September 08 - Just ladies with babies

[pacita]

I thought I'd start a new thread before we run out of space...

eandz been on facebook, she in uae.

don't look now, but T is asleep again.

I'm not going to pretend I've cracked it, but at least if the sleep continues we can eliminate overtiredness as a reason for the non-settling.

Arghhhhh, MIL has turned the request for a pram walk into a day long visit!

Ninja - can empathise over your (d)p - my... well he'd be ex if i could rid myself of him... does little to help, lots to upset me, and is critical to boot. Last night, he slept happily from 11ish to 8ish. I got to sleep at 11ish, but was woken at 1am, 3am, 5 and 6.50. I then fed both dds, got us all dressed and even managed a shower - he (having dressed himself and strolled downstairs) then moaned that we should have left the house earlier than the 8.40 we managed. I'm a single parent with the added stress of an unhelpful adult hanging around telling me i'm not organised enough etc.

hopefully - empathise with the failure to settle thing - dd2 was like that til the last week, we were up 2-3 hours at a time, but she's been more settled recently. In the day she rarely falls asleep other than in my arms and wakes up when put down, but usually we're out most of the day and she'll sleep almost constantly in the sling

My check up / dd2's injections are due tomorrow - would be nice to get her weighed too, as she seems to have grown so much - she's 8 weeks today, but I bought somne 0-3 month babygros and she fills them completely (though she does still fit in her nb stuff, so that's a bit odd)

thats what I thought guessed well actually i was too lazy to express any off, plus i only get around 3oz when i do express, so i thought he needs all i can supply, so I just let him get on with it

Well, I have no routine at all to speak of!....Toby never does anything the same way twice! We have some really good nights and some really horrid ones, yet dont actually do anything different during the day, so not sure whats going on there...

If he is awake after a feed then I put him in either his play gym or rocker chair whilst I do things like go to the loo and eat and if he isnt I cuddle him for a bit and put him down to sleep if I can...sometimes I have to cuddle him til the next feed, however.

I keep telling myself that he is only 8 weeks old tomorrow (I know some of your babies are older) and I am still not receovered fully from the birth so I am not getting too stressed about it....we get there eventually.

Night night, lets hope its a good one for us all!

splishsplosh you've described our mornings to a tee (except I have to feed a cat and 2 guineas in the morning as well!!). I have to say though, when he does take charge of the dd's he's a great dad - I just wish he'd seem a bit more greatful for all the time out he gets and all that I do.

Imoscarsmum I've e-mailed you - got DD1 to bed finally

Poor M had her jabs today and if she's awake she's screaming. She's been getting A LOT of boob to calm her down this evening.

re fore and hind milk etc. With DD1 I once expressed 13oz of milk which was bluish which indicates that it was foremilk - she had a fever at the time and so I reckon that's what she needed. I was amazed at how my milk could change to cope with her demands.

Wow our bodies are amazing. Thank you for the green nappy advice, I will keep on as we are and hope my body doesn't take too long to catch up with whatever his changing needs are. And if it is a virus, lets hope it passes soon. Not that he seems bothered by green poo, it just doesn't seem right somehow!

Well, i am trying not to get too excited, but after his monster sleep yesterday afternoon T slept from 8-10:30 in the bjorn, settled in only half an hour after his 10:30pm feed (in the cot by 12:10) and did his usual quick settle after the bottle feed at 4am.

ILTMIMI thanks for the feeding in different positions idea. i fed him in a rugby hold (less easy than when he was a squishy newborn!) and it cleared within a feed. still a little tender, it was a massive lump, but definitely gone.

anyone got any thoughts on this? when dp is doing the bottle feed in the night, he is leaping up and feeding T at the first whimper, before it's even clear if he's waking. this means that over the course of 5 nights his feed has gone from 4-5am to 2:30-3:30am. will this mean T gets into he habit of waking, rather than only waking when hungry, or is it a good thing as he's not waking of his own accord? i can't decide whether to ask dp too start pushing it later again when we've got the settling sorted.

C was a once a night 4am waker. DP used to spend half an hour sticking his dummy back in when he was niggling. It annoyed me cuz I said if youre awake why not just feed him and get it over and done with. BUT it meant gradually he woke later and later and now we have no middle of the nioght feed. You do end up being awake obviously while they are grumping but that first morning you wake and realise youve been asleep all night is bliss!

hopefully i know what you mean, it is a dilema. I must admit i go for the keep m asleep even if that means an extra feed atm, but she's a quick feeder(she'll normally settle after one side of 10-15 mins in the night). it's worth giving your current strategy a go. basically maybe think what you can do to get you and your dh the most sleep.

Hi all, hope alll the sleeping problems are starting to resolve - here the problems are mainly the day naps, but we had few small steps in the right direction.

hopefully - we talked about this just the other day at post-natal group. HV said that now after growth spurt's over, to try and leave baby to re-settle (dd is 11wks tomorrow), as it could be just sleep cycle as supposed to hunger. Have to try that too, as for the last 2 nights she's woken around 4-4.30am, put her straight to the breast (we're co-sleeping atm) but she just sucks for a few minutes, not really having proper feed and falls asleep staright away. Will report back on how we get on tonight.

