TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

Just off out, will catch up this afternoon but loooooook 😎😍

@MrsEG - it’ll be a slight stretch but it would also be our home til retirement (the schools are fantastic!) so I’m really hoping we get it. I’m the main earner so it’s a bit of pressure but it’s fine!
Look at them 💙 that’s beautiful! It’s so lovely that they’ll always have each other. I want a sibling for Finn but these nights are putting it in jeopardy 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - oh god he’s gorgeous!! Cheeky little face.

Finn awoke refreshed earlier so we had some playtime in his big cot.
DH is on a half day and WILL come home with Starbucks 😂

@ELW85 that house!! 😍 I bet they're hoping for 500k at that price + new stamp duty announcement. Have you viewed it yet?! Finn is looking gorge as per. Did you get your Starbucks? How was the nursery?

@Fivebyfive2 yeah I'm exactly the same! But a long time in the sleep boards has convinced me to gently nudge her towards better sleep now because I cannot still not be sleeping a year from now. OMG how amazing he's already saying mama, that's so early! Cute onesie too 😍

@MrsEG thanks for sharing info about importance of letting them play on their mats. I don't do that enough! Today I dug out my old gym foam mat (lol it's getting no use from me atm) and she ended up rolling for the first time today! Totally get you on the breaking point being reached quicker with twins 😂 we're deffo there now, so I'm determined to improve our sleep situation. Bless your sister! Bet she's in awe of you with two good sleeps already. How was the pub?! Two hours baby free 🙌🏻. So cute how they're interacting with each other 💕

@MrsR16 sorry you're having a rough time sleep, it's so hard when they're awake in the wee hours isn't it?! Go easy on yourself. Sounds like a lovely weekend you've got coming up. So impressed with you delivering a course. I can barely get my words out these days 😅

We've had a lovely day after a rubbish one yesterday. She rolled for the first time back to front! It's sunny and we spent time with my parents and I went on a lovely baby free dog walk. She's also napped like a champ (1 hr 40, 1 hr 10 and 1 hr!!) with no resettling. Worked out she loves being on her side. Fingers crossed it works this well tonight!! She's currently down and we're about to have a beer and pizza. Yipeeeee! Have a good one all x

@purplefig So so glad you’ve had a better day today! Do you feel better for it? Go M with the rolling! I can’t keep the boys off their tummies now- that’s it, this is the start of it haha! Yeah, interestingly enough the boys have a lot of floor time as I plonk them down while I tend to the other a lot - and they were the first in our NCT group to roll and are now also sitting up. So perhaps there’s something in it! Weirdly though the physical therapist also really put me off using walkers and jumperoos as they hinder physical development, which is fairly devastating as Conor loves the door bouncer! It was great to chat to her though, and understand the important of just leaving them to it and letting them learn all these new skills on their own!

@Fivebyfive2 @ELW85 Fabulous pics to see - what happy little boys!

I had a wonderful few hours baby free today with the NCT gang! Chips and wine in the park, absolute bliss. Lovely leisurely stroll there and back too. And the boys were asleep when I got home so I even had time for a quick brew! I could do with many more days like today!

And while we’re all sharing pics, here’s my second born haha. I’m trying so hard to drink every bit of them in at the moment. I look back at newborn pics and they look like different babies. I know this face will change again so much in another month so I just wanna stare at it all day long!!

Evening all!

How are we? Nursery was nice but I’m 100% going to struggle in sending him. They were all like “see you soon” and my heart sank. I need some sort of lottery win so I can quit work but live a baller lifestyle 😂

@purplefig - I REALLY hope we get ours sold in time and they accept £499,999 for it, haha! They’re quite particular in that area so you aren’t allowed to view until you can evidence you’re proceedable.
Finn says thank you 💙
I got my Starbucks and a toastie...I knew there was a reason I married him 😂
Oh wow, how awesome M rolled! Did she just do it straight away?
Finn keeps lying on the mat kind of tensing his body and making “ih ih” noises like he’s trying to roll, bless him. He hates tummy time so I was convinced he’d roll front to back quicker to get off his belly but he just cries bless him.
How was your pizza? So jealous!!
Oh and those sleep boards petrify me.
So does the Beyond Sleep Training FB page. I love the ethos but there are hundreds of stories of “my 3 yo cries if they aren’t BF or held to sleep” nooooooo!

