January 08 shiny new - year babys , tired mums and dads!

[lilyloo]

Will that do

lucky, we have routines of a sort...basically they involve getting dh, dd and ds1 out of the house on time for work/school and picking dd & ds1 up from school, feeding them and getting them to wherever they need to be. poor little Patrick has to fit in with the others, and i feed him/nappy change when i get time to! we walk the dogs, he lies on the play mat, or sits in his pram if i'm wanting to get on with jobs outside, if he's fussing and wanting cuddling, i'll put him in the sling to get on with stuff, or if i'm tired too, i'll sit down in front of the laptop and feed him! good excuse to spend time on mn!!!! When the big kids are home from school and not doing homework they'll sometimes sit and play with him. And Daddy has him for quite a while some evenings so I can have a break, although I get yelled as soon as he squawks! lol

He will usually wake with me around 6, nappy change, feed and then doze for a while after Daddy's gone to work at 6:30, then wake in time for me to have to make lunchboxes one-handed if I haven't already done them! We walk kids to school setting off at 8:20 (supposedly - HA! Add 10 mins!) then walk dogs on way home, usually getting back at around 9.30/45 (unless, as today, we have to go to the vet for yet another checkup and didn't get home til 11.30!) Some days he'll have fallen asleep in the sling and I can sneak him into his hammock and he'll stay asleep for a while; other days he'll wake up almost immediately. If he's quite happy to sit and play, i'll get on with stuff, if not, i won't. He's been v clingy for the last couple of days, but i'm sure he's teething, so that'll be why! (house looks like a bomb's hit it, but hey ho! the world ain't gonna end!) sometimes he'll have a long nap during the day, sometimes not. i follow what he wants more-or-less. he's just gone of to sleep now, but hardly slept during the day at all today. i've never left my babies to cry (tried once, just couldn't do it-made me too )

evenings vary depending on who's doing what but he's generally nappy changed and ready for bed (with or without a bath depending on chaotic-ness of evening ) by 8-ish, and will be asleep somewhere between 8 and 10. he sleeps downstairs in the hammock until i go up to bed, and then in bed with me. he'll dreamfeed when we go up to bed, (around 12 then that's usually it til 5/6ish. i don'tthink he wakes in between times, but couldn't say for certain cos i've always made a point of NOT noting when he wakes/how long for/feeds etc in the night. it doesn't seem so disruptive if i don't think about it too much iyswim

i forget - are you bf or ff? cos the feeding to sleep thing obv works a treat if bf. have never ff so couldn't offer advice from that point of view! have always cuddled/fed mine to sleep, and the bigger 2 were never a pita re bedtimes later on. i took no notice of my darling mum when she told me (repeatedly) that i was "making a rod for my own back" with co-sleeping etc! ds1 would never sleep in the cot (i did try!), so co-sleeping meant exactly that-sleeping!

hope this makes sense...i keep adding bits here and there, and have been typing it off and on for the last hour, so forget what i've said already!

Blimey! at v long post! sorry!

Hi folks,

On routines -

Cerys sleeps through the night from her dream feed at 10.30pm to 7am when she sometimes wakes naturally and sometimes we wake her. She feeds and will then play with us in bed for an hour and a half to 2 hours (book and ollie the Octopus) before needing another nap of about 45 mins to an hour. I feed her at 10.30 and after babygym or bouncy chair then she will need another sleep around midday for an hour and a half to 2 hours. I feed at 2.30pm and then she will sometimes go through the whole afternoon without a snooze. (babygym, visiting friends, stroll out and about either in pushchair or babybjorn) Sometimes tho' she needs a catnap of 15 mins or she hits meltdown before her bath at 6pm and last feed at 6.30pm. I put her in her cot at 6.45-7pm and she goes to sleep by herself till her dream feed.

I definitely think routine is very important to her - even if she is having a stressy afternoon (I think she's teething and sometimes that makes her grumpy) when it comes to 6 and we start the bath time routine she visibly relaxes. Once I tried to slightly change something and she did not enjoy her bath nearly so much as she was thrown.

I make a point of not putting her down asleep - I would slightly wake her to put her down if she had fallen asleep feeding just so she knew where she was going to sleep and didn't get used to me rocking her asleep. .

