May 2008 - we just couldn't wait!

[thefortbuilder]

for everyone who's popped already and congratulations to us all!

Michelle81 Thanks for your kind words Hun xxxxx

sweetbean i was induced and my labour was brilliant, much beteer than with ds. they used gel which just got me going then it was all like it had started naturally. good luck! xxx

JBR Thanks that's just want i need to here im soooooooooo terrified that its going to be terrible this time. xxxxx

Hi all

Will catch up properly when I have a minute which is increasing rare as I'm happy to say that Jamie came home from hospital on Sunday after 2 weeks in special care. Hopefully life can get back to some sort of normality now!

mayx3 don't worry about your lo vomitting, both my DDs have projectile vomitted, so much milk, I can't believe that my bosoms hold that much. With DD1 I also used to think 'she must be starving now' but she would then always go normal time before next feed. I am less worried about it with DD2. As someone else said, if they are hungry, they will let you know.

podglet I hope you are feeling better. Is DH behaving himself??? I know how shitty it is to feel low for a while, I'm sire we all do actually.

pina you are not a bad mummy, we all have lazy days, and you are doing well to be dealing on your own with a newborn and a toddler.

I had a lovely time at my Mum's. I was spoilt and it was so relaxing. The feeding seemed to be going better too. I felt my normal self and it was lovely. Since I've got home I feel low again. DD2 keeps making this clicking noise and I am really stressing about it, even though she did it for 4 weeks before I went to the 'support' group and I didn't stress about it. I have posted a thread on BF bit.

DH suggested I take DD1 swimming today, instead of him, so I could have some quality time with DD1. I had just fed DD2 so it was a great idea and I really enjoyed it. I got home and bloody typical, DD2 has been fast asleep on beanbag since I left.....so the lucky bugger had 2 hours all to himself. I asked him what he did while we were out....'read the paper and had a nice coffee' . So, no ironing done then???.
Is it bad for me to feel so resentful towards him, I bet if I'd stayed home with DD2 she would have screamed.....

I hate feeling so negative all the time, it's o unlike me.

Roll on 6 months......

indigoblue congrats on Jamie being allowed home.....good luck with things now!!

Hello all

going to type before I read all the posts as my boy is trying out this new thing called 'sleeping' - really hoping he takes to it as much as he has to feeding .

Had him weighed at 6 days and he has put on 10oz already - I'm really pleased as DD2 put on weight quite slowly FWIR.

He has suffered badly with wind so far so making sure my latch is right and trying diff positions - will report back with results if I make any progress.

DD2 is having 'issues' bless her. She is trying her best to be all grown up but at just 2yo, it's hard for her. She is waking a lot as a result.

'The boy' has decided the cot is far too restrictive so he is taking up all mummy and daddy's king size bed instead

right off to read your news....

hi all

indigo so glad jamie is home

lm74 glad you got spoiled at your mum's. i'm missing my mum atm - had lovely chat with her this am but she's 4 hrs away so not likely to see her for a while. sorry you're feeling down now. it's so up and down isn't it. re. dh - i totally understand how you feel - dp seems to have tha magic touch with ds2 and can rock him off to sleep and put him down where he will remain motionless in cot for 2 hours, grr!! while i have spent the whole morning trying to get ds2 off with no luck he's asleep on my chest atm but i know if i put him down he'll wake up.

btw ikwym about dh not getting on with the ironing, but maybe he has the right idea...? one of my friends gave me the best advice when ds1 was tiny which was 'lower your expectations' now we know you are houseproud bree van der kamp type but maybe you could be kinder to yourself and just let yourself take it a bit easier? don't take this the wrong way i just know it can be even harder if the dc won't sleep/ settle and you're giving yourself a hard time about jobs that aren't done on top of all that hugs x x x

this from the woman who has spent most of the morning in tears because can't put ds2 down for five seconds while i eat something without him screaming place down

on positive side we had 2 crap nights then brilliant night last night - slept 4 hours, then 1 hour (woke up needing a burp and went straight back to sleep ), then 3 hours, then bonus lie-in of 2 hours!!! so i should not complain

am starting to remember why i was such a recluse when ds1 was tiny tho. feel quite weepy and find it hard to interact with people in rl. i guess it will be better in a week or 2...

oh and can't remember who posted about tongue tie, but thank you!! ds2 has this, mw confirmed today. prob not bad enough to need snipping but good to know as explains latching problems.

sorry can't remember rest of posts, congrats to new arrivals, love to you all x x x

Hi all, not much time to talk as I've just nipped to my mother in laws to write this.

Kaeden Michael was born 13/05/08 at 5.52am.