@MrsEG - ah it’s great you had a lovely couple of baby free hours! Are you going to make it a regular catch up? I totally would!
He’s gorgeous 💙 I know why you mean about them changing so quickly. I know it sounds weird but I looked at Finn today and saw him as a little person for the first time. Is it odd it’s taken this long?!

Have a wonderful night everyone!

@MrsEG I do feel way better for it, like day and night! Your day sounds so bloody lovely too. We do need some baby free time. Yeah it makes sense with your boys spending more time on their mats while you're dealing with their bro. Sad about the jumperoo, she loves it! Tbf we don't use it much, but it's fab for me downing my morning coffee 😂. Awww look at your little man 💕 what a cutie!

@ELW85 oh mate 💔 it's so hard isn't it? I was all up for M going to nursery at 9 months but I'm not sure now. We've tweaked finances so I can be off for a year...might be ready to cut the umbilical then 😂. Re: rolling she's been working on it for weeks! Finally got there today and she was SO pleased with herself. She hated tummy time to start with too. Omg can you imagine still having to feed a three year old to sleep?! Aghrrr. No thanks. Oh I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for you with the house - is yours up for sale soon? Exciting times!! Pizza was 👌🏼 and M even let us eat in peace for once!

Have a fab weekend all! x

@ELW85 I cried at my nursery show around! I was so embarrassed. She was lovely as was the nursery but it was all too real for me. They’ll be 10 months when they start and it puts a lump in my throat! I cried when she said ‘Usually when twins first start they sort of huddle together in a corner holding hands’ 😭😭😭
I totally know what you mean! The boys feel like little people know with their own little personalities coming out. DH was on a Zoom yesterday and Conor was just sat on the desk with him and my whole heart exploded. It took me a long time to love them due to PND so some days I feel I’m making up for lost time!

@purplefig Yep!! She did say 10 mins in them here or there does no harm but it’s when babies end up in them for extended periods (guilty) that it becomes detrimental. But who knows - my niece literally lived in hers and is fine. But didn’t walk til 18 months... another parenting ‘who the heck knows’ to add to the list!
I’m so so pleased you’ve had a better day. Will wish for many more of them for you!

Morning all!

Finn is 4 months today. Whaaaaat?! And how?!
He celebrated by having a cracking night and no 5.30 screaming fit!

@purplefig @MrsEG - he’ll be 7 months when he starts nursery and I hate myself for it. Like I say, I’m the main earner and we really need me to go back. I might look at it again today though.
The plus is that I’m WFH for at least the rest of the year so I could only have him in nursery 2 days and look after him at home as well as working as they don’t mind me making the time up when he’s in bed.

What does Saturday bring? It’s miserable here, I was going to take Finn for a birthday jaunt...

It’s early! Forgot...

@purplefig - hope to get the house up in the next week or so. There are loads of gorgeous ones on the market at the moment 😊
I think those sleep examples are extreme but there are too many of them and they freak me out!

@MrsEG - I’m so pleased your get those heart melting moments. PND is awful but you did so well to overcome it so quickly 💝

@ELW85 thank you lovely! My GP was telling me it could also have been as extreme as it was due to my thyroid treatment being so abruptly stopped as this can cause depression. Which makes me so cross as I wonder if I had stayed on the meds would I have felt a lot better in those early months? But not worth dwelling on!
I’m the same - high earner here so there’s no chance of me extending my mat leave. Weirdly I was up for 2 hours in the night stressing about money - I think because I had a day yesterday reviewing our finances against my part-time wage (re my ongoing work saga!) it was just all whizzing around my brain. The main thing that helps me with nursery though is I just know how much they’ll love it - I’ve never had a friend who’s told me any different, they skip in in the mornings without so much as a glance back and have a great time. I’m sure once they’ve been in a few weeks and I know the staff better etc I’ll be happier. But I’m gonna need a LOT of wine for those settling in days!
So pleased to hear Finn had a great night! Did you try anything different? (Isn’t it weird that we always used to ask that on TTC boards when people got a BFP - now it’s all about sleep tips!!!)
Happy 4 months gorgeous boy! Where is all the time going! Where are you planning the birthday jaunt?
No big plans today at all here - I think I may take the boys out for a big lunchtime stomp but other than that we’ve got a quiet one planned, DH is run ragged prepping to open the gym around all the new guidelines!