Lucky - I think timing is key so you don't have too much crying when you put them down. If Cerys is left to cry she often just works herself up into a temper she cannot get past. (I don't mean the little cries that come just before she drops off and isn't quite there but the cries of outrage at being put down when she's too awake and wants to play). Babywhisperer is good on this - going back to them, doing whatever it takes - patting/cuddle whatever to stop the crying and as soon as crying stops putting them back down - we mixed that in with crying for up to 5 mins and then returning to get Cerys into the daytime routine and it broadly worked without too much pain.

Sorry if that is too mammoth a post - hope it addresses questions.

Hi all

Nathan has finally had his first round of jabs today. He seems fine. I gave him calpol an hour beforehand, so at 1.30, so that is long worn off. He seems a teensie bit warm but that may be from lying on top of me all the time. He is feeding happily and smiling and talking. Asleep now, I have popped him in his cot to see if he cools down, if not give him some more calpol. Because of his history of seizures we need to try and avoid fever.

He has had an exciting day though, he has suddenly got the hang of grabbing and holding things and so does it non stop. He is also combining sounds to make longer 'words'.

He was a picture when the jabs hit him. He was so enraged he initially did not even make a sound, went completely apoplectic. Made me laugh. Once home he had a hungry feed and then slept for hours. I hope we have a good night and that he is himself again tomorrow. Better have an early night in case.

Re: routine. I have just started to get up with him after his meds at 7.30. It means that by 8.30-9 we are both dressed and fed and it is not afternoon by the time the morning starts . Other than that I feed him when he tries to latch on to anything that moves and get him to nap once he starts to make cranky sounds. We don't do a routine in terms of hours, but then I don't mind the night feeds and still breastfeed, so sleeping through is not an issue for me.

Just crossed with Dotsie and really interested in the differences - just shows how you have to do what works for you and that will be different for everyone - Cerys is formula fed now and has been since 12 weeks, but was mixed fed until then and exclusively breast fed until 6 weeks - we started night time routine at 4 weeks. She has also slept in her own room from 3 weeks and a cot rather than carrycot from 8 weeks.

I don't stick to strict routine bout we have fallen into feed-activity-sleep structure to the day. Although I do split the feeds in 2 with some activity in between because it takes both sides of the breast to feed him. And I do feed him to sleep sometimes, and he sleeps in my arms a lot .

Either morning or afternoon we get out and do something either walk to town or to baby cafe etc. Evening = Dad's time: Bath at 6, play, in bouncy chair while we eat, top up bottle and bed about 8. TBH he settles really well after his top up. I used to do a lot of rocking and cuddling but I think with hindsight I was putting him down before he was ready to sleep. Now if he stirs we go up and put a hand on him and shush him and he generally settles back down - only if he gets worked up I would pick him up and rock him or feed him. He then sleeps til about 11.30 - midnight and usually feeds again about 3.30-4am. He will sleep til either 6 or 7 but needs another hours sleep after that first morning feed, I can get him back in his cot or we have a cuddle and doze after DH has gone to work. This all tends to go to pot at weekends of course .

Glad jabs were ok MM. Sabela slept a lot on the first day too, but she was a bit cranky the next day. Hope this isn't your experience. Bath ans Calpol settled it though.

Routines-ish,

We get up around 7, or 8-9 if we've had a play in bed like at weekends. She's often had a feed in bed before that. Around mid-morning, after second or third feed (I let her feed whenever she wants) she has another sleep and this can be 20 mins to an hour. If we're out at lunchtime she'll often have another sleep in the sling. And then she'll probably have another sleep in the afternoon. This is usually a longer sleep.

She often likes a play after a feed, so we often go feed, play, feed a little bit and then sleep.

In the evenings we start the bath thing around 7.30. She usually falls asleep betweeen 9-10 (9 today - yay!). She sometimes wakes at midnight, sometimes at four and sometimes she goes all the way through until 5-7.

As you can see I'm not at all strict! I plan to gradually start putting bath earlier as she gets to sleeping longer.

I often think I should sleep her more but the thought of spending hours shushing isn't appealing and usually it works ok. We can have fireworks in the evening, but not as bad as a few weeks ago.

One thing I do know is that if I put her down awake as Lucky's HV suggests, she probably wouldn't sleep at all! She's always either half asleep or completely. I often shush her with my hand or with a short cuddle if she cries. It works better with time. What di other people think about this?