At Sunflower residence, still very stressed thanks to MIL - home alone all day with her is driving me nuts, causing me more work as I have to go over cupboards etc to put things back, and hate the way she is with DS especially when she's holding DD - it's weird, she could be playing with him a moment, and just shouting at him for no reason the next. and yesterday I could have killed her - went to pick ds up from school with her and a little girl from his class told me he spat in his water at lunch (whe I asked him he explained the cup had washing up liquid so the teacher changed it) but when dp came home she told him ds had kicked the teacher ! where she got that from, god only knows, but even if it was, it would have been up to me to tell him! (sorry about the rant and long post, but can't complain to people who knows her as she's mother theresa in their eyes... maybe I bring out the worst in her...)

anyway, on a positive note, I received my 1st wrap sling yesterday and both DD and I loved it straight away (though I could do with a shorter one)! maybe not that positive as I can see a new addiction to add to the cloth nappy one... I'm already trying to choose another one (well, dd "christened" it straight away, so definetly need 2!)

Sunflower I pity you with the MIL situation! My MIL isn't too bad, but she drives me absolutely spare after about 2 hours. She is v emotionally needy, and with both her grandchildren just falls upon them and cuddles them and cuddles them, irrespective of whether they are crying, hungry, tired etc. It makes it very hard to keep T happy - today should be a laugh, as I am determined not to upset his sleep now he is a bit better. He is actually asleep in the cot again and I or MIL will take him out for a long pram walk for lunch nap.

I think with the nights at the moment, I won't rock the boat for another night or two, until T is definitely getting enough sleep, and then I might talk to DP about trying to push him a few minutes extra each night (a week ago, after several nights pushing him an extra few minutes each time, he was getting to 5am, but that was pre-possible-growth-spurt-drama).
I actually don't think he's ready to drop the night feed yet - he takes 5oz, and a full feed in the morning - but it would be good to push it back to at least 3:30am and then perhaps start combine cutting it back by a fraction of an oz every few days as well as encouraging him to last a little bit longer without a feed.

At the moment we are again Starlight's 'survival' mode, so I'm not going to mess with anything until we're back up to par on the sleep front and the days are as reliable as they were a week ago - as long as the night feed only takes 45 mins, it's not a total hardship for DP to do it I don't think.

Hi all, quicky from me as Samuel is very demanding today - which is not really like him at all, he had his fist jabs yesterday - the Dr explained that unless the mother is going back to work & the baby is going into childcare at 8 weeks they prefer to do the 1st lot at 3 months, so we had them yesterday - and he is very sleepy & not at all happy in his skin today. He had weighed in at a huge 6.72 kilos, wish they gave it in pounds which is what my brain thinks in! He has also been referred to a dermatologist for a little spot he has had on his thigh since birth - looks a bit like a blister, but it doesn't appear to bother him at all - anyone else ever seen one of these??

Well he's settled a bit, so was going to share our "routine" with you -
between 7 & 8am we all get up, S has a little feed on one side,all have brekky get DH of for the day, DS1 off to school, then S gets the other side & I put him down for a nap sometime between 9 & 10am for half anhour to 45 mins, then up, bit of a play or maybe we'll go & see someone, then nice big feed and down for his main nap between half eleven & half twelve. Usually sleeps for about two hours-ish, but sometimes we have trouble with him waking after 45 mins, then another big feed about 2.30pm and he will stay awake til about 4.30pm when we go around to school for DS1 and he will have a little catnap in the pram, wakes up, has a feed (usually one side only) then in the bath about 6 ish and in bed for 7pm, then I wake him up before I go to bed between 10 & 11pm (although he is more sleepy every night now) then he will sleep til about 7 or 8ish...It works for us & I know it is way too "routiney" for many of you, but I have to get things done as well! Because I'm self employed, I've never really had any "time off" exactly, so have to try & squeeze everything in somehow, which I can't do if I'm permanantly shattered & never know when he will nap...sorry for massive post in the end!

Just got back from Robyns first jabs. Not as bad as I thought. She smiled at the nurse and looked quite giggly then she stabbed her and her face just crumpled. On a good note she didn't notice the 2nd jab and by time we were out the door she had calmed down..
She is fast asleep in her pram so i am expressing for tonight. We are off to watch the zmas lights be turned on. Yay

All you having trouble expressing it could be the technique(not being critical here) I've found that if i pump fast to get the milk flowing i don't get too much but if i change too long slow pumps i get loads(well 3-4 ozs in 10 mins.
When i watch Robyn it is how she feeds. It could be worth a try watching your lo's feeding pattern and trying to copy that.

Splishsplosh yes my p can be like that he is good with all 3 and when i was in hospital brilliant, house clean kids fed and much better then me. He does rub itin a bit tho that he can be more organised and get it done faster yet when we are both at home he does nothing much at all, just sits on the computer. I used to say to people i had 3 kids one 8 one 11 and one 30.