@MrsEG - I honestly think the lack of preventative care for mothers is shocking. I was taking high quantities of omega oils in the third tri for his brain development but also because a lack of it can cause PND. Where is all the guidance and support on this?

It’s tough being the mother and the high earner isn’t it?
I’m going to look at my maternity today and see if we can manage 8 months. I’d realistically have 33 days holiday to use so if we can afford November, I wouldn’t go back til Jan.
I really need to figure it out.
I’m sure he’ll absolutely love nursery and lots of my friends have said the same but I’m just really not able to do it in my head. I never thought I’d feel like this!

Where are you with the work situation? It’s absolutely shocking, and this is the last thing you should be having to deal with right now.

Finn says thank you very much 💙
Possible jaunt to parents I think. We’ll see, I’m gutted as I was a looking forward to a coast walk!

So last night I tried sleep sensor lights but to be honest, I don’t know if they were keeping him up longer?! Took him nearly 30 mins to drift off, but when I switched them off he was more focussed on sleep.

Tried them again for this mornings nap; same thing!
This morning though, he actually took his dummy out with his hand, put his face against his cuski and went to sleep?! WTF?! Long may that continue 😂
He did 10 hours last night with a 20 min feed in between. So around 5 hours in total. I honestly think the difference is crib naps. He might like napping on me but he won’t ever be going into a deep sleep as I’ll move etc or he’ll move. This way he’s totally in charge of how long he sleeps and settling himself.

I sound like I’ve cracked it...I haven’t!! Just enjoying it whilst it lasts 😂

Morning all!

@MrsEG, I love that picture of them together, it's adorable! I was in two minds about a jumperoo as I'd read about them not being good in some cases, but got one off ebay cheap, Joe goes in it for about 5 to 10 mins at a time, twice a day if that. He loves it but to be honest, any longer and he gets a bit over stimulated anyway!

@ELW85, ooo that house is amazing! We still need a Mumsnet Mansion though 😛

@purplefig, go M with the rolling!!

@MrsR16, how was Ethan last night?

Well, we had a lovely day in the park with my nct friend and her baby, both boys were good as gold and then Joe had a decent late afternoon nap. Had his greens for tea, sat happily while dh and I had Chinese, went to bed no problem at 8...was up 6 times between then and 5am 🙁 I think he was uncomfortable though, even asleep he kept stirring and when he woke he didn't seem very hungry, just wanted comfort. He's been the same this morning, I think he's teething and needs a poop, bless him. After an hour of trying, I finally got him asleep and put him in his cot, hoping he has a really good nap and feels better after 🤞

Also, I totally know what you mean about the pressure to go back to work, especially being the higher earner. I honestly don't want to go back and never thought I'd feel like that it's really surprised me!

@Fivebyfive2 - pleased you had a lovely time in the park but poor Joe being restless. Like you say, it’ll be teething or just having an off day and needing a cuddle.
I definitely know how he feels!
And agreed, the MN mansion would be a godsend. We’d need shares in Just Eat or Deliveroo and then MrEG could shout us all into shape after 😂
I’m currently going through the payroll calculations to see what the art of the possible is. Never EVER thought I’d feel this way. How strange!

Out of curiosity, when is everyone going back to work, baby age-wise?
Currently Finn will be 7 months but I could have all of December off paid, so we’d just need to cover my wages for half of September and then all of October and November...then in January he’d be 9 months (nearly 10) when he went to nursery.

Ahhh the whole returning to work this is so complicated isn't it?! It's definitely a deeply personal issue, but also intrinsically linked to lifestyle/income and what's feasible.

