April 2004 Babies - seventh heaven!

[Turkiegirl]

Needed a new thread...

DD2 is much better today, she ate some fruity toast for her tea last night and loved it. And it didn't reappear an hour later either!
Have been to a mnmeet in Harrogate today, DD2 is starting to enjoy play dates now, especially this one as there was a fantastic baby section for her to play in!

Re 8 month checks. Hv left a message on our phone before Christmas to arrange it, I still haven't called her back. Dd was 9 months on Monday

My Hv has tried to appoint ds for an 8 month check 3 times now. I have cancelled 3 times. Is this really so bad??? - I was kind of thinking that I know that ds' development is fine, and I can't be arsed to go to the Doctors surgery. Now beginning to feel doubtful - do you think I should re-appoint?

Up to you HMC. I will probably ring to to see what's happened to dd's check as I would be interested to know what she weighs (haven't had her weighed for 3 months or so, and don't have any scales at home).

HMC - I know what you mean - I don't think we would have phoned for an appointment if they hadn't have sent one. I suppose it's just reassuring - even though you know your ds is doing fine, it's nice to have someone else say the same thing! I also wanted to get ds weighed and measured as I'm always a bit concerned about his size, and it was nice to hear HV wasn't worried. Talking of which, he's wearing an 18 - 24 month top today and it's skin tight...Can't believe we might have to think about moving him in to 2 - 3 year clothes soon - am going to stop feeding him immediately!!

dot1 - know how you feel, ds is bigger than my friends 2 year old in his defence, she's a small 2 year old...
Have they measured his height? ds is around the 99th centile for both so I'm not so worried now.

How much is everyone eating now? ds is having 3 meals of around 6 cubes each meal, plus 18oz of milk, and occasionally a slice of toast or a satsuma as a snack.
Although if he goes to MIL it's a bag of quavers, rusks and god only knows what else

lunavix - NWYM on the MIL and in fact DM front , DM thinks I am barby warrying so much about ds diet and getting him to eat veg etc , but i say again just look @ my DB and sis they both have diet relatated issues and allergies , surely it is best to try and take to advice o to try and avoid them later on ??
ds ins in the 91 percentile thingy , find it comes in handy @ nursary so when other kiddies crawl over him as they do , it does not worry him at all !! ha ha

yes - ds is 99th centile for height aswell, so that's why HV isn't worried.

He's currently eating about 1 1/2 weetabix for breakfast, then about 7 savoury cubes, round of toast with almond butter (yum!) and pot of dessert for lunch and the same again for tea. Plus breadsticks or crusts to chew on. And 21 oz of milk.

Oh dear.... no wonder he's so big....

ds is tiny in comparison to your lot - although he has always been a little bit dinky from the word go. I don't know why as I'm 5 11 and dh is 6 2. Maybe he'll catch up. although I think thats why he's been crawling since 6 mo and cruising since 8mo. but he doesn't eat v. much - more a grazer than a big portion eater - I think he gets bored.
He still has quite a lot of milk for bfast - maybe 8 or 9 oz then maybe a banana, what ever he gets at nursery for lunch, 8 oz of milk during the afternoon and then half a shepherds pie and peas, or salmon and baked potato, a yoghurt and a slice of eggy bread for tea and then 5 oz milk for bedtime.

not to worry tracey , i got no idea why ds is a little sumo , I am 5ft 2 and medium build dh is about 5ft 8 and rake at 9 1/2 stne lucky bugger

Dot,

Don't worry about your ds size - he's just a big strong lad!

