June 07 mummies, relentless in their quest for sleep, peace and a nice cup of tea

[nowbringussomeJammypudding]

Here we go again...

It's only a second or two. You sort of pass then between two of you underwater and they take a pic as you do it. DD wasn't at all bothered and she was only about 10 weeks when we did it. She could also float on one of DH's fingers as long as her ears were underwater. I do wish we'd kept it up as she lost all that confidence

Mmmm my bath is loverrrrlyyyyy....got loads of nice homeopathic smelly things to put in but couldn't use them while pg or when DD is in with me! She loves the bubbles though! Bet the local swimming pool isn't as warm.....

Little Dippers

I did an Aquababies course with DS1. Definately worth it for my confidence, and now they all get dunked. Would recommend it.

Did fireworks at a neighbours tonight. It was lovely, all the kids from the street were there.

Then we got home, DD1 puked up in her bed, DS2 was sobbing because DP went out and he wanted a 'daddy cuddle' and I smacked the fridge door into my face. What a dope!

Glad you had a better day JBM

Oh Foxy...sounds painful!

Hows DD1? Not a bug I hope?

Right off to bed...night ladies ...may you all have long sleeps x

oh foxy, are you all right? I hope it isn't bruised.

There's a sickness bug going around here but it only seems to last 24 hours.

I have just discovered a new found love for Orville Redenbacher's Gourmet microwave pop corn in honey butter flavour.....yum yum yum (but so much for my diet )

why am i still up?

Morning all, sorry to hear about the bruises daisy and foxy.

JBM glad the feeding is better.

Daisy wish all the problems you've had it's no wonder you get tense feeding. It must make it difficult for you to go out for long.

I am so fuming at my mother. I've decided to come off my ADs. I don't think I have PND. I think I have been having a bad few weeks, get quite anxious and things with DH weren't great for a while, but I don't think it was PND. TBH I felt better just going to the Dr's (and having a lovely chat with Daisy and Derlor) before I even took the tablets, plus they make me wake up 3 times a night which is completely counter productive.

Anyway, I told my mum last night and she went completely off on one at me saying I was not to come off them (this is after I had agreed it with my GP) until I spoke to a mental health nurse, and I am being irresponsible, selfish and self-opinionated. I never listen to her, treat her like a nobody, she is a psychotherapist and has life experience doncha know. I never listen to her opinion and never do what she says.

When I said to her I always have to listen to her negative opinion about bfing (she said my breast milk looked disgusting the other day) she said I have a bee in my bonnet about bfing and I just do without regard to how it affects anything else, and she just wants what's best for Lila and I make her upset and cry all the time with bfing but I am so selfish I do it anyway, and never listen to what she says even though she knows better.

Apparently I always make out life with a baby to be hellish, and it just shouldn't be difficult. And then she went off the phone because she couldn't talk to me any more because she was too upset.

I am so upset and furious with her. I just don't know what to do, I spent last night crying and had to cancel dinner at a friend's. I cannot keep having these fights with my mum. I need her support but she always has a go at me when I am at my most vulnerable, makes out like I am doing something wrong (by choosing not to put drug in my body if I think I don't need them) and then turns the situation around onto how it is affecting her. I just don't know what to do any more. I actually tried fighting my corner for once last night but didn't get very far.

Awww Bumper {{{{hugs}}}}}. I had a huge row with my mum a while ago (totally different reasons and before DD) and I have to say it affected me for AGES.

It is SO hard I know but you are an adult and I am sure you are putting DDs best interests first!

It probably is difficult for your mum to watch you have a difficult time and is only trying to help but is ending up being counter-productive and she can't see things from your POV.

Let the dust settle a bit.....be grateful she doesn't live a few doors away.....give her a call in a few days....you'll be fine

I don't know if any of that is of any help, but I really recognise how you feel with the guilt trips cos she's your mum but wanting to do things your own way....so big hugs to you x

btw I found the only answer for me (in order to protect myself) was to withdraw from my mum a bit...see and ring her at my convenience not because I thought I should (I had just lost my dad though) and when she makes suggestions re DD I say, oh yes, that's a good idea, I'll try that - and then do what I want anyway and tell her everything is fine.

Probably of no help to you either but its the only way I can cope with mine!

Aw Bumper, that sucks! Mothers should support their children, not make things 10 times worse! And you are not selfish by BF! I can understand you wanting to be off the ADs - frequent waking would definitely not help anyone. But take it easy, won't you.

