December 08 Supermums: We are all doing fine and our LOs love us!!

[kayzr]

Hello.

Trace I went with your idea!!

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meet up on tues 17th so VG can make it - link here

cat - like turnip we use white noise all night long (getting addicted ourselves) - and i unleash from swaddle for feeding during the night so dd gets a bit of a break. getting her reswaddled isn't too much of a problem afterwards.

i don't think they suffer mobility probs - swaddling's been used for centuries, but i know where you're coming from. i have to cut down on blankets, though - i think she can get a bit overheated.

WG: there are sleep consultants in London, you have to pay tho and I'm not convinced their advice is worth the money. If you've read up a bit on sleep patterns and so on you'll prb know what they're going to say . Have prob said this before but the only helpful book I found when going through sleep-deprivation hell with DS1 was the No Cry Sleep Solution by Eilzabeth Pantley. Most of her ideas didn't work either but she made me feel better!

Evening all. The sleep clinic is at the local sure start centre, which is great and has lots of groups for families etc. I was advised to try and get dd out of the habit of only being able to sleep in the sling or if I'm pushing her - did manage to get her off on her own once during the day but only once. She didn't really tell me how to achieve this, just that I shouldn't get her into a bad habit. But she's so tiny, I did feel a bit protective of her when I got home and let her have a sleep on my chest [mother hen]

She does now settle herself (sort of!) when first put down at night, she'd swaddled up, full tummy, read a story and then the baby monitor plays Twinkle twinkle little bat to her for about 15 mins. BUT it really helps that for about a week now she's been able to reliably find her hand and suck on that - we don't have to sit with her for an hour with the little finger in gob method. We also have the elizabeth pantley book as it's the only one that says yes, you can carry on co-sleeping/ bfing at night and get your baby to sleep through. It's in tune with my general lentil weavery approach to parenting...

jam really sorry about your dh's job, hopefully he'll be able to find something soon but meanwhile fingers crossed for you.

WG/ majormoo what great MIL stories but major your poor dd, hope you told her how fabby her forward rolls are. Latest from my MIL - she was talking to one of my best friends (and one off dd's godmothers) at the christening and apparently the reason dd was having trouble getting to sleep was not that she was 7 weeks old but because we had a home birth - she said when she had dh and his siblings, they kept you in hospital for a week so the nurses could teach the babies to sleep through the night.

verso hon hope you're getting a bit more support, and had a good lunch with Sybil.

zj love that joke

I don't worry about swaddling. Have swaddled my other two and they don't have mobility problems. If you swaddle them til 18 maybe .

Just bookmarking myself and also WG to tell you the Dim Sum place is called Harbour city in china town it's right near the eastern gate. They do dim sum on a Saturday and sunday from midday. Also have you tried Ping Pong they have a few restaurant around London and an all you can eat on a Sunday.

Right time to catch up.

OMG I have only gotten as far as MMs dodgy and downright evil in laws, I admire your self restraint. The hommous sounds nice by the way.

With MN doing this books I think they should do a classic in laws book.

Right I will plunge back in now.

Hi all I have been trying to post all arvo and eve and am only now getting a chance.

Thanks for your kind thoughts we are tryong to be optomistic about our situation and we are very lucky that the redundancy package is fairly good we can survive until the sutumn if he cant find a new job.

Just trying to remember what I have read throughout the day,

WG sorry had to have a little chuckle at your daughters nickname now meaning vagina vagina.

majormoo unbloodybelievable sodding PIL's.

The fires in Australia are awful words fail me.

LAdyT lovely to have you back again.

Trace hope oyur boob is feeling better now I was going to post it sounds like mastitis and then I saw Arti's post massage and hot compresses should help.

Jolly just read about your MIL mentalist behaviour

Oh and on the self settling front we have reached a bit of a breakthrough with L on settling the 90min thing works a treat during the day, and at night time I feed swaddle bit of a cuddle and then into the moses basket sleepy but awake and he has been bobbin goff on his own.

Right off to bed going to get DP to do dream feed seeing as he doesnt need to get up at the crack of dawn tom, see positive outcome of redundacy I can go to bed early.

Evenin' all,
So i have had a good day. went to 6 week check. All OK with DS, and I have been signed off to drive and exercise, hooray.
I popped off to do a supermarket shop at my enthusiasm at being able to drive, and discovered that supermarket shopping with a baby is very hard work! Haha, I hear you all laughing, as if I was stupid enough not to realise this. Yes, I was stupid enough not to realise this!! DS cried when I had him on the trolley car seat style thing, so I had to put him in the sling. And it felt like such hard work with him in there and pushing the trolley around. But at least I could leave the trolley places to nip and go get stuff, that must be annoying when you have a baby in it.
And it was so hard to get things out of trolley with him in the sling! I realised at the end that I was now one of those frazzled looking mothers that I have always felt sorry for in supermarkets.
However, Parent and Child parking is ACE!

