The one where they put their best feet forward

[Soph73]

There you go Ellie

He refused again last night, and this morning. I expressed this morning after refusal, didn't get an awful lot out, just a couple of ounces. Gave it to him in a cup with his breakfast, he had a bit, then next sip he pulled a face and gagged (!) then refused any more, but would happily have water from a different cup. Feeling a bit teary about it all this morning now.

I know he's growing up, but hoped he'd 'want' me for a while yet. The bf was the only thing left that's just me and him, iyswim.

Hey knitter - no advice, but some hugs to you x

Knitter the important thing is not to let George feel any tension surrounding BF (easier said than done I know!!)
When Panda did it I found the easiest way to get him feeding again was to cheat and offer him it when he was pretty much asleep
Try spending some time together doing skin to skin, maybe bath together and then have a play and cuddle on your bed.

I tried again last night when he was half asleep, and it just made him shout again! Good idea about the bath. Thankyou!

Sorry Knitter i didn't mean it that way at all, I am very sad for you iyswim.

VS - i know

Knitter, I'd second the bathing thing. It's been months and months since R stopped bf-ing, yet he still looks at my breast (well, I have two, but he only focuses on one obv ) with that far off expression in the bath sometimes, and you can just see he remembers something, then he'll put his mouth around my nipple. (Well, at that stage I normally try and distract him trying my best not to be obvious as he bites the hell out of me, but that's just because he never bf with teeth and it's been a while.)

I normally have a nice "normal" bath, then adds cold water until it's ready for him, and then dh will bring him over, and he'll have a bath with me. He'll lie on my tummy while looking at me and "chatting", and it's when we're this close (as in skin-to-skin, mother-baby-smell kinda thing and breasts in front of him) that he does this, so it might just work really well for you. Fingers crossed.

Went to a NCT nearly new sale yesterday and bought 4 bags of toys for about £30! Our place is resembling a toy store more and more by the second, but R seems to be overjoyed.

Knitter, you're not pg are you? Hunker's ds1 went off her milk when she was pg with her ds2 IIRC.

oooooo theres a thought. Im free on the 25th but will have 2 of them in tow and believe me you dont want DS in your house at the mo as he's doing a v good impression of demolition man. So soft play sounds good, how bout I drop DD1 at school and meet u there say 10ish and then we can stop 4 lunch? Ill email sheds.

cm, it would literally be a miracle if I was pg. Stupid diabetes has made me not want to = haven't had sex since DS was born. Yes, a year. So def not pg. (Sorry if TMI)

Sounds perfect Denny, I'll email you and sheds a link to where it is.

Ellie, more info needed re your back.

• where is pain, how frequent, type of pain
• does it have a daily pattern ie worse every am.
• what type of activities makes it worse and how long does it make it worse for, you mentioned changing nappies on the bed, r u bent over or is your back straight and how long does it make your pain worse after.
• r there any activities/positions that will help your pain and how quickly do they help.
• Is it worse is you cough or sneeze.
• Do you have any other symptoms, pins and needles, numbness, problems with bladder/bowel etc.

Generally back pain is related to something you do on a reg basis that the system just dosent like, on the whole this tends to be crap posture and repeted bending activities. If this sounds familiar try limiting flexion of the spine 4 a while, bend knees to get down to floor etc and every time you sit down try and ensure your weight is equally distributed left to right and keep a small curve in the small of your back, if you find it difficult to hold this then roll a towel up and place in the small of your back.
You could also try laying on your stomach for a bit whilst your playing with Molly to stretch your back in a diff direction 4 a while.
Also whilst your doing your pelvic floor exercises (which Im sure you all do) you can include your lower abdominals which help to support the back. Think of your stomach from pubic bones to belly button and then think of yourself in a bikini and on a beach - imagining it yet. Now the hardest part think fit bloke coming to talk to you, you now have to pull your tummy in just using your muscles not by breathing in as you will need to talk to him for 5 mins. Try and repeat this for as near to 5 mins as you can 4-5 times a day. Once you are used to activating them you can also tighten up during any strenuous activities, like lifting Molly.

Cant be bothered to read through b4 posting so hope this makes sense.

Not TMI knitter, does it bother you?

Yes, it does. Because I don't feel 'normal'.

Is it because your diabetes is not controlled or is it a common symptom?

Denny, your description of pelvic floor exercises is the best I've ever heard, lol. Might even be good enough to shame me into starting continuing. Can't remember if I ever said thank you properly for your advice the other day, but I've listened and have been getting up at lunch and stretching at night, and my back actually feels a lot better. So thank you very much.