Our outgoings are fairly small, so I just need to earn enough to replace mat allowance to start with at least. So I think our plan is for mum to have her one day, then I might also do the odd evening / weekend. I can be fairly flexible though as I'm freelance and work from home. I'm putting nursery on the back burner until she's at least one, I think.

@MrsEG yeah I'll continue to use the jumperoo as it's fab when she's being fussy and I need to eat/drink, but I'm always mindful to not leave her too long. omg that's so cute/sad about the twins normally huddling together 💔 how amazing that they have a ready best BFF to grow up with?! So glad you're feeling mentally much brighter these days 💕 so shit they didn't mention the thyroid issue beforehand. I agree with ELW85 that maternal care leaves a lot to be desired in many cases. Since having M I've heard so many horror stories 😔 I'll never forget being in intense back labour pain for the third day, clearly starting not to cope and the midwife saying there was nothing she could do and to go home. So cruel.

@ELW85 happy four months Finn! What a way to celebrate too, clever little man. Do you feel lovely and refreshed?! Enjoy a trip to your parents later. It's fab you're WFH for the rest of the year 🙌🏻 and also that you're employers are being realistic about how flexible you'll need to be.

@Fivebyfive2 oh mate, it's a killer isn't it?! M had a shocker of a night too, and after a perfect day of naps. I just don't know what else to do?! Aghrrr pass the coffee! We put her down too early I think (6,30pm...but she'd been awake 2 hrs and was getting ratty!) she was then up wide awake at 9pm. Then back to bed 10pm. Then up 1am, 3am (took ages to go back), then up for the day at 6.30am.

@ELW85 I can be off until she's 1, but I might start doing the odd bit of work from when she's 9 months. But as I mentioned, I'm freelance and WFH so can be fair flexible. Could work during naps / evenings / weekends if needed (if she ever bloody sleeps). X

@MrsEG you are the sleep wizard imo. Do the boys have milk feeds at night still? I half think M won't sleep through until feeds stop.

@ELW85 Totally agree - I didn’t even know that about omega! I felt lost. At my 8-week check (which I was lucky to even have!) they didn’t even check my c-section stitches. My recovery only really started when I saw a women’s health physio privately.
The boys will be just 10 months when they start nursery - I saved all my hols last year to finish early and then will use all I’ve accrued for an extra 30 day’s after my mat leave ends, so they start nursery on December 1 (born Feb 4). My niece was 9 months. I think it’s a fairly average start age given how much SMP we get!

The work situation... is a mess now really. I have been told I could pursue it but the more me and DH have thought about it (now we’ve had to), the more we think me working 4 days would make us more financially secure. I just still hate the way work went about it, and don’t want to look like I’ve caved to their demands?! My parents have said they’ll have the boys one afternoon and DH will jiggle his schedule to make sure he’s off that morning, so we’re covered in that respect. So I’m still trying to figure out how to say to work ‘I’m mad you put me in this position, but I’ll do it’ if that makes sense!!

Finns naps sound fantastic - well done him and you!

@Fivebyfive2 Sounds like you had an absolutely lovely day but ugh the night sounds rough!! Maybe he was just dreaming about all the fun he’d had!

@MrsEG I completely agree! I feel like maternal and postnatal care is all just a bunch of checklists and guidelines and I know they’re needed but I don’t feel like women are personally listened to - we know our bodies and our minds and we know when something is up. It’s just so sad.
Ha sleep wizard! I’ll take it haha! No, they dropped the night feed - I used Charmians method to wean them off them, as I was becoming convinced they weren’t actually hungry for the feeds. So, I started trying to slowly decrease how much I gave them when they woke in the early hours and lo and behold, they still dropped right off after it. Soon I was just giving 1oz for a few nights and then that was that. The idea of course if they’re not satisfied then of course they are hungry so offer more! But for the boys, the definitely weren’t. I also kind of upped their feeds in the day too to ensure they had plenty of fuel for a good nights rest. I’d just make a big bottle and they’d take what they wanted, then I’d offer again after a burp or after 20 mins break. Now they both wolf 8-9oz down at each feed. They are very good feeders during the day! I feel once I wean I’ll be eaten out of house and home haha!