Susie that's the problem i am hoping she isn't 'one of those' ds was 3

Amani, hope dd ear infection clears up soon poor her and you, nightmare about the nursery fees. I think everwhere is feeling the tightening of belts and they trying to compensate that by increasing the fees but the parents just won't have the money! DP has gone job hunting today and last night we discussed it may not be worthwhile me returning to work

Betterhalf glad Toby's jabs went well!

Lucky glad you and she enjoyed the swim
I think it's natural to run to them more when it's your first as you have the time. It depends how you feel about letting her cry. I did this with ds and we had terrible issues of him getting to sleep on his own but because he was my first he was my learning curve i guess. I wasn't happy letting him scream it out so i guess we lived with the fact that he had no routine and was a poor sleeper.
Since him with the dd's i have been much stricter and stopped co sleeping very early and put them both down for a sleep whilst they were awake and they have both settled fine doing this. If it's a problem for you you really need to untrain her using you as a prop for sleep. This may take some controlled crying and only you know how long you could listen to that for.

MM glad the jabs went ok today and you finally got them

Well thanks all for the routine post! It's really interesting actually as when you describe your routine's i thoguht Martha didn't have one but i can see she does loosely have one too. I am very strict on bedtime though and she is always bathed at 6.30 and in bed for 7. She then sleeps until 11 but still wakes for a 3 am feed and is up at 6! But them i suppose i am lucky in that she always settles herself i put her in the cot awake and leave her and sometimes i hear her gurgling on the monitor but she will fall asleep on her own.
I guess we all have our own issues and am relieved that Martha seems quite similair to everyone else , obviously no two babies will be the same! She just seems more of a cat napper through the day than having a long nap after lunch but lot's of you seem to do the same!

Although barristermum that is a great rotuine there and am very of the 10.30 till 7 when you have to wake her that's what i thought generally on Martha cat napping more through the day rather than having that big sleep after lunch as i am sure that makes a big difference to eliminating that 3 am feed!
interesting !

And she goes down at 6.45 too !
Well done you!

Lucky have you read the 'no cry sleep solution' might be worth a go!

Susie i personally wouldn't put dd down asleep either but only because i did with ds and we have learnt the hard way

Sorry for multiple posts keep seeing things to reply too

Sorry Lilyloo - I didn't mean to be depressing. I just meant to say it probably isn't you doing anything 'wrong'.

thanks Susie i can laugh about ds now he is 6 i have finally got over it

Well Alek and I have just been along to vote, and he and I are in the photo shoot for our local BF calendar later (as are all the BF mums in our group). I have actually straightened my hair and put some make up on . Need a trowel to disguise the eye bags though. Fragolina was it you recommend slathering on loads of moisturiser, I have an additional recommendation and that is the new Minerals make up that is around now. It does wonders for my knackered visage and doesn't react with my sensitive skin either!

DS is still clingy today after his jabs yesterday. I go to do everyday things to him, like change his nappy or pop him in his chair and it's as if I were torturing him .

Poor ds Ange

Problem now dd has been aslepp since 11.30 so actually having afternoon nap ! Do i wake her for baby massage ?
Or leave it ?

Typical, Nathan did not sleep as well as normal after his jab, but mostly because a) Maltitol in Calpol made him poo a lot and b) He was wide awake after midnight feed and took an hour to settle . At least he was grinning and gurgling not crying and having a fever.

Today he is the same as Alek, a bit cranky, although lots of smiles too. I turned a planned trip to the supermarket into a quick one to the cornershop as he was not happy in the pushchair either. I am sure he will be himself again tomorrow, when we have a meeting with friends and a new baby group. Today we just kick the leaves. He is lying on a blanket gurgling and kicking as I type, but then he just napped for nearly 2 hours on top of me. It was all I could do to stay awake myself as I am used to more sleep

for money worries. Feeling very privileged as a ministers wife that we will have a house free of rates and a stable income. Am even wondering whether to chuck in my beloved job. Not sure I want to miss Nathan's early days or to leave it to someone else to stimulate him to enable his brain to function as well as it can. Not due back until December though, so will consider the position in September...