Knitter, sorry to hear you're feeling so down about, uhm, it. Not sure if this'll help or not (in which case, sorry - I really don't think I do this social thing very well...), but I don't have any "medical" reason and it would be a really huge miracle if an extra line were to appear on this side too... So maybe it's not just the diabetes? Tiredness probably doesn't help for feeling all flirty and overexcited.

I make my patients laugh with that one too Sal, even the little old ladies get the same description as we can all relate to it. Men get the farting one, mars and venus and all that.

Lol Denny.

It took us a very long time to get back to having sex after ds1. Think it might have been a year
For me it was the combination of shock at how muc my body had been ravaged, the C-section scar, the stretch marks, the extra weight which I couldn't shift, the tummy I couldn't flatten and sheer exhaustion, sleepness nights. I found bfing affected my libido a lot as well although not this time for some reason!
Anyhow, as you can see by my profile things did improve. We have had sex at least 3 times since then!

Ive just been watching skating on ice while doing my ironing (am I the only sado, or is anyone else watching it) and Holly Willowby's breasts are just enormous, she must have some scaffolding underneath holding them up.

hello (echo's bouncing from the walls in the empty room), well seeing as u all have better things to do i shall be off, night all.

Sorry Denny, was trying to order weekly shop at Ocado as has a discount voucher, but after adding all I need (which took me HOURS), I realised - well, it told me when I tried checking out - that the voucher is linked to another account (dh's login), so I have to start from scratch. Stuff it, will do Tesco shop tomorrow night!

Am off now too - good night everybody.

Love the idea of skating with scaffolding!
knitter, What about your period? A friend's baby completely refused to feed for several days before her period, then went back to normal. Very disturbing while it was happening, I feel for you Oh in the bedroom department for ages I didn't want to - and felt bad that I didn't want it - I just didn't have the urge but also it felt a bit like my nerves didn't work properly, like I just felt a bit dulled, libido just not there. For me, it took losing the night feeds - maybe a switch in hormone levels helped? , and also talked to DP about it and stopped being hung up about it and made a joke. It just worked and very suddenly it felt like I'd been 'woken up' again. We're not rampant, but it feels like it's part of our life again - ie. we both want to, even if we aren't that much iyswim.

Denny, can I ask your opinion about my pain then ...it's a pain in the mornings. It hurts from about the bottom of my ribs down and around to my hips - worse if i've been sleeping on my back, getting curled up on my side seems to help but it's as though a night's sleep is the worse thing for my back. I'm fine during the day except for my knees, which are like old lady knees and hurt after sitting flexed in one position for any length of time (cinema etc is agony)

back pain that is. Not the pain lying next to me in the bed..he can be a pain in the mornings too, but makes up for it by making me nice puddings.

I love you lot, you'll talk about anything

I don't think the bfing is down to my period, as I've had 3 or 4 already and am prob mid cycle now, and it didn't make a difference before.
I'm feeling less and less teary about it as time goes on, although I did have a cry last night when he pushed me away at bedtime. Little monkey, does he not know what I went through to get him to bf in the first place?! I'm starting to wonder if I only want him to carry on for me, and if he's just had enough not to push it. What if I carry on and carry on trying and he starts again reluctantly and then I can't stop him later on?

VS, do you know how long it is before it stops being a nursing strike and starts being that he's finished?

I know that having a baby and everything that goes with it reduces libido, but mine started to disappear a good few years ago really. It started off with on & off periods, but then just didn't come back. I spoke to the dr about it, and she said that because diabetic men can have erectile problems, she didn't see any reason why it shouldn't be the same for women. I can honestly say that I'd be more than happy to never have sex again. In the last few years I never really enjoyed it like I did when I was younger anyway, s'not fair!

'Lo all

Thanks for advice Denny - you win a prize for being most useful person on the thread I think! My pain is in upper back mostly I think, at least when bending over her whilst changing, but that goes, but do have a bit of a constant ache there at times, and lower back too.
Went to doc on fri cos despite kegels the old pelvic floor is not what it used to be. Discovered this when starting new running regime - and realised unless was very, very carful I leaked a bit. Horrid. So have referral to the pelvic floor incontinence physio . Doc thinks might be because I tore quite badly.

knitter - our sex life is pretty rubbish at the moment too. I enjoy it when we get round to it, but is not the same. With my ex I hardly ever wanted to have sex, libido non-existent. I think I get very affected by stress etc in this way - the moment I have any pressure at all libido = ziltch. Ex used to be horrid horrid about it too - used to really pressure me to have sex with him even though he knew I didn't want to which made it much worse til I was practically phobic about it. With DH now there is no pressure at all, so we do it much more as I don't feel stressed. But right after having a baby - don't think many people are at it like bunnies. My Mum said to me the other day that it was a wonder they ever conceived me after having my sis!
How is your DH about it? Is he understanding?