August 2021 Babies - Running on Caffeine and Baby Smiles

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest post-natal club on MN!

We have welcomed 31 gorgeous new babies together 💖💙 ...

We have filled up several more like a hundred threads in the antenatal birth clubs chat...

...and now we have finally graduated and officially moved to the postnatal birth clubs chat! 🥳

Graduates of the August 2021 (and thereabouts) thread:

@Smurf123 & baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler & her baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles & baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain & her baby boy 💙
@PurplePansy05 & baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 & baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum & baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 & baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 & baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 & baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 & baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx & baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x & baby Ella💖
@biscuitcat & baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername & baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns & baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 & baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque & baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 & baby Ethan 💙
@WolfMother326 & baby Alasdair 💙
@BertieBotts & baby Alex 💙
@RandomCatGenerator & baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp & baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB & baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 & baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 & her baby boy 💙
@Fran919 & her baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 & baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x & her baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries & baby Frankie 💖
@ame88 & baby Lily 💖

Tagging @Dia12, @livingwithbees, @Sheisfee, @Alittlexmasmagic and @LottSE20 in the opening post so you know we're here as and when you wish to rejoin/share your updates 💐

Here we go!

Ugh think I was having a crisis of confidence last night. OH and I had a good chat about it all and I feel a bit better. We just basically agreed that we know mother but it still made me feel better.

I'm still pretty much not sleeping between 1am and 8am. DD does sleep through the time but has taken to being wide awake in the snuz pod by 4 or 5am. She is taken up to me at 1am ish after a solid 5 hour sleep but I find it hard to get her to have a big feed as she just falls asleep on me pretty quickly. Then she has her light sleep for the rest of the night. She doesn't really cry to tell me she's hungry but I put her on me at 5sm today and she had a huge feed. Maybe I need to just schedule a feed around 4am to catch her before she wakes up.

Nothing not mother!

Accepting we know nothing about babies is the first step :o It is pretty normal for them to be in lighter sleep during the early hours of the morning. Some of the gentle sleep books I've read reference this specifically and say whatever habit you're trying to transition out of (bedsharing/feeding/whatever) if the baby wakes after 4am you should either just go with that old habit or get up for the day.

Gem I meant to say yesterday I have a big gap between DS1 & 2 - 10 years. Then I'm on this thread with DS3 so I have a 13yo, 3yo and newborn. I am loving the big gap first TBH. It made for a great experience although going back after all that time was a bit daunting.

I'd say the biggest changes in 10 (now 13 I guess so some of these must be out of date for you) years are the Haakaa pump, baby apps, "sleep science" (which is mostly rubbish, beware...) and spinning/rear facing car seats.

Oh and slings have become mainstream and changed a lot.

@Ready2020 I'm sure we all have days like that, big hugs ❤️
I've found it easier just focusing on a day by day basis and not trying to be too long sighted. I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing!

Today's mission is to try and avoid feed to sleep. It just hurts her poor tummy as she overeats and it makes sleep even harder. I know she'll eventually sleep with rocking and white noise in the dark so I'll be sticking with that as soon as she shows sleep cues it's just more labour intensive and exhausting than sticking her on the boob 🙈

@Ready2020 I’ll say don’t let one bad night put you off. Babies can’t adjust to a change in environment so quickly. It might be that they need a little more time to adjust to a new sleep environment so if you’re willing to persevere I’d say it will pay off eventually. I think as parents we are so concerned with making our babies happy and comfortable that often we are quick to dismiss something because they appear not to like it and that’s totally natural as we are protective over them. This is absolutely no judgement over anyone’s parenting (I really hope it doesn’t come across that way) but I’ve definitely had this mindset before. I’ve found that perhaps if I can put up with a rough couple of days or nights, they tend to come out the other side better for it. Obviously I’m not talking about leaving them to cry or the hardcore sleep training methods but they say 3 days to make a habit and 3 days to break a habit and I try to remember this.

That said, ds is king of the 30 minute nap. Literally never naps for longer on his own. If he’s on me he would sleep all day if I let him. Now we’re nearing 3 months I know I need to address this a bit more otherwise I won’t give him the opportunity to work it out for himself.

I am grateful that, at the moment, he is able to settle himself to sleep so I’ll take that and hoping that in time he can start to link his sleep cycles. He can do it at night so I know he can, but I know daytime sleep works differently due to circadian rhythm. Above everything, I am a huge advocate to consistency and routine. At times it feels a bit draconian but after what we went through with dd’s sleep, I know I can’t go through it again so we’re taking steps to try and help ds be a better sleeper. Dd thrives on consistency and routine and we’re all better for it in our house.

