January 08 shiny new - year babys , tired mums and dads!

[lilyloo]

Will that do

madmouse poor dh glad you are so positive you can help him through this and that he has told you how he feels. I imagine it must be hard, dp doesn't speak to his dad and both my dc's are mummys boy/girl and he finds that hard esp at bedtime when they are having melt down and all they want is me and i am feeding dd2. We are currently working on 'other peoples' feelings with them at the mo but it isn't easy.

Ange hope you had better night with Alek , can't believe they teething already! Glad you enjoyed barbecue and well done you on the one glass!

Nicky dd2 doing the same here fingers crossed it's passsing though had much better night last night!

Bluebell great positive outlook there and you are totally right you just have to embrace the good bits, having dc's means your body will never be the same again!

Gingeme you are entitiled to have imperfections being a mum of 5, i went to Bolton Abbey yesteray with family and there were loads of young women swanning aroung in bikins [shock and bum hugging shorts and i consoled myself they hadn't had dc's until one 6 ft svelte beauty walked past pushing twins she may have borrowed them

JKS hows things ?

Lucky so sorry dp isn't making the efforts he should. I agree with the others go your mums for a few days and get some sleep , rest. he will have time to miss you both, dd will get some time with her granny.Then think about things as others said you were talking of dc no2 not long ago so may6be it's all these other issues clouding how you feel.

Well we all ok had lovely day out yesterday and dp gone to speak to someone about job today. He now has opportunity of two jobs to go self employed doing mortgages in estate agents very local to home so can still help with child care with ds or to do something completely different with a fixed wage but a good hour commute therer and back every day.
We are in a real dilemma as the stability of the second job with the guaranteed wage appeals but the coomute will be awful , but the housing market is so unstable at the mo that the other seems a risk! Any thoughts we have been going round in circles all weekend!

Well we had another conversation yesterday (apparently I'm nagging) and i've said I don't see why I should have to do the house when i'm busy with Aaliyah. I've told him again i only want an hour a day to myself and he thinks he can manage it (the only thing is he thought that i'd had my hour today cos we went to the park and he took aaliyah off to play on the swings etc for abit - personally thats not an hour to myself)
I've told him i'm not having another child with him if he's going to act like one himself as i'm having enough trouble looking after DD and him. This (I think) has worked as he is deperate to have another one. I've told him from now on if he makes something in the kitchen and it is tidy with an empty dishwasher he is to put the stuff straight into the dishwasher. Also if he leaves a room he has to make sure that he's taken all plates etc with him. If he can do this, half of my job is done.

We went to the park today and so Aaliyah didn't have her mid morning sleep, so she just went into complete meltdown (screaming, kicking, scratching her face allsorts) I had to rock her to sleep and she's finally having a quick sleep now.

Well done lucky sounds like things are improving a little
George has done completely the opposite today. I put ds4 down for his nap at 11 as usual and noticed ds5 was yawning too so I put him in his cot where after a little bit of chatting and wriggling he fell asleep. He's still there now fast asleep !! I wonder what they put in baby rice . Gonna give ds4 his lunch now. Whats the betting ds5 will wake right in the middle of it ?

Hi everyone,

Hope you all are well. Feel so much better these days with family coming down and on Sat night we went out for a Balti and ice cream with some friends and it felt like I almost had a life (took the kids with us and by chance they were both good as gold) . Stayed up until about 11:30 which is my books at the moment is mega late.

Took both DD's to the park today and DD1 threw a major tantrum as she wanted to pick the flowers near the swings, which I said was a little dangerous and told her to pick the flowers near the sea-saw. She cried so loudly and for so long, and all the other mothers were staring at me, so I hid under my cap and made a fast escape - image a crying toddler underone arm and a pushing a buggy and trying to feed DD2 with my other arm - that was me!

Gigneme - I give Aliya baby rice about 7pm, milk and then put her down for her afternoon nap and that usuualy tides her over until 1am for a feed and then she wakes at 8am for the day.

Lucky - hope everything goes well with your DP - can't beleiev you are thinking of another one though!

Lily - have you come to a decision - personally I would prefer something safe and secure not a risk taker myself.

barristermum - cute pics!

Know the situation well Amani

Amani - You don't want more children? I'm really looking forward to having another one but im not doing it till we're better in our relationship and definatly not till DD is at least 1 as I want to spend time with DD first.

LO just had a little meltdown and is now asleep. He has been funny with his feeding on and off for a while now, I'm aware that the time he spends feeding is going down and down as he gets older, but recently he just cries for a feed and then only feeds for a few minutes, sometimes he pulls off and cries and I am pretty certain it is the teething again. I can really feel them in his gums now. I can't believe we are going to have months of this bother!

Also when he wakes at night (3 times last night, sigh) it varies as to how much feed he takes but if its only a "snack" my boobs get really full and sore, what happens to you BF ladies whose babies are lucky enough to sleep through, do your boobs just adapt?

