August 2021 - They've been here for half a year

[BertieBotts]

Can you believe it! Our lovely little ones are (roughly) halfway to their first birthdays.

Welcome friends old and new for discussion of sleep, teeth, weaning, milestones, navigating post-baby relationships and the whole existential dread of parenthood... I mean those amazing moments when they make your heart melt. Or produce a poo that makes the wallpaper melt. Oh, all of them. Nothing is off limits because it's just good to know that somebody else has been there.

@PurplePansy05 yeah I abandoned the train and my friend drove me some of the way home and DH picked me up for the rest of the journey back to my mum's. I think I probably could have got back on the train but I didn't want to risk another night away. Another storm here too and we're supposed to be heading back to Scotland through the night tomorrow evening. We can delay another day if needed though

I was just about to say, it's awful here tonight too! xx

@daffodil22 oh I was going to ask what the weather was like up north as we're going up again on Friday and I think the snow is bad.

@PurplePansy05 that's a shame about your holiday let (and your friends' marriage too!) - if you know another couple, or one half of that one still fancy going, I do recommend it!

Really stormy here too. The electricity people must be overwhelmed, as we've had the overhead cable which connects our house to the electricity fallen down on our drive for two days now and still no one out to fix it. Don't think another storm will help matters! DH's car is trapped as it's behind the cable, and not safe to drive over it.

Thanks Bertie re biting. She's such a cheeky wee thing!

How are everyone with naps? DD seems to be going to 2 naps already in a natural progression. Though it depends when she gets up.

I've got a sort of confession. Well something I feel awkward talking about. My OH is still in the spare room despite DD being in her own room... and I've no problem with that at all. Not sure what that says about our relationship. We've not even had sex yet but that kinda doesn't surprise me. OH didn't have a great sex drive before we had DD and we're pretty tired these days. I do feel that we're a bit distant with each other.

@Ready2020 I'll let you know in the next few days hopefully

We have three naps, an early one, a midday one and an afternoon one around 3/4. They are generally quite short about 30-45 mins each.

We are suddenly getting a really consistent mamamamama sound! I thought it was just random/linked to food but he definitely does it in relation to me, so I'm claiming that as a first mama 🥰 I even caught it on video but can't put videos on here.

He tried Marmite today. I wish I'd recorded this! 😂😂😂

Well done to all the babies on all your new skills ❤

Re naps - I think he's going down to two a day. But it's a struggle because he is up at 8, then nap at 10.30 but only for 45 mins-ish. He will then have a nap in the afternoon, probably around 2 which may or may not be longer. And this is where my struggle is - he used to have the second nap earlier and then a third one at around 4pm. I say this very loosely as we've never had a phenomenal day nap routine as you all know. But now with two naps a day, come 5.30 pm he's overtired, but we can't put him down then as he'd be up at 4-5am What do you all do?

Re relationships, I'll put my hands up, my marriage has taken a battering with baby loss, renovation, financial strain, difficult wider family issues and now a newborn baby. I still don't know where this is going to go but it's been the toughest 3 years we've ever gone through. I really miss affection and intimacy and think that not having this and not having an adult only time (not just sex, but a good time together) has a really negative impact on everyone and everything tbh. My sex drive has decreased a bit after having DS, but it's higher than DH's and well, yes, it's not easy. FWIW most of my mum friends sleep in separate rooms to their OHs. I reckon each to their own, but maybe squeezing in some time for cuddles etc together would be a good idea? It's more important than I thought before. xx

Our naps are a bit all over the place! I'd say we average 3, but can have anywhere between 2 and 5. He's seeming to finally be willing to nap in the cot though the past couple of days, which is lovely, I don't think I quite realised how little time I had not attached to a baby!

@BertieBotts oh that's so lovely 🥰 I absolutely can't wait for that!

In terms of relationships, I feel as though mostly we're muddling along ok. I know DH has been finding sex tricky as until last week DS was still in with us, and would only contact nap so we were having to be really quiet which could be a bit of a mood killer. I'd say my sex drive is definitely lower than before DS, which I know can be linked to BFing, plus tiredness of course. Hopefully that'll perk back up! I'm sort of doing a fake it till you make it approach at the moment, in that I'm not getting super excited for sex but really do enjoy it when we do, so I'm getting it going even when I'm not massively in the mood, and then it becomes fun. I so agree about missing adult only time, and also that freedom to be spontaneous that we had before.

About an hour to go until we're home @Ready2020 and roads have been totally fine. Of course it could all change in the next few days though. Let me know if you're free for another coffee - it would be lovely to see you and see how Rowan has changed.

DS normally doesn't do a dirty nappy during the night but my oh my, that was a clean up experience 😂

Also would highly recommend night time driving if you can for a long journey - it's the best two nights sleep DS has ever had 😂

What about a power nap at 5ish? Let him fall asleep but wake him up after 15 minutes. Feels cruel but does work.

You might find it sorts itself out with the clock change whenever that is.

