November 2019 babies

[PyjamasForever]

A place to catch up on what's happening with our November 2019 babies.

@Kaff83 @Weathergirl1 thank you, that's reassuring that the procedure doesn't cause too much upset. The speech aspect is one of the reasons I'm very tempted to go back for it as the procedure seems to get more invasive the older the child gets. DD is also pretty sicky which they've said is possibly due to her taking in quite a lot of air when she feeds, so it would be nice to correct that! I did try that technique with her when I gave her a bottle and it seemed quite successful!
@Unsureursula how did you get on at the hospital? Hope it was just a case of antibiotics.
@smartcarnotsosmartdriver DD only started to gain weight by day 10, I think she lost close to 10% in the end before putting it back on. It just meant we had a few extra appointments with the midwife but she said she prefers to look at babies overall well being such as wet and dirty nappies and whether they settle after a feed instead of just weight gain alone as I think some can loose a lot more than others despite there being nothing wrong.

Hi All, Thanks for your good wishes. So they took bloods and put me on an antibiotic. They said if the lump hadn’t gone down in 48 hours to go back to triage. Unfortunately the lump is very much still there so looks like I’ll have to go back tonight :(
I’m really worried it’s some sort of cyst or adhesion.
Hope everyone else is doing well and glad to see babies are gaining weight and feeding better each day

I've been on the December group but my little guy was born 18/11 at 38 weeks. We had a dramatic start with EMCS and some time in scbu but are thankfully home now.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver Wet and dirty nappies are a good sign, and some babies can tend to favour one side over the other at times although I believe it comes and goes. If his latch is good then you have a great starting point.

We're having to go back in to the hospital, I'm devastated.

Oh no @smartcarnotsomartdriver. Are you going in for you or for baby?

Oh no @smartcarnotsosmartdriver hope everything is ok?

So baby is just over 2 weeks old and is having more awake time but I’m finding that she’s always grumpy and unsettled when she’s awake if she’s not feeding. Is anyone else finding that?

@Zarara I wondering exactly the same thing. She's either asleep, feeding or fussing. I was just going through pictures of my DS to see when that stage stopped!!

@PyjamasForever @Zarara it's for baby. He's jaundiced and he's lost a lot of weight. I'm breastfeeding and I just feel like I've massively let him down. Can't stop crying.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver you absolutely haven't let him down, although I understand how hard it is going back to hospital. Jaundice is common in babies, do you know how far above the treatment Line he is and what treatment he's getting?

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver you have not let your beautiful baby down, this happens more often than you would think. Breastfeeding can be tricky to get started, especially if baby is jaundiced and that is absolutely not your fault... it's just bad luck.

If you are still set on breastfeeding this is just a bump in the road and with some more help, once baby is a bit better you can get back on track. I'm guessing you'll end up mixed feeding for now, which feels like the end of the world but really isn't.

I have a bit of experience with this, so if you want to DM please do. Also happy just to be there for a bit of moral support.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver sorry to hear you're back in hospital. As the others have said you have absolutely not let him down. I know there are plenty of people who have to supplement with formula at the beginning and some who have to switch to formula entirely, this is not a failure either. Hopefully things will pick up once his jaundice is resolved.

@codenameduchess apparently he's well below the treatment line but they think it's making him sleepy and less likely to feed.
@PyjamasForever they've suggested mixed feeding but it really makes it feel like all the hrs work over the last few days has been for nothing at all.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver it can make them sleepy, but it will get better once they jaundice settles. I had the same with my DD, couldn't wake her enough to feed for about a week so we ended up combi feeding until it passed.

Even with combi feeds you'll still be establishing bf, you could try expressing so baby gets more breast milk and your supply can establish. If you're at the hospital ask if you can borrow a pump and use a cup to give anything you express.

