The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #1

[Angelmiracle]

Congratulations to all the mamas with their new babies 🌸

Now the fun really starts 😄

@toastfiend - baby boy - 28/01/2019
@TheWanderlust - Baby girl - Althea - 7lb6oz - 16/02/2019
@PurpleFlower1983 - Baby girl - Matilda - 17/02/2019
@Wineandchoccy - Baby girl - Lois - 6lb12oz - 19/02/2019
@Harley8888 - Baby boy- Logan - 7lb4oz - 01/03/2019

Haven't tried sleeping next to one of us, do you just have them sleep literally on the bed next to you? Obviously without any duvet, pillows etc?

@caseofellen I sleep with DS next to me in the bed (DH has been evicted to spare bed so it’s just me and him in a king size). I make sure there are no pillows/ divers near him - I have one pillow and wrap my duvet round me, waist down like a sleeping bag. Then I sleep on my side kind of curled round him - almost like the recovery position,

Duvets not divers (although there are no divers in the bed either!)

@caseofellen @hermagsjesty I do as Hermags describes too but DH is the other side of me.

@Wineandchoccy happy birthday to your DD!

@CaseofEllen we do the same in bed after the 3/4am wake up. DH is on the sofa bed at the moment and DD2 is on the other side of me. We've just bought her a new bed though so are hoping she'll sleep in that moving forward!

@caseofellen We sleep on the same bed, DH behind my back and I'm facing the LO. As our usual bed is memory foam and quite soft, we are in the guest room where the mattress is firm, as he was rolling onto me too much on the memory foam. My LO is just in his vest and babygrow, so I usually do cover his feet, but clamp the duvet between my knees, so it can't ride higher and I have one thigh under his feet, so he can't burrow lower. He often sleeps on his side (facing me), which gives me a chance to massage his back when he's windy.
We've managed first night in the next to me tonight, but he doesn't settle very well in there and it takes him forever to fall asleep, which means less sleep for me, too

Hope E had a good birthday @wineandchoccy!

DD had her tongue tie snipped today - wish someone had warned me she might not be able to feed some hours later. She really struggled when we just tried, but is obviously shattered as she is now asleep on my shoulder.

@SquirtlesMumAgain she did thanks although got very cranky mid afternoon and had a nap for the 1st time in ages it all got a bit much I think.

Oh no I hope the feeding improves when E had hers done feeding was a lot better really quickly

@SquirtlesMumAgain I am so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your Mum...such a shock for you and your family. It's really heartbreaking I hope you have good support around you 💐🥀

Hope your DD is able to feed better soon xx

I need somewhere to have a rant. My 3 year old is making me scream in anger what feels like constantly. He can be lovely then just turn and do something naughty then gets told not to and from then decides to do everything naughty, throwing, kicking, screaming. I can't cope with him anymore, I'm too tired and don't have the patience, which just makes his behaviour worse. Just spent the hour in tears because I told DH I don't like DS anymore and feel so guilty, especially since his behaviour is just an example of my (poor) parenting.

Oh @jenfur I know that feeling!! My 5yo and 7yo are off on school holidays this week and are taking it in turns to really push my buttons. It’s so hard to keep your temper when you’re already tired. Have definitely turned into shouty Mum!!

@Jenfur from a FTM I have absolutely no idea how you're looking after a newborn and a toddler and yourself all at the same time! Please don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing amazing. Even if you can't always see that! I am in awe of all you mummies xx

@Jenfur a hug from me it’s hard dividing yourself in 2. My dd turned 4 yesterday and is ok as long as she kept busy, when I am feeding dd2 I have been reading, doing fuzzy felts, colouring with her so that she doesn’t feel left out.

Sorry I posted to soon @Jenfur hopefully it is just whilst he adjusts to being a big brother and will be ok soon.

Hi everyone, sorry I've been a bit MIA of late but hope you're all doing well? Things are ok here, still having trouble with latch on left boob for some reason but persevering as it's almost there. Melissa is doing really well aside from a few bad days here and there, but that's obviously quite normal.

@cardboard33 I've just ordered the Haakaa, it's £9.10 atm plus delivery. I do well with the electric pump having mastered it first time around (would have given up if the pump hadn't worked as had a rough time) but I'm excited to see what the haakaa can do on the unused boob.

@CaseofEllen I hope you're on the mend after all you've been through.

@SquirtlesMumAgain I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. xxx

@Jenlou1992 I hope you're doing ok.

@Jenfur so sorry you're struggling with your DS. Juggling older children at this point is so difficult and I sincerely doubt it's down to poor parenting, more likely a phase! Don't be too hard on yourself.

Does anyone else get night dread as the evening comes? The thought of another long & exhausting night of feeding, crying, burping, postering, nappy changing while DH happily sleeps is making me feel tearful tonight...

@Jenfur Sorry to hear your DS is trying your patience so much. You (and all the other mums of more than one child) have my admiration. I have already very firmly decided that one will be enough for us. I don't know how you all do it

@KarBB I have morning dreads, as mine is a really bad daytime sleeper. And I'm really really struggling to sleep in the day, even when he's asleep or out on a walk with DH. Hopefully I didn't jinx this night now!

@KarBB I have the night dreads too. He sleeps all day (been awake for maybe 3 hours in total since 8am) and then wakes every 3-4 hours at night but stays awake for 2 hours every time. He starts fussing around 7pm every night and as soon as he does, I can't wait for the night to be over.

On a different note, I was told when I left hospital not to have a bath after my c section but I didn't ask how long to leave it before I'm allowed to have one. Does anyone else know please? I could murder a nice long soak with a book and a glass of wine. I'm only 2 weeks pp so I'm assuming I've got a few weeks to go yet!

