Sept 08 - newborns, milk, nappies and all the rest ....

[Sassafrass]

Hope noone minds me starting our post natal thread now that the babies are arriving so quickly.

Arrivals!
28-May - Johnworf ? Katherine, 1lb 8oz
30-June ? KashaSarrasin ? Felix, 1.39kg
26-July - Jenbot - DD, 3lb 6oz
11-Aug - Crabby - Lilah 2.34kg
13-Aug - Sassafrass - Katie Rose, 7lb 2oz
20-Aug - Sunshinemummy - Effy Marilyn, 6lb 3oz
22-Aug - Talia1 - Anna, 6lb 2oz
26-Aug - Jenpet - Samuel, 3.166 kilos (about 6lb10oz?)
28-Aug - Potxola - Lorea, 7lb 6oz
31-Aug - Digitalgirl - Alfredo, 7lbs
1-Sept - Debithescot - Andrew, 8lb 10oz

Hi, have been totally exhausted over last day. Routine (such as it was ) totally wrecked by arrival of PIL to help out for 3 weeks. They are lovely but I think neither party understands what is the best way they can help! Any suggestions please?

They are staying in a rental cottage in the next village which is great, but were here all day yesterday and just wanted to hold DD all day and night and have a big catch up with us. Then FIL suggetsed we have a 'special' dinner and produced a bottle of champagne to kick it off. By this stage I was nearly in tears from exhaustion, and DD was about to start her non-stop feeding from 6pm to midnight, when I would usually either be on the sofa under a blanket with my breasts hanging out or in bed with her and trying to grab a scrap of dinner between feeds. I think he actually thought we could get dressed up and go out to a restaurant!

Anyway, DH has had a chat to them and today they are cooking us dinner and dropping it off to give us a quiet day / night. I feel awful as they have come a very long way from overseas and this is the first grand child. FIL had tears in his eyes yesterday holding her, and told us her birth has given him a new lease of life as he now wants to live long enough to have conversations with her (he is 80 so this is really something special for him). MIL has suggested they take her out in the pram for a few hours to give us a break, but I feel that would stress me out more (being apart from her, what about feeds, etc) and we haven't even done this ourselves yet due to my enforced bed rest. Am I being horrid / selfish / worrying too much?

So far all I can think of to help us is:

• Cook some meals
• Help with washing / cleaning / dishes
• Go to supermarket etc for us

But I also want them to enjoy some time with DD, just not sure how since it is all so unpredictable and impossible to plan at the moment. Any suggestions please? (Sorry for long post.)

would this link help the PILs understand a bit more? I would think that after a feed in the afternoon they could take him out for a 3mile/1hr walk it gives you time alone and may make them feel useful? I wouldn't want my NB away from me for more than an hr, if at all, that is.

It is hard for them and for you. these are just suggestions but of course it is so hard when things are so emotionally charged for everyone.

I looked at your profile and was wondering if you are in Swaledale.

barnpot we had the same prob with ds1 he was exactly like this

colicy and then would drop off in your arms and then wake as soon as he was put down, unfortunately he was like this until he was 4 and we co-slept until then too

when he was a tiny baby however he was more likely to go down in his basket if he was swaddled tightly and the he would let you put him down but he always wanted a cuddle to get to sleep even when he was 3!! which is nice though when they are older

william has put on 2 ounzes in 2 days! porker and is off for his hearing test tmorrow

Potxola and others having sleep troubles. Your description of nights with Lorea pretty much describes our nights with Dougie too. He will sleep in the Moses Basket downstairs during the day but like Lorea he cries when I put him down in the crib after a feed. Last night I managed to get him down but only after cuddling him against my front until he was completely sound asleep, which cuts into my own sleeping time! Usually he wakes up within a few minutes of me putting him in. BTW I'm definitely up for keeping in touch and introducing them when they're older!

ponymum that's difficult, glad your dh is able to talk to them a bit. Would it work if you suggested things to them, before they get the chance to suggest unsuitable things to you iykwim? For example is there a local park they take the baby to for a walk, but ask that its only 30-45mins as you're not sure when dd will need feeding? Or ask them to burp her after a feed, so they're 'involved' and they're having extra cuddles of sorts?!
Sorry, lousy suggestions, but I know its really hard trying to balance everyone's feelings. We've had a frank discussion with both sets of parents about how I wish to establish bf and this time I'll be on the sofa, they'll be taking dd to the swings thank-you-very-much rather than last time when I took myself and dd upstairs for feeds and felt like a prisoner in my own home. I just hope the chats work in practice...!
Really hope you reach a compromise before their trip ends

jearund thank you for the reassurance
Had another tantrum out of dd today after I was holding another baby (who had just fallen over and banged her head!) but hopefully with ours it'll be different, and similarly we've got her a doll, a pushchair and a crib. Maybe I'll be allowed to use my choice of girl's name on the doll!!

Just started the final (I HOPE!!!) ante-natal thread here for those who are interested.
Oh crikey, just realised its the thread where my birth announcement is likely to be made. Gulp.

I am at my wits end re bf. As I said, hospital wouldnt let us leave until Charlotte was feeding well and we just couldn't get the hang of bf whilst in there so felt bullied into giving her formula just to get us home. i had an emergency c-section, strep b (IV antibiotics throughout labour) and she had IV antibiotics for 48 hrs after she arrived.

I am expressing every 3/4 hours (making about 30mls a time) but my mw reckons my milk hasn't come in yet (7 days after birth). I try her at the breast each time but because there is no gush of milk, she rarely latches and when she does she'll give a couple of sucks and then give up. Eventually she gets so frustrated and hungry that she just screams and screams until we give her formula - it's heartbreaking.

