Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@Fivebyfive2 I had a good night thanks! Boys went down at 7 and slept til 6:30 😻 - Ruairí had a fuss at 3 but DH gave him a dummy and he just drifted right back off! I had a Zoom call with my friends but only managed a few glasses of vino haha, could barely keep my eyes open!

Some friends gave us a huge bag of sensory stuff - they’ve never been arsed before but as they’re 4 months now I cracked it out and they bloody LOVE the foil blanket!! Seriously who needs toys haha!

@ELW85 @MrsEG @MrsR16 @purplefig
Thanks lovely ladies. It's the loneliest time but knowing we are all in the same boat makes it a bit less lonely :)

@MrsEG Happy Birthday for yesterday! Glad the boys gave you an good night to celebrate. For some strange reason I decided to choose my birthday night to take Daisy's dummy away so it was absolute carnage haha. Aww look at them on that foil blanket, bless them. Reminds me I have one somewhere, I must dig it out.

@Fivebyfive2 Err Joe, you're meant to be all sleepy after a massage 🤔 somehow I think if we were to get a lovely massage we wouldn't look so energetic. If only :) Well done him managing such a good night though, have you started to use the resources your friend gave you?

@ELW85 6.5 hours is brilliant! Hope he managed an equally good night last night.

@MrsH497 I find the lighter sleeping bags most useful but then our bedrooms get really hot. When Daisy slept in our room through winter our bedroom was normally at 20+ degrees and her nursery has been reaching 25c in this recent hot weather. She's also a warm baby and gets grumpy when she's hot so normally slept in a 1.5 tog over winter and is in a very thin muslin sleeping bag at the moment. It depends on your house and whether Charlotte is a particularly warm or cool baby. With lighter sleeping bags you can layer up- vest, baby grow, socks so I find them more versatile but if you don't live in a greenhouse like us you might need to layer up even with a thicker sleeping bag. If you google baby sleeping bag tog guide it will give you an idea of what baby should be wearing depending on temperature. I've attached one to this post :)

I messed up all the tagging and forgot the photo 🤦🏻‍♀️

Morning all

I obviously jinxed myself mentioning Finn’s sleep; he was up every 3 hours last night and got really congested so ended up with mama cuddles at 5am. I’m shattered.
I knew it was going to happen; he was really struggling with getting into a deep sleep yesterday and only managed it around 6.30 but we really needed him to have one more feed. He was just in super light territory after that. Grr.

@Fivebyfive2 - go Joe!! That’s brilliant!
For Father’s Day I’ve got DH some shower stuff and I’m getting an afternoon tea delivered. He’s got such a sweet tooth!

@MrsEG - I e not seen those blankets before; they look like they’ve just run a marathon 😂

@TrashKitten10 - I hope you’re feeling better today. It’s super tough, but we have each other!

@trashkitten10, I've had a read and we have swapped things over a bit. We do moisturising, pj's and sleeping bag on his cosy cushion downstairs, story and a feed on the sofa. Then I take him up and very gently rouse him ever so slightly if he's fallen asleep on the boob, put him down and leaving my hand on his chest so he drifts back off.

There's some really interesting stuff about setting up a sensory nursery, having gentle sensory play in the cot, so they associate the cot as being relaxing and safe, but also nice and a bit fun I guess? We might try that when he's in his room. Have ordered a white noise machine that is also a light projector... And some foil blankets 😀

@ELW85, sorry to hear Finn didn't have such a good night, sometimes stuff just doesn't quite fall into place. Hopefully tonight will be better!

@Fivebyfive2 - sleep is definitely an obsession for me at the moment! If I could put Finn down for longer than 30 seconds, I’d read the sleep book and do some prep work for after the 4th tri!
He seems to be napping better today...famous last words!!

@ELW85, try not to obsess! It will improve, but they're so young it will keep changing. Joe suddenly started doing 10 hours with 1 wake and self settling at 11 weeks, out of nowhere. Then it went to pot at 17 weeks and has been a bit random since. It's settling down a bit now, just in time for it to all change as we move him to his room and start solids over the next few weeks! But it will settle again.

