Sept 08 - newborns, milk, nappies and all the rest ....

[Sassafrass]

Hope noone minds me starting our post natal thread now that the babies are arriving so quickly.

Arrivals!
28-May - Johnworf ? Katherine, 1lb 8oz
30-June ? KashaSarrasin ? Felix, 1.39kg
26-July - Jenbot - DD, 3lb 6oz
11-Aug - Crabby - Lilah 2.34kg
13-Aug - Sassafrass - Katie Rose, 7lb 2oz
20-Aug - Sunshinemummy - Effy Marilyn, 6lb 3oz
22-Aug - Talia1 - Anna, 6lb 2oz
26-Aug - Jenpet - Samuel, 3.166 kilos (about 6lb10oz?)
28-Aug - Potxola - Lorea, 7lb 6oz
31-Aug - Digitalgirl - Alfredo, 7lbs
1-Sept - Debithescot - Andrew, 8lb 10oz

I saw a bfc thismorning she was so helpful im starting to believe i will be able to fully bf she gave me lots of tips and advice, i will be seeing her 3 times aweek at the nest group, thanks for the info on that meglet

We have had a few smiles from Fraser to its so cute

Better go i think he wants more milk again.

notcitrus Goodness me, the cuddling isn't going to work if you resent it. If anything your stress will be passed on.

I suspect very much that you're responding to A more than you think you are anyway, and a few sessions of seperation to keep your sanity aren't going to damage him. It's the 'from birth strict routine, ignore, don't touch or make eye contact etc. strategies that you need to be wary of.

Like the rest of us, do what you need to to survive these hellish early weeks. The baby will still be little for quite a while and you'll be able to do plenty of cuddling as things improve.

hiya all!....just managing a few minutes to myself before im off again!

im so shattered today as @ 3am dd2 was screaming and searching for her bottle but ended up just suckling on it for an hour..only managed to get 1 ounce down her! ....but the problem was that she was hungry and so full of wind at the same time. Dp in the end winded her from 6am to 8am constantly burping and farting!!.. Dd1 was never like that as i used to wind her every 2 ounces of milk that she drank. ive forgotton what it is like to have a newborn!!! Im trying to figure out if its cos i give her cold milk and not warm...im so asleep i cant think!!.

anyway..now think maybe she got abit of colic as her poo is pale green one minute and bright yellow the next! this is all new to me as dd1 had no problems at all, only thrush in her mouth.

cant wait for dp to have some paternity leave off as hes self employed and we are mega skint now as 2 bad months of weather had caused probs for dp to work and also he had a pole systems installed in so he had to sort that out....basically everything is up the wall!!

notcitrus - please don't feel bad. Believe me, I am no earth mother and I need time away from ds2 when everything gets on top of me and it all gets too much. You do what you need to do to save your sanity in the early weeks.

notcitrus I'm with you. I follow my instincts like everyone says - and my instincts are that time away from my baby, and him sleeping in his cot in another room are good for both of us. If I know that ds is full of food, winded, and tired, I'm happy for him to do a bit of crying to get to sleep (I intervene before a hysterical meltdown is reached though!). Someone else posted on here about routine transforming their baby into a much happier little being, and there were noticeably few posts in agreement, but I'm one of those quiet voices who says its ok not to co-sleep or carry your baby in a sling if its not your way.

NC, speaking to one person on a message board should never be considered as implicit criticism of what someone else is doing. babies and parents differ greatly and we can talk of what is the topic at hand.

i really think the book 'The Social Baby' is worth investing in. it addresses the typical baby that needs lots of cuddles and those who seem to need less. more importantly, it discusses body language which babies always use to communicate their needs if only we adults were better primed to read them.

oh dd1 was a noisy breather too and with her cosleeping also terrified me. over time i learnt how to do it better and without being worried of squashing her. i started out with daytime naps then a couple hrs at night etc, to biuld my confidence and technique.