Afternoon ladies. I think Ive put my foot in it on another thread about Mums who are not ashamed to have ff I kind of gave my opinion and ran off oops.
Can I ask what size nappies is everyones lo's in? George is in size 3 already! Hes been briliant today. Real smiley and giggly. Its going so fast its unbelievable. Just can't believe hell be 4 months in 9 days time. Better make the most of it while I can as hes my last one
I don't know how to do another thread about a meet up but is anyone interested if so when?
Well lord muck is squirming for a feed so better say ttfn xx

Toby's in a size 3 nappy. Had some right nappy explosions today and am assuming its a side effect of the jabs. Happy and cheerful little man as usual and found the exloding nappies and Mummy trying to change him without getting poo all over him ( and Mummy!)reason to giggle!

Betterhalf, could it be the calpol instead of the jabs? Or did you not give him any?

Ginge, don't think you were particularly unreasonable

OMG! Just read a load of that thread gingeme and it's EXTRAORDINARY! How superior are some of those wome! There is something seriously obsessively compulsive about quoting every remark impliedly referring to you and replying individually and something highly disingenuous about denying feeling superior when saying everyone who isn't doing as you advocate is making the worse of 2 choices. And I'm with LFTS on women who breastfeed 3 year olds!!!!

I know its turned into a right slanging match look at the last post I did. I thought it was funny. Wonder if anyone else will

Hello all, having a really tough week this week.

Ben has started teething, and I think is one of the main reasons he is sleeping poorly at the moment. He will wake up screaming, which he has never done before, and tonight took an hour to settle to sleep. He's also struggling loads during the day, and will have really grumpy periods of up to an hour where he does nothing but cry. I do find this quite upsetting, as he's a baby that will only cry when something's wrong - i.e. in pain, hungry, overtired etc.

It hasn't helped that my emotionally supportive, but practically useless DH has been out almost every night this week for one reason or another (genuine reasons to be fair - it's not like I suspect him of having an affair or anything!) and I've been by myself all throughout the day from when DS wakes up, to when I put him to bed, and then DH has been getting home around 9. We then have had an hour together, then gone to bed at about 10:30. He doesn't help at all during the night, and my morale has just been getting lower and lower. To add to the cheek of it, he then goes on about how tired he is. Last weekend he did the midnight feed for the first time ever(he wasn't even in bed, he was on the computer) on the Saturday night, and then had to have a 2 hour nap on the Sunday to "catch-up". It doesn't help that this week Ben's been especially grumpy, but it has meant that I've been in tears come the morning. (Oh, and regardless of whether Ben is asleep or not, DH always insists I get up with him to keep him company...I might try the same for the night time feeds).

Apologies for the bitching, but I feel much better now!

It's been interesting reading other peoples' routines - as mentioned previously Ben isn't a great sleeper, or rather he doesn't have any problems settling (usually anyway) but will often wake soon after. I guess I am in a way letting him use me as a prop to fall asleep though as he doesn't settle any other way, other than occasionally the dummy. I've tried putting my hand on his chest, patting him, shushing him etc, and it just doesn't make a blind bit of notice, and the longer I leave him to cry, the more worked up he gets. I haven't had the bottle to let him cry it out yet (and not sure if I want to go down that path at all tbh), and I think I might try and get the no cry sleep solutions book from the library.