Oh, also, we have had a great success this morning with bananas - instead of giving chunks which get slimy and impossible to hold, cut the banana in half while it's still in the skin, then use scissors to cut the end of the skin off so that a small piece of banana is poking out. The skin makes a "handle" that doesn't get (as) slippery.

I remember doing this with DS1, it didn't work for DS2 but it worked this time :)

First nursery settling in session done this afternoon. So relieved it went well, he wasn't bothered when I left at all. Feel much better about him starting properly next week! I'm sure it won't always be that easy but it's put my mind at ease.

@daffodil21 thanks. We're only up Friday to Monday but will see our plans and let you know.

So it appears our neighbour has waged war on us. It all came from me trying to involve them in work to our front garden. There is a section of grass between our houses but 85% of it is on our side so if we were to put in a raised bed it would leave a small sliver of grass on their side. Anyway, it led to a short exchange of messages where I was apparently rude in one of them. I looked at it and while it looked a bit short it was not rude. There was confusion over them calling soil mud. Since then the work has been done and they have a stupid sliver of grass on their side

I didn't realise they were pissed off until I passed the husband and said hello and he was pretty hostile. So I went over and tried to speak to the wife and she pretty much shut the door on me. The husband came out and words were exchanged (I tried to be calm but lost it at one point and told him he had a right attitude). I was pretty upset when i got back in and cried a lot. I'm rubbish at confrontation.

This was yesterday and today they have deliberately parked so we need to park further up the street. They only had one car parked out front but now they have parked both their cars and pretty much boxed us in.

It has all totally blown out of proportion and I'm happy to speak to them and apologise if they were upset but really my message was not rude and they are being unbelievably petty and hostile. I hate things like this and it's why I didn't want to move into a house next to people. They have given me no chance at all to speak to them so I'm just trying to forget it all but it's hard.

What? They sound totally bonkers, what a crazy overreaction.

Aww that's great smallbean :)

@Smallbean27 When are you thinking to start your LO in nursery? That's great news he's enjoying it so far 😊 My nursery won't start the settling in sessions till a fortnight before his start date from what I remember, I wish it was a bit sooner, but hey ho. They probably know what they're doing.

@Ready2020 Yeah, they sound petty. I think short written communications can often be misinterpreted if they don't know you in person and especially if their communication style is different to yours. I'd try to talk face to face about stuff that is potentially awkward, it's just easier, and yes, I'd probably have a friendly chat to sort this now. It"s kindergarten behaviour now on their part, but you don't want this to escalate or to have to report disputes with the neighbours were you to sell the house.

@purplepansy05 he is starting next week, 2 days. He is doing 3 hours of settling in this week, so an hour on Friday where I will just drop him off.

@Ready2020 oh god what a nightmare. I hate confrontation too. In these cases I always just apologise profusely to avoid future animosity, even when I think I'm not in the wrong. How awful.

I'm on a little holiday in Bath with my father who came from America and the baby. Proud of myself for taking a train with the buggy and carrying all our stuff in a hiking pack! I looked silly but oh well. First overnight holiday since July 2020 so I'm feeling pretty excited even if we just walk around dodging rain and looking at pretty buildings! I hope sleep is ok for Alasdair being away from his normal bed. There s a travel cot here but also a massive bed so will bring him in if he's unsettled.

That sounds about right to do it a couple of weeks before. Too long before and he'll have forgotten all about it by the time it's time to go. Two weeks means it will still be familiar and hopefully the first experience will be positive so he'll be excited to go back.

@Ready2020 sorry you’re experiencing that, it seems to be an overaction to nothing. Maybe just try and talk to them?

@Smallbean27 that’s great news! I’ve still not decided between a childminder or nursery and need to make a decision ASAP. Need to submit my flexi working arrangement in a couple of weeks.

@WolfMother326 how exciting and well done you! I get flustered just heading to a baby class I hope sleep goes well tonight

Has anybody got a pram that fits in an over head locker or recommend one that’s good for a holiday and tight on space?

I love this channel for pram reviews, this is their one on ultra-compact strollers.

A lot of the ones that fold small are sooo flimsy.

Thanks @BertieBotts really helpful! They look filmsy too but just thinking for a city break etc, don’t fancy lugging the big one.

Is it normal for periods to return and not be regular? They’ve been regular the last few and now not.. I’m too scared to test too to be honest

@Fran919 I'm just about to come on after 54 days. I've had a few cycles which have all been about 30 days. I did test yesterday just in case and it was definitely negative

I've still not got any sign of a period but I'm still breastfeeding. I guess they'll come on when I stop feeding? Not missing them I have to say.

I've ended up blocking the number of the girl next door. She wasn't harassing me or anything but any conversation we were having would just escalate from normal discussion to blame or petty things. I just said that there is no point in continuing this and good bye. I felt instantly better after blocking her and deleting all the messages. It's really stress I don't need after the year I've had.

DDs sleep has gone a bit rubbish. I'm guessing more teeth are rumbling around. When she smiles she now shows off her 2 bottom teeth. It's so cute.