<< lays out tiny nappies and babygros >> For TYG and SKYTV

[largeginandtonic]

Mornin!

Right i am off to clean the mansion house. Wish me luck, it could take all day

Good luck April do you have your marigolds on?

too right and a duster!

hoovering isnt too bad as we have one of these to help

PJ, it sounds like a very good reply, hope he takes notice. Although his email is very saddening to read, it does suggest to me that he's asking you for something, it doesn't really sound like someone who wants to split.

Give me time to train up and i will be as good as Bree from DHW. And will be giving LG&T and TYG a run for their money in the domestic goddess stakes

Ooh looks good, I quite fancied one, I started with a robomop (duster on wheels) but FIL threw the ball away as he did not know what it was so now I have the cage and a years supply of the duster cloths. How does it cope with hard floors/solid wooden ones. Does it scratch? I'm not sure if we would get more use out of the mop version but don't know. We don't have carpet anywhere in the house now but we do have a few rugs. DH has very kindly bought me a new miele allergy vacuum cleaner as he is allergic to the cats. I prefer a quick sweep myself.

Morning Elkie agree with you re PJ and MrPJ it sounds like they both want to work things out doesn't it.

Come on LG&T spill the beans.

April step away from the computer your palace house will be a slatternly mess if you do net get craking. [Stern emoticon] You will only have time to do one wing if you do not get started.

"net" WTF "not" in a posh accent obviously

alright, alright i am going

craking what is going on today I am having fat finger moments all over the place.

AS DH would say I have got hands like cows T**ts.

He's totally ignored my email, calls and texts. WTF do I do now?

maybe he is just processing what you have said. Maybe give him today to think it over... xx

PJ do not panic he could just be busy. give him time to think/ digest what you have said. Maybe he wants to do it face to face as although in some ways it is harder there is not as much room for misunderstanding as there is in the written word.

Wags finger at April.

PJ, perhaps he's in a meeting, or feels like he can't have that kind of exchange of communication at work at this moment.

PJ perhaps you can tell him what you want. You are telling him to decide in your earlier message perhaps you could open up and lay your cards on the table. This may open you up for a slap or make him realise you really do love him and want this to work.

I read your last paragraph as wanting to move on as a couple but he may have got stuck on the splitting up bit and not be able to see past that.

What do you want PJ?

Honestly, I don't know. I know what I DON'T want. I don't want:

a) to have to talk about money all the time
b) to feel like a single parent because he never comes home
c) to be made to feel guilty about my relationship with L, and be made to feel like his relationship with her is down to me
d)to feel like he is battling with my mum all the time when I know he wants her there so he can do sod all
e) to feel like we are just co-existing

I was encouraged on Saturday, because occasionally I saw a glimpse of how we used to be. And I do love him, but there is so much resentment there on both sides. And now I'm cross with him because he sent me that email. To work. And then hasn't responded to me.

Maybe he doesn't want to work things out.

And on the subject of money, between us we earn almost 100k. We live in a nice 3 bed semi, my mum looks after L two days a week, it's not like we're out all the time or chartering private jets. So what's the goddamn problem.

I missed the fecking postie >

Will have to dash to the main PO before i take dd for her op tomorow! What a silly time for a postie to come, whatever happened to early morning post?

Heard baby gin HB, all good. Children a nightmare in there though. Too many things to touch and Beau wailed quite spectacularly when i laid down to hear the HB.

She has told me to rest lots and send the children all off for a little holiday around the 32 weeks mark to avoid early labour again. She also said no nookie then either Poor dh...

Pink do you feel like he is ignoring you or could he be busy in work? Would he often say something then sulk/go quiet for a while?

Can you remain calm for a while so i can jump in the car and be with you in about 8 hours?

I did ask AM to charter a helicopter to pick you up, is it not there yet?

Pink you cuold send him an email detailing how much money we dont have with 6, think that will jolt him out of this endless money nightmare?

Is he using the money as an excuse? Can i phone him?

Sorry PJ prob not what you want to hear but when I was talking to my DH last night for a male POV his overiding issue was sex. He says he would be getting more and more frustrated and resenting you for it. He would feel like you weren't close emotionally and that would be impacting on the sex and it would make hime feel that you did not care for him.

I do feel you need to turn it back to what you do want when you sommunicate even if it just a different way of saying the same thing.

Think of him as a toddler and how you communicate there. Use the positivies not the negatives

a)to have to talk about money all the time
I want to get the fionances organised so we do not have to worry about them all the time perhaps budgeting/saving in a more transparent way where we both feel equally responsible.

b) to feel like a single parent because he never comes home
I want to spend more quality time with you at home as a couple and with Lexie as a family.

c) to be made to feel guilty about my relationship with L, and be made to feel like his relationship with her is down to me
I want you and L to develop a special relation ship together so I think it would be a good idea if we spend time together then you spend more time with L on her own to strengthen the relationship you already have.

d)to feel like he is battling with my mum all the time when I know he wants her there so he can do sod all
I want my Mum here to help me sometimes when you are not around due to work but I want to spend time with you first and foremost as you are my DH.

e) to feel like we are just co-existing
I want us to get those feelings back like we used to have albeit I know it will be/is different now and have a fun time together as a couple and as a family.

DH says I can be really critical and always say what I don't want but can never get through things as I don't know what I do want. It has taken me some time and toddler to learn how to turn things round to be more positive and I find it helps get things done and doesn't bring you down s much.

On the other hand you can just tell me to shut the up

I know LG&T - I can't see her helicopter yet, although I have my heli-pad ready.

I'm trying to remain calm, but why send me that message? To work? Just to provoke me?

He never returns my calls during the day, to be fair.

He has done this once before, about six months after we got married. He disappeared for a few hours and was sending me all manner of weird messages. It just annoys me, makes me lose respect for him. Be a MAN and talk to me, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

I suspect the self-pity this morning is borne out of Alexa refusing to go to him, or even cuddle him when we got up.

DOH refer you to my earlier post re my fat fingers
LG&T NOOOOOOOOOOO no KKs and no nookie. Nicely sidestepped though. Sitting on hands hmm. What is going off?

Great post CM. Agreed.

LG&T - I think the money is masking the other problems. He is using that as it is the only area where he has control, and uses it as a proverbial 'stick to beat me with'.