 2 years now and has seen the kids less than a handful of times I can't even begin to describe what he's been through! It's so sad. It's "normally" the man...I really feel for that poor mum with the newborn and other kids... How can anyone leave their kids?
LadyT where did you get your wisdom? You certainly are the cheerer-upper-er!

PMK - I am a) very very old now and b) have the wisdom borne of a lifetime of making mistakes...

JB, poor you, must've been a nasty shock. Glad she is ok.

Good ebensong all! I love that word evensong, I have no idea if it actually means good evening but sounds lovely.

Well my friend and I survived ikea we put older boys in the crèche and then shopped for all those little things we didn't realize we needed, with the babes in slings then picked up the boys had snacks and coffee (bought the boys triple choc muffins but strangely the didn't want them so we had to eat them). Then the boys had a melt down at the check outs and my friends ds started hitting and poking my ds1 so lots of tears etc. Poor ds2 had a melt down in the car home, I think if he could talk he would have said "Mother! I have frankly had enough. You drag me out of bed this morning at what I'm quite sure was 7.50am, you mumbled something about BST but who knows with you. Then after dropping large sibling at the place with all the other large children you swan off for coffee then home again, then place with the large children to get large sibling. Then home again, then just as I'm getting comfortable we are off again to some godforsaken place with n

Well my Mum has burst my bubble . She and DH had (I thought) agreed to share one night a week so I could get some sleep. Turns out today that she has volunteered ME to share with HER this week so that DH can get some sleep ???!!!!

So when am I supposed to get some bloody sleep? Am so angry I don't know where to start.

Oops I cut him off. Anyway where was he oh yes "...with no windows that frankly smelt of off meat balls and salmon! I have officially had a gut full and now I'm going to zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"

Poor little man I do drag him arounda bit too much sometimes. We will have a morning in tomorrow I think.

That is sad about your brother PMK I don't know how someone could meet someone who could mean more than their children. How is your brother. Maybe I could introduce him to my SIL she has my 4 nieces though they are nearly all teenagers now, she is really lovely and deserved better than how my brother has treated her. They could have a Brady bunch family.

JB that golden age sound interesting I must say I think I would rather mine to be in the teen years, imagine peaking when they are babies, and then all downhill from there.

DH is on his way to Wales after a meeting today in London. I have barely spoken to him all day, I'm dying to tell him about all the unnecessary useful things I bought in ikea today.

Verso I am really annoyed on your behalf. Why on earth does your mum think your DH needs sleep? I think I would have gone mad. I hope you are ok. Thinking of you. Have some

Oh and Arti you make me laugh with the JJ DH thing. Glad your DD took the bottle though I might be being sensitive but I get a bit grumpy at the perception that formula is somehow real milk or more filling than BF. It has no more calories that are needed than BF, and doesn't fill them up any more than BF. The only difference is BF is more quickly absorbed so leave the stomach quicker than formula. It is a little harder for little bodies to break formula down so that is the only reason that they may seem to be more filled up by it. Sorry for the rant. But I am truely happy that you now have feeding options I know what it's like to have one that wont take the bottle.

Oh and SL the reason that under ones should have milk is because the sensitivity to milk protein that it causes can also break down the isle of langerhans in the pancreas therefore often increasing the risk of developing diabetes. So tell you MIL that scientific fact (ie tell her to stick that in her pipe and smoke it)

Right ds2 asleep time for ds1.

Verso WTF!!!!! Is she thick or just truely cruel!!!!

Oh and JB glad you little one is ok. That moment when it happens is so horrible and very upsetting. Are you ok?

Thanks peeps, you are all very kind. Good to know that your older LOs have survived bumps ros and effie. Golly it was horrible. I've been clinging onto her very tightly today. It was such a simple thing. She was nestling in the crook of my knee (my ankle on top of my opposite knee IYKWIM), and I took both hands off her to take the top of the bottle and she jerked forward and tipped onto the table.

I made notes when I read the thread earlier but I'm having trouble reading my writing... Mmm.

