Parenting after infertility

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Hi there,

I wonder if anyone out there has children after infertility. I thought it would be good to chat and share experiences. I think I am probably a more anxious Mum after our experiences. I had 2 ectopic pregnancies before she was conceived. I also had a difficult pregnancy and birth. I developed a Deep Vein Thrombosis at 30 weeks gestation, had an allergic reaction to the medication and then developed an infection in my episiotomy site following the birth of my daughter.

My DD is now 6 weeks old. Despite constant disrupted nights, crying all day and constant feeds (I am breastfeeding) I love her to bits and wouldn't change it for the world. I relaise how lucky we are to have her after our first IVF cycle.

Anyway it would be great to chat. A few of us wrote on the pregnancy board and I found it really useful.

Lots of love NS XXXX

Hi NS. I was going to start a new thread but then found this one & thought I'd bump it up for you as I think it's a great topic. There must be others in the same situation as us who'd like to chat. So, we'll see ...

Anyway, how are you? I had a bit of a rough week last week as the midwife, when she visited me on Thurs, detected a uterine infection - I was going downhill rapidly with feeling v uncomfortable - and fortunately got me on antibiotics pronto. Felt much better by Saturday. DD is doing really well - she tends to feed loads in the evening, topping herself up, and then, blissfully, goes right off to sleep around 10.30 for about 3 hours or so, meaning I usually only have one true night feed to contend with, and that's often quite a quick feed, too. How's the breastfeeding going with Emily?

I think it's entirely natural and to be expected that you would be anxious, finally having Emily with you after all you've been through. You are going to feel protective of her and watchful, so just go with it and accept that's how you need to parent atm. I was extremely anxious when we adopted DS1, frightened that I was going to do something wrong and that this wonderful dream would just end or turn into a nightmare. It wasn't much better with DS2, and then I had breastfeeding struggles to contend with as well. I compare all that with how things are with DD right now and I'm amazed at the difference. She seems to slot right in and has taken to breastfeeding like a professional!

(Did you get anywhere following writing to the hospital re your infected stitches?)

Okay, time to get back to the evening feeding frenzy but I look forward to catching up and hearing all your news when you can. Lots of love, TNPx

Hi TNP,

It's great your on the mend. I don't know if you saw but worrymerchant replied on the other thread so I will just keep a check on it from time to time.

It's good to be this side of the board. I am sorry you had the UTI. It sounds a bit like my expeience with the infection post partum. I think it's excellent the midwife picked up your UTI. Part of my problem was that the midwife failed to follow up on the pain I had in the perinium. No I have not heard from the hospital yet although they were due to write to me yesterday. I will follow up with a phone call later this week.

I am so delighted that you have a DD. Of course you wouldn't have minded what you had, all you want is a healthy baby, but it's nice when you've two sons. (I'd like a son if I have a second child.) I bet the boys will spoil her rotten when she's older! Have you loads of pretty things for her? DP doesn't like dressing her in pink so she's mostly in greens and yellows at the momment.

Emily is due for her 6-8 week check this week. She is very colicy but feeding well. Smiles are infrequent at the moment. She is inclined not to look us in the eye but we are going to get that checked. Otherwise she is healthy. Oddly enough we have had no problems with breastfeeding. She occasionally has problems latching on. Despite this we've been progressing like professionals as well. It must be such a relief to you after the trials with DS2. It's great your DD wasn't affected by the antibiotics. I was on such a high dose Emily got a bit squitish.

I am writing up our story as a book at the momment.

Great to hear from you and keep well and rested.

Lots of love,

NS. XXX