@wimbler I guess it is nearly 3 months in for some of us! That's crazy! But it also feels like he's always been here?

10 minutes and I'll be off the train back with my little pickle 💕 had a lovely time in London!

Totally second the suggestion to take it one day at a time. This has become my mantra when I was TTC and suffered losses and looking into the longer term future was extremely unhelpful and damaging to my MH. I then concluded that this approach works with everything I find challenging in life. Of course now DS is here it's very different, there's an added guilt that I should never complain or feel low because I finally have my baby. But the reality is motherhood is tough. Babies sometimes have bad days or even weeks. Bf takes its toll on our bodies and MH too. FF does in different ways too. It's just not easy! So I tell myself again, one day at a time. I also sometimes wake up and feel braced for a war zone nearly, like it's going to be a tough day, but I'll go through it. And then he usually has a really good day which makes things soooo much better. Or if not then I still go through it, I am ready for it if that makes sense.

He has already flipped my world over completely. I will never be as in control as before. I will never know or predict what he's going to do the next day. I'll always worry about him. I'll always question myself and beat myself up about something. I'll never have a tidy house the way I like it, or freedom to go out for 5 drinks with my girlfriend when it was meant to be just one. But then, I'm mid 30s. I get to watch him grow up and mould him into this new fascinating person over the years. This, I think is the best thing ever. He will love me unconditionally even if I fuck up sometimes. Once I put things into perspective, I'm more at peace with the day to day hardship.

But losing the sense of control and freedom, as well as not knowing what's to come and feeling like my child leads because he's already changed, developed and I am noticing after the event, so I am the follower in a way, is scary. It doesn't come easy to me at all. It's also hit me how I've never been an in the moment person, I've never let myself enjoy the moment here and now because I was already onto the next thing. Now my DS is staring me in the eye and I need to face up to this at 35 and work on myself to change this approach because I don't want to be too rigid/anxious to miss out on him. I only get this chance once.

I never realised how motherhood would make me face things I don't like about myself so intensely and so fast. It's hard. xx

@dirtyfries do you wind after every feed ??

Does anyone else's baby grunt a lot in the night? He sleeps 8-1 then feeds and back to sleep, but from 3am onwards he just grunts and fidgets constantly. Tried winding, changing nappy, feeding, he then will sleep soundly in your arms and as soon as you put him down he starts again!
Any advice? We keep him up 20mins after a feed, tried infacol, trying gripe water...help!

@lucyrp mostly yes and we take a burp break when switching sides too. I only don't if she's been awake for hours on end and has comfort nursed to sleep

@Smallbean27 100%! Very grunty/snorty and flailing all over the place. I feel like I spend most of the early hours peering over her to see if eyes are open or not

@dirtyfries that's exactly the same here! I'm tempted to move the cot further from the bed, it's driving me insane!
He has also started to resist being burped, flailing and crying, which doesn't help!
I'm sure it gets better as he is 6 weeks and I have read it can be this time where it happens. But it doesn't make it easier 😕

Ladies, does anyone have the Tripp Trapp chair? Is it worth the money? Is it good for baby led weaning? I can't decide whether to spend in excess of £200 on Stokke or buy Ikea Antilop for just over a tenner. I know I can get TT second hand but yet to see the classic wooden one in my area, been looking for months and I don't like the coloured ones.

Will investing in a TT save money in the long run for example in terms of not having to buy another chair or something else to sit DS down when he learns to sit up? I gather he'll be on the move a lot, crawling etc in few months' time, but no idea what is best to use once he learns to sit up. Any thoughts much appreciated before pre-Christmas sales start! xx

@PurplePansy05 we have one. I love the way they look but it doesn’t make weaning any easier!! Didn’t make dd any less fussy 😂 they are a bit of a nightmare to clean too as they have so many nooks and crannies. The add ons get expensive too. Oh and the tray is textured so none of the lovely suction plates and bowls I bought worked - not even the one made by Stokke 🙄. I think they’re better as a chair when the child gets older tbh and the IKEA one is better as a high chair

Thanks @wimbler. How much use do you get out of TT with your DD now? I am trying to figure out if I could use it as a high chair and also as somewhere to put DS once he's able to sit down (to get something done during the day) and then as he grows up whether I could say move it to the lounge for him to watch tv, do crafts, then use with his desk. All I'm reading is that it grows with a child and it's a chair for life, so I'm thinking maybe it will save me money on buying whatever I'd need to buy for him to use for all of the above?

The accessories are ridiculously overpriced though and I was given bamboo suction plates which I'd be disappointed not to use. Beinh difficult to clean is definitely a minus.