On the plus-side she's a very chilled baby. She feeds every 4 hours or so and sleeps very well in her moses basket. Last night she slept from 2am to 8am, so I know how lucky I am.
Can anyone give any suggestions re bf - i really, really want to crack it but if it means she screams with hunger at every feed, is it worth it? i'm happy to try to feed more frequently, but she simply will not wake up to feed until she is hungry.

DebiThescott THANK YOU VERY MUCH You did not sound patronising at all. You have helped me a lot with your observation.

Crabby I bought the book just before Lorea was born and I have tried the EASY pattern, but she just falls asleep on the breast and if I leave her in the cot to chill out if sometimes I notice she is tired she will cry till she is completely awake. I will try it again in a little while when she is older.

Jearund Thank you for telling me it happens to Dougie too. You see, they already have something in common I am about to go for another 3hr night. She is very unsettled today, but like DebytheScot says it is only a phase, we hope!!!!!!!!!! Hola to Mr Jearund too. he is very "majo" I liked his post telling us Dougie had arrived.

mumiyumi - my midwives advised putting lavender oil in a beaker of water and pouring it over your sore bits after the bath, as putting the oil in the bath dilutes it too much to be very useful. 20 drops in 2/3 pint seems to be helping. And a good snort of the oil is helping me relax too!

Pushchair has finally arrived so will experiment with A in it later. Tomorrow MrNC is working from home but we will go register A and return the wheelchair. From Friday he's back in the office. Must remember to get bottle of water, snacks, remote control and phone all on the sofa before feeding...

Seems that when A is claiming to need burping at night, mostly he'll accept some more feeding and that calms him down. He slept for 2 1/2 hours twice last night! Would have done more except just after both of us got to sleep at 1am, he rolled over and fell onto the floor (about 4 inches down, but he was still unimpressed). He has this very embarrassed expression when he starts feeding and when he gets hiccups, but the satisfaction from feeding him is amazing, especially watching his nose bob up and down!

Midwife came yesterday and HV today - he's practically regained his birth weight and got rid of his jaundice. I just need to get get enough food into me - it's amazing to think I've grown 200g of baby in the last 4 days!

Imoscarsmum I had EXACTLY the same problem. You CAN establish breastfeeding but it is a lot of hard work and you have to have plenty of support.

Here's my thread

The main tips are: we changed from bottles to cup feeding (which requires more effort and is less passive than bottle feeding), replaced as much formula as possible with expressed breast milk (so he'd get a taste for it), did as much skin to skin as possible (to stimulate milk producing hormones in me and the suckling instinct in him) - literally spent the whole weekend half naked in bed with my DS lying on my chest. Mastered positioning with as many pillows necessary to make it as comfortable for DS as possible.

PS If you're expressing 30mls then your milk HAS come in. 7 days after the birth I was only managing to express 15-20ml.

foxy, when are you due? i was over the other thread looking for your birth story cuz i thought i had missed it and then couldn't find you on the list. please tell me i haven't missed it?

potxtola - been going insane last few nights, going through similar pattern as you... she's fast asleep, but as soon as she touches the basket... have to feed her again to get her to sleep and then stay in the room... she finally fell asleep tonight holding my finger - I know if I just put her on my bed, there would be no problem (I feed her in bed at night and normally we both fall asleep during it , never happened with her brother...).

eandz & hopefully - don't need to see the pile, can constantly feel it... especially when I'm trying to do my pelvic floor exercises (wow, can finally feel that I'm actually doing them!). depressed about the weight too, but just keep on telling myself that last time I actually ended up one size smaller than pre-pg (very mobile baby to run after!).. hopefully it'll be the same this time round - would like to get back into my favourite dress by xmas for special do.... but that's 2 sizes and a big tummy away...

i think i'm just really depressed about my weight because i wasn't anticipating a c-section...and i had a healthy weight loss plan set for post baby and now i can't exercise for another few weeks.

Clears throat. I was due on the 19th, officially though I think that was a bit early so i am now overdue. grr.

eandz did i already say somewhere that dh leaves on the 10th and we are supposed to follow out on the 10th of Dec?

hmm i'm thinking you need to up those special foxytocin powers.

foxytocin should be a comic strip about a woman superhero that helps distressed pregnant women all over the world.

yay someones up! Cant sleep...again
thought i'd cracked it yesterday by not really having any tea but its not working tonight- any ideas anyone?

Imoscarsmum Yes your experience sounds the same as DG's and your midwives advice sound as useless as hers. Nothing they have told you will help you to breastfeed and all with bottle feeding as you are experiencing.

Phone a breastfeeding counsellor in the morning. This is the organisation I am doing my training with. But the other 4 will be just as useful. You need one to one support at the moment. If you don't get through on one right away, don't be shy about trying another one. Because they are run by volunteers who are almost always mums with small children they miss the occasional call but will almost always call back when they can.

National Breastfeeding Helpline 0844 20 909 20
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers helpline 08444 122 949
Breastfeeding Network Supporterline: 0844 412 4664
La Leche League Telephone Helpline: 0845 120 2918
National Childbirth Trust Breastfeeding line: 0870 444 8708

now see the irony of my name.

i have tried sex too and no budging. Dh now has the flu with a touch of accompanying man-flu.

lets go sit in the corner and hold hands, plusonemore

lovely
can we have a cup of tea? have run out of milk

i don't have milk in my tea but it has to have sugar.

right...am starting to actually feel sleepy and not too burny. gonna head back upstairs, might come back in a bit when the milkman has been

maybe if we make ourselves dream about labour it will actually happen foxy. hope your hubby recovers soon. night