I went into hospital on 11/05/08 (due date) as my waters had broken, however, the midwife was insistant they had not broken and sent me home. I had quite a crying fit at her as she wouldn't believe me and I was worried about the baby getting an infection as the waters had turned green. Contractions were showing up on the machine, and were hurting although mild, but she said these were just BHs. These things happen. So that night I was becoming more and more concerned as water continued to leak after the first gush. The baby had also stopped moving. So I went to the hospital, but again they said it wouldn't be my waters, and again they didn't check the pad I had caught it in. So they checked baby's heartbeat and sent me home but as I was so insistent, they said they would send me for a scan the following day to check the waters.

This scan confirmed my waters had in fact broken. So I was induced that day at 2 o clock. Contractions started at 4.45 but I didn't tell anyone for at least an hour. When DP and mum came back to the hospital they told a midwife and she said that I could not have two birth partners and mum would have to go home.

I was getting quite upset as I really wanted mum with us, but I was glad I had my DP, particularly as the only thing easing the pain was him rubbing my back. He was also being incredibly supportive.

The pains were fast becoming unbearable, and so I was sent for a bath. The midwife then came in and told me that DP would have to go.

At this point I was becoming hysterical and begging everyone who would listen to let my DP stay. They still sent him home. At this point I was just starting to dilate but only about a cm or less.

I was given pethadine which I didn't want, but the midwives did not want my birth plan. I was told that Prostin pains could be worse than contractions pains, and in my case this was true as it sort of threw me in at the pains of 10cms from the very beginning.

I was left alone in a room, but couldn't cope with the pain anymore, so I buzzed for a nurse who came but said I still coluldn't go to labour ward. She did an examination on my insistence and found that I had gone from less than 1cm to 4cms in half an hour. So I rang for my DP and he came straight away.

I went to labour ward and had gas and air but nothing was touching the pain and I'd gone a bit doolally by this point. They offered me the birthing pool which was a huge relief when I got in as it lifted the weight of the baby, however the contractions seemed practically twice as bad, so I got out and they were going to make me leave the room to let someone else have the pool until I said I needed to push. They got me to the bed and I was pushing for 17 minutes. Unfortunately the baby was sideways so as he came out I got a 2nd degree tear and some grazes.

BUT OH MY GOD I'D DO IT ALL A MILLION TIMES OVER FOR THIS GORGEOUS BUNDLE OF JOY.

He weighed 8lb11oz though he looks so skinny, but very long. He is the most perfect baby I've ever seen, and the surprising thing is, it's not even us being biased, everyone keeps going on about how he's so perfectly proportioned and gorgeous. Even DPS family who ALWAYS tell the truth

DP and I both cried when he was born and after I had a cuddle, DP held him for a while so I could get stitched. I had an en suite labour room and en suite room on the maternity ward afterwards which was fantastic.

Things have been a little tainted as Kaeden stopped breathing the day after he came home, and the ambulance came and we had to stay on childrens ward. He has apnia and gros reflux and he's choked 4 times since and stopped breathing so we've stayed on children's ward a couple of times. He has very bad colic so he cries when he's hurting. But he's a lovely chilled out baby when the colic's not hurting and absolutely beautiful.

So everything's amazing and we're still on cloud 9. It's brought DP and I even closer together and we've just booked our wedding.

Unfortunately my nana has contracted C Dif whilst in intensive care so I can't see my family incase the baby catches infection. Hense me having no access to the internet.

Hi

LM24 - Hope you feel better about things soon, think it's normal to get stressed out about things in the first few weeks especially when you are tired out etc, hopefully it will get easier as time goes on.

Mayx3 - congratulations on the arrival of Samuel! ds brings up milk quite often after feeding but as long as they're gaining weight and not being too sick I don't thing it's considered too much of a problem & quite normal.

Pina - dd has taken well to her new brother so far, better than I expected actually so hopefully that'll continue!

Well I've decided to bottle feed Jamie now as I was only able to breastfeed him every so often when he was in special care so he's more used to bottles and I'm not producing enough milk as he's already getting on for 10lbs at 2 and a half weeks. I'm still expressing a bit too so he's getting a mixture of that & formula, would have liked to have BF from the start but am happy now that I've made a decision as couldn't decide what to do for the best.

mumblesmummy - congratulations on the arrival of Kaeden! Sorry to hear that the hospital didn't treat you that well in labour, it must have been stressful. Also must be so scary for you when he stops breathing, I hope he's ok and you are managing ok. thinking of you. x

Birth Annoncment

Freya Rose was born at 00.28am this morning and weighed in at a whooping 9lb 1oz had a very intense labour but on the plus side managed to have a totally unplanned water birth which was great. and managed to leave hospital at 9.30 am

So glad to have gone on my own and not been induced but bloody hell bit it hurt more this time round!!