Jam sorry about your DPs job that's very scary but well done for staying positive, will be nice to have him around and it's good to have a bit of breathing space, though would be great if he gets something soon so you can save the money.

Trace what Turnip said about what to do was all good, I would only ad when you put DD on for a feed get a really good latch with a wide open mouth and get her to have as long a feed as possible. If she is going short try to make her go a bit longer for the next feed, I sometimes manage to get ds2 to wait by using his dummy and kind of distracting him with playgym etc, it helps if dh is around, you need to get her having a long draining feed. It def sounds like a blocked duct and best to get sorted. I had to have one drained when bfing ds1 was quite annoying.

Right I really should go to bed a bit earlier tonight.

Jam am really sorry to hear about your DH. So hard - I don't know if this helps in any way but I was made redundant during dot com crash (in one of previous lives I was an internet baron) and even though I knew it was coming, knew it wasn't my fault, and had nothing to worry about other than where my next pair of shoes was coming from I found it really hard. Whatever the general circumstances I think it gets to that bit of you where you doubt yourself. So he'll probably need lots of telling how ace he is (my ex really not D H took an alternative tack and went out that night and then asked me to get his dry cleaning).

Am loving in-law stories - although major that is rubbish from your FIL. I can tell from here that your DD did a brilliant forward roll. What an idiot. We're staying with in-laws next week. Used to get on very well but has been a bit weird since DS was born - which makes me sad really so am trying to let madness wash over me in bid to improve things.

Arti. Self settling...occassionally. But tonight it took hairdryer, white noise, reggae and dancing about. She really loves reggae. A lot more than I do, anyway.

Loving the holiday chat. I'm trying to persuade DH that we could manage Seville in March. A bit tricky because I painted this horrible picture of travelling with the two of them in order to get out of trip I don't want to go on so am having to back track somewhat. Could really do with some sunshine.

Turnip am of your yoga. After DS was born I used to go to a lovely class at triyoga. Really does make you feel better.

JJ loving the idea of midwives teaching DCs to sleep. In general I've found most mental advice comes from people who had babies ages ago - and by same token most useful from those still sick-stained...with charitable hat on it's probably that you do forget a lot of it...uncharitably it's a freaking wonder any of us made it through childhood (if my mum had her way DD would be wearing 4 layers of wool and a hat indoors).

Am not going to be around much for next week or so - we're doing another grand tour of relatives. But will try to get online and catch up when I can. Take care of yourselves.

I love child and parent parking, feel so special.

Do you know SL with my first ds if he was in the pushchair or the trolley at the supermarket I would always have at least one hand on the pushchair/trolley at any one time, but with this one I just leave him and wander up and down the aisle getting my groceries, probably lucky I do most of my shop online, as I could end up in the news. Mother leaves baby in vegetarian frozen food section at Sainsbury's! Ok maybe it would be the frozen puddings section, but you get my drift.

Ds2 also had 6 week check and imms today, I was a bit confused as I thought the HV had done the 6 week check a couple if weeks ago? Well in was a short check anyway as HV had filled all the stuff in already.

Evening ladies!

Had a super busy day today! DS had his 6 week check today and everything seemed to be good. He's now 9lbs 7ozs! SO he's growing like a little weed! Also had my 6 week check up and have gotten to all clear.

DS settles himself for the most part. But I think part of it may be that we've been trying to keep him on a routine. Basically I feed/change him then try and keep him awake for a while and then put him down for a nap while he's awake. I think the timing usually lines up with the 90 minute theory you ladies were talking about earlier on the thread. Then at night I change him first and then feed/burp and then put him straight down afterwards. Sometimes he fusses but usually sorts himself out pretty quickly. If he gets really upset I check on him but try not to take him out of the cot.

turnip The yoga class sounds great! Would love to try and make it over that way. I need to figure out how far it is from my house.

jam sorry about your DH job. hope he can get something sorted soon

I love the parent and child parking too - I often used it when I was pregnant (well it was hard to get out of the car in a normal space being big!)

Major and Jolly unbelievable PIL behaviour!! Words fail me also.... I would kill mine if she let herself in!! She would got her key confiscated!