Lucky obviously it's entirely your own chioce but for me I feel it's wise to wait a while before trying after a CS in any case so your scars can heal good and proper. Not sure of the medical "official" line on this but I am going to wait 18 months before TTC after my section.

would love to know what sort of routine other LOs are in - particularly anyone who is bfing. Also, anyone who has recently moved to mixed or ffing - how do youu find that works when they are used to having a short top up from breast?

example typical day for us:

7.30 awake
8.00 baby rice
9.00 feed
9.30 sleep
10.15 awake
11.00 feed
12.00 fruit/veg
12.30 feed
2.30 short feed, then sleep
4.00 awake, feed
5.30/6.00 fruit/veg + short feed
whingeiing for an hour or so
8.00 feed, sleep
9.00 wake & whinge
9.30 feed, sleep
2.30 feed
4.00 feed
5.30 short feed

Had an absolute nightmare day. The toughest yet.

Problem is (I think anyway) teething - Ben has been crying and whinging all day. He's had about an hour in total happy-time today and hardly any sleep. I've finally got him to bed but he's had no solid food since lunchtime, and only taken 3oz milk, so I can't see it being a good night.

Anyone got any tips for teething troubles? He's been chewing on a comforter, but this only reduces his full blown cries to whimpers, and mops up all the dribble. He won't chew on any other teethers, cold or otherwise, the homeopathic teething granules have had a negligible effect, and calpol teething gel soothed him for about 10 minutes.

I'm not sure if I can cope if he's the same tomorrow, especially as DH won't be around to help out.

Hi housemum- this is mine and Ruby's typical day of feeding...

7am Wake and bf for 20 mins, then we have a little play, bath and change, she settles in her chair for 30 mins nap
10am - wake and bf for 15 mins, then usually go out, little nap maybe
1pm- wake and bf for 15 mins
4pm- bf for 15 mins
7pm- bf for 15 mins, change for bed and down for the night...

Ruby sleeps through now... hope this helps, sometimes she feeds every 2hrs depending if she is having a growth spurt or if it is partically hot.

Ange my boobs adjusted after about a week of Ruby sleeping through, they practically hit the floor the first coupleo f mornings but they do adjust- like everything it takes time!!!!!

Naetha - I've found a little calpol (not the complete dosage) calms Aaliyah for a while, Also I let her chew my finger, or she'll chew on hers BUT I don't think she's teething properly yet so it'll probably get worse.

Feels like I have cried all day - missed her so so much. Found myself in the station toilets after i missed a train by 30 secs crying y heart out and DH and I have been tearful as i told him how hard I'd found it. DH and family v supportive, Cerys fine with my really good friend her childminder - was delightful giggling and kicking in bath tonight but I feel physically and emotionally bereft. Can't believe how hard it was.
So sorry as have read other posts and know how hard others are finding it with things beyond their control but just feel all wrung out and need support from all my lovely mumsnet ladies.

oh BM - I'm sure she will be fine but I can imagine how hard it is - I left DD with my mum last fri while I went to help my grandad - was only gone 3 hours but I missed her SO much so can only guess how hard it was for you. All I can think to do to help is to give you massive )))HUGS((((

When will it all stop

Just had a phonecall that my MIL in Holland has fallen in hospital after her dialysis and has quite possibly broken the same hip that put her in a care home last year...

The lady who helps her with her affairs is going to see her now and will call us. It is scary as they are considering surgery but as I said she is on dialysis and her heart is not great so surgery is not exactly safe.

We can't even hop in the car and head for the chunnel as we have just halved Nathan's meds and need to watch it a few days in case fits return and he does not have a passport yet. I am getting on the phone tomorrow to see how quickly we can sort a passport. Feeling lousy and worried, also about dh.

Just speaking to her now. She sounds drugged and confused.

Oh MM - )))hugs((( It never rains but it pours

MM so sorry about mil if you can go to Liverpool i think you can get a passport sorted asap. I hope she is ok

Barristermum poor you it does get easier once you get into a routine, you really have to focus on the new experiences she is gaining from going to a childminder. It must be so tough for you but she will be non the wiser i'm sure, bloody hell this mum lark is really tough! (((hugs)))

Ange they will adjust if not take advantage of expressing if mine get too full i can nearly fill a 40z bottle!

Amani so to see your feeling better, think we are leaning towards the 'safe' option too!

Bluebell at Rub sleeping through we couldn't be any further away !

Lucky fingers crossed it's worked you sound much stronger today ?

Gingeme what a good nap, i still need to get into the habit of putting Martha down in her cot for daytime nap!

Naetha sorry Ben sounds to be struggling, can you see teeth ?