@Fivebyfive2 - you’re right; I think I’m just so tired that I’ll do anything to improve it!
This whole “sleep when they sleep” thing - I’d love to! But he won’t nap!!

Afternoon ladies - so the boys are just over 17 weeks old and have been great sleepers but it’s all going to shit! I feel like the last week we’ve had night wakings, and day naps are all over the place. I never know if they’ll go down for 2 hours or 20 minutes! I know it’s the sleep regression and the fourth leap and it’s the toughest month etc but uuggghhhh! The day has just been all over the place! Anyone been through similar and survived it??

@ELW85 I nearly swung for my MIL when she casually dismissed the awful night Id had early on and said 'just have a nap when she does'. Like I'd not thought of that?! Kinda relies on the baby a) having a nap and b) having that nap somewhere other than my chest.

@MrsEG 4 months was a real low point, the sleep regression is ROUGH. You'll get to the other side though and it's great the boys had a good starting point to get back to.

So the whole 'put down baby sleepy but awake'. She was sleepy, 90 minutes ago. She's been pissing about in her cot ever since, rolling around, babbling, yawning, crying. I go in, pat, soothe, walk away and the whole cycle repeats. What do I do?! All she wants to do is mess around and play in her cot, however tired she is. I'm in tears. About to give up and just get her up. She's had two hours sleep all day and is knackered but I just can't get her to go down. After seven months I shouldn't still be failing at this 😢

@MrsEG the four month sleep regression is TOUGH. I found 4 months way harder than having a newborn, I really struggled. It does get better, I promise. Just hang in there.

@TrashKitten10 I sleep trained at 6.5 months. I know it's not something that everyone is comfortable doing but it really works. You're not failing! Babies are hard work and I think having sleep issues is much more common than not having issues!

@MrsEG - oh god; I didn’t know the 4th month is the worst. Brace, brace. You’ve done well to complete sleep training IMHO so you should be proud! If it’s just a regression thing, I’m sure they’ll go back to normal.
I subscribed to the ‘little ones’ sleep programme and I never know how they guarantee you’ll stitch all their sleep cycles together and get a solid 2.5 hour lunch nap...seems pretty difficult! You’ve got this though!

@TrashKitten10 - EXACTLY! My mother and MiL are a constant WhatsApp fucking chorus of “put him down, you need your day to yourself; you’re spoiling him” how DH and I made it through that, Christ knows!
And the one time (I know, consistency is key) I tried to do the drowsy but awake thing, Finn just sprung into life, eyes wide open chatting away to me.
You’re not failing at anything!! If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think Finn had had 2 hours as a delivery disturbed lunchtime and I’ve just managed to get him down now. Too scared to put him in the sleepyhead as he needs his sleep guaranteed, which appears to be on me x

@TrashKitten10 @stormtrooperjulian thank you so much - honestly it’s just reassuring to know it’s not just me and these boys have just lost the plot haha! I actually agree - this past week has been so hard - haven’t felt like this since the newborn weeks! Their sleep is just all over the place. Last night they slept well but every nap today has been a disaster. Thank god I still have all that wine ready to ride this out!!

@ELW85 Yeah I didn’t know until recently either - apparently month 4 and 8 are super tough! Its just blindsided me a bit especially as they had been doing so well! I have to console myself that it’s just their brains going through some crazy developments so it’ll all be worth it in the end......! How is Finn doing now, has he managed a nap?

@MrsEG, you'll get through it! That's exactly when Joe's sleep went to pot. He's 25 weeks now and it's better but still up and down. I'm probably too relaxed though!

@TrashKitten10, definitely not failing! Joe is 6 months next week and still has loads of his naps on me! Daisy will get the hang of it xx

@stormtrooperjulian, how did you find sleep training at that age? I mightdo some gentle training at about 6.5 months if we're still having problems!

@ELW85, lol at all the advice that says 'just' put them down drowsy but awake, like it's not some magical, elusive state!!

@stormtrooperjulian What did you do? I thought tbh what I was doing was sleep training but it appears to not be training her to do anything other than drive me to distraction so it's obviously not right. She's so hit and miss, this morning it took 5 minutes and me going in once and this afternoon she just won't go down at all.

