August 2021 Babies - Running on Caffeine and Baby Smiles

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest post-natal club on MN!

We have welcomed 31 gorgeous new babies together 💖💙 ...

We have filled up several more like a hundred threads in the antenatal birth clubs chat...

...and now we have finally graduated and officially moved to the postnatal birth clubs chat! 🥳

Graduates of the August 2021 (and thereabouts) thread:

@Smurf123 & baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler & her baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles & baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain & her baby boy 💙
@PurplePansy05 & baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 & baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum & baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 & baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 & baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 & baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 & baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx & baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x & baby Ella💖
@biscuitcat & baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername & baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns & baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 & baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque & baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 & baby Ethan 💙
@WolfMother326 & baby Alasdair 💙
@BertieBotts & baby Alex 💙
@RandomCatGenerator & baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp & baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB & baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 & baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 & her baby boy 💙
@Fran919 & her baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 & baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x & her baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries & baby Frankie 💖
@ame88 & baby Lily 💖

Tagging @Dia12, @livingwithbees, @Sheisfee, @Alittlexmasmagic and @LottSE20 in the opening post so you know we're here as and when you wish to rejoin/share your updates 💐

Here we go!

@Ready2020 dd only naps during the day on me or in the pram on walks. Sometimes I can transfer her to pram but usually she walks again often I just let her sleep on me

That Joie travel cot is very small - only 99cm long (It says the mattress is only 89cm long!) For comparison both the bedside cots we've had have been 99cm long and that starts to feel too small around 12 months old. This is DS2 squeezed in it for a laugh at 2yo, this crib is narrower than the Joie travel cot (45cm whereas the Joie is 60cm, as wide as a standard cot). He is tall but not ridiculously tall. There is no way it will last to age 3 like they say.

I would look at travel cots which are standard cot size (120 x 60). They are all much the same - Graco, red kite, Hauck, Joie. Just pick the one with the features you want. Or the lightweight Phil & Ted's one as said above for a different style. We have a Hauck one and it's exactly the same as every other of the "standard" type carrycots I've had or used in the last 13 years! We bought a folding mattress for it but I've since found out they aren't recommended due to the risk of the baby getting trapped down one side, because of the mesh sides of the travel cot. So I'm in two minds about whether to use it again.

@Ready2020 same here, he will only sleep on me in the day, if I put him down at all he wakes up within minutes! Not ideal. 😂

@Smurf123 ah glad it works sometimes for you. If DS1 ever wakes in the night all I can hear on the monitor is mummy mummy mummy mummy until I go into him lol. And he always asks for chocolate dread no matter what time in the night. Kids eh!

@Magik01 No, you're not the only one with a LO going to sleep for the night around 11pm. Much like @Daffodil21 says, evening time is his time with daddy here. He has his bath with daddy at 6pm, then he has a feed, then we sing together or do a bit of DIY sensory, we chat etc. We have dinner. He then snoozes on DH in the eve before bed, but I don't count it as his night sleep. It's just what he needs and I think it will gradually blend in with his night sleep into a long stretch say from 7.30/8 pm until the morning. He's not actually that far off it if it wasn't for feeding. Also today he had a 2hr nap in his pram after a walk, feels like a miracle that I wasn't glued to the sofa with him! xx

Thank you everyone for your routines.

DH is in the bedroom putting DS down now. I’ve had a real flop today - gave the baby to DH with the sling and went to bed. Basically hid in the bedroom and had a cry. He hasn’t slept for more than 1.5 hours at a time since Saturday morning. I feel like Im just surviving, no more.

It’s also compounded by the cat stress which I mentioned before. We’ve finally decided we have to give away the young male cat, who is incredibly jealous of the baby and so is making the life of the old female cat hell - and making everyone miserable in the process, being super loud and needy. I’m so sad about it. We’ve had him for nearly three years since we adopted him as a little street kitten, and I’ve always disparaged expats who go abroad and adopt an animal and then don’t take it back to the their country of ordinary residence. But I just can’t cope with all of us being unhappy.

Not a good day.

On travel cots - a friend has recommended the Koo-di for occasional use. It’s super light, only a kilogram, and very small and portable. No good for longer trips of regular use but for a weekend away up to six months it’s got thumbs up from friends who regularly travel. I’ve ordered one - will let you know what its like after we go to the Himalayas for a few days next month!

@Magik01 😂 well yes when he wakes he will call mummy mummy mummy until I come in too and daddy won't do 🙈 I'm hoping we can get him back to following the clock again. He's never slept great I think he genuinely just doesn't need much sleep. We do have a stair gate on his door though so we tell him he can play in his room around bedtime

Another one here who has a baby who will only nap on a person! I'm not pushing it at the moment as I love snuggling with him all sleepy, though I might regret that in a few months...

