August 2021 - They've been here for half a year

[BertieBotts]

Can you believe it! Our lovely little ones are (roughly) halfway to their first birthdays.

Welcome friends old and new for discussion of sleep, teeth, weaning, milestones, navigating post-baby relationships and the whole existential dread of parenthood... I mean those amazing moments when they make your heart melt. Or produce a poo that makes the wallpaper melt. Oh, all of them. Nothing is off limits because it's just good to know that somebody else has been there.

@Jessicapebbles I'm so very sorry for your loss 💐

@Jessicapebbles so sorry to hear this, sending hugs your way

So sorry to hear that Jessicapebbles xx

Ahhh @Jessicapebbles I am so sorry to hear this. I've been through the same situation at 11 and 13 weeks as two of mine were MMCs and it was incredibly hard. Here for you. Please look after yourself best you can now xx

Thank you so much.
@PurplePansy05 I'm going for a confirmation scan this morning. Dreading what's to come.
This is my 3rd miscarriage and we really are desperate for 3 children but sometimes it does make you wonder if you should just give up 😭.

I'll keep you all updated on today's appointment.

Oh Jessica I am so so sorry to hear that :( Take some time to think but don't give up if 3 children is what you want. I set a timescale for DS3 and if I wasn't pregnant by the time DS2 was about 4 (so now, basically) then we would have gone back on contraception and moved on - I needed a known end point. But you don't need to decide anything right now. xxx

@Jessicapebbles so sorry to hear your news, sending love xxx
I thought I’d posted this yesterday but my app isn’t working properly at the moment 😕

sorry for being absent from this thread but time just flies, I return to work in 6 weeks 😣

@PurplePansy05 labels for nursery wise, I use tiny me and have done always for my sons snack pots, water bottles etc they’re great little sticky labels and they do lots of lovely designs. I’ve ordered some for DD for nursery. As for clothes I won’t he labelling clothes as I’d end up labelling DDs whole wardrobe! Just going to take a picture of her in the morning with what she’s wearing and remember what change of clothes I’ve put in her bag and check when I collect in the evening that everything is still there. You can get shoe labels on the website I just mentioned above if you’re wanting to do that too xxx

Thanks everyone.

I've got a D&C booked for Tuesday morning.

Xx

Oh @Jessicapebbles, I'm so sorry to hear your news, and sending good thoughts your way.

I've only bloody gone and got mastitis 😖 I'd avoided it for 9 months so thought I'd avoided it but yesterday morning it came on, and even more annoyingly we're away on holiday in Wales so the antibiotic prescription from my GP doesn't work at the pharmacy - hoping Welsh 111 comes through for me...

Argh what a nightmare! I got really engorged the other day and had to express. Their feeding is so variable at this age it's easily done. I got it at 16 months last time.

Alex has started crawling, pulling up and moving from all fours to sitting and back again. He's very pleased with this. It's a commando type swimming frog crawl for now which is very funny/cute as he looks so determined!

@biscuitcat Call 111 or the other number (0845...) depending where in Wales you are - not all of Wales is covered by 111. You should get your prescription from a local dr for free here.

Are you sure it's mastitis btw? At this stage that's odd. However, I have a couple of friends who thought they had it (their babies are 9mo-1 yo) and in fact their babies caused damage to their nipples through biting and pulling when distracted and no mastitis meds helped. The damage wasn't obvious to them, only spotted by their HVs/ private lactation consultants. They had to change the positions in which they bf and go back to using nipple creams. Thought I'd mention as both had a nightmare and were in fact misdiagnosed and in a lot of pain and discomfort due to antibiotics for weeks, unnecessarily.

Thank you fellow mummies for the tips re labels and nursery life, duly noted! DS is starting next month! xx

@Jessicapebbles How are you keeping?

I'm so sorry again, that's so, so tough 💔I would say, give yourself time to heal after this and don't give up on your dream of completing your family with three living children just yet if you feel this is right for you. I know very well it's so hard when it keeps happening again and again, your mind and body can be affected so much. Allow yourself as much time to recover as you feel you need & keep the faith. I have a feeling your dream will come true, I really do. I wish it didn't have to be such a difficult road for any of us. xx

@BertieBotts I was really surprised as it doesn't feel like his feeding has changed particularly, just hard luck I think! @PurplePansy05 I'm in Anglesey, which I think must be covered as luckily 111 sorted me - I popped into the local out of hours GP and she gave me antibiotics. I'm fairly sure it is mastitis, as it's not my nipple which is sore - the whole side of the breast is red and swollen, and I was feeling really shivery and unwell. I'm hoping so anyway, as I imagine that's a quicker fix! Though a side effect of the ABs is nausea which is reminding me unpleasantly of the early weeks of pregnancy 🤢

@Jessicapebbles I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope you're feeling alright and getting lots of love.

Just a question, if you are having recurring miscarriage with Crohns (esp if symptomatic?) might be worth trying a different IBD medicine? Inflammation can apparently mess with early pregnancy, or so my consultant said. I'm on Adilimumab which has been brilliant, and was prescribed to me to manage that risk/for pregnancy. When you feel better might be worth asking.

Question for the group: tips for flying with baby? We are going to the US in 10 days. What would you bring on board to help? I'm worried about what to do if his ears hurt for example. He has a tiny cold now but I hope that will be gone by then. Thanks for any suggestions.

Hello ladies. My soo has been playing up for weeks and I'm glad I can finally post! How is everyone?

@Jessicapebbles am so sorry for your loss. How are you feeling now? As the others have said take the time for yourself and we're here for you x

@WolfMother326 we travelled with DD when she was 8 months old. We had got ear defenders for the plane which she wore during take off and landing.