Well managed to get B down earlier by an hour tonight! Been biffy all day, and hadn't number 2-ed at all this afternoon and had painful wind I think so gave him a bath and although he had only fed an hour and a half earlier, he seemed hungry still so then he downed 5oz of EBM and then swaddled and out cold 2 seconds later! he is way more sleepy in the mornings and def must take after me or follow my pattern and then is awake in the evenings more. So, I must make a conscious effort to not go back to sleep after a 7-ish am feed as I think this will make the difference (well I know people say it doesn't but will try it anyway)

Swaddling - I hope it's ok as B is swaddled for about 7 hours at night and not undone! he seems ok though but must also sort out blankets as I never know how warm / cool he is but figuerd he must be ok as never seems boiling or freezing in the morning?

Veggie the Aust Embassy have already charged my bank account for the Citizenship certificate (today) They only received it Friday so i'm guessing it will be faster than the 10-15 days they quote! Oh also, no, I am only using disposable nappies unfortunately I'd go completely insane if I had to deal with trying to wash and dry all those in my flat. I do have a tumble drier, but I'm flat out keeping up with H's cycling gear every day. I'm a total neat freak and also like to have everything organised, so I think for my mental health I must use throw aways - however my friend swears by "Bum Genius"

Settling - Not often on his own during the day (unless it's after the first feed of the day - then usually does) but during the day he usually goes off in either the carrier or the car when I'm out, or, somtimes at home he gets rocked sitting in the vibrating bouncer. He has been known to though - but always has to have a full tummy.... At night he will if he is swaddled and full with clean nappy (he is particularly partial to those new Aloe Vera one's and seems happy until he wakes up in the morning

SL I know whqat you mean about the shops!! I have tried that at Tesco in the seat thing but he hates it so I often take the carseat in and just park it on top of the trolly - or i use my papoose carrier (which I prefer)
I am usuall one of those frazzled mothers at the checkout too - not knowing how to get the groceries out of the trolly with him strapped to me! And then they ask you if you are "ok with the packing" and I so badly want to say "no please help" but I resist and fumble through! the other week I shopped, and got to the checkout and realised I left my bag in the car!! {blush} Right at that point B had a meltdown and started screaming so fortunatly the checkout girl packed it for me while I went to the car with B!

Anyway, this has been massive posting for such a late hour! I am in bed, but must turn TV off in case B starts muttering and wakes!

Quick question before I do - I know sheepskins are dangerous for babies to sleep on, but didn't know the exact reason... is it because they are fluffy and if they roll over could be bad? or is it overheating? Wasn't sure - I wondered if it would be bad to put under a fitted sheet in a cot?

Morning. Hope all ok. Just briefly scanned the thread and about all I picked up was that jam has joined the ranks of those with husbands loitering around the house! My Uncle was made redundant and I think my Aunt is starting to get a bit fed up! My DH left his old job when DS was about 10 months old and he ended up with 3 months gardening leave which was lovely as it was all over Christmas. Very different though as it was voluntary and we knew there was a job at the end of it so it was like extended holiday. Much more worrying when it is redundancy.

Heidi is doing well. She is still sleeping quite well (although still early days as she is only 5 1/2 weeks old). She also feeds like a demon and has 'bottom wind' like an old bloke! Going to get her weighed today so will try to report back. Been so slack with catching up with you guys. Must Do Better!

kmp I think the thing with sheepskins is that it's recommended that babies sleep on a firm surface - or that it's not great if the sheepskin has been cured with nasty chemicals. Having said that though DS loved his sheepskin - I used to just put him on it on the floor on it for some of his naps and we've got one for DD too.

Parent and child parking rocks - but my top tip is not to get into a fight with people parking in the spaces who don't have children. Or maybe specifically not in the ASDA on the Old Kent Rd...

oh yeah I'd heard that too (about the firm thing) Haven't really used it except for during the day at short intervals he lies on it so hopefully ok!

Hello there!

Very sorry to hear about your DH's job, Jam. I really do hope that something comes along for him soon. Many of my friends are on the brink of redundancy, and it is an etremely worrying time for them all. Best wishes to you both.

Major, I am aghast at your ILs! I thought mine were odd but yours beat them hands down. What deeply unpleasant behaviour. Hope you have had a quiet word with DH. I find it difficult to criticise my ILs to my DH (god knows I try ) but sometimes I have to say something. For eg this Christmas MIL told DD1 (aged 3.5) that she should shut up as she was a whinge bucket! She does moan a fair amount TBH, although I can't htink where she would get that from ha ha, but there are things one just does not say. I do worry that in 30 years or so I may be a MIL and some poor woman will be posting about me and how awful I am. Oh dear.