I'm on my own with baby overnight for the first time today - I've no idea how we've got to 10 weeks with that as DH works away, but I've been lucky and my mum/sister have always been available to help, but they're also away this week 😫 hoping he doesn't have too much of a horrible evening and we all get through alive!

Also can I ask for anyone's views/experience on going back to work earlier than planned? I was originally not planning on going back till September, but I'm missing work and so am thinking of going back in February/March. We're also thinking of shortening our gap between babies, as I don't think I really much like the baby years so I want them out the way, and it would mean going back pregnant if I stayed off till September, which I know is legal but I'd feel bad about, so going back early means I can do a good chunk before being off again. I'm on the waiting list for my nursery for an early space, though not hopeful, but I can have a space at another very well regarded nursery so childcare would be OK. I don't really know what I'm asking, but does that sound reasonable? And with the nursery, do you think I'll end up wanting to keep him where he's settled, or move in September when my place at my original nursery is available?

I need to ask an is it normal question. Is it normal to watch your baby cry and not feel like doing anything about it. I'm worried a bit about myself today. I just can't move my body to do get up and do anything. I know my iron levels are low but I wonder if my mood is low too. DD has been off the last few days. Off routine. Which is fair enough as she's 10 weeks old! I just feel it's getting harder, and it was hard enough to begin with.

(DD is fine BTW. OH is here too).

@biscuitcat I'm currently due back in January 😫 and will have to take an alternative nursery place and then change her to our preferred in July unfortunately. They might be able to get her in from April but that would mean us really struggling on statutory maternity pay from Jan to April.

@Ready2020 I do that sometimes. If I've done Everutning and she's still not happy I just lie her down and watch her crying and my face probably looks emotion less

@biscuitcat if your LO is settled in the first nursery I would be hesitant to move him to be honest. However I will say when I went back to work the first time and DS1 was in nursery he screamed every time i dropped him off for months (although was fine after 5/10 minutes).

As for wanting to go back work early I can’t help you there! Is it the adult interaction you miss or work in general? If it’s just the interaction maybe joining a few groups if you haven’t already might take the edge off? I had 10 months off the first time around, I’m aiming for over a year off this time- 12 months maternity then the holidays I’ve acquired added onto the end. I see it as you won’t get these little years back so cherish them while you have the chance.

@Smurf123 we have a baby gate on DS1 room too mainly because he’s in the loft room but it means he can get up and potter around if he wanted too which I don’t mind!

@Ready2020 I hope your okay lovely. I’ve had it before where DS2 cries and I just watch. Not sure if it’s normal though! It might be worth talking to your health visitor, even if your not at the point of PND it’s better to talk to someone earlier rather than too late.

@biscuitcat I think the only right answer to this is that you need to do what's right for you and your family. I will be returning in May/June, I think. I would have taken a full year but we can't afford it. However, I'll be honest, if I could have a day per week in work now, I'd do it. I am at my best juggling a number of different things and like variety. Maternity leave is teaching me to slow down and be more in the moment, but in all honesty it's repetitive and I could never live at this pace or be a SAHM. I think I personally would wait till after Christmas with deciding if I were you. Rowan will grow a bit more by then and you'll also have more time to work out what's best. Regarding planning another DC and the gap, I can't help because the last few years taught me to never plan these things. But you certainly can go back pregnant and I hope things work out this way for you. Would childcare work out ok for you if you have two LOs very close in age? I'd be thinking about this too if you're planning ahead xx

@biscuitcat oh wow, planning another already! It would be amazing to have them so close in age as they grow up. Having a baby has definitely changed my view on it all. I expected to hate every second of the tiny baby part and probably want to wait 10 years for another 😂 Turns out I actually love all of it, almost all of it anyway! I would have another way sooner than I’d originally thought. Not as soon as next year though but that’s more because I’m paranoid about another section so soon 🙈 I think we’ll aim to have another in the summer of Freddie’s third birthday so I would need to get pregnant not long after his second birthday and he’ll be one when I go back to work so I’d only have one year at work of not being pregnant which is quite scary 😂 Obviously you really can’t plan these things though and I’d just be delighted to have another at all!

Thank you all 🥰 @Magik01 it's the work I'm missing - I'm really lucky and have an interesting job that I enjoy a lot, and I think the mental stimulation of that is what I'm after.

@PurplePansy05 I'm finding it the same in terms of being a bit repetitive - definitely enjoying it more now he's a bit bigger and more alert (and now I'm getting some more sleep!), but also I'm only going back 3 days a week and I think that time not being 'mum' might be quite good for me. Luckily we'd be OK with childcare which obviously makes a huge difference.