As far as routines go, it's more baby-led than me-led. He goes to bed at between 6:30 and 7, and usually has 2-3 baths a week. We'll change him, get him in his grobag, and then feed him in his bedroom with the curtains drawn and the tomy music box playing. Usually he will drain 8-12oz, and is asleep by the end. If he's not actually asleep, then he's sleepy enough not to wake up properly when I put him down. He then wakes up several times in the night, usually at about midnight, 3, 5 and then depending on the night will wake up every 20 minutes or so until I give in at about 6 - 6:60 and take him downstairs, or if it's teething or wind that's keeping him awake, I'll take him into bed with us where he sleeps on my chest, but I rarely sleep well in that position. Either way, we're usually awake by 7, and downstairs by 7:30. Usually he doesn't seem hungry until about 8, so I will give him a formula feed about then (usually about 6-8oz). We will have a brief play, then he will usually fall asleep in my arms, and have a nap at around 9 - 9:30 for 45 minutes. I'll usually use this time to express and do some housework. When he wakes up we have more play time, time in his bouncer, on the floor, or in his rocker in the kitchen while I do the washing / general housework. He can be quite demanding at the moment, and I can't leave him alone in a room for more than 5 minutes before he starts to grizzle. Having said that, sometimes he can amuse himself for almost an hour, it all depends on the mood! If I'm going to a baby group, it's usually at this time, between 10:30 and lunchtime. He'll have another feed around 11, and then more play time until about 12:30 - 1, when he'll have a decent sleep for about an hour to an hour and a half. This is when I usually have my lunch and watch some TV. He'll have another feed at about 2, and then for the rest of the afternoon we'll try and go for a walk or do an outside activity, or if the weather's poor have a repeat of the morning. He'll then have a feed at about 5, followed by a power nap for 20 minutes or so. DH will come home around 5:45 and cook the dinner which we'll eat with Ben in his bouncer/rocker, then bedtime at around 7. His routine always gets disturbed if he sleeps in his pushchair or car-seat as it never seems to actually refresh him, but he won't want to go to sleep again after, so I'll often have a grumpy baby on my hands for an hour or so.

Sorry this is such a long post! I rarely get this much time on the computer!

Apologies for lack of personals as well - I do read all your posts though, and even if I don't respond to them here, they do make me smile when I read them give me support when I'm pacing up and down at 5am!

Hugs to all xx

Oh Neatha you sound realy down . Why do men think they have the right to have 8 or more hours sleep and expect us to carry on our day on less than 4? It does make me mad. Granted my dh does work till about 1 am 5 nights but the two hes not working he either goes to the pub which means he doesn't get in till about 12 or hell sit on the pc till 1 am anyway. Then hell walk around all day moaning hes tired or hell have a sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
Unfortunately Ive never been one to sleep in the day. If anything it makes me feel more tired but it might be nice once in a while if he got ds5 up at 7 when he wakes so I can have an extra hour or two in bed.
There Ive got that off my chest now too thanks Neatha.
Do you give your lo anything for his teething? Anbesol liquid is very good as it numbs the area and you can use it every 20 mins if need be. Its for allsorts of mouth and teeth problems. I use it for all the boys teething. Good luck.

Alek has been in size 3 nappies for a while! It hasn't been long since I started putting him in 3-6 clothes and already some of these eg vests, sleepsuits and dungarees seem a bit tight - i think because he is so long, especially in the torso. He is following his line on 91st centile fine so is not gaining excessively. And he didn't double his birth weight by 3 months otherwise I would have a 22lb baby on my hands! But I guess he will grow out of his car seat well before 9 months at this rate. We seemed to get a lot of 3-6 clothes as presents for him but I have hardly anything in 6-9. Time to start trawling Freecycle I think.

Oh Naetha, I know how soul destroying the broken nights are. Strangely Alek has been waking only twice the last 3 nights - since I taped up the window blind to make it darker in the room. I usually go to bed quite early so I get a couple of hours in before his first wake up of the night. I BF him at night but his evening top up is the 2nd milk and that seems to give him a good 4 hour stretch. You need to get your DH to give you an afternoon off, after all Ben gets bottles doesn't he, of EBM or FF, so it's do-able! then go to bed and sleep for a few hours, to recharge your batteries Alek has started teething too, I have given him calpol a couple of times, it does knock him out but hey at least it takes their pain away. and Anbesol too on the gums is good. HTH xxxx

Naetha, big hug
I know how you feel. Nathan had colic between weeks 3 and 10 and the screaming is very draining. I also bore the brunt as DH genuinely did not cope with the crying and ended up pleading with Nathan to tell him what was wrong and could he please please stop. It was easier to hold him myself, apart from when I was getting ready for bed, which I did so that I could drop off as soon as Nathan did. To be honest it sounds like your DH needs to do some more housework. Or maybe it is easier to let things lie. I am a bit concerned how tired you are and then reading about you doing housework all the time. Although if youa re like me mess stresses you out more

Have you read the baby whisperer? It really helped me with understanding Nathan and it has really made this a more peaceful house, even though I do not follow her 'easy' routine.

X post with you Gingeme, great mind think alike . BTW I liked your montage, and your comment on the BF/FF thread, apart from people giving helpful advice on that thread there always seems to be a lot of people who jump down your throat on the for or against debate doesn't there.