Full story when im not so knackered.xxx

for those that are mixed feeding

How the hell?? As you know my boy was a whopper at 11lb 2.5oz ...he was on the boob every 20 mins he slept one hour in 24 and my body/boobs just couldnt cope.

Now he'll be 2wks on friday and im still 'producing' milk....dripping!! So do you express? when do you give the breastmilk? do you give formula straight after? how often do you express?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me some guidance as im thinking of starting to express again....but am stuck between a rock and a hard place...and really beat myself up when I gave up bf.

cheers xxxx

Mumbles!! Omg!! what a horrid hospital!! So glad your little bundle is here but sorry youve had a rough time chicken!

congrats sweetbean

kangaandroo not sure what advice I can give about expressing to feed a hungry baby, but what I have learnt about expressing is to try and hold off until at least 4 weeks, if not 6 weeks, as they can get 'nipple confusion' although I have to say, both my BF babes took very easily to bottle (of EBM) and then breast again.

I started expressing last week when DD2 4 weeks old. I learnt from DD1 that the best time to do it is in the morning, as your boobs should be fuller, and if you can master it, feed him on one side and express on the other (you'll need to feed him in the rugby ball hold position). Don't worry about the boob being expressed running out of milk, as a lactation consultant told me once, 'it's a production line not a tank', so it doesn't actually empty as such...IYSWIM.

I personally try and express once a day, but not to top DD2 up, just to have a supply in the freezer for when I go out . I did this with DD1, and by 5 months when I had had enough of BF, I had enough milk in the freezer for her to continue having EBM for another 2 weeks .

Do you have a breast feeding support group locally? Or maybe trying ringing one of the helplines?? Or post a seperate thread on it....I did that with my clicking problems and found it very useful.

Good luck XX

asicsgirl OMG, you are sooooooo right about me, I am realising that I do expect too much from myself. I think I can be superwoman, keeping a spotless house and looking after a baby and toddler etc etc. I know I have to chill out a bit. I'm lucky cos DH is generally very good around the house. I think it's a control thing for me. Today, cos DH was at home, I managed 2 loads of washing, some ironing, tidy up etc, and that's what makes me feel better, cos I feel in control of things. I do try and chill out a bit though!!

I am feeling more chilled about the BF. I read on the kellymom website that if baby is gaining weight and 'mom' not too sore nipples etc, then it's nothing to worry about. How ironic that I was fine until I went to a BF 'support' group !!

I've just had a lovely evening out with my sis and some best mates. We went to a charity fashion show and then to Prezzo for a dessert and a cuppa tea.....very SATC....but without the cocktails!!! DH stayed home with DDs, and gave DD2 a bottle of EBM.

Hence I have just had to milk myself.

So nice to be feeling more positive. Gonna get DD2 weighed tomorrow, hopefully that will be re-assuring for me.

BBM how is your latch honey???!!

pina glad you had a good night out with DH, we will all be lightweights with the alcohol now, you're not alone!!

Night all, milking finished!!

LM74

btw, indigoblue you made me laugh calling me LM24 cos the 74 is the year I was born, so if it was 1924, that would make me 84 years old, the oldest mum on MN???!!!

congrats to mumblesmummy and sweetbean! what lovely names too.

lm74 oooh yes i know all about control freakery sorry to say it doesn't manifest itself in houseproud-ness with me but i do know what you mean. i thought of you actually reading this thread yesterday - not sure if this is helpful or not, but it made me feel a bit better about not doing the housework!! glad you had a good night out.

kanga when ds couldn't latch (or rather wouldn't) properly after about 4 weeks i expressed every time he had a feed - and built up stocks that way - although mind you i wasn't relaly producting very much at all -tops 100ml in a session from both sides.

GF might be able to help with expressing routines?

mummbles hope you are all ok and coping with what must be a scary situation. will be thinking of you allxxxx and what terrible treatment - you really do need to complain to the health trust about that - not checking the fluid etc is inexcusable especially if it looks greenish as you say!

xxx

mumbelsmummy just read your post properly - so sorry you had such a crap time in hospital - terrible treatment. but glad you are so happy with your new littl'un

LM74 - sorry about my typing error!

Kanga - I'm mixed feeding still as was expressing when Jamie was in special care although I've now decided to slowly reduce the expressing and go onto formula. I'm expressing in the morning when I get up, lunch time, and once in the evening for between 5-10 mins on each side.

At the moment I don't have a set way of using the EBM - if I've got enough I might give a whole feed using it and then any left over I mix with formula to make up next feed.