I don't really have much to add on here these days.
Poor dd seems to have a terminal cold and has recently developed a nasty cough. She also has eczema, a fact which I have been denying myself for ages - I really hope it goes away.
I really am glad of dd's nursery but sometimes I really wish I didn't work full-time, even though I love it. Last November dd had what was called 'dribble eczema' around her face. I was convinced it got worse when she went to nursery and I asked them kindly not to use the Johnsons baby wipes on her face. I use pampers sensitive at home but on her bottom only, I wet a piece of kitchen paper at home for her face. Anyway, in response to this they switched to pampers sensitive wipes as I had had no problems with these. Well, the chapping around her face didn't improve, it just got worse and worse to the point she couldn't help but scratch it. I was mortified one morning when I picked her up out of her cot and discovered she had scratched herself and was bleeding. It had got so bad I tried scratch mits, to no avail, she just cried because she couldn't suck her fingers.
Finally, on advice from a GP I put hydrocortisone ointment on her face. It's purpose was to reduce the heat in the rash, this would stop her scratching it and give it an opportunity to heal. I put it on that night and the result was dramatic! The angry redness had gone and the effect to look at her was startling and I realised how bad it had become. Looking back on photographs now, I could cry.
Thankfully, it was now only a few days until Christmas and I didn't want to ask the nursery to use the hydrocortisone. So with treatment and lots of Vaseline at night she looked 'back to normal'.
Then back to nursey after Christmas and after about the second day when I went to pick her up, I saw her sitting in a highchair with this ghastly red, chapped cheeks again. I really couldn't help myself, "Oh my God what has happened to her face, I had that sorted!!" I was sooo upset.
Finally, the nursery accepted the fact that it might be the wipes, even sensitive ones, and have since stopped using them. Dds beauty is intact.
Sorry to go on ladies, it's just that this whole sorry saga really makes me wish that I didn't have to work full-time. I don't know anyone else that does and it's really beginning to get me down.
I really doubt I could find a nicer nursery, the problem is all mine, I just want to look after her myself. FGS, my whole working life has been looking after other people, why can't I look after my own???

Hi MrsDoolittle - sorry to hear about your dd's excema. My neice gets really bad excema and it's really upsetting to watch her try not to scratch it and she's 10 now!! Is there any way you could go part-time? I'm part time at the moment but we are seriuosly considering me giving up all together as i've found going back to work very stressful. I think sometimes you can manage if you really want to although it's going to be so tough - it will be like being a student again and eating pasta and tomato ketchup for tea!!!

MrsD, sorry to hear about the problems you've been having - it's good that the nursery have stopped using the wipes on dd's face now though. I tend not to use wipes at all after introducing them just before going back to work and finding they either caused or aggravated nappy rash (these were unperfumed 'sensitive' ones too!)
I think there are several people who work full-time on mumsnet - why not start a thread to ferret some of them out? Or is going part-time an option, as LucyJones suggests?

ahhh mrs d , so sorry to hear thet you are feelin bat , u no being at home is not all that , for one thing there is fern and ohil , bless 'em was watching the other day and they said that baby wipes contain the same stuff as anti-freeze ( v diluted ) , somethime it is just best not to know.
after 9 mths I am considering going back to work as starting to go a bit stir crazy with no one but a 9 mths old to talk to - horses 4 courses

Mrs D - sorry to hear about the skin problems. can you put it in writing for the nursery - i.e. only water and cotton wool, no wipes, and tell them it's your GP's orders? (always good to cite the doctor - not that the average GP knows much about babies but still...)
I never use wipes as am sure they give nappy rash as well as excema type problems.

working full time is very hard with a baby. didn't you start with the idea you'd take dd out of nursery some days - did that happen?

I did hope that I would be able to take dd out of nursery sometimes, as you say Fennel. However, I can't seem to have a day when I haven't got something to do. I am teaching again til Tuedsay so I should be able to stay at home with her on Monday but the last two weeks have been so horrendously busy I desparately need the time to prepare and sort stuff out for next weeks sessions. Add to that we are being boody audited in February by QAA. Just my luck they are coming into my area!! My manager is stressed, I guess it's rubbing off!!
I can't reduce my hours as I am fully workloaded until September. I can't beleive I am sounding so pathetic over this. Listening to dd coughing now in her sleep is breaking my heart

Mrs D - not sure whether to post on this or your other thread. you sound as though you are having a truly horrible time. fwiw I do work full time as well, though cos the hours are so flexible I only do a 3.5 day week most weeks, and then sometimes evenings and weekends which ramps the hours up (that's just cos you say noone else you know is working full time). and also I was unprepared for how I'd feel leaving my 3rd child to go back to work - I guessed more accurately for the other two but underestimated how hard it would be to leave dd3 - it's still harder to leave her.