@sarah13xx I've got quite a small age gap with my sisters, about 20 months between each of us, and I really love it so I think I'm looking to recreate that a bit - if I could snap my fingers and get pregnant it would mean summer next year. DH has a big age gap with his sister and is really keen to avoid that too, as I know he often felt a bit like an only child growing up

God life would be so much easier if I was a man!!!

@biscuitcat This sounds very sensible, you've clearly given it a good deal of thought already and it looks like all the pieces to the puzzle will fit in nicely for you, so I'd say go for it 😊 xx

@sarah13xx there’s 2 years and 10 months between my two boys and I can confirm it’s a lovely age gap. The oldest is at an age where if needed he can entertain himself, he loves to help out and loves his little brother. It’s also a plus that they get the free childcare the term after they are three so it will relieve some of the financial pressure that comes with maternity leave.

@biscuitcat only you can decide what’s best for you, but I totally understand that we all need time to actually be ourselves rather than a mum. It’s great you enjoy your job, rare these days! Lol

There's 3 years 4months between my 2. I like it as the gap as ds is out of nappies, a little more independent and at nursery school since September (we don't have the same system re free hours as England) it's only 2.5 hours a day term time but it's something for him

I despise my job and only enjoyed it because of who i worked with but now mostly everyone has left so don't want to go back.

This week I've not spent a day at home yet I've been so busy and it's great. Went to a baby group yesterday morning 10-12 then a group of us went for dinner afterwards and then some of them went swimming after that. Today i went to a baby group 9.30.11.15 and some of us went back to one of the girls houses who's actually my neighbour! Was round there until time to collect DS from school. She supplied dinner and tea and biscuits so a lovely day 🥰 then OH was home early in time to come and collect DS with me

@lucyrp that sounds lovely, glad you’re getting on so well with them all 😊 I have a baby group on Mondays and Thursdays just now which is a nicely spread out week I think. Any days where I’m doing nothing we just go walks with the dog. I feel like I haven’t been bored or just sat in the house so far on maternity leave at all.

@Magik01 yeah that sounds sound like a nice gap 😊 the financial situation really helps too! Just trying to weigh up whether I’m starting a new career or going back to my old job in the meantime though 🙄 Should really just enjoy maternity leave and not thinking about it but feel like now is a good opportunity to think of something else when I have the time!

@biscuitcat yeah definitely! If only you clicked your fingers and that’s how it worked 😂 It only took 3 months for me to fall pregnant (hate that phrase, sounds wayyy easier than it is!) but if it was similar to that or less I wouldn’t want to start trying too early but at the same time some people take a year even after it being quick first time so who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

Found a job similar to mine but a remote working job. For full time hours you get a lot less pay than I would if I stayed full time in my current job. I’m not planning to stay full time though, I’m planning to drop to 3 days so I’d get somewhere around £1500 a month. The remote job I’ve seen is full time hours, although the hours are flexible and only certain hours each day you have to be available, the rest of the hours you can do when it suits. The issue is I’d get the same wage working full time remotely or part time in-person (at a job I hate with way more hassle). Do I take the same money and work remotely and get to spend more time with Freddie or continue to trail to the job I don’t like until I find something else? 🤔

DD has become very chatty the last few days. I've got a great video but can't upload it here for some reason.

I've had nothing planned with DD this week bar tomorrow my sister is over and looking after her when I go to a massage. I can not wait for that. I'm finding myself torn between doing things and not. It's good for my head to get out and about but I like the consistency of staying at home so DD can nap and feed on me.

I've booked 8pm onwards free from baby stuff tonight so I can watch the bake off with a gin. It'll be upstairs on the laptop but better than nothing!

I'm not having another but I've got 5 years then 3 years between me and my 2 older sisters and found that not great growing up and in our teens but as we all got older it's not made a difference. My oldest sister was the bane of my teenage life but became almost like a mother when my parents moved away when I was 17.

@Ready2020 I have found today and yesterday she hasn't napped much in the day but it hadn't made much of a difference to her night sleep which I was hoping 😂 tonight me and DD fell asleep on the sofa while OH played with DS and got tea i feel worn out 😴 we aren't doing anything tomorrow but DD has her 8 week jabs which I'm not looking forward to mainly because of how she'll be afterwards 😓

@Ready2020 that sounds lovely - enjoy!!

So my time with gin and bake off didn't happen due to DD not going down after OH trying for half hour. He called bad back so I had to take over. Not impressed. Given that I have her during the day plus at night surely he can be the designated night time person. Its the worst part of the day mind as she's so grumpy being put to sleep in the evenings.