Does the IKEA chair take up a lot of space?

What do you all use for DCs when they reach the age when they can sit down? I can use the bouncer till around 7 mo I suppose, what will I need after that?

I'm basically thinking the less I can buy to last for longer the better, to save on space xx

@PurplePansy05 we've bought a maxi Cosi Minla high chair, which is suitable from newborn, as I wanted somewhere higher for Rowan to be while I potter in the kitchen and it's brilliant! Also not cheap, but I think less than a Tripp Trapp, and he seems to quite like it (well, to the extent he's willing to be put down anywhere...)

@BertieBotts that's really useful to know about light sleep later in the night! DS slept from 10:30-ish to just after 4 last night and where usually he's up a bit earlier and then resettles nicely, this morning he just didn't want to go back down, so that really rings true.

We're still in size 2 nappies but I think when we run out of what we have we'll move up to size 3. He's a right little chunk, 6.4kg at his 8 week jabs! Still quite comfortably in 0-3 month clothes though, I think as he's not massively long. I reckon that we'll get a few more weeks from them unless he has an unexpected growth spurt.

I so feel those of you who are finding it hard at the moment - everything is just so relentless, and quite a lot of it is boring! I feel dreadful saying it, but I'm quite looking forward to when he's older and gives more back and can communicate better. I always thought I'd enjoy parenting more when the baby stage is over and I think I'm proving myself right. DH has taken baby out for a dog walk as I was having a cry that I didn't even remember when the last time I had more than about 30 minutes away from him was, so I've had a lovely bath and I'm not lying in bed browsing on my phone and relaxing 😌

I have one @PurplePansy05 we got it second hand in the wood colour and ds still uses it. Usually even as a baby we just pulled him in to the table but we do have the tray too as it was helpful when there were hot plates on the table etc to keep him further back. I found the bamboo bamboo suction bowls worked fine on it. Plates as bit harder to get to stick as if they were too big they hit off the ridge of the tray edge.
We got a baby set for dd second hand too thinking she would join us at the table and ds could move to a chair but he much prefers to sit on his tripp trapp and to be fair it is a bit higher up for him too. We are stealing my mum's tripp trapp for them both to have one at our house

@PurplePansy05 you can get a lovely padded seat cover and tray cover for the ikea chair which totally transforms it. The company is called grey fox designs on instagram. I think I’m going to get one of them for my parents house or ours depending how good it is. Was looking at getting the hauck sit n relax one that he could use from now to be up at the table with us.

I find if he lasts through the night he usually can get to about 6am but if he sees the daylight when I take him through to his room to change him at that point then he won’t go back to sleep. I have to go through first to make sure it’s dark (or just the small light on) then I can put him back down after. My aim is 8am so he’ll eventually sleep 8-8, he got to 7:30 this morning (because he was so sleepy from his jags) but I didn’t bother trying to put him back after that, was impressed enough with half 7!

He’s slept pretty much the whole day and has barely taken any milk when he has woke up. He’s up now for the first proper feed and he’s onto his second bottle, must be starving bless him 😂

DH has the cold quite bad and is occasionally coughing so I made him go for a covid test today. Keeping Freddie away from him so having to do everything myself. Slightly paranoid that Freddie’s doing the odd cough now but I think he normally does it 🤦🏼‍♀️

If it’s helpful @PurplePansy05 - my little sister (now a young teenager) had a TT. Used it until she was about nine years old as a chair at the table. So they really do last well.

@BertieBotts

Oh no DH took this one the other day :) That's a 0-3 outfit but as you can see it's a bit short on the legs.

This is such a lovely picture @BertieBotts

Thank you all! I am really leaning towards TT. I've got a £50 JL voucher so I might use that, but I'm also waiting for Black Friday sales and will continue to browse Facebook.

I saw doughnut shape cushion type things that are supposed to support baby's back when they start to sit up or rubber seats that you put on the floor. Has anyone bought anything like that? xx

And everyone's babies are so, so gorgeous 😍😍😍 Growing up already! My DS looks very similar to your Alex, Bertie. Your two boys together are just too cute! xx

They are so expensive, @PurplePansy05. I’m torn as to whether they’re worth it.

Dd uses it for every meal so it’s still going strong and and she’s nearly 3. We stopped using the tray at about 1 and just had her at the table with us. My parents have the IKEA one and she’s almost grown out of it. I will say it’s probably not somewhere I’d have left her in while I pottered. We had a jumperoo for that which was amazing and then I just let her roam when she was big enough as we baby proofed as much as we could and she couldn’t get into too much trouble.

If you can afford it I do think they’re a great bit of kit, they have their negatives but then no item is 100% perfect.