Housemum we not weaning yet but our day is something like
7am wake
8.30 feed
9am sleep
9.45 wake and play
11.30 feed and sleep
1.00 wake and play
2.00 feed
2/3 sleep and play
4/5 feed
6.00 sleep
6.30 bath
7pm bed
11 feed
2 feed
5 feed

This is very rough!

Anyone help anymore with dilemma , please

Lilly - Sorry meant to put this in when I first read and completly forgot. I was working for a mortgage packager that had 50+ staff in September last year, just before december they were down to 10! things are bad at the moment. My honest opinion would be to get out of the mortgage business completely until it settles. If your DP has his CMAP there are plenty of other jobs he can get very well paid. Including working in the loans instead. I don't know if this helps, just an opinion

Thanks Lucky yes he does have cemap, the company he looking at with the commute would eventually train to an ifa role so all his eggs won't be in 'mortgage' basket so to speak.
Thanks though others opinions really helps esp experiences in current market!

If he can get IFA then he'll be landed so in that case go with the commute. Yes it'll be hard work and he'll be tired(er) but it'll be better in the long run. Good luck.

just spoken to the doctor and if the cardiologist gives the go ahead she will be operated on tomorrow she needs an urgent hip replacement as the head of the hip is broken in two. She would go to high dependency for a few days after. dh is numb and terrified. I think he is preparing himself for her not surviving surgery, has always been a glass half empty person and is already not in a great place.

Have said that if he feels he needs to be with her I will drive him to Heathrow and bung him ont he next flight to Amsterdam. He is worried about leaving me and Nathan alone now we have reduced his meds. I think more for me than Nathan but I will be fine.

Lilyloo, there is a passport office in London. The one week service takes at least three at the moment,the premium one day service is not available for first time applicants. I rang the helpline and was advised to ring back in office hours to see what can be done.

BTW Londoners: How do I travel with a baby in a push chair from Paddington to Victoria???

If the Brits don't help I will try the Dutch embassy. We are still Dutch citizens and Nathan is entitled to both nationalities so maybe they can help.

Feel a restless night coming up

What are you all doing about sleeping? I have all the windows open in our room and it's still an oven, ive taken to just letting DD sleep on top of her cover in her babygro but even then she seems too hot (really really red cheeks)

Oh I can't believe all this sadness on here tonight. I realy don't know what to add or say so Ill just send lots of (((hugs))) to everyone and hope the morning brings brighter and better days
George is just in a vest now though I have actualy just shut the window in our room as it feels quite chilly.
Well Im off to bed. Hope you all have as restful night as possible

Lucky dd very warm too but haven't opened windows as people leave evry early for work round here! Thini it will be night of many thirsty wake ups!
MM i think i would tell him to go and then you can join him if needs be. He will prob feel better if he sees her and you sound to have a good support network.
Not sure what the rule is on firt time aps. We got Martha's passport recently but it took couple of weeks.

Hi everyone

Sorry I've been away so long...apart from anything else, ds came down with chickenpox just over a week ago, one day after starting nursery, so I've been stuck at home entertaining a bored 2.5yr old!! He's getting over it now, itchy and scabby but was able to start nursery today, hurrah!!

This is going to be super fast as its taken me most of my bedtime reading hour just to catch up on the last few days (gosh we can chat, can't we?! ) and I've not got a clue what was going on before that - so Katy or Susie, feel free to fill me in!!

Tamara is doing great, still exlusively bf-ing and all good. She's sleeping 7.30pm to 7.30am (and sometimes a bit later) every day, although we do give her a 'dream feed' around 11pm. The only feeding issue I'm having is that she massively prefers having a bottle...she's only had a couple in the daytime when I was quite ill last week but it was a real fight to get her to latch back onto me again afterwards. Same thing happened after I gave her a bottle of ebm when we were out yesterday...so I guess I may not bf her for quite as long as I planned, as I was always planning to introduce a bottle for her mid afternoon feed once I start weaning her, to give me some more flexibility. If she decides to ditch her morning and evening bfs at that point I suppose I'll roll with it....

We're onto a 4 hour feeding routine now, which is so so so much easier than every 3 hours...so day is something like this:

7.30 Wake up, feed, nappy change, get dressed,play
9.30 Bed
11.30 Wake up, feed, nappy change, play
1.30 Bed
3.30 Wake up, etc etc
5.30 Short nap
6.30pm Feed, bathtime, bedtime routine
7.30pm Bed

Right then, far too late for a proper catch up but big hugs to everyone, especially Madmouse, Mixedmama, Barristermum, Lucky and Amani, as you all sound as though you're having a rough time of it at the moment...

Naetha- Ben is totally gorgeous!!

Barristermum - will call you for a chat soon

Katy - hiya!!

Gingeme - I, too, am in awe of your total control!!!

OK, dh is grumbling that I should be going to sleep instead of tapping away...so (((big hugs))) to all you wonderful ladies, hope to catch up properly soon

Filly xxx