Notcitrus - I don't do the co-sleeping thing at all, far too scared to even try it so kudos for you (and everyone else) who's tried it. I have Elizabeth in her Moses basket right next to my bed though, and sometimes her snuffles are seriously loud. I was desperate for an extra hour of kip this morning so I just stuck earplugs in for an hour, I got my kip but I would've easily herd her had she actually woken up and cried. Maybe you could try this if you still want to try co-sleeping NC, just stick an earplug in the ear that isn't on the pillow. Or how about swaddling? There's been plenty of stuff on here about swaddling helping for babies who like to be constantly cuddled.

Deb - I've sent a virtual slap to your DH, don't know what he's playing at being so unsupportive.

I have been extremely lucky with Elizabeth, she's got colic and screams after a lot of her feeds, and she's had a dodgy period for the last couple of weeks where she's screamed from 7pm til about 11pm, but it seems to be reducing on the Infacol and I just feel extremely lucky that she is happy to go down in her basket all the time. A lot of the time I pick her out and let her sleep in my arms just because I want a cuddle, but I realise how tiring and restricting it must be to all of you whose babies won't be put down to sleep on their own, but please please remember, it must only be a phase and all our babies are sooo worth it!

My HV came today and I demanded that she weigh Elizabeth because I've been freaking out about her ending nearly all her feeds early through crying, and she's actually put on 8oz in a week , HV suggested screaming was due to tummy ache from having so much milk, rather than trapped wind, which I suppose would tally with the fact she never screams at her night feeds (she goes over 4hrs without a feed) and also that I've never managed to get any wind out of her, even on Infacol! Hopefully HV isn't speaking a load of tripe and the screaming will stop once my flow calms down to what is actually needed.

Thanks people - I'm probably extra sensitive atm. MrNC is getting convinced I'm depressed. The sunlight has helped and I'm about to go out and register A with the GP.

A is swaddled most of the time and pretty content. I have a king-size bed to myself so giving half of it to him (pillow on far side)s and having me under a single duvet isn't hard. Now if only I could bf lying down. Will seek out bf groups this week (they're all an hour's journey away) as even now the nose-to-nipple=magic mouth opening has been explained, A doesn't get it and won't lean back, which apparently is why I'm not getting quite enough breat into his mouth and getting areolar pain.

I picked up three books on babies in a charity shop yesterday. The Gina Ford one is annoying and basically says 'buy my first book', but there's probably a point in there somewhere. The Rough Guide to Babies is rather good - my pregnancy followed the Rough Guide quite well, and this one is pretty even-handed and supportive of any choices, with some humour, so made me feel better even if there's not much detailed advice.

Right, time for some sunlight. And getting another errand done so MrNC doesn't have to worry - poor bunny has been up and down ladders for a week, trying to fix leaks, get plumbers and roofers back, and do the budget. Not to mention scaffolders trying to beat him up to get him to pay them. Looks like we'll be about £5000 over just to have a roof on our house, thanks to material costs rising and the credit crisis affecting tradesmen so badly. It'll be a story to tell A when he's older...

Carrieon I'm so much more of a routine person than a do things whenever type of person! Fortunately both my boys seem to have responded well to routines too, but if they hadn't I would've found it really hard..I agree that everyone should find a way that suits them and their children, and it is hard to figure out what works for you. If I co-slept with Sam I would have no sleep at all & DS1 would never get to school on time! (although that said I have fallen asleep on the bed in his room after feeding him) If it works, do it!
btw Can anyone remember how many extra calories you are meant to have in a day when bf'ing, and is it OK to have them all in mini snickers bars?!

yummmm mini snickers bars. the stuff my dreams are made of.

jenpet i've been told an extra 300 calories but i'm not sure.

i'm still trying to up my poor supply. been looking for fenugreek?

ive been told its 500 calories....not sure.