@Jenfur I have a 6 year old DS and I'm shouting constantly and it's mainly because of exhaustion. Plus he's out of routine not making 8pm bedtime most nights and homework is a nightmare!! I'm hoping it settles soon

DD is doing great. Much more content than DS ever was but still having wind/farting issues. So far she cluster feeds in afternoon/evening and sleeps 3-4hrs a time at night between feeds. It's the constant visitors that are draining me!

@assumeitwassomethingclever I had my dressing removed on day 4 and bathed from day 7 . My midwives were happy with that . It's probably different advice every Where but I haven't had a problem with my wound .

@Jenfur the only reason I am coping with my toddler is because I have two or three other adults on hand to look after him most days. This means he is happy and engaged and not resenting me or baby J for the changes we have wreaked in his life! I know damn well that if it was just me and the two kids day in, day out, things would not be so smooth. As it is I barely see DS1 and I am absolutely hating it. My husband pointed out this morning that what I am experiencing with DS1 is what most men experience with newborns - an inability to give them what they need most of the time, and feeling like you are being held at a distance from them. I thought that was an interesting point.

@KarBB I was dreading tonight after a bad night last night. So far it has been worse than anticipated! Baby J fed basically on the hour between 6pm and 10pm, then I had to hand him to DH because I knew if I kept going I was going to lose my shit. DH took him for two hours (not all of which I slept for as he came in and changed him on the bed to start with, and then J screamed his head off downstairs for ages) and has just handed him back for a feed. I have eaten 50g of chocolate already. And last night I ate an entire Easter egg. Obviously the mainlining of chocolate has to stop but I do find it terribly helpful!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever my midwife suggested soaking my dressing in the bath to remove it on day 3! I had daily baths from then on for about ten days. Wound has been no trouble. I didn't put any bubble bath or oils in the water though - not told not to, but just felt it would be a bad plan.

Sorry to hear lots of you are struggling one way or another. You have my sympathies.

Also dreading nights atm as he's been ill (only a blocked nose/cold so nothing serious) but enough to make him clingy, cranky and not want to settle yet during the day he's generally fine and even slept soundly for SEVEN hours a few days ago during the day, so I know he can do it!!

We had our first outing by tube today so he's officially a Londoner. I live south of the river so it's essentially trains all the way here and you have to go further afield to get tubes so we haven't been on them before now. It made me realise how much of a pain being in a wheelchair would be in central London as so few stations have lifts and those that do are often very small and can sometimes only fit one pushchair in so you end up waiting forever (and missing
NR trains) as a consequence. We are taking the sling next time then can move at a non snail like pace! Positives though: due to aforementioned lack of pace we ended up travelling at the start of the evening peak around 5.15pm and it was much better than I'd anticipated so win win.

Haven't been on for a few days and do much to catch up on!
Had a rough couple of days. Went to the MLU Thursday to see a beast feeding consultant as DD is on me continuously with maybe 10 min breaks unless we are in the car or pram or it's night time. (Is this normal Iv read conflicting articles that it is normal or that babies should go at least 2 hours without being fed even in the day)
I broke down in there as that's where my traumatic labour started and where I was just neglected by the midwife until I got sent to the hospital for a c section. It brought back all my fears and Iv only just managed to go sleep in my own bed instead of sleeping on the sofa as I'm so worried that by settling in to the house with the baby something bad will happen and she'll be taken away or she'll become poorly again. Silly I know.
But anyway since we've had the breast feeding session she's still on my a lot hardly any breaks in between which the consultant said she's probably grazing rather than feeding because of the latch (even though she is latched in well and I'm using her technique) and my lovely DP told me yesterday 'I wasn't trying' I wanted to flip out at him. I feel awful. Like I'm doing something wrong and not feeding her enough with my milk. And today she's been pooping left right and centre. I'm exhausted. My DP thinks I'm picking on him because I'm tired and a little grouchy.
He threaten to go back to work yesterday so I told him to but he can't because he's booked it as holiday. I just feel I'm letting everyone down.

@Jenfur I'm sorry your DS is trying your patience. Just know you're doing a great job and his behaviour is probably him just testing boundaries with a new LO in tow. It must be so difficult when you're so tired. Hang in there you've got this!

@KarBB I dread day times as she's on me all the time in the day. It must be awful the night time dread! I know how you feel though about DP sleeping happily next to you. I've been up an hour now feeding and mine is snoring away next to me. It's a horrid feeling. Just know you're doing a great job and it will get easier (I keep telling myself that on a Daily basis).

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'm also 2 weeks PP I was in hospital for the first week and then Iv been home and having a bath with LO ever since. MW said it was fine to as long as you don't put anything in the bath other than baby stuff as it's really gentle on the skin and my incision area has been fine. Definitely have a soak unless yours seems infected but if it's healing well have a well deserved soak and relax!

@cardboard33 sorry your LO has been poorly! It's hard enough when they are well to manage to nights but I can't even imagine when they are poorly. Hope he gets well soon and you are able to get more rest!

Baby will not be put down the last three nights. He literally falls into a lovely deep sleep and as soon as he's put down anywhere he wakes up and starts crying. We've all been getting a little sleep by having him sleep on DP chest which has made me feel so guilty.

I've taken him off DP now for a few hours so he can get some sleep and I just feel crap. I've got a hemotoma from the c-section and it's so sore, I'm starving hungry but scared to move and wake baby and I'm terrified I'm going to fall asleep I don't know how I'm going to keep doing this!

I'm sorry so many of us are struggling, it's exhausting! Physically, mentally, emotionally.