We've been admitted, they've given us a private room so it's lovely and quiet and they've given me a great big pump to use. Managed to express loads so they think the issue is with his latch not my supply. Even if I ended up bottle feeding expressed milk I think I could be ok with that but they want me to offer him breast before bottle to try and keep him on there.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver glad you've been settled into a side room. Great news that you're managing to express lots. If the thought is that the problem is latch and milk transfer some time with a lactation consultant once you're discharged will help. Lots of babies who end up exclusively breastfeeding have trouble latching at this point. If you end up giving some expressed milk by bottle look up paced bottle feeding, it mimics breastfeeding more so reduces the chance of nipple confusion. Other options are cup feeding (although some hospitals are now funny about this) or a supplemental nursing system. Lots of skin to skin too, and make sure you are being kind to yourself.

Thank you @PyjamasForever it's been a long night with loads of crying. I'm usually managing to express enough for his next feed but he's had to be topped up with formula once. I felt a little smug that he didn't particularly seem to like it. The thought of taking him home when they say we can leave and feeding him myself again is absolutely terrifying. I've bought a good pump and I think trying to bottle feed expressed milk will be the way forward. I have no way of knowing how much milk he's getting otherwise and I just don't trust myself to get it right, I thought I was getting it right before. I absolutely loved breastfeeding, his wee face as he feeds is the cutest thing and the little flutter he does but what I like is not worth his health. I'll be upset about it for a while but I do think in the long run it's the right thing to do and if I can at least express for him then I'm helping him a little.

Oh this is nice that you set this up!

Our little one is 2 weeks tomorrow. We are struggling with feeding and giving formula too which I didn't want to but needs must. Still has a touch of jaundice too so midwife is coming tomorrow.

I am battling with feelings of missing pregnancy and being so super tired that I feel like I'm neglecting her. I'm guessing this is all normal

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver how are you both getting on now? Just an idea but you can always top him up when you are home directly from the breast, it might mean that you still get to enjoy your little moments together whilst also knowing how much he has had.

@Sleepyquest congratulations, I found the first two weeks the hardest in terms of feeding. I was always worried she wasn't getting enough come the evening.

My little one is 4 weeks today and has her first cold, kindly gifted by her sisters. I feel so bad for her.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I have a friend who exclusively expressed for a year, it was hard work but she managed. If you enjoyed breastfeeding directly from the breast and you have breastmilk you could do a mixture of both, and perhaps over time you'd be happy reducing top ups as you can see baby growing and thriving? I think the most important thing is just not not make a decision while you're upset or stressed. Do what you need to do now, and then make whatever decision works for you when you have the headspace to think around all your options.

@sleepyquest first few weeks is always tricky, the exhaustion doesn't help, but you're doing an amazing job. I know I sound like a broken record but a lactation consultant is worth their weight in gold if you are having breastfeeding worries, and then have some food tricks for slowly and safely reducing formula if that is what you want to do. The website kellymom is also very useful!

@sleepyquest if it's any comfort I feel like I've paid no attention to my little one as her brother has had a high fever for six days now, and I've been driving myself crazy with worrying about what he might have (I really should know better than to Google by now) and worrying about her catching it. I definitely struggle to manage my emotions at the moment! Also means we've spent most of my partners pat leave either in hospital or with a sick older one home from school. Meh! All of us are on tilt over at our house except the baby who is pretty chilled!! Just hoping once everyone is well I can enjoy a few peaceful days with her before Xmas hits!

I've decided to stop breastfeeding. I can't keep up with him and he's eating more formula than expressed milk as it is. I want to enjoy him and get to love him instead of being hooked up to a breast pump. I know the decision will go down like a ton of lead with my midwife but so be it.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks, you're doing the right thing for you and your baby boy. fed is best and this way you get to be there with him - not hooked up to a pump worrying about volumes.

Don't worry about the reaction of your HV or Mw. I stopped expressing at 2 weeks as just wasn't getting anywhere and they basically just shrugged and told me not to worry and were super supportive about what I'd managed to do.

Thank you @codenameduchess and @PrayingandHoping while I was pregnant I really didn't think I cared how he was fed so long as he was fed but all these extra hormones and opinions have thrown me.
I have this horrible fear that something will happen to him because he's on formula. Irrational I know.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver please don't worry about what anyone else thinks about any of your parenting decisions. I think even the most pro-breastfeeding healthcare professionals actually care most that you are happy and supported to make the right choice for you (whatever that choice is).