Hopefully the next conversation with your mum will be a bit smoother. I hope so. It's difficult trying to stand up against parents (at least I find it difficult) so well done for trying. Can you talk to your mum and tell her you obviously have very different views on some things and agree not to go there again? Difficult, but might be the only way to get some peace.

Like your way of saying yes good idea and then ignoring, Norty. Might have to try that one myself sometime.

I had big (in fact huge for us) row with my Dad last time I went home. It was horrible. Thankfully it was forgotten the next morning (though am worried that my opinion might also have been forgotten with it, will find out next time we visit). I think partly by my Mum having a word with him. Can anyone else have a word with your mum, Bumper, to help you in any way?

Horrible isn't it- arguments with parents - it made me feel sick to my stomach...but certainly cleared the air....but I have to say things have not been the same since....but that is self-preservation on my part. Sometimes I think our parents forget it was 30+ years since they had a baby and things change! In my case, I get compared to my sister all the time...but perhaps I want to raise my children differently!

Thanks for the suggestions, they do all help. I've started to try all of them. I try not to tell her about the bad stuff and let her make suggestions. I also try being reasonable and not getting upset and calming explaining that we just disagree on certain things, not that i think she is wrong. But she just takes it all so personally and makes out like I am such a bad person and always in the wrong. She never apologises. I just need to practice all these things. I'm not going to call her, I'll wait for her to call me. Not because I'm being petulant, I just don't know what to say to her at the moment.

How is it that I am 26 years old but my mum still thinks she can tell me off and she still has such a hold over me? I just can't have these fights for the next 40 years.

Hope you both have a good day anyway

Me and DD going to GP this morning. I've got a throat infection and DD a chest infection ....Going to go and fight with phone the receptionist now...wish me luck

Bumper, Im 38 and still get treated like that - you're not the only one - just have to find a way of coping with it

Have a good day and don't worry about it

Yes, they do forget, my mum does the "I never found it this hard, it shouldn't be this difficult" speech.

DH want to have a word but I'm not sure if that will help as she'll see it like I am running to him and we are ganging up on her, she is being made out to be the bad person etc. (I know this from experience). Thanks for the advice anyway. It just makes me feel better that I am not the only one, and that everyone has some sort of issues with their parents.

Have a good day yourself Bumper, take care

I know what you mean about the receptionists. I tried to get a dr's about yesterday. They could only give me a week tuesday and I had to explain that I needed to talk to my dr about the ADs that I am on. I hate having to explain to them exactly why I need an appointment!

Hope you feel better soon x

Hi Bumper. Sorry to hear about rows with your mum. If yours is anything like mine then Norty's advice is sound. I just find the best way is to agree with EVERYTHING she says, but do my own thing anyway. She really does mean well - just not very diplomatic, or for that matter sensible! (e.g. she just bought a lovely acrylics paint set for DD1....who is not yet 3! That will go in the cubboard for a while. Funniest was the needlepoint set she gave her for her 1st birthday!)

BZ's mum could be in competition with mine for bad presents.

Actually I don't have too much hassle from my parents, but I do find that if we have any form of problem, however small, (not just with LO either) that my in-laws tend to see it as a problem for THEM to fix. I know they mean well, but often we know what we want to do, just need to get round to doing it, or I feel that at nearly 37 we should flippin' well be looking after ourselves, and that if we need help we'll ask for it. So mostly I just avoid telling them anything other than that everything's fine.

IME you're better off just letting the dust settle.....my DH keeps well out of it. I find myself being very hypocritical when talking about my mum...in that I can moan about her but when DH starts, that's not on ...if he had his way, we wouldn't bother .....but its very easy for an outsider (as such) to say that - but then again he can see the situation for what it is rather than my clouded view.

God, sorry, you've obviously caught me on a sore point....don't mean to go on about my mother!!

Got doctors at 10.30am....I didn't have to tell her what was wrong as I can hardly speak but the stupid woman still had to ask "Is it urgent for today"...well YES, my daughter is 5 months old FFS! God, I might give up work and become a doctors receptionist...I'm sure I've got the personality for it...not

Og god...don't get me started on in-laws

Well, doesn't that just go to show you? My mum has just sent me a text apologising for arguing and saying she knows I will do what I think is best and she is just worried about me because she isn't close by. Just when I think i have the measure of her she goes and surprises me like that.