JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

aw amber no words but loads of sympathy as know what you mean re working. I do hope sleep guru helps.

and of course we'll come play .

Amber I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time with sleep. I hope the sleep guru can help.

x

Amber - sympathies . Only suggestion rather than resigning is to ask for a period of unpaid parental leave. My employer will consider such requests, what about yours?

Essie feeling smug that she doesn't light up over Iestyn has reminded me of a similar moment a few weeks ago. I was in a big shopping centre in glorious Woking feeling a bit self-consious because I was BF P (he is so big that people think he is well over a year old, so was wondering if I would attract any negative comments, luckily I didn't). Anyway, as I sat outside the ladies loos this woman was struggling with her toddler, and she intentionally rammed him with the buggy into the wall . Not hard enough to hurt him or knock him over but it was definitely deliberate and she had definitely lost her self control.

Reread my previous post and have realized that so have see weird typos in there. Sorry - the iPod have some strange predictive text and I forgot to proof read.

even more typos in that post too. Better get to bed.

Just lost my post!

Amber really feel for you, and I really hope the sleep guru works. It's exactly what I would do - and Tim too, I told him, and he said he would get a sleep expert in even if it cost thousands; we would go without, dunno, food! And I know what you mean about work - I live for my work (yes, yes, I have a baby, he's wonderful, I would die for him, but that's a given, right?) and I'm antsy this week because I can't do any. (Luckily I'm going to the BL tomorrow - yay! How sad?!) Is resigning really the way? Who suggested parental leave, until the sleep situation is better? (Ali - good suggestion.) Also, and I know you're all going to have a freak out and hate me now, but can you claim PND at all? I know there are women really suffering with PND, but you can get a mild case, and it won't go down on your record for ever as it's definitely pg related. Thing is, if you resign, and don't get anything else for a while, would you be sort of resentful? I know I would be, much as I love Iestyn; there would always be a bit of me thinking 'previously, I was this, and now I'm doing nappies and baby sick with my D.Phil Oxon'. But I'm that kind of selfish woman!
We will talk more about this on Monday.

I don't like these bunny ears and I'm not using them any more. I'm really sick in the head, because they look like willies to me.

Hi all - haven't had time yet to catch up, but amber sending many sympathies over the sleep situation.

I was wondering if we were the only ones still having such a hard time with sleep. Alexander is still sleeping like a newborn . Our nights are something like this:

• 7.30/8 in cot, goes to sleep ok usually
• around 9 wakes up, will go to sleep with dummy
• wakes up at 11.30, refusing to go back to sleep in cot. We cave in and put him in our bed
• wakes up 2 or 3 times more before the morning

He can't be hungry, is still on 4 full bottles and 3 full meals a day. Am getting to the end of my tether with it all, as I'm getting up at 6am each morning to go to work!!

essie - slightly disturbed that the bunnies look like willies to you.

Amber - like Essie, I was wondering whether you could get yourself signed off work, if parental leave isn't an option. From what you have said about your employer it sounds like they are keen to embrace family friendly working (or at least be seen to embrace them), so if you present the request in the right way "my son has a sleep disorder", you might be in with a shout. From what you have said in the past, resigning to be a SAHM would not be a good option, and would make you miserable especially if once the sleep problems were resolved you didn't find an equvalent alternative.

Amber- send big hugs. I can see why stopping work is the best solution, but think that Ali and Essie make excellent points.

Hugs to allnew too.

I'm off- back next week.

Amber, you poor thing - I really can't imagine how you've managed to hold down a ft job and cope with the sleep deprivation for this long anyway, but like you say it can't go on .

Hope that Ali's suggestion is a possibility cos I agree with Essie that giving up work completely may not be the answer. Could you get a live in nanny or is that not practical either? Really feel for you.

Allnew, sympathies to you too. Now I feel like a wuss for being a bit annoyed when A wakes at 6.30am instead of 7am .

Essie, I am also disturbed about the ears/willies connection - if that's what the willies you have seen look like, I would get your men folk down to the doctors right away!!

P&P, good luck with your op.

oh god get sponge away from willy talk or she'll post links to pics of willies that look just like essie's bunny ears

oh dear, I'm getting myself a reputation!

Amber, oh hugs!!! I almost put your name in block capitals because I was so upset for you! I really really feel for you and have my fingers crossed that the sleep specialist can help. I know to some extent how horrible sleep deprivation can be as we had a really crap time with DS1, but I don't think it was quite as bad as what you're going through. I do clearly remember sneaking down to the first aid room for a nap though.

Is there any chance your work would give you an unpaid leave of absence for a few months? Or is that not realistic? I know it may be a long shot when you're not in a government job like I am (crap pay has some benefits). I hate the idea of you having to quit if you don't want to, I really do! It would have made me really miserable after DS1 to not go back.