Hi, wow it has taken me a while to catch up!

For activity time, like others, I involve DD in what I am doing and basically give her a running commentary. Her favourite seems to be sitting in the bouncy chair and watching me hang up the washing. We have a washing rack on a pulley in the kitchen and she is fascinated by this. I find I have to vary what is going on to keep her happy, so I very often sing her songs and do silly dances, and her eyes just light up in a big grin. I highly recommend it - I just make up words about anything, e.g. the importance of not mixing whites and darks in the wash, and sing to any tune. Current fav tunes are the Beverley Hillbillies theme song and Who are the People in your Neighbourhood? from Sesame Street circa 1978!

Jenpet
14.8 lbs
Not sure if it is 8ozs or 8/10ths of a lb but hop it helps

It does, thanks lots Debs75 x

Had a terrible night last night. DS seemed to be on a 2 hour sleep, 2 hour awake pattern. With the awake bit consisting of either comfort feeding (my interpretation of 5 mins sucking, lets go, head lolls back and he sleeps for a few mins, then latches on again. Repeat ad infinitum) or croaky overtired crying as DH walks him round the house to give me a break. I can't believe he would still be going through a growth spurt, he's not feeding for as long as he used to but he just refuses to settle easily.

Although saying all that he's asleep on his playmat right now. Cute little thing.

AND to make up for such a little grumpatron last night he did his first belly laugh this morning. I'd just stuck him in the bouncer while I was simultaneously hanging laundry and eating toast (have to make the most of the non-clingy moments) when I heard him giggle. I looked over and saw he was laughing at the cars swinging on the bar in front of him. He laughed again, just to prove he could! But then when I tried to make him laugh he stopped.

Hello bb my DS is also 11 weeks, he's 12 weeks on Sunday. Keep thinking we've cracked it and then he goes and changes his routine and we're all a muddle again.

So thats now double his birthweight! Is that supposed to be at 3 months, or have I inadvertantly produced a massive growth child?!

hopefully - I'm glad you've got rid of the block, they can be so painful.

M decided daytime naps were for wimps yesterday. He must have been knackered as he woke up at 4.30 for his usual 1-2am feed, and then slept until 8.15. He hasn't slept that much since he was a tiny newborn.

Of course I was awake at 6.30am and was having to stop myself from checking he was ok

Thank you everyone for your routine / non-routine summaries! The debate continues at Ponyfamily Headquarters. After all my research the baby advice book I finally selected arrived yesterday. So far I have devoured four chapters and have not yet thrown it against the wall! This is a very good sign. If it is still useful once I get to the meaty stuff I'll let you know what it is, as I think a few others are in the same position as me, torn between routine and non-routine and totally confused about where to start.

I was out all day yesterday, firstly at the movies (it was fantastic, she loved it) and then at the baby clinic. Two things:

1. At the film my friend offered me her copy of the GF book, as I had vaguely mentioned my routine queries to her once. She said I could have the book if I thought it would be useful. I admitted I had already concluded that this book was NOT for me. She said in that case it was going in the nearest bin as she wanted it out of her house pronto. She said reading it put her in quite bad depression for several days and made her totally doubt herself as a mother! How awful!
2. The HV at the clinic is hopeless and got me down. DD is not putting on weight very fast and has now dropped to the 25th centile (4.8 kg at 10 weeks). She started at the 50th. I am feeding her as much as is humanly possible. Is it a problem later if babies are on the small side? Should I be concerned? Anyway, I told the HV about my lingering nipple thrush and asked how long I should stay on the meds. Her response? "If bf is not working for you, it's not working. Not to worry, there are alternatives we can talk about." I replied that I want to keep bf and it is very important to me. She repeated the "If it's not working..." thing (which incidentally seemed to be her stock response to other struggling mums at the clinic as well..). Why are we paying this woman with our taxes? What earthly good is she?

Hello all,

I've not posted anything for a while, but have been reading the goings on during feeds.

D's skin is a lot better, so maybe those antibiotics did work. That and the constant application of aqueous cream, badger balm and oilatum baths.

He has also been sleeping 3,4 and 5 hour stretches until last night, when he decided to feed every two hours. Bummer. He is now in his cot for his morning nap and refusing to fall asleep. To be honest, he's been doing most of his naps in the pram or sling while we walk around, but it would be nice if he could settle well while at home.

Hopefully I follow with trepidation the ups and downs of T's sleep!! I hope you crack it, as I shall then copy!

Ponymum I sometimes wonder if these HV's are on commission from the formula milk companies! I absolutely agree that BF is not right for every woman, but there you are saying BF'ing is important to you & she's trying to talk you out of it?! Grrr, I don't know how you held your tongue...
Also, with GF, I think she is a quite extreme, BUT if you can take out a lot of what she advises & adjust it to suit you & your lifestyle, then it can be useful (jenpet waits for the angry backlash...)