I think it can take a while to totally stop producing milk even when you're not feeding or expressing but you could carry on using breast pads until it stops if you decided not to express.

A bit of a warning as I?ve been having a rough time of it over the last few days. A colleague of my MIL has been on mumsnet, worked out who I am from the list of birth dates, names and weights and told my mil that I?ve been posting nasty comments about her. My mil is now really hurt, and I feel really terrible as I do class her as a friend as well as family and wouldn?t want to upset her. My own family are 3 hours drive away and she?s been a fantastic support since I met DP. I only used mumsnet to let off steam in the post birth days when we were all finding our feet.

Re mixed feeding. Because ds was so small when he was born the hospital advised me to breastfeed first and then top up with formula immediately after until my milk came through. I?ve gradually reduced the formula, finishing last week with one full feed of formula a day, immediately before bed.

Since he had bottles and breast from birth I have also been expressing, especially ahead of visitors as im not totally comfortable with bf in public yet. First thing in the morning works best for me as I think the milk is produced overnight so there is more, and it will last 24 hours in the fridge or 3 months in the freezer. Its probably stating the obvious, but I try to avoid expressing when it?s close to his feed time, but if he is messing and doesn?t drain me I sometimes express after he?s had a feed to be more comfortable, although you obviously get a lot less this way hth

o#'h YF what a nightmare - you poor thing. namechange? hope you are all ok and i know people can take things completely out of context sometimes. maybe a sit down chat with your MIL would help at all? she's been through birth (albeit a long time ago) and must realise that we are all v hormonal and up and down and letting off steam on here rather than in person would be better for all concerned?

xxx

DD2 put on 9oz this week

clicking? schmicking!!!!

LM74 xxx

Thought I'd joined you all already, but tried to find my announcement, and can't! Would love to read all the posts, but only have a short time to scan through.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Anyway, Alistair James arrived very quickly on 22nd May weighing 9lb 2oz, no time to get to hospital, midwife arrived 10 mins after birth. All a bit frantic, but lovely to get into my own bed after and we're all well.

Must go now and feed him again....

mumbles glad to hear you are OK. We were all worried about what had happened. You seem to be coping really well despite all you went through - newborns can be great therapy sometimes (and then send you loopy 5 secs later )

LM74 Not sure about how my 'latch' is. It's all a bit strange, things were going very well then one day sudden bad wind and green nappies, the next day sore bleeding nips (and pink milk!). Latch looks fine to me, I've done bf a fair bit by now and thought it was all going fine. tbh I'm going to ask the MW to check for tongue tie. The pain when he latches on some times is really bad. I'm beginning to feel like a total wimp, labour was v painful (despite epidurals and G&A) and now bf hurts a lot too what is going on???? .

On a better note the co-sleeping is going very well atm (cue disaster tonight). He slept well last night having only slept for just under an hour all day - my boobs did not like it much though so first bf of the morning was rather fast and furious .

DD2 is getting upset when I BF and has taken to kicking nuggets head once he has latched on - and that really hurts as he grabs hold to keep attached! Am going to have to work on stopping that one ASAP or my DCs are going to know every swearword in the book by next week!

kanga I mixed BF and bottles from day1 with DD1 - it wasn't planned tha way, that's just how things panned out. Can't quite remember what I did back then but I remember ignoring all the advice in the end and doing my own thing. I really think it is all down to individual circumstances but try to express when you know you won't need that milk i.e after a full FF or after you have finished BF. Alternatively just express from one side so you have a reserve should you need it. I topped up my expressed milk with formula as neccessary. DD1 had no problem switching from boob to avent bottles from day 1. I got so told off by my MW with DD1 that I kept DD2 off bottles until she was 8 weeks old (as advised) but she wouldn't take them until she was 7 months - and then would only take Tommee Tippee closer to nature ones. Not sure if that was down to the individual or because DD2 was so used to the boob by that age. I used an Avent ISIS manual breastpump and that worked well - although I think nothing is as efficient as a baby at extracting milk! I gave a total FF at night with DD1 and she slept through by 8 weeks. Because DD2 wouldn't take a bottle I had no option but to BF at night - cue waking every 30 mins for a feed for nearly 6 weeks at age 4.5 months!

Awwww thankyou all for your help......he wont go back on the boob....so my method of thinking was to hand express (or pump) not much comes off but only started last night...got half an ounce LOL. Then give him that in a bottle....then when finished give formula??

I must sound really thick but im so confused but I suppose any EBM is better than none? (< not in anyway to offend non bf'ers) Just hoping it might kill off my guilty conscience/beating myself up!

xxx xxx