Could you book yourself into a hotel for a week and leave your DP to struggle with Luke? Is your DP as tired as you? If not - I'd do it. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. I know it might seem like they can't cope without you, but I'm sure it's only partially true (the first time I left DH in charge he put DS1 to bed without his growbag - poor wee mite was freezing when I got home! but they survived and it was a good experience for DH to learn to be the primary parent).

Essie have fun at the BL - my parents are going today too - they left this morning for London and it's on their short list of places to visit. I must have been destined to be a geek.

Fraser was up three times last night, I'm glad I've still got a few more weeks before I'm back at work....

And I'm not going to use bunnies anymore after hearing Essie's opinion .

Sounds like you need sleep sympathies too Allnew . Our sleep situation is much better than it was but has regressed this week. I am worried that we are going to be back with worse than newborn sleeping imminently.

LOL Sponge re the bunnies. I had typed something similar myself, but deleted it as didn't want to insult a barrister

Everyone - thanks so much for all the support. I really don't want to give up and my boss even said to me today that maybe I should get myself signed off sick for a couple of weeks if that's what it takes so that is an option. I will look into the unpaid leave of absence idea - great suggestion. Grrrr - my son is wonderful in every way other than this. It's getting even worse now and I only had 2 stretches of 2 hours last night. I'm so glad it's Easter and i'll get a break. The sleep consultant said it might be an emotional problem due to his traumatic birth i do hope it's not too mumbo jumbo.

Allnew - you have all my sympathy - perhaps you and I should sod off to a health spa for a week!

amberc think sleep person might have a point - have read/heard lots about stress and sleep issues (FWIW you can see it in dss even now so might well be something in it).

and I absolutely don't think giving up work would be a fix as that is sure to send you more down given all you've said/been through so think ali's suggsestion a good one.

Amber yes, get signed off sick! That's a really good idea - and keep Luke in nursery so you can actually rest. Of course Luke is wonderful, and one day he will either sleep, or play on his own without waking you. It's just this age that's so tough.

My osteopath is a strong believer in the impact of traumatic birth - she was concerned about DS1. Maybe your sleep specialist can recommend some options for you.

allnew sorry to miss your post earlier - hugs to you too - I hope you're coping okay!

Thanks all for your support

amber, that idea sounds like bliss!. That's interesting about the traumatic birth, as A also had a difficult birth (forceps, broken collar bone, pneumothorax, in SBU). Do tell more on what the sleep consultant does please! Agree with what others say on the work front, and it sounds like you boss will be supportive

Amber, I can definitely recommend an osteopath - we took Theo when he was 7wks old and he was like a different baby afterwards. He was a forceps delivery. Luke might have a really bad headache or something like that. I think definitely try to get signed off rather than resigning. I still don't get the burning need to work though, for me babies are such a good excuse to not work! .

Allnew, gosh sounds like A could do with a trip to the osteo as well. I went to one in central manchester www.fpo.org.uk/, near Ancoats, they were great. It was £30 a session (which was a donation, they accept whatever you can afford to pay as they are a charity but they suggest £30) and he only needed two sessions.

After two nights of broken sleep my two slept through last night, and we were at my mum's so double bonus. They are eating better now, they did have that bug last week and haven't been eating well and my mum says when they start to get better they get hungry before they actually start to eat more which explains the night waking. Filled them up with potato, parsnip and apple with cod plus Oatibix of course.

Feeling very envious of all the babies walking with their walkers, I have just made Esther stand with hers and she walked with it!! Previously I just stood it up against the wall cos it was too fast for her. She is doing much better than T in that respect. He is only just pulling himself up to standing. Sponge, my mum has a walker at her house very similar to the one in A's video, which we learned to walk with when we were kids. Do I win though cos my dad actually made it

neenz thanks's for that recommendation, I might well do that. There must be some reason he keeps waking up!

Hi, have been reading to keep up, but not much chance to post. My mum is currently letting B sleep on her, so I have a few minutes!

Allnew, I could have written exactly the same post about B's sleep, to the minute. I don't think B had a particularly traumatic birth though - although it was an induction, and he was born very quickly. He needed a bit of help, as I'd had morphine not long before and he was blue (well, purple actually), but apart from that, nothing.

Ohhh, he's woken up... Will try and get back later. In the meantime, Amber, I do hope you can find a solution that works for all of you.

Hiya Whinegums, been wondering where you were

According to askmoxie.com, sleep regressions occur at weeks 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46, and 55. I think many of us are around the 46 week mark - especially for those having a really rough time of it!.

The Wonder Weeks iirc!