@ELW85 Ha just spotted your comment - MrEG would totally whip us all in to shape in our Mumsnet mansion haha!

Re the return to work... I'm going back when Joe is a year old, in December, but because of holiday, won't be full time until about Feb. Also, apparently I'll probably be working from home until at least January /Feb time as they are in the process of doing up our new premises. For childcare, I think both mils will help out and depending on the nursery situation, one or both of us might drop one day a week. We need to properly sit down and sort it really!

Wish me luck ladies, I need to ask (tell) dh about us needing to re vamp the bathroom 😂 It's absolutely tiny and when we moved in 8 years ago, we did it in a rush and didn't really factor in child safety!! Luckily it's the only room that really needs much doing though, so hopefully it won't be too bad.

@Fivebyfive2 Good luck! We’re having our bathroom done in October. We’re the same, it’s tiny and sort of functional but we’ve been here 3 years and it’s falling apart now - the side of the bath pops out and the loo flush can’t hack more than about 2 sheets of loo roll before it blocks!! X

Afternoon!

I'm so behind on the thread again!! Made an effort to get out everyday this week which has been great. Think all the travel/fresh air has been making Esme sleep longer overnight.

In answer to the work Q. I'm main earner here too (roughly double) but saved up ++ so taking the full year plus accrued annual leave so she'll be 13 months when I go back. I've got 3.5 months training left then will start my consultant job. Planning on going back full time which will be shifts til August then with consultant job will have a fixed day off a week. My on calls will be from home too and only 1 in 15 days 🎉🎉🎉 which is so much better than trainee hours (1 in 3 resident shifts). My mum is going to do one day (she's do 5 if I let her 🤣) and DH thinking of dropping to 4 days a week so will likely be in nursery 2/3 days a week.

I wasn't going to take the full year but with Covid happening I really wanted some normal matty leave plus want the hospital to be back to normal when I go back.

Also, agree with you all re not expecting to feel the way I do. The love I have for her has hit me like a ton of bricks and is so much deeper than I ever thought possible. Never say myself as particularly maternal before but god I would just die for her. Took a few months to get here though, I just didn't know her well enough at first.

Here's my happy girl in her bouncer this morning 🥰🥰.

I've just been catching up on this thread, we went out this morning to a farm park and now I'm sitting on our driveway while Dex naps in his car seat, don't want to disturb him cos then he'll be up for the rest of the day and he'll be tired at dinner time.

Re. return to work, I went back at 9 months, working from home though as my office is still closed. I'm the main earner and DH is a SAHD. It's worked out really well so far, it's great working from home cos I can still breastfeed Dex a couple of times a day and I can spend my lunch break with him.

@MrsEG that fudge looked amazing, I want fudge now! I don't think bouncers etc can be that bad, Dex loved his jumperoo so was in it daily and he was the first in my nct group to crawl and first to pull himself up (and he's the youngest in the group)

@ELW85 that house looks amazing!

@stormtrooperjulian my niece lived in her walker, she ate her breakfast in it! I was so sad to here the PT say it - but I was thinking, she’s a physical therapist, of course she’s going to hate anything that does the work for them!!
How are you finding being back working?
I hate to blow my own trumpet but the fudge is amazing haha. I’ve had so many requests for more so it’s becoming a very small side hustle (I probably make £200 a month off it but still!!)

@LikeTheFruit I was exactly the same - took me a while to get there, but now I am just utterly obsessed with them. They’re quite mobile now so we’re all over the place stopping them rolling in to things but we said ‘you’d sever your arm before you’d let them break a nail, wouldn’t you?!’
Also, my mum is the same!! My god her face lit up when she realised she’d be having them for an afternoon!!
I think it’s totally fair to want some ‘normal’ mat leave. I’ve actually just booked on for baby sensory next month, can’t believe we’re actually doing an actual baby thing!!
Esme is just utterly gorgeous 😍