There was no limit to how much food we could take for her so I had my flask for her water and her formula. I'd taken pouches of food as well for her. Just pack bubbas stuff in a way that's easily accesssible as they will "test" it at security. Also we didn't take many toys as anything can be a toy. She entertained herself with a plastic bottle for quite a while!

Change of clothes - for baby and yourself on the plane. Calpol is allowed in hand luggage too! You're gonna have a great time x

Also baby off to nursery in 8 weeks. Thanks for the tip re tiny labels.

Just unsure what they need really? FTM and no clue. Does anyone have like a list of stuff that I should buy before nursery? Like bottles, food containers? X

Just a quick message as my mum has Rowan and I'm about to do a batch cook.

Rowan started 3 full days at nursery this week and it has not gone well. They called me yesterday to get her early as she was so upset. We're putting her back to half days for now. She wasn't eating their food but today we provided a pouch of food and she ate that. So I think they aren't pureeing her food enough. Hey sleep at night has been variable since starting. The last 2 nights getting her to sleep has been awful. She was hysterical and just seemed scared. I was crying along with her as I felt so bad. But once she's asleep she sleeps loooong hours.

I think it's just a big change and personally I think she's too young yet but I've no choice really. Plus I think she misses boob during the day too.

Anyway off to make spinach and cheese muffins!

@Ready2020 Really sorry to hear that it's not going great. Rohan has also been a nightmare to get to sleep the last week, taking 1-2 hours of whinging and crying but like you sleeps fine once asleep.
Could it be separation anxiety? In which case hopefully it will get better, people recommends lots of peekaboo games.

Our bedtimes have gone to pot as well as DS3 is pulling up on the cot and me and crawling absolutely everywhere for about 2 hours Tonight we are going to try putting him in the cot in the room with DS2 and see how he goes. I'm thinking if he's crawling around on his own then he might exhaust himself without me interrupting him stopping him from grabbing a phone charger, going off the bed, biting me etc. He can't reach anything dangerous in the cot so he should be fine in theory, if he's OK with being left. He was when I tried it as a one off a week or two ago but then I thought he was crying and sent DH in so need to try it again waiting a bit longer!

In your case - it sounds like she is probably exhausted from nursery? DS2 had that - you might want to get her to bed a bit earlier and see if that helps?

Gosh, it looks like quite a few of us are having a hard time now.

I am feeling very strange. My maternity is coming to an end and I have such mixed feelings about it. I didn't love all of it, it was full of ups and downs tbh. Even though DS is thriving and everyone says this, I feel like a total failure as a mother. Because I hate the amount of cleaning I have to do, because I sometimes lose patience with him and feel like I've had enough when he whines a lot (even though I know it's not his 'fault'), because he'll be the youngest baby in his nursery and it kills me to know this. Because I've actually missed my job and I feel guilty for saying this, I feel guilty I'm not this picture perfect SAHM that maybe I secretly hoped I'd become? Well, I didn't. I am also scared of returning to work, dreading that someone else will be looking after him. I will miss him so much.

I am a total emotional wreck for no apparent reason. Did anyone else feel so massively conflicted/upset/emotional when your maternity leave was coming to an end? Please don't tell me I'm alone in this. I haven't told anyone IRL 😭 I feel I should've done better than I have as a mum and can't quite explain this. Sorry, I'm not making much sense right now, had to spill it out. xx

I absolutely did both times even though mine was longer! I also really struggled with those feelings about not really enjoying being a SAHM and it took me so much longer to admit it to myself. It doesn't mean you're a bad mum in any way! Motherhood is hard and especially when you're carrying the whole mental load by yourself.

So sorry to hear babies not settling. I'm not back to work yet but trying to do keeping in touch days/mornings and have had a babysitter. Alasdair having major meltdowns and refusing food/milk/naps. Going to try to rethink a bit and might try afternoons/popping in and out to encourage settling. Worried about nursery in August 😬

Purple you are not alone... I miss my job and as much as I love my sweet baby I could do with a break from the cleaning/feeding/sleeping routine. I hope the transition goes well though and it's all OK on the other end for you both.

@PurplePansy05 I can relate to getting frustrated with his whinging. Especially when it seems for no reason, obviously it's not their fault but it sometimes really annoys me! Rohan was also the youngest by far when he started but the older kids love to play with him.
I felt bad initially as I have been back at work since he was 6 months, but actually it has been the best thing for us both. I enjoy having time away from him and I enjoy my time with him, he loves nursery which makes it much easier. Never had problems with being left there, nursery do say they usually adjust quicker when they are younger. But I'm sure they will be fine especially when they see the other children and get involved.

Thanks ladies ❤️ it really helps to know I'm not the only one having so many different feelings about it at once.

I don't think I expected motherhood to be so contradictory all the time, it's like I am happy but also fed up and tired and frankly sometimes bored now. And soon I'll go to another extreme when I'm too busy and rushed probably. It's really difficult to find a balance, maybe there isn't one and I'm looking for a unicorn, whereas the real art is in winging it one day at a time and just not having any expectations. I don't know.

@Smallbean27 I so relate to what you wrote there. Leo is doing really well in nursery, he goes in for a couple of hours a day several times a week and they tell me he's a really happy boy. I should just enjoy it and have faith it'll be ok! Your words brought me a lot of reassurance, thank you.

I'm sorry nursery is challenging for some of you, I am one of the lucky ones so far in that he likes it, however we will see how he goes when he starts doing full days. I might be back on here re-reading everyone's tips and supporting messages! xx