Supercat, how was your night? Thinking o you.

Arti, I can put DS in his basket awake about 3/4 of the time. He will just gurgle, look at his hands or the cot toy and settle himself to sleep if he is tired. The rest of the time he does complain, but usually for a reason like more food or the most enormous burp/ fart brewing.

Happy birthday Zoe for yesterday, many congratulations on being 30. Those were the days

Turnip, very keen to hear about the yoga, sounds lovely, I'd love to do something like that but it's too far for me.

Well, the delightful Verso and I had a splendid lunch on Monday in the rain, with wine and pudding a plenty. We followed our leisurely lunch with a spot of light retail before home. Both babies were extremely well behaved and just slept, fed and looked cute. Any of the S London crowd fancy a lunch / shopping jaunt some time? I am sure we will be repeating it....

Have got jobs to do today. My washing machine was written off yesterday after being broken for 2 weeks so i need to get onto the insurance co for a new one. Sorry to all those I've missed, hope you are all OK and that you have had some sleep.

Hello there!

Very sorry to hear about your DH's job, Jam. I really do hope that something comes along for him soon. Many of my friends are on the brink of redundancy, and it is an etremely worrying time for them all. Best wishes to you both.

Major, I am aghast at your ILs! I thought mine were odd but yours beat them hands down. What deeply unpleasant behaviour. Hope you have had a quiet word with DH. I find it difficult to criticise my ILs to my DH (god knows I try ) but sometimes I have to say something. For eg this Christmas MIL told DD1 (aged 3.5) that she should shut up as she was a whinge bucket! She does moan a fair amount TBH, although I can't htink where she would get that from ha ha, but there are things one just does not say. I do worry that in 30 years or so I may be a MIL and some poor woman will be posting about me and how awful I am. Oh dear.

Supercat, how was your night? Thinking o you.

Arti, I can put DS in his basket awake about 3/4 of the time. He will just gurgle, look at his hands or the cot toy and settle himself to sleep if he is tired. The rest of the time he does complain, but usually for a reason like more food or the most enormous burp/ fart brewing.

Happy birthday Zoe for yesterday, many congratulations on being 30. Those were the days

Turnip, very keen to hear about the yoga, sounds lovely, I'd love to do something like that but it's too far for me.

Well, the delightful Verso and I had a splendid lunch on Monday in the rain, with wine and pudding a plenty. We followed our leisurely lunch with a spot of light retail before home. Both babies were extremely well behaved and just slept, fed and looked cute. Any of the S London crowd fancy a lunch / shopping jaunt some time? I am sure we will be repeating it....

Have got jobs to do today. My washing machine was written off yesterday after being broken for 2 weeks so i need to get onto the insurance co for a new one. Sorry to all those I've missed, hope you are all OK and that you have had some sleep.

Hi all, can't believe it's taken me till now to join you o this thread. I have actually managed a bit of a life in between so maybe that's why .

I got DH to come to baby cinema with me yesterday (no way I can do twins on my own there), but I didn't realise how long Benjamin Button was - we had to leave to pick up DD1 from school half an hour beford the end . Great film till then, though.

I also managed a night out on Saturday, in the West End. I even managed some conversations which weren't about babies, but also found myself staring happily into space on my own a few times - brain definitely not what it was . AND we had people over for Sunday lunch - well, admittedly I'm not the cook but it's the first time we've managed to have people over other than for a quick drink or cup of tea.

And on the bad mummy front - the DTs have been in their own room since about 3/4 weeks. If I end up in there with them because they won't settle, I put in ear plugs as both of their snuffling/moaning/wriggling is impossible to sleep through. And last night, I forgot to take the earplugs out when I went back to my own bed, how bad is that? Funnily enough, they went considerably longer between feeds than normal and were strangely both wide awake when I finally heard them. They regularly 'self-settle' i'e' I walk off and let them cry. I don't let them get really upset, but I find that if they're just whimpering/whingeing and I go in to soothe them, it just makes them worse. They usually go to sleep much quicker if I let them be.

KMP - I had heard that it was best for babies' backs to sleep on a firm surface but I had not specifically heard sheepskins were dangerous. DD1 always had one in her pram to keep her warm and often fell asleep on it. DD2 is the same. It is an organic one (i.e. not chemically treated) but I wonder if I should remove it? Off to google.

JJ - it is hilarious that your MiL thinks that in this day and age the midwives would help you in any way had you had a hospital birth. After I had dd1 I was in hospital for 3 nights having blood transfusions. Despite the fact I was very aneamic and hooked up to tubes the midwives did not do a thing to help. DH had to leave me each night with nappies etc in reach as I could not really move and I just help DD the whole time as I could not reach the bassinet. It certainly did not encourage her to sleep through!

