One or two little steps TracyK - blimey, impressed!
Mrs D, your colleagues sound lovely and caring - reassuring you that your family comes first. Does your boss say similar things?
My attitude to work if I am honest is:
It's well paid, it gives me time off from the children (god I need that), but I don't find my work as intrinsically rewarding as yourself and Fennel. I imagine that if I really loved my work like you guys, I wouldn't necessarily want to be part time and might feel similarly torn between work and baby. But as it is, I work 3 days a week and would reduce to 2 if my boss would consider it (but she won't)
Re loving a 2nd as much as the first - absolutely, totally and utterly possible. I love them both as much as each other(and that's the truth - not just saying that to be politically correct), but occasionally I do have fleeting preferences. When ds wakes in the night I prefer his older sister who sleeps until 08.00 in the morning. But when older sister is having a toddler tantrum, I prefer ds who is too young to be a feisty, contrary handful.