NotCitrus If I remember correctly, you've got other things going on at home that prevents you and MrNC from surrendering completely to your lo as some of us have the luxury of doing and still find it hard. Are you not asking for the help you need from MrNC because you are worried that he has enough to do?

I don't know whether you are depressed or not but please feel free to share even the most teeny things that are upseting you or getting you down. You could well find half of us feel the same, or have come across the 'problem' and found a solution.

I do think you need to think about what MrNC is saying though, because he knows you better than anyone atm and if he thinks something is amis, there might well be. Lots of people don't admit to being depressed for fear of feeling a failure and like they are unable to cope, which no-one likes to think of themselves.

Anyway, I promise you that one way or another things will get easier.

Sorry NC I've just read your post that confirms MrNC is running around sorting out other things. Is there anyone else you could rope in for a bit more help?

TMI alert - lochia has finally tailed off so gave DS to mum to cuddle for a couple of hours and did the 'deed' this morning for the first time in the last couple of months. a little bit sore again going to the loo...might leave it again for a bit, but glad we got the 'first' time over with .

eandz Fenugreek is great stuff ive been taking it for 3 days now the only thing is my wee and sweat smeels of it
I got it from holland and barrett.

Pidge is all on her lonely only on the due thread. Let's prepare a virtual party for her arrival!

Lolly That's fab news about bfing!

thank you lollyheart!

will slowly walk over to holland and barret now.

this thread is really supportive. i'd seriously be besides myself if it wasn't around. i can't believe that the majority of women aren't on here!

Notcitrus, hats off to you. I think sometimes we forget that in order to be of any use to our LOs we have to be in reasonable shape ourselves. That's hard to do without any sleep or support. If being away from baby gives you the breather you need, then that's the right way.

I have been co-sleeping with my baby, simply because that means that I can feed him lying down and then we both go off to sleep, however, I much rather have him sleeping next to me on his moses basket. I feel safer and I can cuddle his dad!! I am only on my first week, so I guess the baby blues are hitting me now. I am all weepy and really need dad's cuddles too.

Other than that, today for the first time I can see Diego satisfied after a feed. He drops off to sleep, and he enjoys walking around in my arms, singing and cuddling when awake.

Let's see how he's feeling tonight, as it tends to get uglier in the evening....

BTW, what is Fenugreek good for?

hmm anyone have a bebe au lait

foxy

If you haven't found it already you'll love this thread

doh

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/621785-sleep-depriving-tiny-babies-is-cruel?msgid=12664954

notcitrus don't let the posts on here make you feel worse. I agree that doing whatever it takes to keep you relatively sane is very very important.
And the difference between what you put and what barnpot put about leaving your babies in their beds is that Elliot didn't settle and got more upset whereas Adam was less miserable after being left for a bit so I think that what you did was right for the 3 of you. Remember every person and every baby is different and what works for you might not work for someone else.

The sleeping and feeding situation will get better I promise you. try to get out and get some fresh air every day and get your anti SAD light on!

barnpot ds1 was very bad at settling himself when he was small and his cries would get louder and more high pitched if he was left so I couldn't do it (until he got to about 6 months old when the type of cry changed and he would then stop as soon as I walked in to settle him so I knew he was trying it on then and I then started leaving him to cry with good results). I also worried about all the same things as you've been told but as I say once he got to about 6 months he became able to settle himself and now he is a very happy toddler and hardly ever cries and is not clingy at all.

I couldn't do co-sleeping either and thankfully Andrew sleeps well in his crib so hasn't been an issue.

And I've also had 2 babies who like routine. Its not mega strict but it is predicable enough to know roughly what's happening and when. The 4 hour feeding is going really well and the middle of night feed is gradually getting later and later. Also I didn't do anything to put him in that routine, Andrew seemed to do it all himself. And he is generally a happy and content baby.

i think ill be popping into Holland and Barretts too for the Fenugreek. its to able to produce more milk for breastfeeding.