The one where they put their best feet forward

[Soph73]

There you go Ellie

We have separate accounts; we got into Big Trouble a few years back, cleared it all but Dh thinks I would spend his money and I (through having kept the family purse for a while) know he wuld waste all ours.

We got Harry's Enfamil Lactofree rpescribed but never have had the soya free- sadly. Enfamil lactofree was lovely, and we got that for 3 years.

Just tried some Polish Strawberry Dumplings for dinner (for teh boys really- we have a takeaway alter). Erm, won't be doing taht again! Blubbery bolid pulp that was once shown a piece of fruit, anyone? I ahd toa dd sugar to gat a taste for the boys!

On a better note got Tara ramseys cookbook for £7.50 in Smiths- only £2.50 than the Junior mag I was looking at and far less bizarre designer clothng LOL!

Well, I feel slightly better knowing I'm not the only one who lets things get away every so often. Actually, I was being extremely careful this month but still managed to get pinged for charges I wasn't expecting which pushed me over budget.
I think we've just gotten a bit lazy as between us we'd had enough not to have to think too hard about it, we don't have extravagant lifestyles so had enough to cover it. Now the extra cost of childcare and reduced income means we need to think about it all again and see whether changes need to be made.
Scorpio, I think a couple of months of your level of record-keeping/budgeting is what we need. It's made a bit more complicated by the fact that we each have own accounts plus a joint one that we both contribute to for household expenses. Think we might need to review that as well. Hey ho. We've given up for the day and will continue tomorrow. No decision re Wedding yet.

Ellie, I think we did gradual withdrawal for about 8 nights. Benedict first had to be taught that he didn't need to feed to sleep, so we agreed that we'd cuddle but not feed. DP ended up having to do most of that because he got very upset at me refusing to feed him. That took about 3-4 nights, then we had about 3 nights of not getting him out of cot but working pretty hard to calm him and coax him back to lying down.
Then a couple of nights when we just had to push him gently down and he'd snuffle and turn over.
Good luck with it. Also - hope you can bring your DH around to helping, any chance you can have another conversation about it with him or is it completely off-limits?

I think it may be easier for us, because i have always lived off DHs money always been a SAHM, so not lots of accounts or decreases due to maternity leave.

We had separate accounts until we had ds1, then found it impossible to manage unless we pooled everything.
Also dh earns a lot more than me which is a good incentive for me to pool everything!

Just popped in to say hello

Denny! How are you? Was talking to sheds on FB the other day and we were saying it must be nearly time for another meetup...

Denny!!!! Where have you been, lady!

We have separate accounts, mine has CB/CTC, DP's has his wages and we both have certain things we have to pay for. We prefer it that way so that we both have our 'own' spare money too iyswim. Although we will use each others accounts if one has more money 'spare'.

I think I may have a feather allergy? DP changed the quilt for a feather one a few days ago and the last couple of days I have woken up dry mouthed, really clatty throat, like a terrible cold, but by about an hour of getting up it's gone.

come see my baby walk

OK its only a few seconds LOL but heck, I like it

Awwww!!!!!!
I just watched it three times (and made DP watch it too)

Well (as you can see from my facebook page- spot the Halo pmsl) he is a little angel!

Peachy!!! Just made dh watch it too!

Hi Denny! Great to see you again. How are you?

We both have separate accounts too, and pay for different things (e.g. I'll do childcare, dh mortgage etc etc). I know it makes sense to pool, but I just can't - found it really, really hard to be dependent on "dh's" (yes, I know it's not really, just couldn't get my head around it) money when I didn't work. When needed, I had him transfer money to "my" account then. I think if I ever stop working again properly, I should just go cold turkey and not have an account (or one that I use anyway) for a couple of months. Like scorpio, I think it's just because this is what I've been used to ever since I've finished my studies.

The one thing I really don't like about one account is presents. If I buy DP a present for Xmas/Birthday or whatever I want ti to be from 'my' money, not ours or it feels like he bought it himself

I hate dependency too- I tget carers allowance and the boys DLA paid into mine to manage and dh pays for bills etc and gets the WTC (not insignificant when you have disabled kids- you get a premium, the DLA is for them the premium for your costs iyswim) and CB into his.

VS- that's what Mum says too: she has barely worked since I was born and Dad always whinges 'what did I get myself this year trhen?' at birthdays (but whinges mroe when she's at work- he works shifts atm and likes to have her about when he is there, you'd think after 40 years he'd be OK with it LOL- they're retirement age now anyway)

I don't feel like im dependant on him at all - i do my own 'work', he has his. Thus money is shared .