Summer - two words: internet shopping. I have not been in a supermarket more than twice in three years.

Trace - how is the boob?

Thanks for sharing your experiences of self settling. I wanted to know how many babies were doing it in order to assess whether it is really something they can do so young. It seems in many cases it is. So last night I went to bed with my copy of the Baby Whisper and I resolved to try everything I could to get DD2 to self settle today and to do so in her cot (she spends every night in her Phil and Ted's cocoon so this would be her first day in the cot).

I now have mixed feelings. I have had succes: dd is asleep in her cot and was put down awake. However, she did get quite upset when I laid her down and I am not someone who beleives in controleld crying. I tried the Baby Whisperer's sushing and patting technique but the patting over-stimualted her so I just sat near her shushing. After 10 mins she stopped crying and slept. The thing is I now feel that I am kidding myself if I think that was not controlled crying. To DD2 it would have made very little difference that I was one metre away saying "shhhhh" - that was more of a comfort to me. Nevertheless I did it and there is no point regretting it, I should celebrate success. I am just a little unsure about whether I can do it for this afternoon's nap and tonight's sleep if she cries again. I know I need to be consistent but we will see...

Hello,

JJ I really chuckled at the idea of the midwives teaching the babies to sleep! Did he midwives run seminars complete with diagrams on the blackboard?

lal Your comment about your mum wanting to dress your LO in layers of wool reminded me of a woman who was admiring DD the other day. She said she'd been babysitting her grandaughter and as soon as her daughter left she dressed her in a cardigan and a hat. I wonder what her daughter made of that when she got home!

Veggie P&C parking is brill . Especially as our car only has three doors and in some normal parking spaces there isn't room to open the doors wide enough to get DD out. I usually shop online though, it's a godsend.

KMP I think I'll give those aloe vera nappies a go. I often end up changing DD in the night as sometimes she's soaked in the morning. The other day her growbag was all wet poor thing.

Oh and those who are using mam dummies, I saw some in TK Maxx yesterday for only 1.99! I know the stock varies in each store but it might be worth a look if you're passing.

DD had her jabs this morning. I felt very mean as she doesn't understand that it is for her own good - a bit like taking one of the cats to the vets IYKWIM!

arti - i rang my hv about the boob and she suggested i see the gp, so i went this morning ans have been given antibiotics because she thinks it's mastitis still quite red and hot and tender.
Am finding p very unpredictable at the mo. she was quite consistent in her 2 hourly feed-play-sleep cycle with longer sleeps overnight, and i could usually put her in her cot drowsy and she'd drop off for half an hours nap. since the weekend everything has got shorter...tiny feed (3 mins ish), little awake time (half hour max) and mini nap then wakes up crying after 10 mins. she won't fall asleep unless i'm holding her and when she wakes she still seems sleepy but i can't get her back off so we're in a really short cycle now. her feeds are obviously having an effect on my boobs, hence the mastitis. i'm hoping this is due to her snottiness and that she's not been communicating with the 'sleep is for wimps' brigade via baby-com
i've been trying to take pics of her smiling but when she smiles she kicks her legs and waves her arms, because smiling is soooooooo exciting, so i can't get a snap that's not blurred! must persevere

Sorry to keep posting about this, I know my DD's routine is probably deathly dull for anyone else to hear about, but I have nobody else to tell:

Just after my last post DD2 woke (after 45 mins asleep). I got her up, fed her for 30 mins, played with her for 45 mins and she yawned so follwing the Baby Whisperer routine I ut her back in the cot. And guess what? She yelled as I put her down but stopped after about three breaths and then I stood behind the cot watching and she just coo-ed, looked around her for 5 mins and fell asleep.

I am now feeling alot more comfortable about today's choices. I think because DD had been able to self-settle and only just lost the ability it was right to try this quickly. And I am soooo chuffed that she is OK about the transfer to the cot .

Trace - sorry to hear it is mastitis but its good that you have ABs. Lets hope they work quickly. No idea what to say about Pheobe's short routine. Is there anything you can do to make her feed for longer. Maybe skin-to-skin would be worth a try?

GBB - Look at you having a real life and coping so well with twins! I take my hat off to you, I really do .

Talking about real lives I am going out on Saturday night as DD2 is being alittle more accepting of the bottle. It is a friend's 30th and we are going to one of my favourite restaurants in the world . Unfortunatly I forgot it was also valentines day and poor DH will be at home alone with the DDs (oops).