@ELW85 How ridiculous, you can't spoil a tiny baby. Families hey! Enjoy the snuggles as much as you can although I remember how relentless it is just being napped on all the time.

@MrsEG I don't even drink wine but I'd take a bottle off your hands right now  cheers to shit sleep! 🙈 I think 4 months is tough as well as you've had a few weeks of loveliness and then BAM, grumpy tired baby/babies. And people think you're past the point of newborn chaos and exhaustion but it gets you for a second round haha.

@Fivebyfive2 Bless him, and you- you always come across so chill about it all :)

@MrsEG Ahh I'm chuffed you had a lovely evening and the boys gifted you the best gift they could: SLEEP! M is 15 weeks tomorrow...aghrr!! Hahaha. I'll just keep keeping on with it - tbh her sleep had got terrible before we started the routine so I am low key hoping that was the regression (apparently it can start as young as 3 months and she was nearly 2 weeks overdue...I know, I know....desperate aren't I?). What sort of stuff have you noticed the boys doing? M is so alert now and turning into a right little character. Totally agree with you - having a sense of the day is major. I'm doing pretty good post mastitis thanks - I don't think I really processed how severe it was at the time. At one point they were worried about sepsis and transferred me for one to one care. But I feel so so so much better now...going to start running again soon I think, if I can muster the energy. I've downloaded couch to 5k app and ordered a sports bra in my new (gigantic) size...now just have to, you know, do the running part...sigh....

@ELW85 Good plan! I read it one weekend while DH had the baby (save for feeds). Then I came up with a plan and we put it into action on Monday. Also you might already have spotted this if you've started it, but the book is a bit all over the place. I found it useful to make notes (and write which page number they correlate to), so you can go back and re-read bits. I also only read the relevant chapters (can you tell I was desperate)?! M has been doing fine sleeping next to us at night and napping in her nursery in the day, but last night was a shocker, so I'll have to keep an eye on it. I hear you on the weight thing - M is over a stone now and my back just cannot take rocking her for 20/30 mins to get her off. I really, really hope it works out for you. And wowowow 6.5 hours is AMAZING!

Well after my post extolling the virtues of routines, M had a shocker of a night last night! We were up three times and I am bloody shattered today after getting used to just once a night. Corrr they don't half like to keep you on your toes don't they?! x

Finn is a nightmare. He was zonked out on me, put him down like a trained assassin; no trace and 12 mins later he’s awake.
He’s got the most flailing arms and legs I’ve ever seen.
He’s lying there happily not kicking off but I’ve had zero time to nap or brush my hair. I really hope this gets easier.
And I hope tonight he goes back to 6 hours through the night. I’m beyond tired.

Sorry for the whinge, I know we’re all in the same boat.

I’ve heard they go into better sleep cycles at 12 weeks. If anyone can attest to that, I might cry with happiness.

@purplefig - I had no idea how bad your mastitis was. That’s awful and I’m so pleased you’re out the other side. Fingers crossed M gets back into her routine, gorgeous little terror!!

@MrsEG - I’m genuinely in awe of how well you’ve done with the boys so I’m sure if anyone can master the 4 month regression it’s you!

@TrashKitten10 @Fivebyfive2 - they do sleep less on you now though, don’t they? I feel like there’s no end in sight and it’s my fault for not being harsh and putting him down all the time but with his reflux when he was newborn I had to hold him for 30 mins after food, which means whilst he slept so now I guess he expects it...

@Fivebyfive2 the sleep training went really well. He'd pretty much got the hang of it after 3 nights and was totally sorted within a week. I was dreading it but I'm so glad we did it

@TrashKitten10 we used the Ferber method. Put baby down awake, leave the room. Come back in after the set time, spend up to 2 minutes patting, shushing, stroking (we didn't pick him up), then leave again til the next check in. See photo for the intervals we used....

@ELW85 we let Dex sleep on us for most naps til 6 months old. We moved to napping in his pram at 6 months then into his cot at 7 months once the nighttime sleep was sorted. He has every nap in his cot now unless we're out. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to cuddle him while he slept, I just ignored people (my mum) telling me that I should put him down. I miss the sleepy cuddles now.