I think the suggestions on the other thread are good - consider either a 4 day week even though it'll be tougher financially, or take some parental or dependents leave now and let work suffer - better than you and dd suffering.

maybe it's seasonal affective disorder which is getting to you too? I am always an emotional wreck in January, tearful for no reason at all half the time.

I know your right Fennel. If I wasn't so afraid of losing face. I don't know why.
My work colloeagues couldn't be more supportive, maybe that's why?

I don't think it's really losing face. and maybe better to cut down the hours now than let it carry on and get ever more stressed out. it's so hard to tell how often they will be ill. whenever my first two got ill I always felt I would have to give up work altogether as it was just impossible. Then this year none of them have really been ill at all (but I'd arranged all the childcare on the assumption they'd all miss lots of days so paid for extra nursery days which we now don't need). you just can't anticipate everything.

Mrs D - I work full-time aswell, and even though ds is at home with dp, I still hate being away from him for so long, and my biggest fear is that he won't think of me as being his Mummy - just some adult he sees from time to time (although dp thinks this is bonkers....). I negotiated to work slightly flexibly - up to 1 day a week at home but not a fixed day of the week. In reality now I'm busy it's difficult trying to escape early, but I do try to pencil in at least one afternoon a week where I can leave early - I'm always contactable via our wireless e-mail system and often bring bits of work home.

It's really difficult...Can you work flexibly maybe? Knowing I can leave early makes a difference psychologically - even if in reality it doesn't happen every week.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) - I don't seem to have that problem - I dropped ds off at nursery thie morning and soon as the girl came out to collect him - he had his arms out to her and he was off - even before she was fully out of the doorway! I don't know whether to be glad or sad!

MrsD

Sorry to hear that you are down. It must be very tough doing full time. I think Chuffed works full time too.

Sorry to be direct - but is it vital for you to have the money that comes with full time work, or can you manage on a part time salary? If the latter, IMO I think you have to put to the back of your mind any fears about 'loosing face' and discuss part time options with your employers. For your own sanity and peace of mind.

If you have to work full time because you are dependent on the income, perhaps some of the other suggestions (e.g. working 4 days only, but longer days) might be a compromise?

I hope you work this out because the current situation seems to be making you unhappy

Thank Ladies, I honestly don't know what to do. I am hopping there is a little lightbulb in my head that will suddenly light up when the answer drifts in to my head.
Dh is under the impression that after this bout of illness, dd will be better and then we will be into spring and we can just carry on. I have listened to him and I haven't corrected him as yet. I know any talk of me reducing my hours now is going to upset the applecart.
To be honest, it's not the hours as they are very flexible. I only have a couple of days of fixed working hours at the moment. It's the workload, I have to be thinking of so many things at once. When dd is unwell I'm just find myself dying to get out the door to go to her when it would be better if I stayed and caught up with everything. As a result work is sliding. Now I am sounding even more pathetic, my job isn't even 9-5!
I'm going now.

TraceyK - you should be glad he likes nursery. it really does make life easier.

Mrs D - I keep replying as I can relate so easily to your hassles. my job is like that - flexible hours but demanding workload. That's why even though I would like to cut my hours down, and would be allowed to formally, and the financial difference isn't huge, the workload wouldn't decrease significantly.

you don't sound pathetic at all. some more suggestions - could your dh take some time off? is there any bit of your workload you could drop? (in my job it's always the best bits which are easiest to drop, like the foreign trips, sadly). can you arrange to work more from home and then pick up dd at 2pm sometimes and work a bit that evening?

it does get better on the sickness front. as summer comes on and as they get a bit older.

I think, hopefully, you are right Fennel. I just need to organise myself. As you say, dropping a day wouldn't reduce my workload really. With the new year I have been hit with a load of new responsibilities and with dd looking so ill and managing to appear so stoic about it I've just panicked. With so much of the work I am starting from scratch. Lately, I haven't been able to give 100% to anyone, dd, dh, my students or my colleagues.
I know she is happy this morning though. Dm said she woke her up at 8.45 this morning. I heard her chattering away in the background.
I'd have had to wake her at 7 and hand her over to the nursery at 8.