JJ Sorry to hear things are rough at the moment. I understand completely what you mean about not wanting to put your DD to bed until your DH gets home. I hate doing it. That said, we had a talk about sleep at a post-natal group I go to, and the special sleep problem HV was saying that a child probably appreciates sleep more than seeing their Dad. It sounds harsh, and I'm sure your DD loves him to bits but I think we all agree that when a baby get overtired they aren't much fun to be around. So DD now goes to bed between 6 and 7 (even if DH isn't home) and even if she doesn't seem tired at the start of the routine, bath, massage, bottle - she is usually v sleepy by the end.

verso I chuckled at the idea of hoovering ourside your DD's door when she's a teenager .

SL at your MIL and the cheese. That's a choking hazard as well as a total no-no. I've written something else and I can't understand it, damn my writing.

spot What great news about your sister. It reminds me of how nerve racking early pregnancy is, wasn't it just awful? Fingers crossed everything goes swimmingly for her.

Anyone seen 'Mall Cop'? It's the newbie film for tomorrow and it looks rubbish.

That was slow typing, cross posted with you all there.

verso Honestly, that is crazy talk from your mother. Tell her straight that your DH sleeps every night and it is YOU that is knackered from night wakings.

veggie LOL at your DS's 'thoughts'. It is funny to imagine what they are thinking! DD often pulls very thoughtful faces and I wonder what is going on in there.

It was someone else who posted re the golden age veggie but agree that I hope it isn't downhill from now too.

Have to go as DH wants the laptop. He dropped and broke ours (this is my work one), so it is his own fault. I'm tempted to make him wait longer but I'm too nice!

Am still trying to catch up, think I never will but...

verso on your behalf. Who the hell does she think is doing all the work and is on her kness almost.

jolly glad you lo is ok.

Saw the wife of DH's friend who had the affair today. Apparently he had already taken his eldest two DD's to meet the other woman She said she was coping okay with it till that point and now she knows this she is just so angry with him she is questioning how well she ever really knew him. LadyT I love your opinions on relationships, you are indeed V wise.

JB, I have smacked both DDs' heads on the door frame when they were little - DS's turn soon. He has already landed on his head when DD1 tipped him out of his carseat onto the floor while I was sorting out DD2. He's fine. Glad your baby is OK. A and E have seen it all before, and worse. It's when they know you by name that you need to worry. A friend has 3 boys under 4 and they are always in there....

Thanks for all the kind words. I LOVE this thread and am feeling much more chipper, if a bit nauseous. Glass of wine beckons - it aint called cheerfulness for nothing.

Spot, huge congratulations and good wishes to your sister. What lovely news.

Verso, I could lamp your mother sometimes, honestly. I'll come and do a night for you darling. M and F can look at each other, I'll be on lullaby duty and you can kip. Job done. Just leave me a bottle (of milk).

Veggie, I am slightly envious of the ikea trip. WHat did you get ? I always buy a few light bits and spend loads! The creche is great but can be a little fetid and meatbally.

LadyT, you are indeed wise but not old. I think I am the oldest who is on regularly (am going to be FFFFFforty in Sept), but alas I don't have the wisdom yet. I'd love a suggestion of something to read. Must admit, I'm a bit hello-tastic in terms o reading at th emoment, as my concentration is a bit shot. I love biographies and music books though, as well as novels.

So sorry to hear all the stories of separation etc. I am just getting to the age where it is happening around me quite a bit and it makes one feel vulnerable in some ways and very lucky in others.

Effie, did you know wearing clothes inside out is supposed to be very good luck? Buy a lottery ticket or at least a scratchcard!

Good to see you Hatty! I know what you mean about jealous siblings. My DD2 goes loopy when I pick M up, which os not good. She spent a lot of time in her bouncy chair as a baby and is now very jolly and sociable (except where he is concerned). Juggling the demands of assorted children is difficult, I agree.

Must go - M crying. My ample bosom beckons. I noticed today that I have a mono boob like the queen at the moment. Mmm, resembling an 82 year old mother of 4 was not a look I was aspiring to.....

Or even "a look to which I was aspiring"

Oh dear JB, laptop wars! Tensions were much smoothed here once DH replaced his desktop.

Verso: words fail me. Really. What does she think you are doing, dancing the can-can to stop your DH from sleeping at night?

I didn't know that about clothes, Sybs. Will buy lottery ticket tomorrow! If I win squillions you can have a cut .