@TrashKitten10 the pic didn't attach...

@stormtrooperjulian - was it difficult to get him to nap in the cot after that time and does he have decent naps? Fin goes between crap cat naps to randomly 3 hours a pop!
Today though he was zonked out on me for an hour; put him down...12,mins later he’s awake. WTF?!
I will of course miss the sleepy cuddles I’m sure but at the moment I wish I could catch up on my sleep so I can be a less exhausted mama to him!
Of course he smiles and giggles and it’s all worth it.

Can I have some opinions please...Finn May start yawning after being awake for 50/60 mins. I’d always pegged his golden time to be 1h20 as his max awake but this avo he’s gone straight to looking drowsy at the 1h50 mark and has gone to sleep by just talking to him!
Didn’t realise my craic was that bad...

So tired I forgot to finish my question!
Do you think I should keep trying to get him down at first yawn or use this longer wake time to the point of drowsy?

@stormtrooperjulian Thank you, I'll have a proper read up on it and then chat to DH so we are on the same page. At the moment I normally go in and pat and he sometimes goes in and rocks so we need to decide a plan of action.

@ELW85 I'm not a sleep expert by any means 🙈 but I'd say nearly 2 hours seems a bit too long awake time for a baby of Finn's age. You don't necessarily want them so tired they just conk out I don't think. Daisy managed 6 hours awake time today before just conking out but I know that was wayyyy too long. I think you're better to try to get them down sleepy but not exhausted.

@Fivebyfive2 Thanks love! Glad Joe is coming out on the other side now!

@TrashKitten10 That’s exactly it - it’s like ‘Man thank god that newborn phase is over!’ And then oh noooo!! Hope you’re feeling a bit better now?

@ELW85 I’d just go with the awake times at his age - sometimes I was struggling to keep them awake longer than an hour especially in the mornings (which made no sense to me - you’ve only just woke up!!) - I noticed their awake windows getting longer after 3 months. Even now we’re only really at 1.5-1.75 hours awake time. To be honest I think Ruairí could go longer but Conor gets tired so I put them both down (poor old Ruairí!) But that’s at 17 weeks!

@purplefig I so hope for your sake she’s already gone through it haha! Ah enjoy it - I’m starting running now too. I have to work super hard because of my diastasis to keep my core engaged while I run. Which is hard haha! But my god that 25 mins of freedom!!
The boys are just amazing in the past week - the main thing has been them noticing each other! They look so shocked and then just laugh! They also seem so strong - they can go in the Jumperoo and sit up for a few seconds unaided. That’s just come out of nowhere! They also suddenly find absolutely everything hilarious and belly laugh all the time (especially when having their nappy changed!) And their hands!! My god the obsession continues haha. And just their coordination, they can reach out to grab things really well now, and hold on to stuff for a good while rather than just immediately dropping it!

Hope everyone’s having a good evening! I bought the boys a few books yesterday on different races and ethnicities etc recommended during the social media blackout - having a read of one and it’s so lovely. I really want a very diverse range of books for the boys - two faves already are Tough Guys have feelings too and the Rhinocorn.
Also - I have literally just realised there is poo all over my sleeve. Thanks Conor. Off to change and shower - have good evenings ladies!

@MrsEG, oh my god I hate it when you just 'discover' poo on the clothes or back of an arm or something! Those books sound fab, we're reading a set of winnie the pooh stories at the moment, but it would be nice to get some more diverse materials 🤓

Sooo... I have couple of really stupid questions!

Crawling - Joe has started to attempt this recently and although I'm sure it's quite a way off really, it's got me thinking; our living room is all laminate floor and I can't imagine it'll be very comfy for him?? At the moment he's 'confined' to play mats and a big rug, but eventually he'll be off! Shall I get some of those big foam tiles for a bit do you think??

Teething - now, we thought Joe started teething at about 4 months (drool, chewing etc) but since 5 months he's had 2 instances of showing those signs and loads of crying, ear tugging etc. I still can't see or feel anything coming through, but I'm assuming it's teething and have given him calpol; do you think this is OK??