Oh of course - I don't actually mean it is "his" - hell, I think it's more the sahm's than anyone elses - I work really, really hard at work, really stressful, yet I think I found working at home harder! It's just that I've always had "my own" money coming in, so the idea of money from "his" job, even if I were enabling him to earn by being at home iyswim, takes a bit getting used to.

Am hoping that once I'm at home longer one day I would come to grips with it too - poor dh made a big effort to let me understand this (he also thinks that being at home is the most responsible and probably hardest job), it's just me that had problems adjusting.

I have NO money of my own atm, DH's wages go into the joint account and everything gets paid out of that. I had a strop the other night because I was fed up of having no money to spend on 'just because I want it's.
I've been looking for a nanny job where I can take G with me. I don't want to have to pay someone else to look after my baby while I go to look after someone else's! But there's nothing at sll out there. I even had a uick look to see if any of the supermarkets had any evening shelf stacking type things, but again, nothing. Also, do I really want to be out stacking shelves after I've had a busy boy to look after all day?

I know most mummies would prefer to stay home and look after their DC instead of going out to work, but I had in mind right from before G was even conceived that I 'd be able to take him to work with me, so I'd be very upset to have to leave him with someone else.

Knitter, I've been wondering how you would be affected. I think (which is why I wondered if it would be the same for you) that nannyshares saw a big increase in popularity as a lot of people just can't afford sole charge nannies as easily as before. Do you advertise as "alternative nannyshare" type?

If I were to look at nannyshare (I went through this whole process in my head a couple of weeks ago when R was ill etc), my reaction to "sharing with the nanny" would be:
positive - it would be one less family's annual leave to have to worry about
negative - i would worry (but this can be resolved by meeting the nanny, but if I'm honest, would wonder about it if I don't know the nanny) that the nanny would give more attention to their own baby than to mine

So when advertising, I'd stress the benefit of not having to cover 3 families' annual leave, yet saving on a sole nanny.

Good luck.

Well we have separate bank accounts and pay half/half for everything. I saved up for my year off cos DH gets paid in buttons and couldn't support 2 extra people. He's had to a bit last few months cos the money ran out but not for much longer thank goodness - I earn way more than him so I will be paying Molly's nursery fees as well as half rent and bills etc. So will be completely brassic even when back to work but that's the way it goes....

Hey Denny!

knitter - sounds lovely to take G to work with you - would imagine you will find a place like that as like you say, seems silly to look after someone else's kids and pay someone to look after yours doesn't it? Tell you what, move over here to look after Mol and then they can play together! Is a bit of a long commute but sure you can manage

can't look at Bas walking cos stupid 'puter too slow

Hi sal

Meant to say - all out the window with sleep training last night - Molly got yucky cold and didn't eat yesterday so woke up hungry and full of snot and miserable in the night about a million times - so just had to bite the bullet and feed and cuddle her as much as needed - will start again when she's feeling better.

Today she will only eat scrambled egg and just wants to sit next to me watching In the Night Garden poor little thing. Has gone down for a nap now so really should do some jobs....

I thought that would be the case, but it seems that people can either afford a 'whole' nanny, or are using childminders and nurseries because they're cheaper still. The giving more attention to my baby than the other thing hadn't crossed my mind really, because I'm so used to looking after more than one at a time, I'm used to splitting the attention to who needs it most at the time. Thanks for pointing that out! (If anything, I think the other child would get more attention, at least to start with, because I know G and how he handles things, snd I'd be getting to know the other baby and earning its trust.)

Right, off to asda now. How (un)exciting!

Poor little Molly. Sometimes wish there was a switch you could, well, switch, to take the colds/cramps/teething etc for them. Not because I can deal with it better mind you, but there are stronger drugs for me, you know Hope she's feeling better soon and that you survive a full day of In the Night Garden! (Mind you, I kind of miss CBeebees now that I'm not around much ) If you ever repeat this in front of dh, I might need to kill you deny all knowledge, though.

Knitter, didn't realise that'll be the case. I would just try and put the best possible advertisement together - list specific benefits (even if it is known, it might just catch someone's attention that might otherwise have gone done the cm/nursery route and can't afford whole nanny). Also, compared to childminders/nurseries, you could take them to activities (e.g. specific classes). Hmm, what else - ok, selling it to otherwise "whole nanny people" - what about the benefit of socialising? Oh I don't know, am a bit rubbish with this. Will post more if I can think of something. Good luck.